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The WLS Journey, my way

Entries in this blog

 

Who's That Girl?

Recently we were on vacation, and while walking in a quaint shopping district, I notice a woman's reflection out of the corner of my eye......I did a double take when I realized.......that's MY reflection. My poor husband....I stop and ask "do I really look like that?" He puts his arm around my shoulder, smiles, and kisses the top of my head   I'm wearing 12's and 14's, loving it and being able to easily find clothes I like that fit, love being able to move easier, in less pain......I even wore a bathing suit and swam in public while on vacation LOL Even with my bat wings and flabby thighs.......it's all good.............BUT.......   Somehow I'm still trying to shake that larger image of myself that is tatoo'd on my brain -- like everything else, I'm a work in progress, I guess....

PGee

PGee

 

Took the Wind out of my Sails.....

I think we all have weight loss goals. After getting below 200, my next goal was to weigh less than my hubby.....177. When I hit 176 I did my skinny dance (glad no one took a video while I was acting silly)   Yesterday hubby asked what I weighed.....169.....he gets on the scales, and, you've got it, he's 169, fully dressed......I couldn't tell him that's what I weigh buck naked.....totally took the wind out of my sails........I'm very happy for him....he's a skinny guy but carries a little weight around the middle (envision 1/2 a basketball) that he wants to lose.   As I keep aiming for the finish line, I know I'll hit that goal [soon], again. Happy New Year everyone!

PGee

PGee

 

The one thing I "hate" as a post op.....

I haven't posted to my "blog" here in a while.....things are going good......still very thankful and happy to have had the sleeve......BUT there is ONE thing that really bothers me as a post op patient........   And, here it is: It's very difficult to cross my legs while I'm sitting at my desk. Ha Ha Ha Ha   I can remember not being able to cross my legs, for many years...........74 pounds down, and I usually sit with my legs crossed...because I can.

PGee

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Well, it finally happened......

I was talking with a woman who worked in my building, and I've known her for 16 years--however, I haven't seen her since they moved my office to another building a few years ago.....   We talked for a few minutes---she helped solve an issue we were having......I thanked her, and when I started to leave, she asked "have we met before?".....   I explained who I was, and she looked very confused.......I pulled out my drivers's license, and said "you may remember me like this"..........she still had a hard time believing it. LOL   I don't think that will ever get old!

PGee

PGee

 

First Outing Post Op [where I could eat]

Spent the day with a friend & her extended family.....people I have seen off and on over the last 30+ years....they are all slim, but they have huge appetites.....I swear I was born into the wrong family, because even when I was a size 6, I couldn't eat the way they do.....but they do, and after all these years, they are still slim.   I'm on pureed foods, so I packed a shake, just in case there wasn't anything appropriate.....they do not know about my surgery...I'm one of "those" who has kept it rather private, but my friend is used to seeing drink the RTD shakes.   They had the usual trays of ziti, eggplant, and my fave chicken francaise.......plus all the mayo loaded salads, rolls, and don't even get me started on the desserts.   I ended up having a slice of deli turkey, a very slim slice of hard boiled egg, and a bite of chicken.....literally a very small bite.....and slowly chewed my food until it was the pureed consistency.......a little scary that it all went down so easily.   They gave me a hard time about using a small plate.....but I told them if I didn't, I'd overeat.......they didn't mention it again, and no one noticed what I did or did not eat......   I was afraid this was going to be very hard, but it was quite doable.....just wish I could have measured/weighed what I ate LOL It was so nice not to want to sample every food that was set out...what a wonderful change.

PGee

PGee

 

From: This is a Public Service Announcement concerning Stalls & Plateaus

GamerGirl writes some of the best stuff.....I didn't want to lose this, so I'm keeping it on my "blog".......the 2nd week after surgery I had 5 days where my weight stayed the same......was it a stall? I didn't know and didn't care.......with everything I've read about VSG, I knew there would be bumps on this journey and not to get discouraged......but for more information, GG has posted some great reads below.       Source: This is a Public Service Announcement concerning Stalls & Plateaus

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Girls Day Out on Day 11 Post Op

Today was a girls day out.....and we scrapbook together......I brought my meals....I'm still on full liquids.....and thought I'd be all set......then dinner was brought out..........total head hunger.......   I nearly reasoned that I could have a bite if I chewed it very, very well. Note: I've had this dinner before....it's not that great LOL But I still wanted it.............desperately..........and no, I wasn't hungry.....haven't been hungry since being sleeved.   I sipped my protein drink.....still wanted the dinner..........so I left the room and called my hubby........You're probably sick of me saying this, but I've come to far to screw this up.............After taking a walk, chatting with hubby, I was able to put this behind me.....just needed a distraction to focus on.   We've heard it before......and it's worth repeating.......whatever struggles we experienced before surgery, we will have them afterwards......and they need to be worked on/addressed.......the sleeve is only a tool, not a magic wand..   I'm glad I didn't give in to my old habit "a bite won't hurt".

PGee

PGee

 

Tears of joy

My husband & I were talking, and I got a bit emotional about this journey and so thankful for his support.....the poor man, he is my sole support......well, that and VST!   He's never asked how much I weighed, but knew I was over 200 pounds. I was 250 in January.....forget about getting to a healthy weight....I was feeling overwhelmed at the possibility at just getting below 200 and feeling I would never reach that goal.   Today I weighted in at 217 and got teary eyed when I realized getting under 200 is possible, and it's in sight.....don't know how long it'll take to get there, but am giving it my all.   My husband is hurt that I don't wear my wedding band/engagement ring. I already had them sized 5 years after we married...back in 1989....and I refused to have them sized again--unless it's smaller.....felt if I got them sized again to a bigger size it was acknowledging I'll never get to a healthy weight.....and I wasn't going down w/o a fight.   He has no clue, but I can now wear my wedding rings......our anniversary is coming up in a few weeks....I plan on surprising him by wearing them....I'm so excited, I want to wear them now....but I don't want to ruin the surprise.....wish me luck!

PGee

PGee

 

Two Days out of Surgery, and here's my experience...

The night before surgery....I kept myself busy and finally at 11 dropped from exhaustion.....and slept like a baby until the alarm went off at 4 a.m. I was in the OR, getting prepped for surgery, asked for something for nausea in my IV, we had a few laughs, and the next thing I know, I'm happily waking up in recovery...   My eye sight was blurry for hours after the surgery....and as soon as they let me, I walked...blurry eye sight or not.....the fear of gas pain was my motivator, I walked as often and as far as they'd let me....and continued walking every hour starting the 1st day after surgery.   When I was finally in a room (long delay), I felt utterly helpless and useless....like a beetle on its back.   I'm not a fan of pain killers......don't experience pain like most people....I only took something late at night (not sure I needed it, but thought it couldn't hurt and sleep was important.)   Morning came early, and the first thing I did was pee and walk...I don't think people knew what to make of me walking at 5:30 in the morning, so I just smiled and said good morning.....had the dreaded leak test this morning (wasn't so bad)....found it.hard to sip my liquids today, but wasn't too worried because I'm hooked to an IV......they are giving me prilosec in my IV, and I've never had nausea.   I am sore, but not in any real pain. The only pain is when I breath in deep. The biggest problem I'm facing is high blood pressure.....it's all over the map.....so they are giving me something for that.....6 hours later we finally see a break.   Day 2.....time to go home! Yeeha! so sick of being hooked up to an IV and having my pee measured and BP taken LOL The first thing I do is get up for my early morning walk.........and surprised how much easier it is to get up and out of that bed....wow! They give me another dose for my blood pressure.....will have my blood pressure checked on Monday with my PCP...may have to go on blood pressure medicine until some of this weight is gone (I've never been on BP meds before)   I was dreading the self injections.....did that this morning, and it wasn't so bad.   UPDATE: I did have a drain, and that for a brief second or two hat was some intense pain when it was take out---but again, very brief.   I haven't experienced the gas pains yet....hoping all that walking worked it out....but I'm still walking.....   I've experienced my restriction...took one little sip too many and felt it.....luckily it was a tiny sip and went away quickly. UPDATED: this pain I'm experiencing is a spasm, not a restriction....will try warm liquids and see how it goes.   Now that I'm home, my arms are killing me.....I figure one is from the IV....no idea about the other....my IV was in my hand, and my hand is a little swollen and sore.   I was told the priority and goal in the next few days is to get down the isopure (1/2 bottle mixed with water).....finding it difficult, but I sip as much as I can (I found in the hospital juice and broth went down much easier LOL)   I haven't gained weight from the hospital (yet anyway) but I am swollen around the mid section.   Right now I'm feeling rather fortunate....have not had a WTH did I do moment. I'm so thankful to have a wonderful man by my side for support.   The things I packed that I used....a pillow (only for the ride home)....a maxidress w/o anything at the waist was great for going home with a cami underneath...a note pad/pen for notes/questions for when the doctor came in...my own tooth brush/paste, hiar brush, eye glass case, and my cell phone to check in with VST and for my email.   I know this is just the first step in a life long journey, but rather than anxious as I have been, I'm looking forward to the ride.....

PGee

PGee

 

To tell or not to tell, that's the question

I've struggled with telling people from the start of this journey. Mostly because I dread the negative reactions and rude comments. Another issue that I have is a direct result from a traumatic event that happened a few years ago. People focused on that constantly, for a couple of years....and it gets old---you try to heal, move on, live a normal life, and they can't help but ask about it, comment about it, and it can be a downer (even if their intentions are good). I don't want people to focus on this (I do enough of it on my own )   This morning I've figured at some point I may tell the truth when asked, but I won't put out a banner announcing it......and gmanbat's post below couldn't have come at a better time. THANK YOU GMANBAT!       Source: VSG: status symbol?

PGee

PGee

 

Pre-Op...Day Three

It was all fun and games until around 5:30, when that evil doer, Head Hunger, came around...I was stressing a bit, and I wanted food!   The urge to eat was a little overwhelming.....I was so desperate, I think I would have gone for a piece of cardboard with a little salt Instead, I had some water, kept busy, then had my shake at 7 p.m.....poor hubby, his dinner was an afterthought tonight....   I received a letter from the insurance company today stating they'd approved a hospital stay of 1 day...all conversations with the dr's said 2 days...so I called the ins. co. and yes, as it stands, I will be going home the day after surgery....a scary thought to be released a day after having [what I think is] major surgery.....hubby is wonderful, but nurturing just doesn't come easily to him....he's still in training LOL [and that's okay, housework doesn't come naturally to me]     They did say if another day is needed, a 2nd authorization could be requested......the letter was dated 7/22 and says the next review will be 7/24 (as in yesterday)... ...I sent my dr's office a quick email and left it at that. I can't control it and nothing I can do about it.....   That's all for today. Good night!  

PGee

PGee

 

Tough Love....From: Three Years Later - What I've Learned

Here's some tough love.....and sometimes we need to hear this.....still have 12 days of my pre-op, but want to make sure I can find this again 2 months down the road......soda = battery acid -- I like that! Thanks Doug for this post.       Source: Three Years Later - What I've Learned

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Update: Clothes & Pre-op Diet

I've started going through that massive pile of clothing......So far there is a garbage bag going to the curb this morning, something for goodwill.....and I've found clothing that fits and clothing that's too big.....that's always a good thing!   The coolest thing--I ran into a favorite maxi dress---and it fits.....have decided it's going with me to wear after surgery in the hospital.....Hey, why not look stylish while walking the halls, right? Plus nothing around the waist, and the material has a lot of stretch.   I'm on the pre-op diet, and keeping busy.....I painted my nails....all 20 of them! I can't tell you the last time I had my toes painted....over 20 years ago, I'm sure.   Day two went well. We went bowling last night, and there was a snack bar.....I ate my "yogurt-protein powder pudding" in the car, tossed in a water bottle with crystal light......and refilled it with water all night long....the pre-op diet now a mindset....it's my personal challenge. People could eat around me last night...I could care less......and trust me, the smells from the snack bar all night were quite delicious smelling....BUT....   Getting on the scale this morning and seeing it go down is much, much better.   Gotta Run.....for my pre-op fellow sleevers, keep busy and be good to yourself....stay on your plan.....you got this! Have a great day!

PGee

PGee

 

From: Sweets, Snacks, Sneaks And Lies

Source: Sweets, Snacks, Sneaks And Lies   This isn't my blog entry.....but it's so wonderfully written and inspiring, I am adding it to my blog so I know where to find it again.....Thank you WriterGirl!

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PGee

 

thoughts on pain and pain management

So, I should probably preface this with I either don't feel pain like most or I have vast experience in ignoring it really, really well LOL.....I'll save the gory details I've experienced my fair share of broken bones and surgeries over the years.   However, I just don't think we need to experience undue pain if it's avoidable.   After my gallbladder was removed, I took one pain killer the following day (don't remember what they gave me in the hospital)...sure it was sore, but nothing to write home about.....I'd rather be sore than loopy LOL I'm hoping the pain from VSG will be similar.   The surgeon's office told me they suport patients taking pain meds at night so they can sleep, but would prefer no pain meds during the day so patients can get in all their water, etc. following surgery, because if you're asleep during the day, you're not drinking.....sounds logical enough......   BUT if I have to, I'll be taking the pain meds....even if it's just 1/2 a dose to take the edge off......At this stage in my life, I'm too damn old to put up with unnecessary pain   13 days and counting.......and you know I'll have a new post on pain post-op in 14 days or so LOL (still hard to believe us 8/6 sleevers are so close)

PGee

PGee

 

Clothes, clothes, and more clothes

Oh my gosh, I went into the attic to take down my old clothes......I knew I probably had 2 sizes worth......I really wasn't ready for what I found up there......it looks like a hoarder got a hold of my hallway.....   I don't know how well you can see it, but these are most of the clothes that were in the attic....yes there are more (but not much)......the pile is about 7 feet long, and 2 feet high, and most of it is in those space age vacuum bags.....yikes!   Now, I have 45 minutes to find a home for it before DH comes home and has a cow (he is as neat as they come) LOL   The question is do I 1) quickly hide them; 2) fess up; or 3) throw them into the car and madly drive to Goodwill, drop them off and buy what I need as I lose weight? I'm kind of liking the last idea, except is in direct conflict with my typical frugal nature.....   I don't know what made me do it today, other than I have the energy to do it.....I suppose I should have vacuumed instead LOL It's hot as anything up there, and now I'm soaking....I have water droplets on my glasses..   So, here's the picture......blurry as it is

PGee

PGee

 

I think this is the "holy cwap" moment

Today was the pre-op with the surgeon, tomorrow the fun pre-op diet begins.....14 day count down...I have to make an appointment at the hospital tomorrow for pre-op testing.   They gave me a prescription to fill for a blood thinner that I have to administer myself via a needle post op. Ummm, I hate needles....if they are given to someone else, I don't have a problem LOL So, this should be interesting.   after looking at the syringes in the box, I just stared at them feeling a bit dumbfounded.....and started to shake.....seriously, this just got real. Holy Cwap! (substitute the W with an R if you like) LOL   For a brief moment I got the "what the heck am I doing" feeling......but it was a fleeting thought....all the benefits of having WLS came rushing back, thank goodness!   I'm definitely anxious, no doubt about it.....nervous energy.....and yes, I already have a few things packed for the hospital LOL   Good night!        

PGee

PGee

 

Pre-Op Liquid Diet Experiment

On Tuesday I start my official pre-op liquid diet. BUT as I said, I am doing a trial run for 3 days beforehand.....and, the first day went fine. Always the planner, I figured out how many hours they should be spread over, and made a schedule as a guide   The only thing I'm doing differently today is starting at an earlier hour.....I couldn't get all the shakes in yesterday because I didn't start until 8:30, which meant I had one every 2 hours......yikes! Who'd think you could get so full! So here I am at 6:30 a.m., sipping and typing LOL   And, to get out of the heat yesterday we went bowling (how fun).....and yes, I even walked into the bowling lanes with a shake.....A few hours later, we drove by a DQ.......hubby looked like a little kid....."Hey, you want ice cream?" I told him to go ahead because it was time for another shake anyway.....Neither of us have had DQ in years.............and when he got back to the car, he offered a lick off his cone......Luckily I don't like vanilla soft serve LOL........BUT I had to give him a hard time....."Seriously, you are offering me ice cream? [yes] Honey, if this was Tuesday, would you offer me ice cream then? [no]" He had his held down as if in shame, but looking at me with a gleam in his eyes and that boyish charm of his..........I just hope he was testing me...

PGee

PGee

 

Planning for Pre-OpDiet.....

Don't stress over it, plan for it . That's my new mantra LOL   We had a wonderful lunch today, and I was thinking what would I have done differently if they had the luncheon next week as originally planned, during my pre=op diet?.....I would have had a shake before I left the office, and ordered a clear soup, just drink the broth and as a backup, bring a bouillon cube and ask for a cup of tea....and use it for my bouillon instead.....if that's what I had to do.....   I really didn't have much notice of the surgery, and don't have time to plan for a food funeral. LOL To be honest, I think that would set me up for failure...I have 3 days left before I go all liquids...so I am making the best choices I can whatever circumstances I find myself in this weekend....may even go all liquids tomorrow. Shocking, I know LOL. I thought I wanted Chinese one day this week, but it didn't happen, and honestly, I don't see it happening---and I'm good with that   It is H-O-T! for dinner, I just wanted something cold...still experimenting with protein powders....mixed a scoop of syntax nectar wild cherry protein powder with 4 oz of water with a stick blender.....then poured it over shaved ice......it was nothing like a sno cone, and I could only use 1/2 the drink, but it was cold, crunchy, wild cherry, and pretty yummie.....(someone gave me an ice shaver years ago, and I never knew what to do with it....now I know LOL)   Right now a small batch of stew is simmering so it can be frozen for hubby.....he won't tell me what he wants while I'm on clear liquids post op (I told him I'm not cooking that week)....so I'm making what I want him to eat, and if he doesn't like it, well hopefully he'll have learned a lesson LOL   Good night everyone....be good....

PGee

PGee

 

Approval.....this is really happening

Today I got THE call.....well, the email actually...the subject line: "APPROVED!" the body of the email "call me so we can go forward". I had been in touch with Stefanie for a month or so following my progress and keeping her updated with the status of all the tests and various appointments. When I saw the email, one eye started leaking (who, me cry? No, that wasn't a tear rolling down my cheek....I didn't realize how concerned I was about getting approved right away--..that was against the odds due to new ins. rules---but they approved me anyway................this morning I was a wreck---no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get through to the dr's office w/o interruptions----I started to wonder "is this a sign? perhaps I shouldn't go through with it" But I squashed those thoughts---and quick! People kept coming in and out of my office (usually it's a dead zone), someone set up an appointment with me & an auditor, but neglected to tell me---so I had to stop everything and play gopher, digging through files for the required records---I'm always the last to know LOL.....so I tried to call a little later, and while I'm on the phone, someone picks up a random extension and starts dialing, disconnecting me & my doctor's office--and they did this twice! I was a nervous wreck to begin with, and all of these shenanigans just made me more anxious and shaky----and I was shaky for a few hours afterwards---too excited and thankful and scared to death, all at the same time. It's hard to imagine in 20 days I will be sitting on the losers' bench. It's taken me years to get to this point, and many thanks are extended to the VST members who shared their experience, offered their input, and have been candid about the good and the not so good parts of WLS......thank you. I "think" I'm ready for what's ahead....I've been reading everything I can about VSG---I am absolutely obsessed.....BUT is anyone REALLY fully and completely prepared for this? I don't think so---until after the actual surgery.....I'm so glad that I know I may have buyers' remorse initially, hormones will be out of whack, there can be stalls along the way, and everyone's body does not lose at the same pace.......the liquid pre-op diet is not fun, but hopefully I'll keep my attitude in check....if not, you have the right to call me out due to my bad attitude LOL ..I believe if I can't follow the pre-op diet, I have no right to show up for surgery come 8/6.............because the real challenge will be what comes after the surgery.....Be good to yourselves & those around you......Until next time......

PGee

PGee

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