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Thoughts and feelings through the process of gastric sleeve surgery

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Secrets

I was sitting around today thinking about my surgery and those that have been supportive and those that have not or would not be.   A year ago when I began thinking about undergoing the surgery I approached a friend. I began asking his opinion about the surgery. when he said you don't need it you just need to diet and keep at it. I sat looking at him as if he had lost his mind, he is over six feet tall and grossly over weight. He has a bad habit of eating food from the plate of his son when he does not finish his meal. But he knows my diet habits?   I let the subject drop and have not said word about it since. I went to my information session to decide if this was the choice for me and was encouraged that it was.   As the year has gone by he has seen me and is always in my cabinets. He is quick to notice there is not any junk food or bad snacks. He noticed the various protein drinks and asked what I was doing with them. I told him i was experimenting with favors and staying my course on my diet.   All of this to say is that I am keeping secrets from those that are friends. I don't want to be judged by them even when I feel I have been judged.   One of my own sisters thinks I should just keep dieting and that the surgery is extreme. My feeling is that of course she would she's never been obese.   To be fair I have told five people and they have been most supportive and from this I am happy. My overall happiness is my responsibility and I'm very happy with my decision to a better way of living.   I do worry that once I start dropping weight that the cat will be out of the bag. But until that time I will be keeping my secret.      
kw2walker

kw2walker

8
 

I got the call!

Do you remember where and what you were doing when you received the call; the call to confirm your surgery date?   I happened to miss my call because I was at work and while in a meeting left my cell phone at my desk. Once I got to my phone I recall listening to my message and once I heard the messages stoppded, hung up and found a private office. At least 3 times I played the message back before calling the office to confirm I received the message.   The staff I worked with at Temple University are the best. They worked with me through all of the bumps in the road I encountered. The were encouraging, thoughtful, understanding and most importantly supportative. I can never thank them enough.   My big day is July 22, 2013.   The first thing I did was to review my food and supply list and go shopping. I have all of the required vitamins, protein drinks, soft foods, etc. for the first three weeks. The second thing I did was call my support team. They were excited and supportive as well that the date had finally been set.   I really doubled down on making sure I am chewing my food well, drinking plenty of water and eating small portions. I have been successful in lossing 10 pounds in two weeks being this steadfast. I would love to have more weight off by surgery day. I need to get good before and after pictures.   Clothes! I have no plans to run out and purchase new clothes. Well, if anything I am looking forward to smaller underware. But I want to see what the first 3 months of this journery bring. So with that I plan to dust off the sewing machine as well as visiting a few second hand stores in my area. Of my intial weight loss since I began this journery June 1, 2012 I lost 25 pounds. I gained 15 then lost 10. In this process it has been great treading clothes with my sister. She is has been dieting and we exchange notes on what we eat and how we prepare food. So during a recent visit I was given lots of clothes, even some that don't fit.   For the clothes that don't fit they are my reward clothes. I can't wait to wear them. I do realize that not everyone likes to wear clothes from second hand shops and that's fine. Do what works for you in getting the new wardrobe for the new you.   As of this writing I have not requested off time from work. I have not told my employer, I do however plan to follow the proper procedures to inform them of needed time off and setup the paperwork for short term disablilty and FMLA. I hope I need only 3 weeks off. I feel guilty missing work, but I have the time so this is I how I have planned my days off.   I wanted to get back in the groove of visiting this site and hearing and sharing the journerys we all are taking in this process. I signed up a year ago and when I hit my snag I stopped visiting. But I realized I will need support along this journey and what better place to be than here.   My other big call I received was June 13, 2013, that call was the pre-op testing. I was surprised that I will be there all day but it is necessary for my journery. I have to meet the surgeon as well that day so its cool I will bring my supplies with me so I don't get hungry.   The last call I am waiting for is the one when the hospital calls and tells you what time to arrive. That is the pot of gold! All systems are go then baby!   I hope to continue to share as well as read and interact with everyone here. Continued success on your journery.   Karen
kw2walker

kw2walker

6
 

Underwear - Dare I hit Victoria Secrets?

With today being the first day of summer my thoughts have been on light and flowing dresses and tops.   I went into a store and hit the clearance rack. I found a cute sassy dress that I know I can alter as the weight melts away. I was tickled pink when it slid over the body and did not cling to me.   I instantly thought of push up bras and sexy undies, 7/22/13 can't come fast enough. All of that to say I want the foundation garments that will have me walking with that extra spring in my step. Lol   So the planning begins, I want to reward myself with a visit to Victoria Secrets (VS) and purchase underwear that scream SEXY! And they have to be HOT RED.   In the past I've darkened the doors of a VS store because I was with my friend that can fit their products. It's going to be a total scream the first time I can make a purchase. There is not a plan to buy then work to get into the undies. The goal is to reward each milestone I hit in order them without the psychological stress.   So I figure at 30, 60, and 90 pound milestones I'll reward myself. Once I hit the ultimate goal of 100 pounds lost its the full hot res sexy ensemble. Push-up bra, high cut sexy undies, garter and stocking to seal the deal. LOL.   To round this all out,how has the VGS community been rewarding themselves for reaching their goals?
kw2walker

kw2walker

5
 

Stalling

I have been reading posts from the site now for a few weeks and I am always amazed when folk post about stalling.   I'm not due for my surgery until the 22nd of this month and like all of us want to know what to expect pre and post surgery, but I am always so amazed at the panic that seems to be displayed when one is not losing weight.   Managing one's expectations would be my advice. We do not gain weight instantly nor will we lose weight that way. We all heal differently and our bodies will react differently. Don't jump on the scale every day, again manage the expectation. Try once a week or do a bi-monthly weigh in.   Be true to yourself. I know for example that I may cheat on my pre-op diet over the next two weeks. But since there are buffers provided by my NUT, I purchased what I will need to succeed, unsweetened applesauce and SF jello. They will be great snacks in between slimfast shakes.   Adjust your diet, use tools that will help, myfitnesspal.com is a good source. Have a good intake of water, and as should be our norm by now, take in protein first.   I think another suggestion is not to give up. We worked so hard to get here, over come all types of problems in order to succeed. Let stall equate to adjust, that is what your body and systems are doing, adjusting. This new way of eating and lifestyle takes some adjusting.   As we continue on our journery I wish us all success.
kw2walker

kw2walker

5
 

Bummed out

This has been the worst three days!   I moved on Wednesday, while on day three of liquid diet. The move took three days! Everything hurts. Protein shakes alone did not help. I have a car full of crap to unload and it's raining buckets. I just want my new home in order befor surgery! I feel like crying.   But I had some broth and I'm beginning to feel some what better. Maybe a power nap is in order. Lol   My sister was to come to be with me for the surgery and she called today to tell me she has something wrong with her leg and is at the ER. She may need surgery. I'm pulling up my big girl panties and pushing forward.   Then I thought about my mom all weekend during the move, I miss her so much; she's been gone for six years but it still feels like yesterday. I wish my mom had taken the chance to have the surgery 10 years ago. I honesty believe she would still be here.   Ok shaking off the blues, I'll be my own sunshine along with the help of fellow sleevers. This is our month July, the new me is itching to come out, some are ahead of me and some are behind, but we will all graduate!
kw2walker

kw2walker

5
 

Steps away from the finish line!

Two days away and I will have crossed the finish line.   Today I have been eating SF Popsicles all day along with broth. I don't fell hungry. I just could not drink another Slimfast! I plan on having SF jello for tomorrow. I will be packing shortly. I'm so excited. I don't want to over pack. I have to drag that stuff three flights up once discharged. So light is the way to go.   Thinking of wearing a maxi dress or draw string shorts; Simple comfortable clothes. Hope it's not super hot when I'm discharged. I plan to walk the hall until my first post op visit. Then if all cleared I can do the stairs and I can walk the track.   I also wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts as well as the great advice and feedback to all the sleevers on this site. It has been a great help.   Continued success on this journey!   Karen
kw2walker

kw2walker

4
 

I did it! I crossed the finish line

I crossed the finish line. What a wonderful feeling of accomplishment.   The day of surgery I was up at four, showered again (my skin hated that soap) and did my skin prep (skin hated that as well) and dressed. I dressed in a sassy, long sleeveless maxi dress and high wedged sandals. I thought I looked cute lol. My friend came and off we went.   The friend and I sat and talked for 30 minutes then I went into the hospital. They didn't start allowing folks into admissions until 5:45 so I had a 15 min wait.   At the given time we go up and the steps of the journey begin. I was fine at first then I started praying that all goes well and I felt like crying. The tears were happy and sad, happy I was having the procedure and sad in thinking that if my mom had taken this chance she would still be here with me.   I dried my eyes, I couldn't have folks think I was a chicken lol. And waited.   All of the doctored, associated staff came by to introduce themselves etc., it was cool. I had the best nurses that setup my IV and checked my vitals. They assured me I would be fine and vouched for my surgeon big time. They said he did not play around and took his work very seriously. I felt all the stress leave me then.   Then they said, it was time. Eight folks were in the room and all introduced themselves. I moved onto the table, they lined me up, strapped me in and put the gas on and I woke up in my room about noon.   I need to be very clear on this point, I HATE MORPHINE! Ok, that's better. That stuff made me so sick. I worked too hard to it vomit. They made me walk in a morphine stupor, that my friends was ugly. I stopped using the morphine pump (PCA) at 10 pm that first night and felt tons better. My pain was minimal compared to the soreness I felt from trying to control muscles that have been operated on so I would not vomit.   Day two was sooooo much better, 2am I buzzed the nurse and asked to walk. I did three laps around the long halls and felt good. Then I was told I could wash, that was like winning the lottery.   At 6am I was up and walking again, two laps this time and once in my room I was allowed some peaceful time in the bathroom to wash and change my gown.   The rest of the day was spent begging to have the foley removed and texting friends and family to let them know I was ok. Then cat napping. I was successful in getting the foley removed and having more quality time in the bathroom.   I had a private room and wonderful nurses and CNAs to help me. My favorite nurse was named Karen. She was nice, friendly, and very helpful.   About 2 pm I started making my arrangements for a ride home. My niece was staying a week with me so she had a friend come with her and they picked me up. I did not realize how scared she was for me, she burst in the room all wild eyed. I started laughing and asked what was wrong, she gave me a good looking over then said nothing, nothing just wanted to be sure you are ok.   Later I found out why she was so worried. She visited some sites that told of horror or of things that went wrong for those having the sleeve. I assured her that I was fine and that if she had asked I would have shared the sites I used in my research.   Today marks a week and one day since surgery and I have NO regrets! I feel good, I'm losing weight slow and easy. I can even administer my shots myself with ease.   I am thankful and very blessed to have this opportunity. I'm glad I waited until this time in my life to have the procedure.   A special thank you to all that read the posts and respond to them. They are life lines of insight into the WLS world, they help with issues, concerns, fears, successes, defeats, joy and pride.   I would like to wish you all continued success on your journeys.   Karen
kw2walker

kw2walker

3
 

Continuous improvement

Surgery was July22, 2013; recovery time four weeks. No major problem other than morphine is not my friend.   The weight is coming off at a rate I can enjoy. Any faster and I'd have to go to work in a sack. Lol the slow weight loss allows me to purchase a few new clothes. All of my 22-20 size pants don't fit and I can assume my skirts won't either.   I don't get upset if the scale does not move. I just look in the mirror and can see the difference in the inches I've lost.   Best advise, follow the program outlined by your doctor, go to all follow up appointments, ask when and how often you will need blood work done. Continue to get your fluids in everyday. Take your vitamins and supplements, they are very important. Eat protein first.   When you are unsure, ask your doctor. We are all different so the way your doctor may have trained and performed the procedure will be different and the instructions you follow will be different from someone else. That does not make it wrong, just different.   Join a support group that is up lifting, I don't stay on this one much any more due to some bad vibes of folks and I've had to block them. I do check in from time to time because there are good people asking great questions and need help. Have more than one support outlet.   Lastly don't judge. How and why we became over weight is personal. How we opt to lose the weight is personal. When you start to judge, please stand in front of the mirror to ensure you include yourself in the mix. If anything play it forward, be a good mentor and friend. There are some out there that will truly benefit from it.   Stay true to the journey.   Karen
kw2walker

kw2walker

3
 

Ready, Set, GO!

Its the next to the last day in June. Come Monday it will be July! The count down begins. Wednesday is pre-op testing. The 22nd is Sleeve day!   Ready: Since 2004 I've been ready to do something about my weight and have been trying hard to get it together. This decision is the best on for me. So I'm ready!   Set: the surgery date is set, pre-op testing date is set, mindset is right, life style is going to settle into one that will allow me to set loose the wild child I am. I can go and fit into places, do things I've been to embarrassed to do because of my size, I get it live!   Go! Moving forward to a healthier life, long life God willing. I'm so happy I could cry at times. Its the strength I have found in making the changes. I stopped eating bread, I stopped drinking coffee and tea, I do have decafe around but have not touched it. I've never smoked.   I've cleaned out my cabinets of foods I know I must avoid, it's nice being able to give the food stuffs to people that can use it. I've donated clothes that I know I can't wear, won't wear and shouldn't wear lol.   I'll spend today packing, I'm moving next weekend into a new apartment. So July is truly a new me month.   I admit, I'm getting nervous. But my sister that is supporting me in my decision is coming to visit, it will be nice to have family going in and coming out of this procedure.   Thank you to everyone that posts and comments on this site, pro or con. The experiences shared have helped a lot.   Continued success to everyone on their journeys.   Karen
kw2walker

kw2walker

3
 

My Pre-Op Liquid Diet

Yesterday, July 8th started the first day of the liquid diet my doctor requested before surgery. Day one was not bad at all. I was so busy that I did not realize I had not eaten.   Today is a different story. I had my breakfast shake and while riding to work on the train I had my crystal light. My mid-day consisted of another shake followed by another crystal light. I didn't feel bad at all. For lunch I ran to the doctors office to pick up my FMLA paperwork. Once I was back in the office at 1 pm I had another crystal light then half and hour later had another shake. At about 3pm my head is hurting. But I press on it wasn't bone crushing but a dull ache. I get home from work and have yet another shake.   I am in the process of moving this week so for two hours I loaded and unloaded my car and worked up a good funky sweat. Lol. It was a good work out for sure. I need to take something for pain and I did make sure it was not aspirin or ibuprofen. Once I get showered, I plan to have another shake, the last one of the night, anything else will be crystal light.   For tomorrow, I will be so busy with moving that I know I won't have time to focus on food or lack of food. But I have to maintain my strength so that means getting my shakes in.   Well off to the shower I go, these old funky bones need it.
kw2walker

kw2walker

3
 

Pre-op Testing

Tomorrow is pre-op testing for me, I am so excited.   I meet with the surgeron first, 10:30am then off to do the medical testing at 12:30pm that is to last until 4pm. I'll be able to get my FMLA papers completed while there. Once testing is done, Monday starts the two weeks of a liquid diet. I hope I do well there. Trying to decide if I need to pack protein drinks, for tomorrow. It will a long day so I want to be equipped with what I need so I don't eat anything that I should not have. I'll eat a high protein breakfast, and go from there.   Having lost 15 lbs in June, today was a good day in that I got to wear a pair of shorts that I have not worn in at least two years. This has been an exciting journey. I am looking forward to seeing the further results.   Thank you everyone that provide insight and comments on their experiences. The information has been informative and insightful.   I can't wait to join the ranks of those sleeved.   Karen   ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************   7/3/13   Today was an exciting day as well as long.   I left my home at 9:30am and headed to the hospital. My appointment with the surgeon was for 10:30am, I arrived to bariatric program office at 10:00am. I was a bit excited. I wanted to see what the scale said. What was special about my visit today was that when I walked in the staff greeted me with a loud "Hi Karen!" I wasn't just a patient.   I met with the nurse, that reviewed the breathing tool, then the soap needed to wash my body the night before and the day of surgery. I then met with the nutritionist who discussed what I will need to do for the next two weeks. I am to drink Slimfast, where I have a 1000 calorie a day diet for 13 days, that last day will be all clear liquid.   Upon leaving the surgeon's office I head to pre-admission. I get my paperwork completed, insurance paperwork reviewed, then I wait to be called in for testing. Testing consisted of blood being drawn, and EKG being performed and meeting with the anesthesiologist, they also went over how to wash the body with the special soap and there are wipes that are used an hour after them shower. Once again, I signed my name on the dotted line a lot today!   I was glad I ate this morning a high protein meal and carrled with me a protein shake and a crystal light drink. I would have been starving when I left. I completed by day at 2:30pm. I did receive a discount on parking today. Nice perk. LOL   My next stop of the day was the supermarket. I purchased salad and skim milk, I figure I would enjoy a good salad tomorrow. Come Monday, no more solids. I did really, I thought I would buy a bunch of junk food thinking I would have the mindset of this will be my last hoorah. But I didn't, I purchased health foods.   A third stop of my afternoon was the dollar store. I ended up getting, breath strips, along with the brush and go toothbrushes. From the various readings on the site it was mentioned how folks said they would get bad breath. I wanted to be well stocked and armed once I get back to work.   I am so excited and very nervous, but I know this is the right decision for me health wise.     Now the race is on!
kw2walker

kw2walker

2
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