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This too shall pass...

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Owwww.....that hurts ....kinda.

So five days later and I am doing ..good. I'm shocked. I expected to be flat on my back and forcing liquid down in between gasps of pain. But no. I keep waiting for things to take a turn to bad but they don't - it keeps getting better every day. I was on pain meds the first few days but after day two I was taking less and less. Now it's just me and the occassional twinge. I still have a drainage tube in - the pulling on the stitches hurts more than anything else. I am getting at least 30 minutes a day light light exercise, all my liquid and all my protein. By about 4 pm I need a nap but only for an hour. I am also getting 8 hours a night good sleep - even with a drainage tube.   I haven't weighed myself because they asked me not to (based upon my swollen tummy the first few days I would say that was smart).   So what can I tell you that made it easier......listen to the professionals and follow their instructions. I started a pre op excercize that got me as fit as possible, preop diet to the letter. Getting up and walking after the operation (pushing past the initial pain of getting up and then walking - only the initial pain of getting up - it does not continue!), and breathing! Take deep breaths and slow exhale...think yoga. It not only gently stretches the stomach muscles and lung muscles it also gets oxygen into the system. And finally to combat sore throat Chloraseptic spray. It makes drinking easier, breathing easier, and getting those pain meds down.   And remember each day is better than the one before !

abbygirl

abbygirl

 

Sleeve Today - Gone Tomorrow

Yep D Day is here aka operation day. I am not nervous. This shocks me. Could be e premedication I've taken but I haven't felt nervous at all. That doesn't mean I haven't had moments of "worst case scenario" syndrome but for the most part I am good!   My appointment is for 7:30 but have to be there one hour before to get IV, gowned oh yhea and pay the anesthesiologist (thank you spell check).   Through this whole journey to today I have had my husband supporting me the whole way. Thank you darling.   Nope I'm feeling good and looking forward to being on the other side - recovery pain and all.   Good luck to all being sleeves today- see you on the other side.

abbygirl

abbygirl

 

Hi ho hi ho...it's off to see the Doc we go!

One week preop diet down one to go. Get to finally meet the surgeon today . Get to ask him all the questions I have. Thing is I don't have any. Between this board, books, and Google (thank God for Google) I think I got it.   From everything I've read no two people are the same in recovery, no two are the same in weight loss and no two are the same in final results. That means every question will be answered as you can expect or on average.   I will listen carefully to what he has to say but when he asks , do you have any questions, I don't think I will. Makes me think I should make some up just to make him feel good (how about, how long do you have to practice to pay off your student loans for med school - guess that's not what he is looking for),   Fortunately I have my husband along. He has been there every step but he's not on the boards here or reading books so I am sure he will have questions.   I will take the time to tell him how inefficient his office is (even today's 2pm appointment was confirmed to be 2:45 - how does that even happen).   I laugh because in Canada we have a social health system (which I get questioned on every time I travel to the US). And while it has its hiccups (long waits being #1- which is why I am self paying in the US) I have not seen the level of inefficiency on the adminstration side here as I have with this. From talking with my friends in the US this is not unusual. Really?? And you're okay with that.   Have to say neither system is perfect but I like the option of accessing both. Wish I could blend them together but big business and socialism don't mix (so sayeth ....someone).   So don't get me wrong I'm happy I have the ability to access an immediately available medical source but just would have expected better non-medical services/support for my $17,200.   Oh yhea..... Have to pay today. Wonder if that is why they really want to "see" me.

abbygirl

abbygirl

 

Pre-op workout set up.

So before the Vacay I ordered a treadmill. My schedule is so hectic that I can't get to the gym (without getting up earlier than my 5am start now or staying up later than 9:30- which I can't do). It arrived today and I am sitting here blogging as my darling husband puts it together. Almost didn't happen. The company I ordered from (Nordic Track) only delivered to the garage - we knew that. Thank God it is going in the room off the garage. My sister and fiancé said they would help bring it in - it weighs almost 300 lbs. at the very last minute we got a call - no can do how about tomorrow.   Now let me tell you a bit about my little sister. She is 5'5" and a size 8 with a challenged IQ but as smart as a whip getting what she wants. Earlier she had come by to get my wedding veil and tiara for her destination wedding. She got those. Now when I needed her help - yep too busy. She is currently the "favored" child in my sibling cluster of 8 (another story for another day) which is feeding her head.   I tell you this because as I hung up the phone I realized......she is one of my triggers. As I thought about whether I had any "snack" food available I was pulled up short. I had just had a pretty good snack- I wasn't hungry. This was true emotion eating.   I then spent the next hour figuring out what emotion. Jealous - not if the size 8 - I am heading there; Envy - nope I have been favored child most of my life and my "position" was vacated by choice not from a hostile takeover; Anger - maybe somewhat - I really want my treadmill. Finally I figured it out. I don't even know if it is an emotion....it's the fact I was taken advantage of and used.   I am a giver by nature. It's what I do. I help. When I finally ask for help from someone in my life I get shot down. I was hurt, felt used and frustrated. Maybe that is the emotion...frustration. Nothing I can do about it and I pay the price.   I didn't eat... I am 2 days into pre-op diet - no way was I going to lose that. Instead I advised my sister I didn't need her help.   My amazing husband along with my will we got it in ourselves (no injuries no damage). We have just plugged it in and guess what.....I'm running tomorrow!   Further more I am now more aware that frustrated eating (stress possibly ) is an eating trigger. Good thing I got that treadmill!!!

abbygirl

abbygirl

 

Two weeks start tomorrow.

Two week pre-op diet starts tomorrow. This is my last day of eat what I want and what a way to celebrate.....birthday cake! Not mine but a staff member. It isn't her bday till Friday but they moved the cake to today so I could have some. Love that group! They are all doing the low carb diet with me too....everyone of them! Such support- I never imagined they be my biggest supporters in this trip.   My preop diet is low carb high protein. Very similar to the Atkins diet ( which incidentally killed the Krispy Kreme revolution). Lots of protein, no fruit, healthy fat and almost no carbs (40 grams). Do you know how much 40 grams of carbs are? One slice of the non wheat bread I eat....or as my husband calls it "that twigs and sticks bread".   Don't you just know it though as soon as the 2 week counter starts I get all these social invites! Yep dinners, bbq's, football games (Canadian football is a summer thing!)' picnics and bdays. As I am not ready to share my surgery with the world yet I will now become "that girl" who is on some weird diet. Thank God our warped society accepts women on fad diets ( I don't think the same can be said of men - sorry fellas).   So I've loaded up with lean meat, cheeses of every shape and taste, along with the dreaded skim milk. I have also bought breath mints, breath spray, and Metamucil - for the reported side effects of this diet. Maybe that was what killed Krispy Kreme...the bad breath of all the people on Atkins diet coming in and cheating with a donut....think about it........

abbygirl

abbygirl

 

Back From Vacay....Now the trip begins

Hawaii was amazing. Sun, sand, surf and great friends. Lots of pictures. These will be my last summer pics being the current pre-op me. So my "before" photos will have a nice landscape! Actually it was a very informative vacation as I went with my friend who had the surgery over a year ago. We were able to honestly talk about the ups and downs of the road she has travelled as well as what to expect. It also allowed my hubby a chance to talk with hers to see how we felt...typical guy talk over beers right! But what I really enjoyed was being able to see how she lives now with the weight gone. I watched her eat off the kids meno or the appetizer menu. She still had treats - she admits she gained on the trip but was right back on track after. That's what we are supposed to do....enjoy in moderation.   I start my pre-op diet next Thursday which means I'm just over 3 weeks away from this. Ironically my diet and nutrition appointment is the week after when I see my surgeon so I was feeling a bit lost however that same wonderful friend is pulling her stuff and sending it to me- I love that girl!   So this weekend I am having my last BBQ for a while with all e trimmings. I am going to celebrate my up coming last "diet" (when did you ever think you would say that). I am going to revel in where I've been, where I am, and where I am going!   Stay tuned.....the grumbling you hear will be my stomach!

abbygirl

abbygirl

 

Last "fat" Shopping Trip

I am going to Hawaii next week . I am packing my "fat" clothes for their last vacation (hope they enjoy themselves). In go the shorts, the tanks, the camis, the maxis....then my husband stops me. "Are you taking that nightie?" - not because he doesn't like it but because we are traveling with another family and sharing a condo. Needless to say the sleeping garment is not PG!   So today in addition to going for a pedi I am also going to my favorite Plus size store to bring my sleeping options in line with Disney standards.   This could possibly be my last trip there to pay for clothing at top prices because of it being plus size. Seems somewhat anti-climatic having the last item I buy be PJ's. Considering the relationship I have had with this store is longer than the one I have with my dear husband - shouldn't this break up be BIGGER. Shouldn't there be some shouting and throwing of vases or something? Nope just going to slip in, find something "appropriate" (husbands word) and slip out. No tears, no yelling, no crying.   The is the first of lasts.   Good news is it is my bday month so I get 20% off! Bad news is how will they be able to pay the rent as I am no longer shopping there.

abbygirl

abbygirl

 

No Regrets!

I lost my uncle today. He had been battling cancer and though we knew he was terminal you can never fully prepare yourself. It started me thinking about my own mortality. I am about to willingly endure a major operation with risks - no matter how slim they are there are still risks.   A friend, who is part of my group of people that I have told about this operation, called me yesterday. It had been a while since we last talked and she asked me if I was still going through with "it" (giving the surgery a similar intonation we usually only reserve for the word cancer). Today after hearing about my uncle I thought of the question again. I also wondered if my uncle had any major regrets. I mean I am sure we all have regrets when this situation happens but I mean a big regret...one maybe influenced by others comments. I wanted to call my girlfriend back and reaffirm my YES bigger and louder than before.   I wasn't really close to my uncle but his passing today allowed me to put to rest in my mind the one last doubt about the surgery. Rest in peace Uncle P and thank you for the assistance to eliminate regrets!   No regrets!

abbygirl

abbygirl

 

Yep..need to document this....

Yep need to start documenting this before I forget everything. Not to say I won't have the visual reminders to help me remember where I started (pictures, clothes, bum imprint on the couch) but it is the other things that fade with time that do not have a physical reminder. The worry about the what ifs and can I , the concern about what will happen and what won't happen.   Right now my biggest concern is not the surgery. Considering, in 6 weeks they are removing a significant portion of my stomach you would think that is the worry. But nope I have blown right through that like an out of control 3 year old in the toy department at Christmas. I have even moved beyond the thought of recovery pain and the "possible" side effects it will bring. Nope I am already into....what if it doesn't work - which of course turns into it doesn't look like its working in after surgery thought (always wanted to be ahead of the class even in grade school...skipped right past glue eating to advanced macaroni art).   Yep that is where I am at. I see pictures, read forums and absorb before and after pictures like a teenage boy absorbs girlie mags....but still I have that voice (to be named later) in my head saying what if it doesn't work. What if you go through all of this just to lose it and then gain? That doesn't mean I don't want to do it. I'm funny that way I still want to try it however unlike the tattoo I "tried" this can not be covered with clothes. Once people know they will start to judge and comment (you haven't lost much, was it REALLY worth it, or my favorite you looked better before).   Nope this change will be out there for all to see, judge and comment about...which brings me to my issue...what if it doesn't work.....my head says it will but my inner skinny person who is really shy questions me.   Maybe I should be worrying about excess skin and whether because of it my "hidden" tattoo will be even harder to find in its wrinkles .....

abbygirl

abbygirl

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