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My sad past...my promising future!

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In my 5th week...roller-coaster ride of my life!

This has been the hardest 5 weeks of my life. I am not one of those lucky ones who recover and get onto their protein, vitamins, and water plans and head right into their new lives. I'm still stuck at recovery. Some days I can't eat or drink. Some days I can only drink. Some days I can do both. I can't get vitamins in without throwing up (the swallowing part is not an issue...just my tummy hates them). Acid reflux - something I happily didn't have prior to the surgery is KILLING me. Sometimes the medication will keep it calm...sometimes not. I didn't sleep last night from it I'm under 400 calories a day, so my weight-loss is probably not going as fast as it could, and I expect a HUGE stall coming my way.   BUT!!!!!!! Not all negativity... I have lost 35.5 pounds in 39 days....Never, ever could have dreamed of this happening before the surgery. My clothes are looser (but still wearing the same clothes, but able to add in some that were shoved to the side of my closet in the "too small" section). I can bend over and stand up easily. Washing after number 2, has now become easy - no need for "go-go-gadget arms" (embarrassing as heck to say this, but it's true)...seeing a bit of collar-bone peep through..... when I lay on my side, I feel my tummy dip down and I almost feel thin LOL - stupid I know, but I like feeling the dip at my waist.   My major issue is the exhaustion. I'm so tired all the time. Of COURSE I know why...but, I still feel sad when my kids ask my to play with them, and I feel the need to hide.... My poor, poor kids. Anyhow - I'm doing this for them...so i just keep telling myself that in a couple of more weeks I'll be stronger and healthier, and then they will be rewarded with a fantastic mom. Let's hope!!!!!!   I update myself on everyone's questions and blogs multiple times a day from my mobile...it keeps me motivated to be strong. For some reason I'm not able to comment or "like" anyone's postings from my iphone App (maybe something weird from this country)...but I'm so happy for you all being there and writing everything honestly. Seriously, seriously would feel soooooo alone if it wasn't for this forum!
Aisha902

Aisha902

2
 

Surgery done...Day 12!

Hello everyone! Wow - it has been quite the eventful past almost 2 weeks. This blog is dedicated to those who are pre-op Everyone is different, but I hope if I give you my story, it will help some of you to be a little more prepared for what you're about to undergo!   1st, I did my surgery in Egypt - so far away from most of you...but the surgery is the same, albeit the administration a bit different...   Soooo....(drum-roll!) I started my surgery at approximately 253.9 lbs. May be a bit less than that, but I was too nervous to go wandering around trying to find a scale! The operation was last Sunday... Everything was smooth in the operation - they knocked me out peacefully and happily and although the operation was only 45 minutes in total, I was out for around 5 hours. The torture happened the minute I was being transferred to my hospital room. I was screaming in pain (still out of it from the anesthetic), and vomited blood 4-5 times. Warning!!! For those of you who have sensitive stomachs to medicine, especially hard-core medicine like Morphine, be ready to have to make a tough decision....you will be in an incredible amount of pain..and will NEED strong pain-killers...but if you tend to throw-up fairly easily, taking those strong pain-killers may mean that you end up in even more pain. Throwing up after a gastric-sleeve operation, as you can imagine, is not fun. The doctors had to torture me with medium-strength pain-killers to avoid my throwing up to prevent further bleeding. OUCH! I was quite embarrassed of myself - I was in so much pain over these 2 days in the hospital that I created quite a scene. I don't remember most of it, but I remember getting the nurses and doctors all flustered with my carrying on. Oh well, not much I can do now The actual surgical pain - is more than manageable. Hopefully (touch wood) all of you will be just fine with that. I had two issues - 1) the gas issue - this pain was ridiculous. You have this constant feeling of just wanting to "deflate" and the pain that goes with it is indescribable....but, par for the course. It took me 6 days to "deflate" enough that I wasn't walking around looking 7 mos. pregnant and the pain was mostly gone. 2) the drainage site - you will have a drain for 2(ish) days. This is extremely painful and unfortunately I had developed cysts internally around the incision of the drain, and this was also an incredible amount of pain. I couldn't sit, lay down, stand from pain. When I went back for my 7 day post-op appointment, I yelped enough that they gave me an ultra-sound and CT scan and found multiple cysts formed in this area. A 5-day course of anitbiotics/anti-inflammatory cured this - I am now feeling almost normal.   Writing this, I feel like I was such a baby...but I've delivered normally 3 babies (2 without an epidural, so I KNOW pain), and I was up and changing the babies the same night and taking my mom on a tour of my area the day after..in pain yes...but I was proud of my pain theshold. In my opinion, that means that this is one seriously painful operation (but hopefully none of you will develop the cysts which was the cause of at least 50% of the pain).   So, now - I am now at 236.0 lbs (17.9 lbs less), 12 days post-op. Great!!!!! I am feeling very weak and I feel like I've done 5000 crunches and the incision areas are drying and itching like crazy, but I feel great compared to just a few days ago. I'm back home and back at work. It's hard figuring out how much I can drink before I'm full - the feeling of fullness doesn't exist in me yet - but when the juice starts bubbling back up (a weird feeling), I stop drinking for 10-15 minutes or so. POPSICLES rock!!!!!! I feel SOOOOOO much better after munching on a popsicle.. I've started putting all my juices in the freezer. It makes me feel like I'm eating, but it does nothing but soothes my aching tummy. Stock up on popsicles!!!   I'm still on a full liquid diet - soups, jello, juices, and popsicles Working my way up to the thicker soups, protein shakes and will transition into mushed food. My tummy/esophagus controls me on this issue...I get a really yucky uncomfortable feeling and it lasts quite some time when I try eating something I'm not ready for yet....   ohhhh - one thing I had read up on before I went for surgery.... My doc requested my husband crush all of my meds. YUCK! When I was a kid, my mom had to chase me around with the medicine syrup...imagine how I was with crushed tablets? Super yuck! So, after suffering for around 5 days, I googled around on the internet and finally broke the tablets in half and swallowed those as normal. No issues whatsoever. Now I can swallow them whole (probably could the whole time, but I was being careful).   So guys - there you have it. If you have any questions, I'm happy to answer!!!   Looking forward to the days to come!
Aisha902

Aisha902

5
 

A new beginning....it's about time!

115 Kgs.... wow...really? Maybe 6 real diet attempts per year..multiply that by let's say....the last 20 years (I'm 37)...that is a lot of FAILED attempts....and what do I have to show for it? 115 kgs....and absolutely NO photos. I actually physically tackle anyone who tries to take a photo. My poor 4 year old and 5 year old already know the golden rule..... NO PHOTOS OF MAMA!!!!!   There are so many reasons why I want/need to lose weight...but..my sons are the biggest reason. Need to make them the happiest kids ever...AND need stay alive to see my grandchildren!!!! Ok, so it would also make me happy to sit comfortably on the airplane and not struggle to do up the seatbelt. It would be nice not to eye the chair before I sit to be sure of its' strength. It would be nice not to hear "fat" in every sentence - even if it's not being said. My reasons are endless.   With my husband's amazing support (he told me he's supporting me, but he doesn't care if I do it or not - he loves me for me), I will be getting "sleeved" on June 16th in Egypt. I am the most excited person ever - so excited, that even though my doctor didn't instruct me to go on the pre-op diet, I'm doing it anyway. Couldn't hurt right? Anything to help the good doc out on the operating table!   I am going to try and blog consistently throughout this process (my first blog EVER!) because I know how important they are - I have spent hours and hours viewing endless blogs and youtube videos. Needed the encouragement....and the not-so-encouraging ones, I learned from.   Wish me luck everyone, and I wish all of you the best of luck as well. No one understands more than we do how much we need this. For those of you who made a success story out of this....you are my idols!   Ma salama.
Aisha902

Aisha902

5
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