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Adventures in weight loss

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And it begins

After 7.5 months of classes, appointments, procedures and WAITING it's finally here! I started the liquid diet yesterday. So far so good; only a little hungry twice in the day. I reread all the materials to get more mentally 'in the game' and pre-made my breakfast and lunch for today again. I'm feeling positive and strong.   Of course there was a big celebration in the teacher's lounge this morning with every kind of awesome food ever created - on this, my second day of the liquid diet. I didn't go in. I'll eat lunch in my room to avoid it. Why tempt myself? Why torture myself? Just walk away.   June 4 surgery day is 13 days away and I'm beginning to wonder what I'll feel like post-op. I've read lots of blogs and materials about possible recovery processes. Just hoping that I have less nausea than some have had in the past.   My four boys and husband have been great, but now they are 'getting it' that their world will be changing as well since I'm the only cook in the house. My 13 year old asked me 'but what am I going to eat?' I smiled sweetly and told him he'd have to make himself a sandwich. OH THE HORROR!   Going shopping today for more protein powder. Still haven't found one that I like, but is that even realistic to think I'll find a powder that is palatable.   Basically, I'm just pumped up that I've really STARTED the journey towards being healthier. Now to post my pre-op pictures! UGH!
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

6
 

One week post-sleeve op. - hmmmmmm

Well it's been quite a week. I developed some complications post-op (critically low hemoglobins and a spiked fever) so I had to have 2 units of blood and stay an extra two days. I've been home 4 days now and still feeling cruddy, but today I get to take in more protein/calories, so maybe that will help. Everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) tastes awful. The liquid or chewable vitamins and meds - UGH! Broth - no thanks. Jello - gross. I'm also having the 'runs' which is depleting me more.   So a woman in our post-op diet class this morning asked if we'd do it again. NO, I would not do this to my body had I known I would feel this way. However, I do know that everyone who's had the surgery says that's normal to feel this way and I'll change my mind once I start feeling back to myself. I'm usually a very optimistic person, but I don't see an end to the cold sweats/shivering/aching all over/crappy feeling - not to mention my belly pain. My husband says it looks vombiefied - freaks the boys out, which is fun.   I see the doctor tomorrow. Maybe I'll hear that I'm doing 'well' and progressing 'normally.' Maybe he'll put me back into the hospital. I really don't know at this point.   What the hell was I thinking!   I won't attach the picture of my belly (even though I'm very tempted) because I know it's horrific and might freak some people out.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

5
 

11 days post-op

Woke up this morning actually feeling a bit more like myself. HOORAY! The light at the end of the tunnel has appeared. Only taking tylenol for the pain/fevers now.   Had a hard day/night last night, very depressed and hungry, but still on the liquid only diet so there's very little I can put into that new stomach.   Really looking forward to Tuesday when I get to eat eggs, refried beans, cottage cheese, etc. Yippee!   So the doctor did admit that a blood vessel burst in my abdomen during surgery which has caused the crazy bruising and the low hemoglobin problem. Things happen, but somehow I felt better that he explained WHY they happened.   The the most positive thing is that my husband can tell I'm losing weight. Of course the scale says it, but when I look in the mirror, I DON'T SEE IT. There's still so much swelling in my belly that I feel bigger. UGH!   My boys have been super supportive. I'm feeling guilty that tomorrow is Father's Day and I don't have much planned for the most wonderful Dad in the world. I'm so blessed to be his wife.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

4
 

protein, protein and more protein

I'm into week 3 and I'm 21 lbs down since surgery 40 since my heaviest. Eating less than 1/4 of a cup of food at meals, which doesn't amount to many calories, so still struggling with fatigue. BUT - I am walking a mile now in my 30 minutes of required daily walking. (PITIFUL, I know, since I used to jog 3 miles in 45 minutes.)   So I called the nurse to ask when I can swallow pills again and found out I have 3 more weeks of the nasty liquid/chewable crap. She shared with me that I really HAVE to get the 60 grams of protein in a day OR ELSE my hair will start falling out. So now I'm serious. Back to the gross protein drinks.   Thinking about going to Goodwill to find some shorts since mine are about to fall off. HOORAY!   My belly STILL looks like a train wreck, but oh well, I'll not be wearing a bikini anytime soon.   And I think I might have found a shoulder under all my vanishing fat!   Looking forward to finding a WAIST eventually.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

4
 

One week away! 6 lbs down

Thanks to everyone for their kind words and encouragement. I've lost 6 lbs on the liquid diet and I'm still 7 days away from surgery. I made it through the graduation and party without 'cheating' but it was the leftovers yesterday when it was just my immediate family that did me in - a snuck a bit of walking taco, potato salad and of course cake. AND it showed on the scale today! I'm forgiving myself and starting new today. It's surprisingly hard to get 1200 calories in a day with just liquid. I'm thrilled with myself, honestly, who knew I actually had WILL POWER! My family was feeling sorry for me, but I don't feel sorry for myself at all - I'm just so darn excited about the new me that is taking over! This time next week I'll be done with surgery and hopefully out of recovery, in my room (NOT dry-heaving) and looking forward to my new life as a healthy person.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

3
 

Scale says one thing, clothes say another

I didn't believe the dr. and nurses when they said I might not see the scale numbers falling at some point, but my clothes will tell me I'm still losing. Well it's happening. I'm not losing the lbs like I was, but I'm down in size. I've lost 77 lbs so far and in a size 12, from a 24! I'm shopping in 'regular' sized stores for the first time in 15+ years. It's a sense of freedom that I am relishing.   I'm running 3.9 miles 5 days a week, but I know I need to start weight training, squats, abs, etc. Running is an escape for me, mindless, I listen to my audio-book and enjoy the beautiful weather. But as they say - "winter is coming!" So I'll need to make a plan for my exercise routine soon.   After my birthday week-end of splurging a bit and rediscovering my taste for SUGAR, I'm noticing that I'm 'craving' sugar again. So I think I'm going to go cold turkey off of anything sweet to lose my taste for it again. I know myself well enough to understand that a little turns into too much all too quickly.   Feeling excited about see family at Thanksgiving who haven't seen me since before the surgery.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

3
 

4 days until the BIG one.

I'm down 8.2 lbs on my 11th day of the liquid diet. I'm actually feeling the loss in my clothes, which just makes me more excited and pumped up to have the surgery and get even MORE off. I had my pre-op app. with my gp and she's 'signed off' so there's no stopping me now. I'm understanding that need to chew issue that I read about. But the V8 satiates my need for salt pretty well (I would HOPE 920 mg of sodium would do the trick!)   Right now I'm feeling absurdly narcissistic and completely wrapped up in ME ME ME. I feel a bit badly about this, but I think I'm feeling weirdly about it because I never have thought about ME in the past; it's always been about my husband or kids or parents or students or anybody EXCEPT me. I've neglected myself and it shows in my excessive weight.   I feel differently already and wonder if people can SEE the change in me.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

3
 

Diabetes GONE!

The nurse just called to tell me my labs yesterday look great and my diabetes is GONE! My blood pressure is down to 102/62 - amazing and the MS is still at bay. I feel so good and I'm still 56 lbs from my goal.   I'm back at school and my colleagues have been wonderfully supportive and kind with their reactions to my deflated self. Had a few people not recognize me, so that's fun. The kids are so cute, they look at me with a bit of shock, but don't say anything, obviously struggling with what's appropriate in the situation. I love my job!   Shopping is getting easier too. I was so excited yesterday to be able to shop in the 'regular' sized area and get XL (instead of my usual 3X) tops. Freedom!   It's been blazing hot in Iowa for the last 10 days so I've been running on the treadmill, which I've named 'the evil one.' I LOVE my trail jogs in nature, but the evil one has pushed me to go faster and further, so that's something at least. Wondering if I should sign up for a 5K run in the area since I'm doing 3.5 miles easily now. I don't have a group that I'd be able to run with, so I'm leaning towards . . . not yet.   Dear husband has been so wonderful, making me feel desirable again and so powerful. I love that man. I couldn't have done any of this without him.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

3
 

I am woman, hear me ROAR!

I jogged for the first time today since last Sept. It felt SO good. It was immensely easier without the extra 50 lbs and I was hardly out of breathe. I feel so strong and powerful. I jogged 2 miles without stopping then walked the rest of the half mile home to cool down. Dear Husband bought the XBox work out program for me and it was fun to 'play' last night - especially with the boys cheering me on. I'm going to work on these flabby abs and arms and also try yoga to get more flexible. (Was a gymnast in another lifetime ions ago.) My legs are looking awesome and my husband is all about my 'new' body!   I'm down 31 since surgery, 50 since heaviest, only 2 lbs away from a huge, exciting mile stone - 200! I can't wait to be less than that tormenting number. I can't remember the last time I was below 200.   Going to a get-together with work friends in two days. They haven't seen me yet, so a bit nervous/excited. Don't have a clue what I'll wear. I want to go shopping, but I'm afraid this flabby belly will keep in a huge size.   I feel so optimistic for my future. My diabetes is basically GONE! The MS is behaving. I'm enjoying exercising again and I'm dealing with the food monster just fine. I'm going to recreate my body into what it should have been all these years. Life is good.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

3
 

IT's HERE, it's here, it's FINALLY here!

Today is my sleeve surgery, and I'm surprisingly NOT too nervous. The doctors and whole staff have done a fabulous job informing me of everything, that I feel confident knowing what is about to happen to me.   I lost 2.5 lbs yesterday. UGH - the 'clean you out stuff' is not fun. But now I'm down 12 lbs since the start of the liquid diet and 20 lbs since I began this journey in Oct. of 2012.   My mom and husband are just wonderful and I feel better about the kids' welfare. Silly mommy needs to step back and take care of herself!   I am proud of myself for sticking with the program and making this HUGE change for ME. I feel better about myself already. Now my only concern is my boobs - their race to my waist is quite apparent and I'm thinking losing weight will only fuel their decent! Hmmmmm . . .   The stupid song "I'm so excited" won't get out of my head, but I guess that's a good thing. I can't wait for the new me to meet me on the other side!
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

2
 

Eating FOOD at last - but not very much!

16 days post op.   I've been eating real food (soft) for 2 days and I'm feeling better, a bit more energy. I'm learning to 'read' my new stomach for the new full feeling. UGH! I'm only able to eat about 1/4 of a cup of food at this point.   Here's what I've had so far: one egg with Franks hot sauce 1/4 of mushed, ripe banana refried, black beans with taco sauce mushed avocado humus canned pears cottage cheese sliced deli ham sugar free Carnation instant good start with skim milk   It's so wonderful to move away from the overly sweet crap. I never knew how much I love savory foods with flavor.   One big disappointment I'm having is that the bathroom situation has not returned to normal yet. Maybe someday - sigh.   I've lost 16 lbs since the surgery - about 1 lb a day. My belly still has some swelling, so I only notice the weight loss in my face, but dear husband says he can tell I'm losing everywhere. I've lost 35 lbs since my heaviest weight. I had my first picture taken yesterday (for the swim pass) and WOW, I can see the difference already. HOORAY!   I've passed the point of feeling "why the hell did I do this!" However, I'm realizing now that food is essential, not just for the yummy taste or comfort, etc. I need food - BUT I can't eat much of is, so I'm sort of frustrated. I also HATE the nasty liquid/chewable meds. JUST PUKEY! I'll be so excited when I get the go ahead to swallow a PILL! I can't imagine the lap-band people never being able to swallow another pill - forever.   This week-end we're traveling down to visit my folks at their lake home. It will be the first time they've seen me, and I'm excited and nervous. They've been nothing but supportive, but . . . parents.   Someone asked me to share the whole, ugly truth of my experience. I'm reticent to do so, because I don't want to scare anyone off, but reality is - **** happens. Soooo . . . my surgeon 'nicked' a blood vessel during surgery and I bled internally. My hemoglobins went critically low and I had to have two units of blood. Then I spiked a high fever and was given strong antibiotics for another day. So I was supposed to stay 2 nights, ended up staying 4 nights and my entire belly looks horrendous. Seriously 'zombified' and swollen. I've had to go into the dr. 2 times to make sure the hemoglobins are returning to normal - they are. I had low grade temps for the first week (with the cold sweats, shiver-shakes, and all.) So happy those are gone now. I would say I passed the 'hell' point on day 11 post op. I'm also so glad I'm doing this during the summer (I'm a teacher) because I really can't imagine going back to work next week. I really don't have the energy level back up to normal.   I'll post a new picture soon. I just hate that my belly is still so huge.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

2
 

Happy 4th of July! Thinking of past and future today. One month post-op

I vividly remember trying to find something patriotic to wear last 4th and being so frustrated that everything was too tight and looked awful. This year I'm wearing a cute red top and black short shorts and feeling good. Next year I hope to be wearing a nice sundress unselfconsciously.   We took a one month progress photo yesterday and compared it to one we took last Feb. when I was at my heaviest. I am awed by the difference. I think it hit me yesterday that this weight loss that I've been obsessing over for YEARS is finally happening.   I saw a friend at the parade who hadn't seen me since a week before the surgery and she was surprised at my loss. Wondering what it will be like going back to school in Aug., 6 weeks from now. Hoping I'll be down another 15 lbs. by then. Still haven't figured out what to tell the students. Losing 40 lbs in 10 weeks isn't exactly 'normal.'   I've developed an odd side effect - seriously dry, itchy skin. No matter how much or what kind of lotion I put on my face, I was awake half the night itching. I'm also concerned that as the fat exits my face, more wrinkles are showing up and making me look OLD! UGH! Well, dear husband doesn't seem to notice or hasn't said anything if he has. Love that man!   Well one month ago today I was being taking from post-op to my room and hating life, wanting to turn back time and change my decision. Today I'm well beyond that point and very happy with my choice to change my body in order to change my life.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

2
 

Half way to goal and 4 sizes down!

I'm 2 and 1/2 months out of surgery and 62 lbs down. I went shopping for the first time a couple of weeks ago and bought size 16's! Last time I went 22's were tight! It made me so happy that one of my big goals is within reach - shopping in 'regular' stores.   I'm jogging 3 miles now and really finding it rewarding and a wonderful excuse to have some "ME" time away from Dear Husband and my 4 boys.   I survived the Iowa State Fair today just fine. I took a bite or two from my favorite things then DH ate the rest. I didn't even feel the desire to eat like I used to - shocked me!   School starts this week, so I'm a bit nervous about seeing everyone again. I've decided to stop explaining my weight loss in terms of 'since surgery' and 'total loss' - I'm just going with total because those first 20 lbs. before the surgery are just as real.   Now what to wear the first day back - hmmm . . . maybe I'll post that pic when I finally decide.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

1
 

First beer! Only 3+/- TBS but it was SO good!

We went to our favorite German bar/restaurant on Sat. night and I enjoyed every moment. I had most of a brat (no bun), a bit of Ayinger beer and POLKA POLKA POLKA! I'm feeling like I'll be able to live a 'normal' life with this new stomach of mine.   Tomorrow I'll be 6 weeks post-op and I've lost 26 lbs from day of surgery, 45 since heaviest. The weight loss is slowing down, but I'm OK with that. I'm walking 2 miles in 40 min now. I'm thinking I need to start some core work because my lower back is killing me every night and I still can't take Allieve! Grrrr!   The dry skin on my face seems to be subsiding since I really focused on getting the 64 oz of water in every day - who knew dehydration would effect your skin so drastically!   Off to the pool with the 'baby' - yes, he's 8 years old, but he'll always be my BABY.   I have no idea why the picture is sideways - and I can't seem to fix it. Sorry.
newmeIowa

newmeIowa

0
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