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New start

October 30, 2007   Well today I am totally starting over. I need to focus on the weight issue. I have gained about 10 pounds and I need to get it off and still loose the weight I need to. I am about 207 pounds right now. I want to be about 160 so I am focusing on loosing about50 pounds. I have the lap band as a tool and I need to use it. I just had the VNS put in this month. They forgot to turn it off and I was being shocked about every two hours for about 8 days. We are seeing a laywer about that. I am suppose to go tommorow and have it activated. I am pissed off at the fact that all of the physicans know that the deivce was on and not one of them called and apoligized or even checked on how I was doing after it was shut off. I am doing the serious diet thin this week to try and shrink my stomach and then next week if my incisons feel better I am going to start to exercise. I will go when I am off and take the twins to school. I am going to try to write in the journal and update everyday that I am off. I will write later.
doubletrouble

doubletrouble

1
 

3-16-06, Thursday

Well tommorow is my37 th birthday :phanvan I am not really upset about that. I am upset at myself. I feel that I am back to my old habbits again. I have to stop it and stop it now. I am not going back to that huge person tha I did not even know. Summer is on the way. I am not that far behinde that I can not catch up. I am not really even hungry when I eat it is purley out of old habits. I am the one who is is control of what I do. Which means that I am the one who is in charge of what I choose to put inside of my mouth. I am embaressed to go back to Stanish for a fill. I feel like I am letting him down. I know that he looks at me when ever I see him. I need to start measuring what I eat and that about what I am putting inside of my mouth. I need to write in this journal everyday. I have goals I have to meet. I need to make a mini goal and try to achieve that first instead of looking at the end goal. I have lost 80 pounds. I could have never done that with out the band. I want to start joggin. Once the weather gets better I am going to try to jog before I go to work. I think that if I really and I mean really watch my diet and can job five days a week that I will start to lose again. When Duane gets up ( he worked midnites) I will go out and get on my treadmil and do crunches on the ball. I just have to remember that I am responsible for me and that is it. If I have to write down everything that I put it my mouth then so be it. I also need to drink drink drink more water. My biggest thing is to go back to the sugar free diet. I was thinking about going on a liquid diet for a week or so to srink my stomach and start all over again. Oh God please please please be with my and help me to get back on the right pathway. Ok enough with the Daisy bashing, I have to give myself credit for what I have already accomplished and give myself a chance to forgive myself and put this in the past and start over new. Ok know that I feel better about tying all of my feeling out I need to put them into to action. DAISY, YOU CAN AND YOU WILL DO THIS GIRL!!!!!:clap2: :clap2: :clap2:
doubletrouble

doubletrouble

1
 

March 20, 2006 Monday

The diet start it out really good and then I blew it later during the night. We went for pizza and I ate a bite of brownie. I also ate as some chips and candy at work. Tommorow is a a new day and I will try harder. My mom and dad watched the twins due to I was suppose to be off but Cathy had me work do I would have 6 days off in a a row. I picked up an overtime shift on Fri. Also I have to go to the hospital tommorow for a f/u for my wrist what a bunch of crap.:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :cool:
doubletrouble

doubletrouble

1
 

May 2, 2006

Well I had my band filled on 4-12 I have not really seen a big difference. However, everyone at work is trying to loose weight so I am kind of on the band wagon. I worked out yest and today. I actually jogged on the treadmil and in front of people today and it was ok. I am weighing in at 223 so i can not bitch I started out at 310 pounds. 87 pounds in 9 months is something to be proud of. I am trying to stick to 800 calories a day and to exercise as much as possible I want to loose 100 pounds by the middle of June if possible even the firts of June. I just need to keep a positive atittude and my mouth shut!   :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :omg: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1:
doubletrouble

doubletrouble

1
 

March 19, 2006 Sunday

Today was better at work. I ate pretty good. I tried to drink all of my water but I have such a hard time with that. People keep sayinf that I look like I am still losing weight but I think that it I am losing inches instead of pounds. I am going to try to keep losing and in April I will call Stanish's office and schedule another fill. It would be better to face him at a standstill instead of gaining a bunch of weight. You cares what he thinks anyway he is only in it for $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. I saw Dr. Wiess about three weeks ago and he said that he hardly recognized me. That made me feel so great. I have to remember how that maked me feel when people coplement me and think of that when I want to eat crap.
doubletrouble

doubletrouble

1
 

March 17, 2006 Friday

Well today is my birthday and I had to work. I had an 11 year old girl that had mengitis. All I did was eat eat eat. Thelma bought me breakfast, sheila bought me lunch (pepes) and Janet bought me a strawberry smoothie. The twins baked me a birthday cake. SO today totally sucked on the diet thing.:faint: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint:
doubletrouble

doubletrouble

1
 

march 20, 2207

Well, I have not been using my journal the way that I need to . I started to have seizures last may. I have every test done to man. Dr. Stanish would not fill my band because everybody blammed the band I did not think that it had anything to actually have anything to do with each other and they did not. I turned 38 on Sat. I am now in the 100 club. I was 195 pounds. Today I plan on going to the health club tonight and I might start the areobics class. I still feel like I am the 300 pound girl and will look like a moose. I need to increase my exersice to get the next forty pounds off. I had my band filled twice this year and I feel that I am at a good restriction. I just need to eat the right foods. Shari has lost alot of weight but she has done it pills i am afraid for her health because she has high blood pressure and the medication that she is one of the worst for stroke and bad things and it scares me. We will be changing to 13 hour shifts at work in may and that will give me one more day off a week. the day that i work the 13 hour i can kiss goodbye for any exersice. oh well i am going to try to write more becasue it gives me more modivation. I have lost 120 pounds and i never could have done that without the band. I am in a 16-18 jeans and a med/large in scrubs and am going to loose the extra weight when it starts to get nice outside and fruits and veg are more available. right now we are having $$ problems and it is to expensive to buy vegs and fruits. will try to write again.   :eek: :!: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
doubletrouble

doubletrouble

1
 

March 18, 2006 Saturday

I worked again today. The diet went much better today. I have not worked out in about a week. Shari is losing weight and looking good. I am wanting to get another fill but I do not want toface Stanish.:omg:
doubletrouble

doubletrouble

1
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