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Blog 21263

A blog by bubbalouieuk

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Yippee

I finally got my funding. I can't believe I got the funding. My letter arrived from the surgeon with a DVD to watch too. So I am on the list. I am so excited. I am thinking of my life after the op and thinking how things will change. I have to see a dietician and a psychiatrist but I dont think that will be a problem. I have been visiting this web site for over two years and watching everyone go through the process and seeing how they have changed. And now it's my turn I know that the friendship and support I get here will help me change my life for the better. Everyone here is so encouraging and supportive and so generous to share their down moments along with the highs. I hope I can do the same and maybe help someone in my position. I have always seen successful people who say "if I can do it anyone can" and thought "oh yeah easy for you to say, youre not me" but who knows maybe it will be me saying that in the future.

October 22, 2009

3

why do I sabotage myself???????????????

Hi It is now five weeks until my appointment with the doctor and my first appointment with the surgeon. At my last doctors appointment he told me I needed to lose 10 kgs before I saw the surgeon and I haven't lost anything. In fact I have gained 2 ks! Why can't I help myself? I am so angry with myself. Now I have to crash diet to try and get some weight off before the end of August. I feel awful. All my joints are aching and my feet have started to swell up every evening. Anyway I am joining the gym today and I have loaded a calorie checker into my itouch so I have all the tools I just need to remember how much I want this and do my best to lose enough weight in the next 5 weeks to convince the surgeon to band me. I am so scared they will say no. But I am also scared I will get banded and fail. Maybe I just need to stop thinking about it too much and get on with my life? Hopefully my next blog will be a bit more positive, sorry. Right, off to the gym :thumbup:

July 25, 2009

5

tough day

Today was a tough day. I went to Covent Garden in London with Marcus and my two daughters. We were shopping for running shoes. Marcus is running the London Marathon at the end of April. Covent Garden is full of food!!! People were eating everywhere. The smells were fantastic. I am on day two of a milk only diet :closedeyes: Then Marcus had a cheese and bacon pasty which smelled like heaven, I had a latte. Later we ended up in the Battersea Pie shop where Marcus had a beef pie and No1 daughter had steak and ale pie and mashed potatoes. No 2 daughter had paella. I had another latte. :thumbdown: I have to get through days like this as they are not going to stop eating just because I have but boy it was hard. I am glad to be home "safe" away from temptation. I miss food though. Will that ever go away????:tt1:

March 6, 2010

5

To Band or not to Band. That is the question.

Hi, this is my first ever blog anywhere so please forgive me if I'm doing it wrong. :wink2: I have been logging on to Lap Band Talk for the last year or so and at the same time going the process of being referred by my doctor to a consultant at the hospital for weight loss surgery. It has taken 18 months to finally get an appointment with a surgeon. I am due to go at the end of August. :thumbup: He will decide if I am a good candidate for surgery and what type of surgery will be best for me. This is also a question I will have to answer for myself. 1. Lap Band 2. Bypass 3. Balloon After reading all the stories on this website the band seems the most successful whilst being the least intrusive. But I am really scared that I will fail so I am seriously considering the stomach bypass. I am so scared that they will refuse me altogether and I am also scared of how much this will change my life. My doctor tells me that 3 major studies have shown that the suicide rate is much higher once you have had weight loss surgery. But everyone on LBT seems so happy. I also have to lose at least 10kgs before the appointment to show that I am willing to help myself and although I really want the op I am struggling to stick to a diet. Maybe that shows I am not really committed? I am so confused. My partner is extremely worried about the surgery but will totally support my decision. I am just fed up with being fat and using food for everything but nutrition. How does that change once you are banded?? Anyway I would love to hear from people going through the same process. How did you decide on the band??? :confused3: I think for now that's my biggest question. All help gratefully accepted.

July 5, 2009

8

Scared of rejection.

Hi Everyone, I have two appointments at the hospital next week, pre band, and I am feeling really positive about it. :cool2: My first fears were that the banding would't work or that I would be ill, or that it would make me miserable but in preparation for the appointments I have been pouring over this website reading every bit of information I can find and really educating myself on what to expect. So now I am really upbeat. I have started going to the gym 4 times a week and have lost 3 kgs BUT now I am scared because I have put so much hope on being banded that I cant imagine how I will feel if I get turned down. My head thinks in terms of "ok so when I have lost weight I will do this, or Oh by that date I should have lost 2 stone" and I am putting everything on hold until after the band. But what if they say no?????? :ohmy: Money is one hurdle because I am expecting it to be a problem. It's not easy to get funding and I don't have any serious medical problems. But then it occured to me "what if they say I can't have it for some other reason?" I dont suppose there are many people on here that have been turned down as I imagine it would be soul destroying to keep hearing of other peoples success. :sad: But I would love to hear from anyone in the UK going through the same process. I am seeing the surgeon on Friday so I promise whatever happens I will return to share the outcome. I have been trying to think of ways I could fund it myself even taking redundancy and getting it done in abroad. But there are so many things in the way. My partner and I have 4 children between us so its not easy to find spare cash and I do feel selfish because its a lot of money to spend when it is physically possible to lose weight just by eating less and exercising more (wow I made it sound so easy then lol). But anyway it's not worth getting in a state about something that hasn't happened yet. So see you all next week. :wink2: Oh and thank you for all your comments they are gratefully received and I love to hear your stories. Stay well xxx

August 22, 2009

2

Pre Op tomorrow!

Well it's finally happening, I have my pre op appointment tomorrow and my band date is the 22nd of March. I think I have to have some blood tests, an ECG and chat about the pre op diet. Then they take photos :thumbup: not looking forward to that! I started the pre op diet on Monday (3 days early) just so I could get used to it and ask any questions on the day. This countdown is so exciting :smile2: I can't wait to start posting my post op blog! I am so positive about it all. Anyway I will let you know how tomorrow goes and hopefully it will help any Uk banders see what sort of stuff you have to do. :tt2:

March 3, 2010

1

Pre op appointment

Ok so it was a bit of an anti climax but still good. I had blood pressure, weight, and MRSA tests done by a lovely nurse called Lorna. She really made me feel comfortable. The I had an ECG and some blood tests. And I was home in an hour! No photos, phew. No dietician, no talk about surgery. I have to say once I saw the surgeon last August it has pretty quick and to the point. No great discussions. I was expecting lots of information and guidence. Thank heavens for LapBandTalk and everyones willingness to share. Without it I think I would have been totally unprepared. I have followed the restricted food diet for 4 days and gained 1.5 lb. I cant dwell on that point because I feel like giving up. I have, hand on heart not eaten anything that wasnt weighed and on the list so how I gained weight I dont know. But I am now switching to the milk only diet for the next 18 days. That has surely got to work????? I am under no illusion that it will be easy but now I have had the pre op I feel like its the final countdown and I have to make the effort. I am so looking forward to life with the band. :thumbup::thumbup::tt2::thumbup::smile2:

March 4, 2010

1

One more sleep.

Twas the night before banding, My bag is packed and I am ready for my early start tomorrow morning. I have to be at the hospital for 7am and I'm told I will be ready to go home by 11am. I am not nervous at all, just excited. It's strange looking forward to surgery. I will hopefully be able to update my blog tomorrow afternoon but maybe I'll be sleeping :waytogo: The only thing I am thinking about is the fact that they will see me naked. I'm sure they have seen it all but it doesn't stop me fretting. Silly I know. :mad: Anyway see you all on the other side. :eek:

March 21, 2010

8

Limbo

I am now 4 weeks and one day post op and feeling like I am in limbo. The initial euphoria of having the band has worn off and so has the pain and restriction. I can eat anything but not the same large portions as before. I am striving to be good, only succeeding if I avoid all temptation. Everyone has gone a little quiet on the web site and I was wondering if that means they are doing well or struggling and not feeling as positive as before. :ohmy: I hope everyone knows we are non judgemental and supportive and here to help each other. :wub: I hope I am not the only person that is finding this tough going. It seems like such a long time till I get a fill and I want to be able to kick start this journey now. The sun is shining and summer is well on the way and I want to get on with it.:frown:

April 20, 2010

5

It's good news week!

Hi Everyone, My first appointment this week was with the Medical Doctor who discharged me into the care of the surgeon. (wished me luck too) :thumbup: The second was with the surgeon today. I had to see a med student first and go through my life history then I saw the surgeon. He explained all the pro's and con's and asked lots of questions. He said I was a good candidtate for the band. He doesn't use a Lap Band but instead prefers a Mid Band which is flexible. He said it has less chance of slipping and errosion and because it is flexible he can make smaller incisions. I have to wait 6 weeks to find out about funding but he has never had anyone refused and he is confident that with my high BMI funding wont be a problem. Then once funding is approved they have to do the surgery within 18 weeks. So all being well I will have a band by the second week in Feb!!!!! :tt2: I am in shock. I really thought I would get turned down and I am so excited. I can't believe the life I have always been striving for is so close. When he said yes the first thing I thought of was "wow I might be able to go Zorbing at last" (its when you get in a giant plastic ball and roll down huge hills. You have to be a certain size to fit in the balls) :w00t: I think I am still waiting for the rejection but a bit of me is starting to believe it may actually happen. I want to say a very big thank you to everyone on this web site that has taken the time to post their stories because it's because of you all that I was able to make an informed decision and also be so informed when speaking to the surgeon. :biggrin: He was interested in the fact that I had taken the time to research the whole gastric surgery thing. He said you don't even have to stay overnight in hospital! The op takes about 20mins and you go home the same day. He does not fill the band until 6 weeks after it is fitted then he usually does 4-6 fills before the weight loss settles down. He said in his private practice he still has to use the Lap Band but the results have been better with the mid band. I need to check this kind of band out because I haven't heard of it before. Apparently it's French. :huh2: Well now I have to carry on at the gym, stick to the healthy eating and wait to hear from the hospital. He said you have to go on a three week very low calorie diet to shrink the liver before surgery. There goes the Christmas blow out! :blushing: So watch this space :thumbup: (I cant wait to put my after photos on :w00t:

August 28, 2009

4

Day 5

Hi everyone, Its day five and I am feeling much better. Not very sore, very little gas pain (only at night really) and ready to get outside. I am stir crazy. I am also a little hungry but trying to ignore it. Not starving but just a rumbling tum. Just a short entry today to let you know I think the blues was a short term thing resulting from all the meds leaving my body and there is light on the other side. The sun is shinning and although I cant sleep on my side yet its all good. Plus the scales said I have lost 5lb this week! :blushing: Hope you are all well and on the road to recovery. Take care :sad:

March 26, 2010

3

day 3 blues

Well Im 3 days post op and I think all the good meds must have all worn off because I feel very low and sorry for myself today. I am usually a very cheerful person but Im bored feeling sore and being scared to do anything in case I dislodge the band or knock my stitches. I turned over in bed and my stitches have bled again. I cant drink enough without getting a tight pain accross my chest and I want a shower! Boo Hoo I sound pathetic. I am not going to write anymore until I can say something good. Dont want to bring eveyone down. Bye for now, Im off for a wallow.

March 25, 2010

6

Banded by the Light.

Well its done and Im home. I came home at 5pm not 11am but that was just delays with my meds really. I had to be awake on the operating table while they prep'ed me which was a bit worrying but it wasnt long before I drifted off. I felt fantastic straight after but once the meds wore off I was just a bit sore. I have to say I am pleasantly surprised how well I feel. I have a bit of gas pain but nothing unbearable and its a bit sore especially when I bend down but I am not taking any pain relief so its all good. I am not hungry, hope that carries on ha ha. The two worst things are the feeling of wanting to cough but being scared to and having to sleep on my back because as soon as I drift of I turn over then wake myself up so not much sleep so far. But on the whole yippee! I cant believe Ive made it to the other side. I have set myself some mini goals but for now I am just concentrating on getting better.

March 23, 2010

5

8 days in!

Hi everyone, Day eight and I am feeling much better. I went yesterday to have my stitched taken off and was so looking forward to a long soak in the bath but they put another lot of stitches on "just to be on the safe side". Thats another week and no bath.:thumbup: I also went for quite a long walk yesterday and it was ok, didn't tire me out so much, which is good. I am a little obsessed over calories and yesterday was the first day I had over 500cals. I am going to try to get 1000cals today. I have been living off WW smooth yogurt (its very runny) and WW soup so both are very low calorie. But I got some Slim Fast yesterday so I am going to have that today and hopefully that will get my calories intake up to the 1000 mark. I am very worried that after all this liquid as soon as we go onto mushies we will put on weight. And I'm still not hungry. Must get off the scales! Is anyone else a slave to them?

March 30, 2010

2

2 weeks and counting!

Hi again, Its now two weeks until my medical doctors appointment and three weeks until I see the surgeon. I have lost nearly three kg and have been going to the gym. I am hoping I can get another 2 kg off before i see them both and that it will be enough. :frown: I had all my blood tests yesterday and fingers crossed the vitamin issue has improved because I was thinking that if my body is already not absorbing vitamins from my food when I am eating healthly then will they let me limit my food intake??? I am still really nervous that I will get a flat no to the surgery and as the appointments get nearer its all I can think about. The what if they say no scenario. How will my life be as I am resting so much of my future on "life after the band". My partner has asked me to marry him and wants to do it next year whether or not I am banded (he doesnt really want me to have it) But I of course only want to do it if I have lost weight. How shallow is that? Well to be truthful I want to marry him whatever but I dont want to have a wedding looking the way I do now. :w00t: Anyway after reading my last blog I was surprised how negative I sounded. I am generally not that bad. It is so nice to be able to write my feelings on this site and know that even if readers dissagree they will know where I am coming from and I take all comments good or bad gratefully. After all they come from people who have been through or are going through the same process. Thank you everyone who takes time to read or comment, your support is very much appreciated. :crying:

August 8, 2009

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