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About this blog

My post-surgical journal

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The inches are melting away!

My surgery was April 17th. I took all my measurements the night before my surgery. I took them again tonight. I've lost a total of 14 inches! That's A LOT in one month! Here's how it looks.   I'm 5' 7".   Forehead 23 5/8 23 5/8 Neck 17 1/4 16 1/2 Chest 46 1/8 44 Breasts 48 1/4 47 1/2 Waist 46 45 1/2 Hips 52 1/4 51 5/8 Bicep-L 16 3/8 14 1/4 Bicep-R 16 15 1/4 Forearm-L 12 11 1/2 Forearm-R 11 1/2 11 5/8 Wrist-L 6 3/4 6 3/4 Wrist-R 6 3/4 6 3/4 Thigh-L 29 1/2 27 1/8 Thigh-R 29 3/4 28 1/8 Calf-L 17 3/4 17 3/8 Calf-R 18 17 5/8 Ankle-L 9 5/8 9 1/4 Ankle-R 9 3/4 9 3/8   I'm going to measure monthly. The results from inches lost will be a bigger victory than the pounds.    
SqueakyWheel&Ethyl

SqueakyWheel&Ethyl

6
 

I just took the shame out of this choice!

I planned this surgery for a year. I dreamed about it for a lot longer than that. So, when my surgery finally got approved and scheduled, I immediately hid it from almost everyone close to me. No one at my office knows I was sleeved. Only my husband, best friend, 2nd Mom (my mom's best friend.... She stands in for my Mom), and one brother (of five siblings). Everyone else knows the "vague truth" story.... A procedure done to remove some of the fat in my liver and "roto-rooting" to discourage more fat build-up in my otherwise compromised liver. Still.... Sort of the truth. So, what's the big deal? Why am I hesitant to just say, "yeah, I got sleeved to lose weight?" Why is there shame around that? Is it because John Q Public who has always been height-weight proportionate is quick to judge it? It's the easy way out, right? More admiration and respect goes to those who lose weight on their own and keep it off. Right? Somehow, this is cheating?   It's cheating to sacrifice 80% of a vital organ for the REST of my LIFE? It's the easy way out to never get to enjoy a big Thanksgiving meal with my family EVER again? I'm taking a short cut by undergoing general anesthesia and getting punctured - not once - but five times in the gut? It's just a vacation for me knowing my hair is going to fall out and I can only hope it grows back?   Right. Still, I feel the social stigma of the shame that goes with. Today, I've been reflecting on this. And this is the peace I'm making with it.   Society says they admire a person who loses weight "on their own." This includes people using appetite suppressants. An appetite suppressant is just a tool to prop them up, but THEY are the ones doing the HARD work. THEY are having to change their eating habits and choices. They couldn't do it without the appetite suppressant. It is a needed tool to accomplish their ultimate goal - lose weight.   The sleeve IS AN APPETITE SUPPRESSANT. The difference is, IT actually WORKS, and works for the long-term FAR FAR FAR better than any prescription drug that is swallowed. And, I'm not adding chemicals to my body. I'm not forgetting to take it, or changing my mind about taking it, or dealing with unpleasant side effects. I have an appetite suppressant THAT REALLY WORKS! And, after the weight comes off, I won't rebound like most people do who "do it themselves" (according to John Q Public).   So, I am thinking that we Sleevers have a responsibility to TEACH others. We have every right to hold our heads up with pride for being COURAGEOUS ENOUGH to make this lifelong commitment to change a lifelong brainwashing about healthy-eating and healthy-living. I refuse to accept any snide remarks from anyone. I will communicate pity to them for their ignorance and lack of evolving. And, I'll certainly offer to enlighten them on how one should think about their health going into the 21st Century.   Sleeving isn't just giving me my life back. It is SAVING my life. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm PROUD of me! I found a RELIABLE tool to use to lose weight. The most reliable tool available.   This is the hardest work I've ever loved!
 

Be Honest With Myself

Day 5 - Sunday, April 21st. I didn't sleep peacefully. Lately, I've been sleeping propped up on several pillows and it still feels foreign. I can't shake this headache. I think it's caffeine-withdrawal, but it could be aggravated by the residual general anesthesia administered during surgery. I have a history of not tolerating anesthesia well over weeks and even months after it was administered. My liver doesn't process toxins as well as the average person. It just takes longer to dissipate. I think I did too much Saturday. I felt like a rock star and wanted to do a lot. Going shopping was probably premature. I woke up Sunday feeling like I was hit by a bus.... Figuratively speaking, only. So, Sunday was much quieter. I SHOULD have napped, but, my mind was constantly going. I take care of my younger sister with severe CP, normally. She lives with me. We finished a 64 day hospitalization just a month before my surgery. I say "we" because I stayed with her. Pneumonia and a host of other life-threatening illnesses almost took her from me, but she recovered. She got her first tracheotomy and came home with a ventilator (life support). I have aides lined up to take care of her during the day and evening for two weeks while I recover from my VS. my husband does night duty. But, yesterday, there was a few hours that my sis and I only had each other to care for us. Not much needed to be done, but I needed to stay awake for her sake, so I never rested like I should have.   Also, I think I hurt myself. I shredded up 1/2 of a slice of (2% milk) cheese and put it in a mug with my hot tomato soup. I'm suspicious that's why I have this continual burning sensation in my sternum even today. I'm doing mostly clear fluids today. I'll do my best to get my protein in, but I'm going to be conservative about everything today. My surgeon changed me from Nexium to Pepcid. I'm not sure that was best for me.   Sunday night, I couldn't relax enough to get comfortable and fall asleep. I finally took an Ultram about midnight, hoping it would help me rest. It did. But today, Monday, I feel very drugged and sluggish. I think I'll put the pain pills away and just ask my husband to massage me till I fall asleep if I have another night like that.   The physical pain is almost completely gone. Just a few tender places on my tummy. I'm looking forward to getting back to work, but I need to get that pain pill out of my system first. I can't think clearly today. I never like feeling drugged or drunk. This, too, shall pass.   Am I sorry I had the surgery? Not at all! These quirks are to be expected and will pass. I'm really looking forward to how much better I will feel by my 52nd birthday in August. I consider April 17th my other birthday and will celebrate it every year.
SqueakyWheel&Ethyl

SqueakyWheel&Ethyl

4
 

My adventure from the day before to Day 4.

Starting this blog with the day before surgery. No food or water after midnight Tuesday, 16th. I took a mild laxative early on the 16th, too, thinking a flush would make this easier on me. I followed hospital instructions. Change the sheets. Check. Shower. Check. Then wash with the hibiclens, avoiding head and genitalia, and using hands only - no wash cloth. Leave on skin for 5 minutes, then rinse. Check. No lotions. Check. No contact with pets. Check.   Surgery Day. i showered using the hibiclens again. I worked 1/2 a day. Surgery was in the afternoon and went like clockwork. I arrived on time, got set up in Pre-op, and was wheeled into OR. My last memory before I fell asleep was the digital clock. 1:59:38. Surgery set for 2 pm. Perfect. I awoke feeling deep ache pain high up on my tummy, just under my breasts and in a very small localized area. I was aware of a couple of other tender places on my tummy, but they didn't bother me like the one high up. I kept saying, "Pain.... nausea. ... Pain... Nausea..." over and over, figuring if I was a nuisance, they'd knock me out again. The fact is, the pain was probably a 7 in a tiny spot. The nausea was about a 3... Hardly there, but I knew it would get worse before it got better and I don't handle nausea with grace. They shot me up with pain and nausea drugs and I stopped mumbling and slept, still aware of the ache, but it wasn't as intense.   I was in my private room by 5 pm... Maybe even 4? I'm not sure. The nurse was all over me wanting to make sure I was comfortable, offering me morphine (I can't take Vicodin, their standard pain-killer issue) and Zofran (nix the Phenergan, too...allergic). I eagerly accepted her offer. Not really nauseous, but aware that it was lurking close by. My voice was cracked from intubation. No sore throat. But my mouth was dried out and I offered $1,000 for ONE ice chip. Nope. IV hydration/nutrition given. NPO until the next morning's upper GI test. My sweet husband wouldn't crater to my begging for just one little ice chip either. He did break down and wet a wash cloth so I could wipe out the inside of my mouth. My Pre-Op Nurse had this same surgery 14 months ago and said her hubby did that for her, so my hubby decided it was ok to cheat that much. He stayed with me all night long making sure no mistakes were made. (We've experienced enough errors in hospitals in the past to KNOW one should NEVER be left alone in a hospital. They need someone to champion them). I slept on my back all night long, which felt weird, since I'm a side sleeper. No-way was I going to roll over on my sore tummy. At 3 am, I stood up and walked to the bathroom - with the nurse, of course, and I peed. First two hurdles done! Walk and Pee!   Day 2. Early morning, whisked off to do the upper GI. This is to check to make sure there are no leaks. They warned me that the barium i was about to swallow tastes really bad. They had a cute little barf bag handy and said, "you might need to throw up, so, take this." I was determined to NOT need to throw up. I told myself, this is going to taste bad. It will only last a few minutes and I can rinse out my mouth. Yeah, I can do this. I'm tough! I had to stand on a pedestal and drink the most Gawd-awful swill known to man while they xrayed it going down my newly designed pipe. I thought breathing through my mouth would make it easier. It made it worse. What did it taste like? The only word I can come up with is BITTER. Not sour, not fragrant. Just BITTER. To the eleventh degree. I was given water, which I gargled with, but hesitated to swallow, since I already had about six big gulps of the swill churning inside me. Nauseous? Yeah. But, I can handle it! No leaks, so I was taken back to my room. As I sat up to stand and get out of my wheelchair, the nausea went BAM! "Give me the bag." I lost that battle. But, it didn't hurt as bad as I feared. My tummy just felt a little sore. And all I did was dry-heave, so it was very brief. Ok! I CAN. handle this! I was given more Zofran and morphine and a BIG cup of soft ice. Ah, heaven! I wasn't interested at all in eating, but the ice was great to melt in my mouth.   A few minutes later, a tray was brought in with chicken broth, orange jello, and decaf tea. The hospital has a nurse that rounds all the weight-loss surgical patients and she sat with me and showed me exactly how much I was to "sip" SLOWLY in a fifteen minute period. Which meant I had to pace myself and be sipping every 5 minutes on something. I actually thought it was fun! (What do I know... I was drunk.)   I tolerated feeding very well, being cautious to not gulp. I did notice that if I swallowed too much too close together, I'd feel a twinge in my sternum that would say, hey, slow down or I'm going to start spasming. I'm learning to pay closer attention to my body and her signals. I've decided to give my body her own identity. Her name is Ethyl. Ethyl has no idea WHY I'm so mean to her.   The second morning was a lot of sipping and napping and walking around the unit. I was discharged and home in my own bed by 2 pm. Exactly 24 hours after surgery started. I like it when everything is done efficiently. I already had a wide variety of clear liquid choices, so I sipped on chicken broth, decaf tea, and sugar-free Popsicles. I walked the length of my house about three times. And napped a lot. I took my Ultram and Zofran pills on time (pain and nausea) because they told me to. "Don't be a hero." OK!   Sleep was interrupted frequently with Ethyl barking at me. Especially when I would try to roll over on my side. I learned to try to sneak side-rolling past her by doing it slowly and with a pillow supporting my tummy. It worked. End of Day 2. 7 lbs gone.   Day 3. Lost another lb. 8 total. At 2 am, I had my last pain and nausea pills. I'm done with them. Back to sleep. I awoke at 7 am, put on my yoga pants, t-shirt and sweater, grabbed the leash and took our dog for a walk around the block, sipping on a bottle of water as we walked. It was 38 degrees outside, so we only did one block and came back in. I started my Full Liquid diet. I had my tea. Missing the caffeine. Throbbing headache. And sinus drainage. Nothing to do with the surgery, yet a welcomed distraction from Ethyl's whining. I made a pitcher full of Double-milk. 1 cup skim milk mixed with 1/3 cup of dry non-fat milk. Double milk = double protein intake. And foods made with it taste richer. I made instant grits with it. They were really creamy and... Well... FUNKY tasting. I'll have to work on that.   I went on a shopping outing with my sister for about an hour, and found my legs feeling wobbly when we got home. i did well, but obviously need to lay low and quiet. I've been active enough today. I was told to go outside on Day 3. Check.   I mixed 1/2 can of Campbell's Cream of Chicken with Herbs with 1/2 can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom With Garlic soups and 3/4 cup of Double milk. Heated it up and poured it into a deep mug. Not only did it taste pretty good, it also tricked Ethyl into thinking I had chewed up a whole meal! I just sipped on it slowly over a couple of hours, intermittently sipping on water, too. Score! Ethyl didn't know the difference! I also had SF vanilla pudding and tomato soup, along with some of a protein drink. Everything was tolerated very well. I just have to be careful to not take in too much, too Fast. If I do, I cramp. And, walking around makes it subside faster. End of Day 3. Another 2 lbs gone. 10 total.   Day 4. Lost another 3 lbs. 13 total. Wow! How can I drop THREE pounds in 10 hours?!? I checked again. Yep! Three pounds! I awoke feeling like I've had a setback. Guess Ethyl didn't like all the activity yesterday. It's noon and I'm still in bed only sipping tea. I need to go make some soup. The caffeine-withdrawal headache isn't as bad today. Time to walk. I feel lousy. Nothing specific. Just weak... Disjointed... And bummed that my adrenaline high is gone. I'm weepy. Broccoli Cheese soup mixed with double milk and heated. Peach tea. I need to cut myself some slack. I'm still on track and the intermittent blues are to be expected. No significant pain. Nausea totally gone. Today will be a Still and Quiet day.
SqueakyWheel&Ethyl

SqueakyWheel&Ethyl

2
 

Baby Steps. A New Life with New Beginnings

Day 6 - Monday, April. 22nd. The weight "falling off" has slowed down. I'm seeing my weight fluctuate back and forth about 2 lbs throughout the day. Typical. My lowest weight daily will be early morning before I have any intake. I think the 3 lbs that fell off in 10 hours a couple of days earlier was a fluke (with my scales). Today, that 3 lbs is definitely gone. I awoke groggy from the pain pill I took Sunday night. I felt buzzed most of the day. I hate that feeling. No more pain pills for the sake of sleep. I used my 4-lb hand-held weights for arm and shoulder exercises/ strengthening. Even five minutes of it while sitting on the sofa is better than nothing. I ate SF Butterscotch pudding for breakfast (made with Double-Milk). The Fruit 2-O peach water has become one of my favorite drinks. So is Snapple Peach tea. I need to make a pitcher of decaf tea sweetened with Stevia. The only ready-to-drink tea I have here has caffeine in it. And, I think it is playing a part in my restlessness at night.   I don't think I drank enough, so I am going to log the volume now. I haven't been journaling my intake. Bad girl. Adding protein grams in my head really isn't accurate enough. Ethyl thinks so, too. (Ethyl is the name I gave my body, since I am listening to her more than ever. I'm learning she has a lot to say. Don't worry... I won't end up with a split personality from this.)   I came up with a great idea last night. I'm looking forward to testing it on the regular diet stage. When I crave a crunchy snack, I'll pour a little Special-K High Protein flakes into a little bowl and eat them. Dry. They taste really good. The protein is needed anyway. And, if I mince them up really good, I'm hoping Ethyl will like them, too! It satisfies the psychological desire to crunch something.   Showering and washing/drying/styling my hair exhausted me. I had to rest for an hour to regain my strength. My protein drink helped pick me up again. Mid-afternoon, I decided to push myself to walk. The more I move, the quicker I can flush out the toxins from anesthesia and those pain pills. So, off we went, the dog and me. Two blocks to the local park. Upon arrival, I sat and rested. I was tired! No! Just two blocks? Before surgery, I'd walk to this park and do 5-8 laps on the jogging path (power walking - not jogging). I hadn't even started the first lap and I had to rest? Okay. Ten minutes later, we were walking the lap. (One lap = 3/8 of a mile.). I had to sit and rest halfway through the lap. Ten minutes later, we resumed. And, this was no power walk. It was a nice leisurely stroll. I'm pacing myself. When the 1st (and last) lap was completed, I had to sit and rest again for 10 minutes. Trying to get enough strength to walk the 2 blocks home... Tempted to call my husband and ask him to come get me. No shame in that. I still made progress! But, I'm determined to finish what I started. So, I finally returned home. An hour had passed and I had walked less than a mile. Ha ha ha! That's ok! This is Baby Steps. I don't expect Ethyl to be able to break my walking record before April 17th. This is a new life. New beginnings. I'm doing just fine.   Still no nap. I should be taking advantage of this time and sleeping more. After two months camped out with my sister in ICU (Jan-Mar), I am still sleep deprived. Hard to turn off my thoughts. I'll work on a good nap tomorrow.   This forum has been so helpful and filled with great advice and tips. Someone told me the burnin' in my sternum was probably tomato soup. Of course! I hadn't considered that! Thank you for the good advice! And, I find I can share my story of my battle with my insurance company to help others, too. That makes me feel good to know I can give back. So, I changed my Display Name here from PBCNasher to SqueakyWheel&Ethyl. We are one and the same, you know.    
SqueakyWheel&Ethyl

SqueakyWheel&Ethyl

1
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