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About this blog

... melting away to a new me.

Entries in this blog

 

8.02.07: anxiety overload

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So I went to the gym last night straight after work, I was excited to get there by 5:30PM because I was going to do the "Zumba" group fitness class, and then the "BodyFlow" class after that. I got there at 5:34PM, walked up to the doors, and saw that everyone was already really going to it... and I got nervous. They were all jumping and moving around so fast, and plus there was SO MANY people in there... I just got nervous and walked away. I let myself NOT do something I really wanted to do because I convinced myself I couldn't do it, and that everyone would laugh at me.   I am so ridiculous. Instead of doing the two classes I had planned to do, I sat in the locker room for a while (and pretended I was tying my shoe any time someone walked in), and then I got on a treadmill and started walking. I didn't go far because I just felt discombobulated. I did a half mile and then left after only being there 20 minutes!   20 minutes is a far cry from the two 1 hour classes I had been planning to attend. :rolleyes   So I was a workout failure. I know I need to just not care what random strangers might think of me... but I just can't!!! When I walk into the gym I am just POSITIVE everyone is thinking, "She's here a few years too late!" I wish I wasn't so worried about what random people might or might not think/say about me. BAH! I just make myself SO ANGRY!!   In an attempt to end this journal rant on a positive note, I will say that I have been sticking to my 500 calorie per day diet like rubber cement. The scale gets lower every day, as does my hubby's blood sugar. :biggrin1:   We are counting down to November 5th. That is the day we can end the 500 calories per day diet and move up to 1,000 calories per day!! After 100 days of this low-cal regimen, I think I will probably actually start to look like I have been losing weight. That is something that excites me. I mean the scale tells me I have lost 18 lbs. in the last four weeks, but I am so overweight that that is not a change that can be easily seen. I am really looking forward to the day when people start to say, "Hey, are you losing weight??"   Until that day, count on me for daily random updates!! _______________________________

staindgal

staindgal

 

7.30.07: keeping it quiet

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So my husband has been put on a 500 calorie a day diet due to his diabetes, and I am matching him day for day to be supportive AND lose the weight I drastically need to lose. Today the thing I always dread when I go on a diet happened...   A friend decided to tell me 500 calories is way too little and it will give me jaundice, kill me, etc... I know they mean well, but c'mon... no it won't.   My father is a doctor, and he knows me pretty well, and he is supportive of the 500 calorie and under diet. It is for 100 days, and then we will both step up to 1000 calories and under. I just cannot handle it when people try to tell me I'm not eating enough... Hello? Have you seen me? Plus it's not even like I'm unfulfilled and hungry all the time either! I feel full, I have my 475 calories today and I feel great!   I guess I just can't talk about what I'm doing with my friends because that will be the reaction I get. In high school I only ate like 200-300 calories a day and none of my friends got in my face... ::   oh well... I'm still going to continue with it.

staindgal

staindgal

 

3.06.08: climbing back on the wagon...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So yesterday I was bad.... REALLY bad. I let temptation for a quick, cheesy, fattening bite rule my actions! :cool2:   I went way over my calorie allowance yesterday by binging at Arby's, and even though I didn't eat as much as I would typically eat on a fast food binge, it is still NOT OKAY! :thumbup:   I got fat eating my feelings through massive fast food consumption... Why would I let fast food get ahold of me again??   I am recognizing my mistake, and fixing the problem TODAY. Something the old me used to do was just say, "Well, since I already slipped yesterday I might as well have that gallon of ice cream tonight." NO MORE! I have to take things one day at a time, and today I am getting back on track so I can look amazing again soon!     FOOD REPORT: March 6, 2008 I ate: vegetable pasta (500) and dry noodles (280) My total calories were: 780 Calorie Debt: 540,085 - (3000-780) = 537,865   March 5, 2008 I ate: grapes (115) and arbys disaster (1910) My total calories were: 2025... EEEK!!! Calorie Debt: 541,060 - (3000-2025) = 540,085   March 4, 2008 I ate: ramen noodle soup (380) My total calories were: 380 Calorie Debt: 543,680- (3000-380) = 541,060 March 3, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 546,680- (3000-0) = 543,680 March 2, 2008 I ate: homefries w/ fruit (260) and tilapia (260) My total calories were: 520 Calorie Debt: 549,160- (3000-520) = 546,680 March 1, 2008 I ate: meaty penne (510) and strawberries (200) My total calories were: 710 Calorie Debt: 551,450 - (3000-710) = 549,160   February 29, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (565) My total calories were: 565 Calorie Debt: 553,885 - (3000-565) = 551,450   February 28, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (355) and chow mein noodles (140) My total calories were: 495 Calorie Debt: 556,390 - (3000-495) = 553,885   February 27, 2008 I ate: chicken w/ sun-dried tomato noodles (580) My total calories were: 580 Calorie Debt: 558,810 - (3000-580) = 556,390 February 26, 2008 I ate: chicken with vegetables (250) My total calories were: 250 Calorie Debt: 561,560 - (3000-250) = 558,810   February 25, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 564,560 - (3000-0) = 561,560   February 24, 2008 I ate: mac 'n cheese w/ spinach and onions (560) My total calories were: 560 Calorie Debt: 567,000 - (3000-560) = 564,560

staindgal

staindgal

 

3.05.08: craving arby melts... UGH!

Dear Plumpy Pad,   HELP ME! I was watching TV today, and I cannot handle the delicious commercials for taco bell, arbys, burger king, pizz hut, etc...   All I want in the world is an arby melt! Only, when I say I want an arby melt, I mean I want 4,000 of them!! This is so horrible! I am so good at making justifications... I don't want to ruin how well I have been doing, but I don't know what to do!! ARGH!!   Here's the food log so far for the day... I'll update later... Updated. As you can see I jumped off the fast food cliff... :thumbup:     FOOD REPORT: March 5, 2008 I ate: grapes (115) and arbys disaster (1910) My total calories were: 2025... EEEK!!! Calorie Debt: 541,060 - (3000-2025) = 540,085   March 4, 2008 I ate: ramen noodle soup (380) My total calories were: 380 Calorie Debt: 543,680- (3000-380) = 541,060 March 3, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 546,680- (3000-0) = 543,680 March 2, 2008 I ate: homefries w/ fruit (260) and tilapia (260) My total calories were: 520 Calorie Debt: 549,160- (3000-520) = 546,680 March 1, 2008 I ate: meaty penne (510) and strawberries (200) My total calories were: 710 Calorie Debt: 551,450 - (3000-710) = 549,160   February 29, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (565) My total calories were: 565 Calorie Debt: 553,885 - (3000-565) = 551,450   February 28, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (355) and chow mein noodles (140) My total calories were: 495 Calorie Debt: 556,390 - (3000-495) = 553,885   February 27, 2008 I ate: chicken w/ sun-dried tomato noodles (580) My total calories were: 580 Calorie Debt: 558,810 - (3000-580) = 556,390 February 26, 2008 I ate: chicken with vegetables (250) My total calories were: 250 Calorie Debt: 561,560 - (3000-250) = 558,810   February 25, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 564,560 - (3000-0) = 561,560   February 24, 2008 I ate: mac 'n cheese w/ spinach and onions (560) My total calories were: 560 Calorie Debt: 567,000 - (3000-560) = 564,560

staindgal

staindgal

 

3.04.08: actually becoming active...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   Last night I began my exercise plan! I went to the pool and swam laps, I had my husband time me to see how long I could swim for... and did laps for 20 minutes! Then I hooked onto the side of the pool and just kicked for another 10 minutes.   My plan is to go swimming 5 days a week, and hopefully build up my stamina so that I am swimming for longer and longer periods of time!   Now this all sounds well and good, but I have a history of making exercise plans that I then quickly abandon due to my excessive laziness... I am demanding that I actually follow through this time!! DEMANDING!! :thumbup:   Only 11 days until I next jump on a scale... I am mega excited to see the progress 2 weeks can make!     FOOD REPORT: March 4, 2008 I ate: ramen noodle soup (380) My total calories were: 380 Calorie Debt: 543,680- (3000-380) = 541,060 March 3, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 546,680- (3000-0) = 543,680 March 2, 2008 I ate: homefries w/ fruit (260) and tilapia (260) My total calories were: 520 Calorie Debt: 549,160- (3000-520) = 546,680 March 1, 2008 I ate: meaty penne (510) and strawberries (200) My total calories were: 710 Calorie Debt: 551,450 - (3000-710) = 549,160   February 29, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (565) My total calories were: 565 Calorie Debt: 553,885 - (3000-565) = 551,450   February 28, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (355) and chow mein noodles (140) My total calories were: 495 Calorie Debt: 556,390 - (3000-495) = 553,885   February 27, 2008 I ate: chicken w/ sun-dried tomato noodles (580) My total calories were: 580 Calorie Debt: 558,810 - (3000-580) = 556,390 February 26, 2008 I ate: chicken with vegetables (250) My total calories were: 250 Calorie Debt: 561,560 - (3000-250) = 558,810   February 25, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 564,560 - (3000-0) = 561,560   February 24, 2008 I ate: mac 'n cheese w/ spinach and onions (560) My total calories were: 560 Calorie Debt: 567,000 - (3000-560) = 564,560

staindgal

staindgal

 

3.03.08: continued success...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So there are several people on here that have lost 100 lbs. in 6 months time with restricted calories and activity... Which means by the end of August I could be down to 215!! That is one of my many goals, and it is actually obtainable!   I have decided to try to curb my scale addiction by having my hubby hide it for a few weeks... I will not weigh in again until March 15th, until then I will just continue my exercise and food intake. I can't wait to see what I weigh then.... I will have definitely entered TWOterville! That I am sure of because on the 2nd I weighed 307... I am SO CLOSE!   Here's to being able to shop in normal stores!   FOOD REPORT: March 3, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 546,680- (3000-0) = 543,680 March 2, 2008 I ate: homefries w/ fruit (260) and tilapia (260) My total calories were: 520 Calorie Debt: 549,160- (3000-520) = 546,680 March 1, 2008 I ate: meaty penne (510) and strawberries (200) My total calories were: 710 Calorie Debt: 551,450 - (3000-710) = 549,160   February 29, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (565) My total calories were: 565 Calorie Debt: 553,885 - (3000-565) = 551,450   February 28, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (355) and chow mein noodles (140) My total calories were: 495 Calorie Debt: 556,390 - (3000-495) = 553,885   February 27, 2008 I ate: chicken w/ sun-dried tomato noodles (580) My total calories were: 580 Calorie Debt: 558,810 - (3000-580) = 556,390 February 26, 2008 I ate: chicken with vegetables (250) My total calories were: 250 Calorie Debt: 561,560 - (3000-250) = 558,810   February 25, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 564,560 - (3000-0) = 561,560   February 24, 2008 I ate: mac 'n cheese w/ spinach and onions (560) My total calories were: 560 Calorie Debt: 567,000 - (3000-560) = 564,560

staindgal

staindgal

 

3.02.08: trying to be domestic...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   Just a thought... When I get my weight down under 250 (only 57 pounds to go!) I'll refer to you as: (Less) Plumpy Pad! :thumbup:   Anyways, this morning I have been productive I got up and made a small, tasty breakfast for me and my hubby. I set the table and everything!! I mean it, placemats and all! I am so impressed with myself because I never cook... My hubby usually does all that!   Here's my food log for the day!     FOOD REPORT: March 2, 2008 I ate: homefries w/ fruit (260) and tilapia (260) My total calories were: 520 Calorie Debt: 549,160- (3000-520) = 546,680 March 1, 2008 I ate: meaty penne (510) and strawberries (200) My total calories were: 710 Calorie Debt: 551,450 - (3000-710) = 549,160   February 29, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (565) My total calories were: 565 Calorie Debt: 553,885 - (3000-565) = 551,450   February 28, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (355) and chow mein noodles (140) My total calories were: 495 Calorie Debt: 556,390 - (3000-495) = 553,885   February 27, 2008 I ate: chicken w/ sun-dried tomato noodles (580) My total calories were: 580 Calorie Debt: 558,810 - (3000-580) = 556,390 February 26, 2008 I ate: chicken with vegetables (250) My total calories were: 250 Calorie Debt: 561,560 - (3000-250) = 558,810   February 25, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 564,560 - (3000-0) = 561,560   February 24, 2008 I ate: mac 'n cheese w/ spinach and onions (560) My total calories were: 560 Calorie Debt: 567,000 - (3000-560) = 564,560

staindgal

staindgal

 

3.01.08: adventures with produce!

Dear Plumpy Pad,   Today we went to the flea market and bought lots of great produce! Strawberries, onions, red peppers, green peppers, roma tomatoes, mushrooms, red potatos, etc... All for $16!! God, I just love the flea market!   FOOD REPORT: March 1, 2008 I ate: meaty penne (510) and strawberries (200) My total calories were: 710 Calorie Debt: 551,450 - (3000-710) = 549,160   February 29, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (565) My total calories were: 565 Calorie Debt: 553,885 - (3000-565) = 551,450   February 28, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (355) and chow mein noodles (140) My total calories were: 495 Calorie Debt: 556,390 - (3000-495) = 553,885   February 27, 2008 I ate: chicken w/ sun-dried tomato noodles (580) My total calories were: 580 Calorie Debt: 558,810 - (3000-580) = 556,390 February 26, 2008 I ate: chicken with vegetables (250) My total calories were: 250 Calorie Debt: 561,560 - (3000-250) = 558,810   February 25, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 564,560 - (3000-0) = 561,560   February 24, 2008 I ate: mac 'n cheese w/ spinach and onions (560) My total calories were: 560 Calorie Debt: 567,000 - (3000-560) = 564,560

staindgal

staindgal

 

3.01.08: planning for the future...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So I aw this in someones signature, and although it is not YET true for me, I am saving it here until I can put it in my own signature!!     As of today, I am only 3 pounds away from being able to say this!!!   I'll edit in my food log later when I eat...

staindgal

staindgal

 

2.29.08: financial and marital STRIFE

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So I am trying to continue the downward momentum... It gets tough when there is so much financial stress. My husband lost his job on Jan. 11th... and it has been nearly 2 months that I have been the lone provider. We're hurting... He needs to find a new job --ANY JOB-- and he needs to do it right now.   He's been on a few inerviews for fast food places, and I feel bad because the idea of my husband working fast food kind of embarasses me. I just don't understand why he didn't plan for his future better when he was young... I guess I harbor a lot of resentments towards him. He's an amazing, kind, and caring man... but he's also lazy and unfocused. I don't know... I just needed to vent.   Here's mdiary for the day:   FOOD REPORT: February 28, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (565) My total calories were: 565 Calorie Debt: 553,885 - (3000-565) = 551,450 February 28, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (355) and chow mein noodles (140) My total calories were: 495 Calorie Debt: 556,390 - (3000-495) = 553,885   February 27, 2008 I ate: chicken w/ sun-dried tomato noodles (580) My total calories were: 580 Calorie Debt: 558,810 - (3000-580) = 556,390 February 26, 2008 I ate: chicken with vegetables (250) My total calories were: 250 Calorie Debt: 561,560 - (3000-250) = 558,810   February 25, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 564,560 - (3000-0) = 561,560   February 24, 2008 I ate: mac 'n cheese w/ spinach and onions (560) My total calories were: 560 Calorie Debt: 567,000 - (3000-560) = 564,560

staindgal

staindgal

 

2.28.08: and the scale DROPPED!

Dear Plumpy Pad,   The scale really went down today! I went from 311.2 yesterday to 309.6 today! Since I started tracking my weight again last Sunday I have lost 5.4lbs!! That's in 4 days time! I know this is just the initial loss of water and gluetin before things regulate and I lose fat deposits on a slower schedule, but still... SO EXCITING!   I am going to STICK WITH IT this time!! I have to, if I don't I am going to die well before my time. Plus I hear it's much easier to get pregnant when you are at a normal weight... I cannot wait to have a baby! My hubby and I are going to be the best parents imaginable!   That's all for now, here's my food log!     FOOD REPORT: February 28, 2008 I ate: penne pasta (355) and chow mein noodles (140) My total calories were: 495 Calorie Debt: 556,390 - (3000-495) = 553,885   February 27, 2008 I ate: chicken w/ sun-dried tomato noodles (580) My total calories were: 580 Calorie Debt: 558,810 - (3000-580) = 556,390   February 26, 2008 I ate: chicken with vegetables (250) My total calories were: 250 Calorie Debt: 561,560 - (3000-250) = 558,810   February 25, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 564,560 - (3000-0) = 561,560   February 24, 2008 I ate: mac 'n cheese w/ spinach and onions (560) My total calories were: 560 Calorie Debt: 567,000 - (3000-560) = 564,560

staindgal

staindgal

 

2.27.08: an addendum

One more thing Plumpy Pad...   I'm going to take a few meaurements to keep track of as well! Might be fun!   Tape measurements for Wednesday, 2/27/07: ............Initial / New / Change Chest: 57.25" / 57.25" / Waist: 56.50" / 56.50" / Hips: 59.25" / 59.25" / Arm: 18.75" / 18.75" / Thigh: 32.50" / 32.50" /

staindgal

staindgal

 

2.27.08: weighing the local fitness options...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   Weight went down again, not as much as I would like... but still, down it went!   I made my meal for the day and feel like I'm going to throw up because I am so stuffed... which is awesome! My stomach must have shrunk because I only ate 1/3 of the portion size I would have eaten two weeks ago!!   In other news, I called around to local fitness centers today to see about costs and such... I think I might like to join Curves, but I'm not certain!   Here's my daily update...     FOOD REPORT: February 27, 2008 I ate: chicken w/ sun-dried tomato noodles (580) My total calories were: 580 Calorie Debt: 558,810 - (3000-580) = 556,390 February 26, 2008 I ate: chicken with vegetables (250) My total calories were: 250 Calorie Debt: 561,560 - (3000-250) = 558,810   February 25, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 564,560 - (3000-0) = 561,560   February 24, 2008 I ate: mac 'n cheese w/ spinach and onions (560) My total calories were: 560 Calorie Debt: 567,000 - (3000-560) = 564,560

staindgal

staindgal

 

2.26.08: food is my drug...

So just to start things off...   FOOD REPORT: February 26, 2008 I ate: chicken with vegetables (250) My total calories were: 250 Calorie Debt: 561,560 - (3000-250) = 558,810   February 25, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 564,560 - (3000-0) = 561,560 February 24, 2008 I ate: mac 'n cheese w/ spinach and onions (560) My total calories were: 560 Calorie Debt: 567,000 - (3000-560) = 564,560 I have had some hunger pains, but nothing ridiculous. I'm actually feeling pretty content (for now) on under 500 calories a day. The only sick thing is that I am already planning what I get to eat tomorrow... Why am I so obsessed with FOOD! :party:   In other news, a few people have jumped on the competition to march through March on the "Road to TWOterville" thread. I'm excited... I love me a good competition!   Time for me to relax ando nothing for a while! Laters!

staindgal

staindgal

 

2.25.08: i should be in a band...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So my weight went down today, which is AWESOME! Everyday I am going to wake up and weigh myself! Then on Sundays I will measure my waist, and every single day I will write down everything I eat so I have a log of EVERY calorie! :party:   In addition to actually watching what I eat, I have found that playing the radio while I am at work is AMAZING! I just type and rock out! It is so much fun! I mean when I have appointments I have to turn it down, but still - SUPER FUN! I should just be the person in a band that thrashes around wildly to the music with absolutely no rhythm!:tt2:   So I am going to blog here everyday to chart what I eat, and my calories. I know 1lb. = 3,500 calories. I know my body burns 3,000 calories a day just by being alive...   FOOD REPORT: February 24, 2008 I ate: mac 'n cheese w/ spinach and onions (560) My total calories were: 560 Calorie Debt: 567,000 - (3000-560) = 564,560   February 25, 2008 I ate: nothing (0) My total calories were: 0 Calorie Debt: 564,560 - (3000-0) = 561,560       Okay, that make me feel better! I have always been into math, so I hope I can calculate myself thin!! See you tomorrow!

staindgal

staindgal

 

2.24.08: so i'm pretty wishy-washy

Dear Plumpy Pad,   Odd little trait I have, huh? I appear with a vengence for a week or so and then BAM! I disappear for months!   I am no longer a vegan, I was successful for 9 weeks before I couldn't stand my cheese cravings anymore... I am still a vegetarian.   You would think that cutting meat out of my life would help pull off some pudge, but no. I am WAY too fond of fats to let anything healthy happen!!   I posted some full body shots of myself wearing my Sunday house-cleaning finest today. I figure I'll put them here too, just so there is no way I can forget what I am trying STOP!     Yes... Yes... I know. My husband is SUCH a lucky man! :party:   I am back on my calorie wagon. I have searched far and wide for as wonderful of a weight loss hub as there is here on the lapband site, but there just isn't one! I am hereto STAY! I swear I am going to give it my all this time!   xoxox, Bridget

staindgal

staindgal

 

12.17.07: odd realizations...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So things are going really well. I am actually drinking the amounts of water you're supposed to drink on a daily basis, and I feel like my body is happy with that! I used to only drink when I was thirsty, and then I was drinking mainly diet soda. I have a feeling I was never really hydrated, seeing as I only peed like once a day... MAYBE twice on a rare occasion.   The other thing I've realized is that it is actually simple to be a vegetarian. When I think back on all the times I tried to be a vegetarian in the past and failed because it was "too hard" I want to slap myself! The vegetarian part is simple... It's the vegan part that is going to be tricky! I have yet to find real vegan cheese, because the soy cheese they sell at the store has niacin (which is apparently milk protein) in it. I am going to have to make decisions soon as to what foods I will accept as vegan, because it seems niacin is in EVERYTHING!   The other thing I am super excited about is my detoxification fast I am going to begin this Wednesday. I will start the fast with 3 full days of only eating raw fruits and vege's along with fresh pressed juices (I borrowed mom's juicer!). Then on Saturday I begin the water fast, where I will consume nothing but water for 10 full days. This is supposed to give my body a rest from digesting foods so it can focus on digesting damaged, diseased, or extra cells... The super cool part of this is that the final day of the water fast is on December 31st! This means I begin the new year fresh... LITERALLY! After the 10 day water fast is complete, I'll do 3 days of juice fasting followed by 3 days of raw foods and juice to get my stomach used to food again. I am very excited, because I am doing it for the right reasons... The weight loss will just be an extra bonus!!   Anyways... I'll keep you posted on my progress.

staindgal

staindgal

 

12.16.07: holy cow, where did i go?

Dear Plumpy Pad,   It's been over 4 months since my last confession, and let me set things straight right up front: I went on vacation in August and I quit watching what I ate. I am SHOCKED that I am only up 4lbs. from where I was back then!   In other updates, I am now a vegan. I am very passionate about animals, and the animal cruelty committed daily on factory farms makes me sick. I have a lot of strong opinions and views... and decided to take the leap from vegetarian to vegan. It's definitely an added bonus for weight loss that cheese and dairy are no longer welcome in my tummy!   I hope I don't lose touch with you again Plumpy Pad!!  

staindgal

staindgal

 

8.06.07: making small goals

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So I have made it my mission to weight 290 lbs. by November 5th. That's a goal to lose juse under 25 lbs. in 3 months... AT LEAST!   I'm doing well, especially since today is a work day!! There is so much to keep myself busy with... especially since I only have a 3 day work week and then go on VACATION!!! God I can't wait. I don't feel like I am all that stressed out at work, but I know not working will make me that much LESS stressed!!   Anyways, I'm done with my 15 minute break! Back to work!!

staindgal

staindgal

 

8.04.07: no boston cream donuts...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   It is definitely much harder to abide by my diet on the weekends. I'm just sitting at home, watching TV, and I feel like the only thing that could break the monotony of the day is cooking.... WHICH IS WRONG!!   During the week I am so busy at work that I don't even have a chance to think I'm hungry! All I have is lonely time here... My hubby is off at work, it is like 1000 degrees outside, and my fridge (though admirably near empty) keeps beckoning to me with promises of cheese and onion bagels!   Oh woe is me! :Cry:   At least there are only 92 days left of this hell... 92.     Someone eat a boston cream donut in my honor... PLEASE!! OK, BYE!

staindgal

staindgal

 

8.03.07: and her mistake was...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So I had some idle time tonight, and I allowed that idle time to lead me into an area I should not have strayed into. No, I did not blow my calorie count... but I think I made the next 93 days extra hellish!!   You see, I was thinking about places like McDonald's and Wendy's. Even Olive Garden and Outback... I allowed myself to come online and look up the nutritional values on several of my favorite meals at each place. This is a horrible idea, and thank God I can swear to myself that I won't go near an actual restaurant, because I know even if I told myself I would allot 420 of the day's calories to an order of fries, that would only "wet my whistle." I would recreate the food binging monster that is me, and God knows I can't do that!!   Blah. Idle time is the hardest to try to fill without food. I have always filled the bored voids in my life with empty calories, what will I do now?   I guess I'll catch up on my soaps... Hey, it's better than calling Papa Johns!!

staindgal

staindgal

 

8.01.07: pretty uplifting

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So I went to the gym last night. I speedwalked a little over a mile, and then peddled on a stationary bike until my husband said he was ready to leave. It felt good to get out there... However my gym did the most evil thing while we were there... They put out a HUGE SPREAD of free food! We both abstained... but what kind of gym puts out a huge buffet of fried shrimp, chicken wings, sandwiches, jalopino poppers, etc... to celebrate their 25th anniversary! It was EVIL I tell you!   Anyway, we went home, took showers, and then headed out to meet some friends to see The Simpson's Movie. It was super funny, I must have laughed enough to burn a million calories!!! I thought it would be really hard to go to the movies and not eat popcorn/candy/non-diet soda... but it wasn't!! We saw a great movie, and consumed zero calories - life is going pretty good!!   PLUS - I have joined the "August Challenge" to enter TWOterville during the month. That's right, my goal is to lose 20 lbs in one month and make it to 299. Crazy? Yes. Realistic? No. Trying like hell to actually make it? Your damn skippy I am.   Anyway, that's all for now! Peace!

staindgal

staindgal

 

7.31.07: done with food for the day...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   Note to self: I should put off eating until I am actually hungry.   I got to come home early from work today, and so the first thing I did was eat... but I ate my entire 500 calorie limit in one meal at 3:00PM... I'm sure that was a bad idea... I bet I'll have to eat something for breakfast tomorrow to hold me through until dinner tomorrow night!   Now avoiding that "eating to have something to do" feeling is going to be even tougher than usual. Oh bother.   On a good note, I am 319 pounds. I cannot wait to get in the 200's again. I remember when one time I got up to 198 and I was disgusted with myself. I promised I would never go that high again after I got back down to 150. Now here I am 7-8 years later, and I am TRYING to get into the 200's on my way down the scale.   Life's crazy.   I think I'm going to go to the gym for a bit.   Laters!!

staindgal

staindgal

 

7.29.07: and then it was 12 pounds...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So sorry I have not been keeping up with this, but as you may have guessed, I had quit keeping up with this because I had quit keeping up with me. I turned a blind eye to the scale for a few weeks there... and although I was eating better than I used to, I was eating too much... again.   I am back on the wagon again, and I think I will be on the wagon permanently now because of a recent event that has hit in my own backyard. My husbahd was diagnosed with diabetes this past Friday (the kind you get from being fat), and now he is on a 500 calorie (or under) per day diet to try to keep himself from having to go on insulin shots. It's been a real awakening learning about all the long term effects of this disease, and how getting excess weight off immediately is now job one. I am doing the diet with him, and the fact that he has to do it because of an actual life or death situation makes it easier for me to know that I can't cheat either.   Since I first weighed in 3 weeks ago I am down 12 pounds, and I have a long way to go. I'm up for the challenge, and I know that this is the race of my life. Hopefully in a year I will look back on this journal entry as a much healthier, and much more attractive person.   Wish me luck!!!

staindgal

staindgal

 

7.12.07: and then i gained 2 pounds...

Dear Plumpy Pad,   So I had been on cloud nine, counting my calories like a fiend and suprising myself every morning when i stepped on the scale! I was down 9lbs. from my start weight and feeling fine!   Then yesterday the new Harry Potter movie came out, and I went to see it. We had popcorn (which i dip in guacamole because i'm weird... and fat), and then after the show -which was REALLY GOOD might i add- we went to get some southwest cusine at moe's.   several chicken fajitas later i rolled myself home, and figured that because i was already bad, i should just go ahead and eat a klondike bar. i was running late this morning so i didn't get to step on the scale, but i just got home from work, peed (to lose every last drop of weight), and stepped on the scale.   now i am only down 7lbs. that means i am up 2lbs. that means i am sad. :think   on a (weird) side note, i ordered a chicken caesar salad from crisper's today for lunch after checking at the total calorie count would be 760 including the dressing. i took it back to work with me, set up my meal at my desk, and discovered that i received no caesar dressing. not a drop. none. so basically the diet gods were watching over me, and lowered my caloric intake for the day by only eating a plate of romaine lettuce with some grilled chicken and grape tomatoes. how bittersweet...   next time i weigh in, i will be heading downward again. i refuse to have any more trips up the scale!! REFUSE!   peace out cub scout!!

staindgal

staindgal

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