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From Here to There

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If I COULDA....I WOULDA...

I'm ending day 2 of my "Liver Shrinking Diet" I have to be honest and say that I've been in tears most of it. I started out with my premeire protein drink nd made it into a smoothly with ice and 1/2 a banana. It took me or ever to get it down but I felt satisfied.....until about 2 hours later. So I decided to have a Cup of cottage cheese for 200 Calories instead of the 160 in protein drink and the 50 in banana. I enjoyed chewing the cottage cheese and took tiny bites practicing hw my post op eating should be. But.... About 2pm I was starving again. So I tired to fill up on water and iced tea. Chatted with friends online and just quietly cried. I mean SERIOSLY if i was ABLE to eat only 870 calories a day, then I wouldn't be 150 pounds over weight!! So hubby took me out f the house to get some hanging potted plants for the back yard. We picked him up some baked chicken and veggies etc for His next couple of meals. I asked him to just Not eat any pizza on front of me. He understands and agrees. I've been called by the anesthesia department and just waiting for hosp call tomorrow or Fri with Surgery time. I can and WILL do this. I've lost 6 pounds since Sunday so will def meet my goal of losing 10lb a week before surgery. But I gotta say....it's Not an Easy Road.
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

7
 

Scale and Motivation Stuck!

Surgery May 13th...have only lost 19# post op...which would be ok, except scales stuck. Increased protein, water. Nothing. Decreased calories, increased calories. Nothing. I feel like I'm gonna stay fat forever...but not eating enough and miserable! Im Either hungry, or full. If I cut calories anymore, I'll just be hungrier and have no energy. Yesterday; 649 cal 70g protein about 50-60 oz water Wednesday: 692 cal 85g protein 64+ oz water Tuesday I went over 1000 calories but had more protein 88g Mon 803 cal 80g protein 64+ oz water I See dr/nurse next Tuesday. Would really like to show a loss between now and then. I am down almost 40# from my heaviest in Jan of 325... But really hoped for more drastic results, since I did something so drastic with this sleeve!  
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

6
 

Warm rash but it itches

I hate when things happen on weekends. I've noticed some itching...getting very severe the past couple of days. Surgery was 5 days ago. I have a red area on each incision that has doubled today. It's warm to touch, the itching is just general on each incision. Seeing dr Monday. Wondering if is reaction to tape? No fever. No drainage (I'm a nurse, but of of course this isn't an er visit on a Sunday kind of thing) just wondering if others had wounds look similar?
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

6
 

Starving and full at the same time?

I'm really struggling today. Frustrated with Hunger pains I'm having. True honest. Tummy Rumblings. I chose this drastic surgery due my issues with hunger pains. Going without meals was a punishment for me growing up. I'm 3 weeks and a day out from surgery and on soft foods still. I've been hungry or full after a few bites today. This sucks! I started my day off with 1/2 c coffee with small amnt milk and spoon sugar. Then a protein drink for 160 cal and 30g protein. Mid morning snack of some egg salad 1/2 cup ?200 cal and 9g protein. Lunch consisted of 4 ritz crackers, and an ounce of Braunschweiger 90 cal 4g protein ....then was hungry hour later and working on another 1/2 cup egg salad. I'm already at 817 calories for the day!! 54g protein. Hoping that after this egg salad is in me, I'll be ok til dinner.
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

5
 

Dulcolax, smooth move, suppositories? Oh My!

***TMI*** I guess Ive not been drinking enough fluids to go with my high protein shakes cause Mama has been Backed up!! I normally have a regular like clockwork body. Get up, have coffee....then go. But the past 3 days, it's been little to none. By the time I thought it was becoming an issue, it WAS an issue! I started getting concerned since my surgery is like TOMORROW! I was straining like I was going to give birth again in time for Mothers Day today. So I placed a desperate call to daughter who picked me up some Dulcolax, some Glycerine Suppostories, and Smooth Move Tea. The tea did nothing but make me have the urge, the Suppository just made it feel worse, and the Dulcolax just hadn't had time to work. I Drank water yesterday until my pee was almost clear!! Finally took a second Dulcolax last night and forced down some Metamucil. Yuck! Had a small tiny bit of relief right before bed but was mindful of my plight with every toss and turn as I slept. This morning...coffee...and I Gave Birth....(I swear I didn't push that hard when I had either of my 3 daughters!!! Alas, I feel I have Triplets so the deed is not done. My Surgey is Tomorrow so I hope I get things "Moving Along" in a normal fashion today.
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

5
 

Pre-Surgery Ramblings

I called the hosp back and completed my registration. My Endoscopy is done and just awaiting biopsy results. I told 2 more people about the surgery I'm having. I guess im ready?! I've Been reading post about training yourself to chew food slowly and not guzzle water. I feel like this may be the hardest part. I'm almost 55 and am going to have to re-train myself on how to eat. I'm already looking ahead to a couple of post op events I'll be at nd trying to figure out what I'll eat and if I'll feel strange going out to dinner and not ordering anything? Well be in Seattle with our daughter nd her family when they come home from Africa as missionaries. I'll only be 5 weeks post op. there will be eating out, and a Mariners baseball game.. I've just finished 2 weeks of not writing down what I eat, or going to the gym..it's like I've had a bit of grieving or depression over my upcoming surgery and changes I'm going to have to make. I had lost 12 pounds in the past 2 months and then gained 4 pounds after eating a "normal" amount of food on Easter Sunday. The 4 pounds turned into 6 and i just gave up trying. My husband has been doing a 12 week Golds Gym challenge and as lost almost 40 pounds. He now weighs less than me for the first time in our 36 marriage. I AM very proud of him, but burning with jealous rage at the same time. He had planned on doing the sleeve also, but was in the middle of this challenge. He just needs labs, endoscopy and surgical clearance. I didn't want to wait for him to finish the challenge, so am proceeding without him. I'm back on track the past few days and have lost 2 of the 6 pounds. I'm so excited for this surgery. I have such issues with being hungry. I hope I'm not one of the few who still struggle with that post op. I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to get from Here to There....
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

4
 

I wish I was a bird so I could fly away from here...

My hubby and I just got back from a 3 day Anniversary trip to Vegas. I knew d be eating and drinking whatever I wanted, and I knew I'd gain weight. But I also knew I'd hunker down as soon as I got home and wean myself into my protein drink week. If I thought I was going to be able to forget about my weight issues a d upcoming surgery for a week....forget about it! First off, I dreaded right away trying to fasten my seatbelt. My husband had to help my pull and stretch it so I could latch it. I was almost in tears. The next time I fly, it will be different. We went to a Buffett the first night and I enjoyed shrimp, crab sushi and a laded baked potato. I sampled a few desserts, but decided they weren't worth it. The old me would have eaten all that I took. The new me left a pork chop, carrots, sushi and several desserts on the table. We did enjoy 2 Amazing steak dinners (one at Vic and Anthony's, and the other at Gordon Ramsay's. Only once did I eat to the point of being over full....I told my husband: "I won't ever have to feel like this again" I know already that I will never ever eat that much food again! I tried several times to not drink water with my meals...this and being hungry are the two things I worry about the most. I've been working on chewing to a pulp, taking smaller bites. But I'm still worried I will fail at this and be miserable because of it. Last night as I was waiting to fall asleep, I actually wondered what God would think of me "mutilating" my stomach by having it hacked off? Then the voice in my head reminded me that I've already mutilated my body by getting 150# overweight!! I'm near tears writing this. I can't believe my husband of 36 years would still find me attractive or sexy at this size. I just want to be done with this....I'm terrified that I won't be successful on this liquid diet, that my liver will be too big, or something will happen during surgery. I want to be successful....I want to do this! I deserve this...
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

4
 

Two Weeks Post Op & Soft Foods

I started some soft foods about day 11 instead of day 14. I've had ground turkey, canned chicken and tuna. As well as continuing my protein drinks and some chobani yogurt. Tonite I had a full meal for dinner. Some canned chicken, a small bit of yams, sppon of peas, 1/4 cup of cottage cheese and 1/4 of avocado. My daughter got me some small plates for Mothers Day. So it looks like lots of food. I wasn't able to finish my chicken tonite, I'm kind of tired of it I think. I also didnt have a protein drink this morning. I scrambled me an egg with Velveta cheese in it. I'm tired of the protein drinks. My daily protein has ranged from 41-72. I don't know when I will reach 80-90g of protein the dr recommended. I will try to get a protein drink down before bed.  
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

3
 

Pouring salt in my wound....

I'm on day 4 of my preop diet..and decided to make my "Own" tastier Lean Cuisine type meal tonite. I took chicken mixed with Greek yogurt and curry...to be put on top of broccoli with a smidge of cheese and heated up. But while mixing the chicken mixture, I decided to add some fresh ground Himalayan salt The entire lid came off and dumped salt everywhere!! I carefully tried to scoop most of it out and had to vacuumed the rest. I was Soooo hungry I tried to eat it anyway. Alas. It sucked and couldn't finish the chicken. I want some frigging pizza! But fear not...I won't.
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

3
 

Five days Post op

I was sleeved the 13th and sent home 24 hrs later. Had horrible spams and gas pains the first night home. Took liquid Vicodin every 4 hrs. Also took anti stomach spasm med Levsin. Due to the patch and zofran, little to no nausea. Finally slept laying down last night. I'm on full liquids since yesterday. Doing ok. But not really sure if I'm getting enough in. Feel ok. No dizziness, but not lots of energy either. See dr on Monday and hope o get answers. I have my notebook with instructions, but I worry I'm not getting enough in. Here's what I had today; 11oz premiere protein drink 8 oz water 4 oz Campbell's gourmet tomato soup 4 oz Greek yogurt (wasn't fat free) 4 oz Campbell's creamy tomato soup 8 oz water TOTAL 500 calories. Approx   I have been struggling with tightness in chest/throat. It happens whether I swallow anything or not. I'm back on my NEXIUM. Hope it stops hurting.
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

3
 

Looking at the BIG picture instead of the Big me!

Had my 1month post op check last week. I was worried that the surgeon would be disappointed in my wt loss. I'd had a 10 day stall where I went up and down the same 3 lbs. I finally stopped worrying about how any calories I was eating and just focused on water and protein, and the scale started moving a bit. But I still thought it wasn't enough. The dr spent almost 30 mins of unhurried chat with me explaining and encouraging me to look ahead....WAY down the line. He promised me that I WAS going to lose wt. I had been feeling like a failure when I couldn't get the 80-90g of protein and would be a bit short on the 64 oz of water. I also was frustrated at all the May sleevers on here eating 500-700 calories. I was so hungry at week 3 on such a low calorie intake. I confessed that on some days I hit 1000 calories! He told me that even at 1200 calories, I would lose wt.. But in the end, he encouraged the basics. 3oz protein and 1/2 to 1 cup of sides. Try to get at least 20g protein each meal. Try to get 64 oz water in. Chew Chew Chew. Eat slow. Eat less fatty foods. Stop at first sign of fullness. These are rules I can live with. I can do this. I AM doing this! In fact, I need to go in and adjust my Ticker, cause I'm down another 3# this week!  
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

1
 

1week Post Op Appointment

Hubby dove me 3 hrs each way to see surgeon for post op appt today. finally under 300# (299) so I'm down 26 from first appt in Feb Incisions are still horribly red. He decided its allergic reaction to adhesive on steri strips. He Rec OTC cortisone cream. He wasn't concerned that I still had some pain and wrote me an RX for more liquid Vicodin. I was starting to feel like a baby. Doing great, but feeling like I should have minimal to no Pain at a week out. He questioned me on fluids and amount of protein. I guess I'm only getting in half the protein I should be. He wants 80-90gr. It's getting harder to get down the premier protein drinks as I've Been on them for so long. We stopped on the way home and bought some unflavored whey protein to add to soups etc, but when I tried it tonite...it was just too big of a scoop if I'm only eating 1/2 cup of soup. Which is too bad cause his powder has 25gr protein. But the scoop is huge! Almost 1/4 cup volume I'm sure. Back to the drawing board I guess. I'll try to get 2 shakes in tomorrow. Anyways, between the long car rides, and being in pain. I was worn out when we got home at 2 pm. I'd taken a protein drink with me and sipped on that and water for the car ride there. And hubby got me a latte with whole milk to sip on for ride home. I went too long without enough nourishment, was dehydrated and in pain. My B/P dropped and nearly passed out. All better now. But looking forward to a pajama day tomorrow and owning the tv remote while hubby goes to work. Will really work on liquids and protein this week so stomach heals and I can move on to soft foods next Monday!
Pammers Johnson

Pammers Johnson

1
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