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About this blog

My Personal Stories and Weight Loss Journey

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Star Medica Review - Novella

This is going to be a long one!   I would like to start by saying today is Tuesday, May 14th I am 4 days post op and am feeling absolutely WONDERFUL!! Currently as I sit here, I am sipping happily on my Isopure Alpine punch protein drink, have taken all of medicine, vitamins and had a nice cup of decaf orange pekoe tea without incident. If I have any complaint I would say it would be the constant “hunger” I am having… now I say that tongue in cheek because the stomach is a muscle… and the only time we really feel that muscle is when we are a: hungry or b: sick. My feeling is that I am not hungry I am simply feeling my stomach heal itself… so I am totally good with this simple easy side effect.   So let’s talk about my journey. I live in Kitchener Waterloo in Ontario Canada, which is located about 2 hours from the border at Niagara Falls. I flew from the Buffalo airport, into El Paso (with a stopover in Atlanta) and arrived at my final destination early afternoon on Thursday May 09, 2013. It was a long day of travel but our driver found us (my sister Melodie came along with me) almost immediately. The drive across the border was uneventful and super-fast.   When we arrived at the Star Medica hospital, the driver (with our suitcases in tow) brought us inside and into the lobby. He asked for my passport and went to the admissions desk to advise who I was and have the nurse start the paperwork for my admission. We sat on the comfy furniture in the lobby and chatted for about 10 minutes before I was called to the desk. I was greeted by the hospital’s psychologist/physiatrist - Dr Calderon. He spoke English very well and guided me through all of the admission paperwork. This took about 5 minutes. The nurse then led my sister to my room and I was off for my blood work and chest x-ray – both of which took approximately 5 minutes.   I was then led to my room – a modest size with a hospital bed, nightstand, tv and tv stand, closet with two combination safes, a really comfortable couch that can double as a bed for a guest, and a reclining leather chair… and the bathroom was AWESOME! The shower was so big I could have had a party in there if I was so inclined!!   After debriefing me on a few things that were to happen that evening (EKG, vitals, etc) and the activities to start the next morning the doctor told me I was allowed to go out and have a final meal of my choosing!! I was super excited having decided to pre-op diet since April 8th!! My sister had opted to stay at the Holiday Inn next door so we decided to go drop her luggage, check out the mall and grab something to eat.   There is a Mexican restaurant between the Star Medica and the Holiday Inn that we decided to try out. They serve you warm chips with fresh made picante, and some other wonderful hot sort of dip before you even decide what to order. We had an appetizer that was some sort of cheese fried and covered in a green sauce, and an order of guacamole. By the time our actual entrees arrived we had to send them back because we were so full!! Even with the waste of the entrées our dinner was so cheap we just waved it off. My sister ate at that same restaurant for the remainder of our stay – it is just that good! After a little bit of shopping at the upscale mall across the street, we returned to my room and awaited my EKG.   That took about 5 minutes as well, and I was free for the rest of the night. Eating is permitted until 12am, however after a drink of the unsweetened apple juice I hit the sack around 9pm.   I woke the next morning just before 6 am (8am my time) and the timing proved perfect as the nurse with the IV came in shortly after. There was some trouble with my IV, but I don’t blame the poor nurse one bit – because there always is with my stupid little veins… but she did manage to get it in after some persistence.   Before they wheeled me out of the room on my gurney at around 9:30, Dr. Rodriguez, along with Dr. Calderon and a beautiful woman who was the anesthesiologist, Dr. Solis; all came to speak with me. Dr. Rod asked me if I had any questions, apprehension or doubt… I of course said no… let’s do this thing!!   I was brought first into recovery and given a pre-medication to relax before I was moved into the OR. I really don’t know how long that took because the pre-meds made me fall asleep… not a bad way to lead into surgery. I do remember however that Friday was Mother’s Day in Mexico and everyone who encountered me asked me if I was a mother, and gave me a hug and wished me Happy Mother’s Day. These people are so very genuine! I woke me briefly just to scoot from one table to the next in the OR and it was lights out. The next thing I knew I was back in recovery and the nurses were putting a powdered medication under my tongue. In and out for a while until; when someone asked if I felt I was ready to go back to my room – I agreed. I believe I made it back to my own room at approximately 1:30 pm. It took me a bit of time to get out of the anesthetic comfortably, as it felt a little heavier than I was used to; and that made my day a bit difficult.   The day was actually a bit harder than I had originally anticipated. I was extremely groggy from the anesthetic and badly wanted to sleep… when I did nod off however, I was too uncomfortable to remain relaxed. I felt extreme pressure and pain in my abdomen – which I do believe was the gas (pumped into my abdomen during surgery)… and of course they want you to walk!! I remember Dr. Rod coming in with an assistant Doctor; Dr. Rafael (Rafa) Vizcarra at some point asking how I was feeling and I told him I felt like CRAP! He laughed and said ok, just walk walk walk and blow on the cornet (this weird little horn thing they ask you to blow into in order to move the gas into your diaphragm) – Ya right!! I tried about three times then told it to get lost and threw it on the window ledge hoping it would jump!! I was also given bottles of water and instructed to rinse my mouth and spit as I needed to keep myself comfortable. Very nice!   I started walking at 4pm, managing one round around the hall. I went again at 5, 6:30 and 7:30… by that time I did three rounds. I then asked one of the nurses that came in to see me if I may go to bed, and thankfully she said I could!! I should note during that day, I saw the cleaners come into my room at minimum three times to mop, change garbage and tidy, and that the nurses were in and out with IV meds, and to check my vitals. Communication was never an issue and all treated me with kid gloves and kindness.   My sister left around 8pm and I was OUT!! I woke at 12:00am thinking it must be almost morning and shuffled to the bathroom with my IV, and suddenly noticed that I felt MUCH better. The anesthetic was all but worn off and the pain in my abdomen was replaced by a hunger feeling (as noted above). I hoped back into bed and slept quite comfortably until 5:00am.   Saturday was, well… boring. Dr. Rod and Dr. Rafi came in again 2x to check on me, tell me what was going to happen that day (barium swallow, and drain removal) and ask if I had any questions. I took a picture with Dr. Rod which is posted in my gallery… and I look absolutely horrible!! I am pale and puffy but whatever, its still worthy of posting. I wish I had taken a picture with Dr. Wonderful because not only was he sweet to me but he was damn cute!! I asked Dr. Rod if I could go shopping – he laughed and said no. My homework for the day was to continue walking, blowing my horn, and eating ice chips to learn about and train my new tummy. I was nervous to start swallowing but I pushed forward and started to learn my limitations for amounts to swallow, how slowly, etc…. slow and careful is key!   Dr. Calderon came in again and explained my post op diet and discussed life changes with me. At one point my IV had to come out because, again due to my stupid veins, the one that was being used collapsed. Not at all a painful issue but the nurses had no interest in prodding me with a needle again so the switched me to oral pain meds and an antibiotic shot. I’m good with that!   I was really nervous about the barium swallow but in reality it was not all that bad. Distasteful; and because you have to drink it quick you kind of get this “swallowed a brick” feeling for a minute but it didn’t make me want to throw up or anything, which is always a bonus! Once that was done, Dr. Rafi brought me back to my room; left for a short while and returned in about an hour to remove the drain and drop off all of my x-rays. The drain was removed so gently I didn’t even know he had done anything yet! I cannot say enough about this man!! He is so sweet and kind and gentle. He told me I am beautiful inside and out and that he would like me to keep in touch with them during my journey. He gave me a hug and a kiss and wished me luck; and then again even gave my arm a little affectionate squeeze when he finally left. I already miss him!!   The rest of the day was spent strolling, looking at the cute babies who were near my room, and relaxing with my novel. The nurses were in and out checking my vitals, making sure I was comfortable, delivering new experimental foods for me to try (Broth, Tea, Apple Juice, and Jello cubes) and at 9pm one delivered a sleeping pill to help me have a good restful sleep before my day of journeying home.   At one point another Dr. whose name escapes me as well, brought me in all of my medications with a folder containing instructions for administration as well as a full disclosure for my doctor at home on all procedures completed during surgery; to go with my x-rays.   Here’s where it gets kind of silly. I took the sleeping pill, and started to doze, then a nurse came in to check my vitals again – so I just sort of dozed through that. Then, another came in to give me a pain med… I took it, still dozy… and THEN one came in to check the dressings on my drain site. After she told me what she was doing I looked at her and said, “Kipper!” LMAO! WHAT?? She laughed, I laughed… and I slept until 5am.   The next morning our driver arrived at 8:30 am, having arranged being early so he could take us shopping; and we were on our way. Crossing the border took about an hour this time – there were huge lines and once the US border guard heard that I had drugs on me they pulled us over and “released the hounds!” Literally! We were made to wait outside the vehicle and two dogs ran around wildly sniffing at everything! That was exciting! We stopped at an El Paso flea market with lots of lovely Mexican folk art for about an hour and the driver stayed by our side the whole time. When we got to the airport he asked for $20 US for his extra time – we gave him $50.00.   And that was that. Long day of travel home… feeling pretty good all the way. No issues on the flight with gas pain or discomfort of any kind, and here I am working from home, for the second day – having taken care of laundry, dishes, tidying, walking on my treadmill (‘cause its freezing here – what the hell!) etc etc., no issues. Seriously, no issues. I can hardly believe it. I will return to my office tomorrow morning!   If I can summarize my experience I can honestly say that the cleanliness, attention and care I received at Star Medica has made the hospitals in my city look like the 3rd world. Not once did I feel frightened or uninformed. I saw my surgeon and his team every day, often more than once. I was made to feel like the most important person in that hospital. I would recommend this Doctor, and this facility without hesitation and will return to personally thank them when I reach my goal. If I can pursuade them, I will take them for dinner!
JillianMarie73

JillianMarie73

0
 

Piss off Ghrelin, you're not the boss of me!

Ok here we go!! My sugery is two weeks from today and I am starting my own version of the Pre-Op diet!! If anyone has read my previous entries you will know that I decided to start cutting stuff back and out since the day my surgery was booked (April 1, 2013).   For the last two weeks I have been carb free and in dietary ketosis… so this week I have decided to go clear liquids only throughout the day, and one sensible low carb low fat protein rich meal for dinner – it will be chicken or fish with a low carb vegetable. Day 1, 12:24… I am FREAKING HUNGRY!! However, I am going to withstand this physical discomfort because I know that on the flip side, it will be gone.   Why am I torturing myself you may ask? Because I feel that the challenge I will face following my surgery will be as much mental and emotional as it is physical. I want to learn now, over the next 14 days how much protein my body needs, and when, along with the various other nutrient requirements (Multi Vit, Calcium,D, B12).   My resolve is not to feel unwell or weak the first couple of weeks following my surgery, but moreover; to not panic and start climbing the walls because there is nothing solid going into my body.   I hope it works. So far, the gradual decrease has been working for me. I feel physically stable, and mentally empowered. I have lost 18 lbs this year, and 39 since my top weight.   Neither refined sugar nor caffeine call the shots anymore so now I tackle ghrelin – I hope it knows the strong stubborn b***h its up against.   In other news, my sister will now be coming with me to Juarez and I am super excited. She is as silly as me and I think we will have a ball.   My bf/ ex bf?? whatever he is now... has not been home since Monday. We have talked and “made up” so to speak. I don’t believe there was any affair or any of the sort going on... because I know exactly where he stayed (and with whom). However, to get in a snit and not come home or check in for a couple of days after a fight, is extremely childish and disrespectful - especially for a man in his 40s!!!.   My feeling at this point is that he is waiting for me to ask him to come home. That’s not happening. I love the man, but I am far to old for this crap, and I have a wonderful son to think about.   And really, if I can get over Chocolate, I can get over Justin! :Þ
JillianMarie73

JillianMarie73

5
 

Bumps in the Road to Happiness...

Im sad today so I am going to blog. It seems like everytime something wonderful is about to happen to me something dreadful has to happen at the same time. Why is that?   I finally had the pregnancy I had hoped so long for, and my bastard husband cheated on me. I forgave and things got better.   Charles was born, and had horrible reflux and suffered for months...but he got better, and my husband got worse... forcing us to move out.   I finally got free, started feeling better and bought my own little house... then a friend lands on my couch and complicates my life... but...we grow to love each other or so I thought, and things got better...he was good to me and my son, and we communicated and got along beautifully.   I booked my weight loss surgery, and not only did Justin's passport get denied but he full out crapped out on me. After a fight about appropriate boundaries (him and models he works with for his photography "hobby"), he just decides to not come home last night at all.   I sent him a text this morning asking him to clear out what he can today, and leave the keys. Not even a response.   I feel really heart broken, abandoned and alone. Ugh. Im upset.   Im trying to focus on the fact that there are only 16 more sleeps until my journey begins, and I am hoping by then my heart will feel a little better.
JillianMarie73

JillianMarie73

6
 

Another First day... to the rest of my life.

So here I am. I have decided to take a step towards the final frontier of my personal happiness. My health.   I have been through a hell of a ride on my journey to today. I have struggled through a dysfunctional marriage to an abusive alcoholic, stood witness to the attack on New York City first hand, narrowly escaped death from sepsis blood poisoning, fought a ten year fertility battle, and buried a friend/lover taken far too young from brain cancer.   Life as a human being is hard enough, no wonder I was unable to keep my weight under control – there was too much else to focus on.   Today, I am the proud mother of a beautiful two year old boy, I am fulfilled in my 10+ year career with a fantastic company who value my efforts, I own my own home, have a functional car, and am in a relationship with a man whom I have known almost all my life in some capacity… its new… its fresh, but its good. He is kind, and patient and wonderful with my son.   The song Good Mother by Jan Arden goes through my head on a daily basis these days – if you don’t know it, check it out on YouTube. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to truly believe that I am finally happy and at peace. There is only one concern left… and that is my weight and my health.   I have tried over the years to lose weight and on a couple of occasions have been somewhat successful, most notably loosing 70ish lbs in 2001 on the Dr. Bernstein Diet. But, being predisposed to easily gain, it keeps coming back.   Last year I topped my scales (having left my husband 3x in the same year my child was born) at 296! I knew I had to do something and quick.   I started an exercise regiment and eating well, and managed to lose 26 lbs in about 4 months. 270 felt pretty good and I started to gain back some confidence in myself and hope for my future.   Then suddenly, my guy (who was not my guy at the time) broke up with his girlfriend and landed on my couch!! We were not an item but decided to try and live as roommates until he either found something more permanent or the arrangement was too awkward.   Riiiiiiiight. That clearly didn’t and wasn’t going to work. He came with a WHOLE lot of baggage and there were some serious growing pains – the to point where I threw him out of my house in January. That’s what we needed I guess to determine that our friendship (and the stuff that blossomed along with it) was in fact a love neither of us were looking for. But, all that confusion and activity made me put my weight loss on the back burner, yet again.   So here I go again, at the start of this year, new diet, new exercise regiment –this is going to be it! I rejoined Weight Watchers (probably for the 18-20th time) and bought myself a treadmill.   Starting the year off at 278 I went gang busters being perfectly well behaved with my eating and working out on my treadmill approx 5 times a week at 40 minutes a pop. I was on the move again and dropped to 265.   Then suddenly I started suffering from sciatica. So, thinking that the exercise would sort it out, I pushed harder – increasing my efforts to every day and included some workouts on my vibration platform. By the end of February I could no longer sleep or stand for long periods of time without pain.   Turns out I have something called Piriformis Syndrome. Apparently what is happening is a muscle that attaches somewhere in my butt and hip is clenching up when I exercise and pinching my sciatic nerve. Are you KIDDING ME?   So through acupuncture, deep massage therapy and chiropractic, they are still trying to make the muscle ease up… and I have not been able to work out.   I continued my diet plan for a while but then threw my hands in the air out of frustration and so here I am - and back up to 277.8. So much effort to lose it, so easily regained.   What I do I know is that I have the will and determination to make this work… all I need is the rewarding results for my efforts. One thing that my fella said to me shortly after we started to cohabitate was, "I dont understand with all that you do, and how you eat, how you weight more than 98 pounds!"   That sort of outside review is the justification I needed! :wub:   This is a big step... and a bit scary... but I am worth this effort, and there is simply put, nothing I wouldn't do for my boy. He deserves a healthy mommy who will be with him a long long time.   Let’s do this thing.     May 10, 2013. Dr. Rodrigues at Star Medica in Juarez.   I’m ready.
JillianMarie73

JillianMarie73

3
 

I may be going it alone...

My boyfriend just received a letter from Passport Canada stating he is being denied his passport for past due Child Support. I know I know, I don’t condone it either but he IS paying his arrears, under an accepted payment plan so I just don’t get it. He’s making calls but it doesn’t sound hopeful. I’m really bummed out at the thought having to travel alone, not to mention I bought non-refundable plane tickets.   I'm sad.
JillianMarie73

JillianMarie73

8
 

Two Weeks Out!

I am feeling great!! Here are the stats:   Highest: 298 Pre-op 277 Surgery: 261 (I did 4 weeks pre-op voluntarily) Home: 271 (Fluid I guess?) Today: 252   25 since the start of my pre-op! 46 over all from my highest! WHOOP WHOOP! I can’t believe I am a scant 3 lbs away from my 240s… which I haven’t seen since 2005!! Then when I reach 230-235, I am going to try on my wedding dress from my second wedding – I am greedily hoping that day will be June 19 – the same day I take my Motorcycle drivers test. Two victories in one day will be quite fitting I think! 17 lbs in 26 days? It’s possible… but the journey is amazing.   My clothes are fitting better, I see a difference in my face and I can feel the difference in my tummy – and my incisions are ITCHY!!! (Which means they are healing nicely!)   The first week of clear liquids got to me a little bit… I was missing the comfort feeling of food, although I must say I wasn’t feeling hungry in the traditional sense. I have read that quite a few people have had trouble getting their protein in, so I am glad that I tried a few products before surgery, because the one I have, Alpine Punch by Isopure, is super easy to get in and digest. It mixes just like Crystal Light, and the consistency is nice and thin. I also opted for G2 Gatorade over the last two weeks instead of water, to ensure my electrolytes stay exactly where they need to be. I have been taking a chewable multivitamin, B12 and Caltrate every day 2x, along with finishing my prescriptions. I am down to one left (my acid blocker), twice a day for 45 more days… so that will just be daily routine with vitamins for some time to come.   Needless to say by the time day 8 came, I could not wait to eat some low fat cottage cheese and thicker soups!! I made two recipes that are absolutely delicious!! Celery Root soup, and Curried Sweet Potato. On their own they do not offer much in the way of protein but they have proven to be great low cal, healthy tummy trainers and have helped me experiment with how fast or slow and how much to eat. I’ll post the recipes below. I have also had a zero fat yogurt here and there, and decaf coffee with cream from Tim Hortons. That’s pretty exciting stuff, although I have noticed that the added fat in the cream tends to travel at the speed of light (sorry TMI) however, at this point I am using that as a tool!   Monday starts the mushy foods “Things I could eat if I had no teeth” phase and I am pretty darn excited about that! Mmmmm…. Baked fish, Scrambled eggs, hummus! I can’t wait!!   I don’t think there is much more to say at this point. Doing really well, feeling great. Oh, and last week I contacted my surgeon; Dr. Rodriguez via email because I had a question and he responded within 30 minutes. I will never be able to express how amazing he and his surgical team are.   Highly recommended!!     Celery Root Soup Ingredients: Small Chopped Onion
1 tbsp of butter / margarine
4 cups of chicken broth (low sodium is best)
2 tsp of thyme
1 large celery root
Preparation: Peel and chop celery root into small cubes, set aside
Place onion and butter over medium heat in a pot and simmer until onion is soft
Pour chicken broth into pot with onions/butter and add in chopped up celery root (there should be enough broth to cover all vegetable)
Add thyme
Add broth and bring to boil; reduce heat, cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until celery root is tender.
With immersion blender or in blender, puree soup.
Curried Sweet Potato Soup Ingredients 2 sweet potatoes (2-1/4 lb)
1 tbsp vegetable oil
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp minced gingerroot, (or 1 tsp/5 mL ground ginger)
2 tsp mild curry paste (or curry powder with a touch of water to make a paste)
4 cups vegetable or chicken broth
Preparation Peel and cut sweet potatoes into 1/2-inch (1 cm) cubes; set aside.
In large saucepan, heat oil over medium heat; cook onion, garlic, gingerroot and curry paste, stirring occasionally, for 3 minutes or until softened.
Add sweet potatoes; stir for 1 minute or until coated.
Add broth and bring to boil; reduce heat, cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until potatoes are tender.
With immersion blender or in blender, puree soup.
CHEERS!
JillianMarie73

JillianMarie73

3
 

Impatience, Poundage and Chocolate Covered Dreams

Well we are down to the final stretch… this time next week I imagine I will be walking around the Star Medica hospital, burping up a storm and not feeling too clever.   The faster time seems to fly, the slower time goes… does that make any sense? Every day seems to drag waiting for my surgery, even though it has been full of adventures (mainly involving Justin). I’m so anxious to get on with this journey and bring myself up through the back swing of recovery.   I have been reading scores of forums, blogs and Facebook posts about people stalling in their weight loss efforts around week three post op. I am beginning to thing I have hit that stall myself already.   I have been pre-op dieting since April 08, and I dropped a total of 21 lbs… then this week my scales shot up 9 lbs literally overnight and have not moved! Now, I confess, having been on low carb, low calorie for three weeks, I have all but lost my appetite and I am barely getting my food in. Most days I will eat an Atkins meal bar (I think I am addicted they are so darn yummy), and some dinner. Add to that a decaf coffee with cream and sweetner, about 13 cups of water and a cup of tea at bed time.   Certainly a small enough amount of calories to make me loose – or maybe not enough to help me continue to drop. Either way, I am very disinterested in eating these days so I am not going to let the scale bother me… it’s just a number and in the end, it is going to come off. I am not changing my recorded weight, I am simply flicking my hair, putting my nose up and saying, “Screw you scale, you are wrong.”   At this point I think it’s a good thing that I have physically prepared myself to this extent – I will not suffer when I move to clear liquids for two weeks and thicker liquids for two more – the requirement for recovery with my doctor.   BRING. IT. ON.   Now, with all that said, almost nightly I am having strange vivid dreams about cheating on my diet!! Just last night I dreamt I “accidentally” ate chocolate, and a couple of nights before I dreamt I was sitting at a table eating cupcake after cupcake. What’s that about?!   It’s just too bad that the dreams battle my conscious mind, and cause angst. If I could control it I would say, "Hey Dream Girl… you snarf just as many of those delicious cupcakes as you want… do it every night and don’t spare a crumb!!"
JillianMarie73

JillianMarie73

2
 

The Undeniable Truth(s)

So, I did everything right and followed all the rules of a low carb, rich protien diet since April 08... was rewarded with a 21 lb weight loss... and then kicked in the face with a 10 pound regain.   I have waited patiently for week and the scales refuse to move. So, sadly I think it is time to update my ticker... it is what it is... and I am going to consider it a message...   This right here, is why I need my sleeve... to help lift me over rediculous hurdles and keep me focused on all the other reasons to take care of me.   Another undeniable truth (stemming from my previous blogs)... I love my Justin, and I am so happy we worked it out.   My journey to Mexico begins Wednesday evening. I am completely prepared.
JillianMarie73

JillianMarie73

2
 

With the Weight, So Too Do the Chains Drop

Well here we are. I have survived the first month of my gastric sleeve. Yesterday marked the one month date since I surrendered my stomach to the great nation of Mexico.   I can’t say it’s been a completely smooth ride, I’ve had my moments of restriction pain, nausea and frustration… and the three week stall threatened to crush my spirit plateauing me for a good 8 days, but at the end of my first month, I can say I have lost 16 lbs.   16 lbs man. That’s nothing to sneeze at. I have read many blogs and posts where people are light years ahead of me on the losing scale and for a short time I allowed that to frustrate me. Then I remembered one great fact.   The power of the law of attraction. What I ask the universe for, I get. Always.   It does not always seem like things are working the way they should but in the end I get the result I have asked of the universe… this rate of weight loss (which I may find slows further) is aiding me to help my skin retract – which is what I am asking for… no loose skin, no loose skin, no loose skin.   So let’s step back to the plateau. It was pretty hard on my nerves, and I think I allowed it to affect me physically because I started having some digestive problems as well, after all had been fairly smooth sailing for the first couple of weeks. I decided one day to sit down and think about the things that I want.. and the things I have wanted, over the last few years…   In May 2010 I wanted to lose the weight and get back into shape I wanted my husband to stop drinking and being abusive to me I wished I owned my own home I desperately wanted to have a baby, having fought infertility for 6 long years   In May 2011 I wanted to lose the weight and get back into shape I wanted my husband to stop drinking and being abusive to me I wished I owned my own home But I had a beautiful baby boy!!!   In May 2012 I wanted to lose the weight and get back into shape I left my husband!! (... but I still wanted love) I purchased my own home!! I have a beautiful son!!!   In May 2013 I am losing weight! I have love with my soul mate! I purchased my own home!! I have a beautiful son!!!   BUT... I’m on a stall.   REALLY JILLIAN???   Perspective perspective perspective!   And the non-scale victories are amazing!! I sleep Better
My pitting edema that has haunted my feet for the last 5 years is practically non existent
The sciatica is gone
And the biggest one is the strength I feel when I power walk.
Everyday I walk up the nature trail beside my office building at lunch time, or behind my home – and I feel the power. I feel myself walking away from all my misery of the past, all my heartache and disappointment…. The chains drop from me as I go. Pretty soon, it will turn into a run, and once I start running… I will never stop! Join me on My Fitness Pal: JillianMarie73
JillianMarie73

JillianMarie73

1
 

My Last Entry..... Pre-Op

So this is the last day I will be sitting comfortably at my desk and able to put up a proper blog entry before my surgery - Lucky you… I will actually have to shut up for a few days – a rare occurrence!   Tonight my sister and I drive out to my parents’ home in Brantford and drop off my son (which I anticipate being the hardest part of this journey)– and then off to the border of Niagara Falls to stay overnight beside the Buffalo Airport. My flight to El Paso leaves at 6 am and I should touch down at 12:30 pm. From there my driver will take me to Juarez, Star Medica.   I have heard nothing but wonderful things about my doctor, Dr. Jose Rodrigues, and although I did pay a higher price than some, I have 100% confidence in his ability, work and the organization I booked with.   I will definitely post a thorough review when I am home .   I started my pre-op dieting a month ago, and although there has been some up and down with my scale (and my life) in that time, I am officially down 16 lbs since April 1, 35 since January 2012 when I hit my top weight.   There is something attached to this weight loss this time… that I have never had before. Hope. Two more sleeps, neither in my own bed, with my own cuddly furry boyfriend… so today, it begins.
JillianMarie73

JillianMarie73

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23 Days... tick tick tick....

I can’t believe it has already been 17 days since I booked my surgery. It seems moment to moment to be dragging (and that may be in a large part due to the fact that things are really slow at work right now for me). But 17 days? Really? I have been slowing chopping things out in my PRE Pre-Op diet and so far it has been fairly easy.   Starting on April 8th I decided I would try to stop eating all junk food (a bad habit I picked back up on over Easter) and drop caffeine out of my diet. Man was I miserable for 3 whole days! The first day I had to take a shot of diet coke in the evening so I didn’t go crazy… and had Advil on hand for my raging headache. I will confess I ate some cookies during that week and had a few “farewell” meals involving French fries and oooooh… that new Pizza Burger thing at Boston Pizza. Yum! This week, starting Monday it was time to carb drop. I am moving in the direction of Akins, eating mostly protein and some veggies – not worrying too much about fat this week. I am replacing my breakfast each day with a high protein zero carb shake. So far I have tried:   Six Star Whey protein powder – Vanilla (which is TOTALLY disgusting!!) So sweet it blows my face off! About Time – Birthday Cake – tastes like licorice water, but tolerable About Time – Mocha Mint – Minty Licorice – and tolerable (Better than birthday cake)   For my fellow Canadians I get the About Time shakes at lowcarbcanada.ca. They also have ISOPURE Alpine punch which I have my eye on.   About Time is sweetened with Stevia which takes over most of the flavor (Licorice like) but I do like black licorice so Im ok with it.   The rest of the day Ive been pretty consistently having an Atkins snack or advantage bar, a small lunch like salad or tuna with mayo in a cup… and dinners have been mainly meat with a side of veg.   I am still enjoying a decaf coffee in the morning with cream and sweetner, and in the evening a decaf orange pekoe tea with milk and sweenter… which is probably why I am not yet into ketosis – milk can be a killer… but I am going to continue to enjoy it until Sunday…then I will drop the milk and sweetner… and learn to drink my tea black.   So next week, no more milk, and no more high fat protein…. High protein, low carb. No caffeine, and no milk. Then onto the true Pre-op diet.   For my pre-op – liver shrinker, I am going to replace both breakfast and lunch with liquid, and have only my dinner which will be chicken or fish, and green beans or mushrooms . Its only two weeks… it will be drab and boring but I am really wanting to prepare myself not only physically but mentally as well.   This is a big investment, and the surgery is a gift. I consider myself very lucky to be in a position to do this for myself and for my son.   Time for the final step in changing my life.   As for the passport issue with Justin, well… what will be; will be. I have made peace with the fact that I may have to go alone. I will remain hopeful that he will be joining me, but if in the end he stays home with Charles, that will be just fine too. Because then Charlie can be in his own home with his Daddy while his Mummy is away for 4 days (first time ever! EPP!!)
JillianMarie73

JillianMarie73

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