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A New Chapter Begining

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Roller Coaster and I haven't even seen a Doctor yet?!?

Hello it's me again.... I have about T-minus 5 days and counting to see the doctor for the first time and start the process of a new me. I think it's crazy that my nerves are starting to take control over me and all the other emotions that can go with it. I am not sure, but I think I may be driving my husband crazy. I have called on my insurance and the surgery is approved, but I have to have 3 months of monitered doctor visits. Piece of cake right? Just makes me want to be pushy and have the surgery sooner rather then later. I am still fighting with is this what I want? My immediate answer would be YES!!!! The doctor visit will seal it for me and I will know then if this is the diredtion i want to go, however I think I will still question off and on until I get it done!   My husband has started second guessing my decision and now it seems like he doesn't want me to get the surgery. I am not sure he understands how bad my back hurts and my knees and hips ache all the time. I recently found out I am in early stage of type 2 diabetes and I have high cholesterol. As the doctor put it I am a tcking time bomb and need to make some drastic changes soon. I realize I am altering part of my anatomy because my will power is not up to par, but I look at it this way.... Aren't I altering my anatomy by being this large and wasting away cartlidge in my joints.....   I figure I can either sit here in my home feeling imprisoned because I don't like to be out and about with my size or I can take control of my life and put things back in order. I think my answer is that I am going to take control of my life rather then my life control me.
littleone75

littleone75

1
 

Doctor's Visit

Saw the doctor yesterday and it couldn't have gone any better!!! Our converstaion was like we had known each other for years. He didn't beat around the bush and told me that I had a lot of work to do. I am totally ready for this and willing to do whatever it is I have to... I was able to have labs drawn that same day and so the process is officially started, AND to top everything else off, I have already been approved by my insurance. In about 3 months I should be ready for surgery! I can't wait to get an official date to put on the calander. Next appointment in a month and is suppose to be full with many other appointments.
littleone75

littleone75

2
 

Taking Each Step as They come

I have done the steps, accepted that I am over weight, took the steps to see the doctor, asked some questions, had the blood test and went to the seminar. I am now in the process of seeing the cardiologist, pulmonologist, dietician, and therapist. I have to wait a month to see them, but I am willing to wait and do what I need to personally to get myself prepared for what is to come. I was also given a tentative month for surgery and it looks like April it is. So many emotions each day seem to catch me by surprise.   Today I felt blue because I don't have many to turn to about my process. My husband is hard to talk to about it because he likes me just the way I am. He knows that I am depressed about it, and agrees with me to do something to make myself feel better, but sometimes I feel that is not enough. We have kept the news of my decision to go through this on the down low becuase I am still embarresed for the things I have to do to get what I want. The hospital that I am going through has a group that meets this Monday and I think I am going to check it out. I hope this helps with the blues that I get from time to time. Maybe even connect with someone and build friendships. I do know that God is on my side and going to take it one day at a time!
littleone75

littleone75

5
 

In the Begining 1-21-13

Today starts the process in my new journey. Many discussions with my husband has lead up to this point and now it's time to either get the ball rolling or lay it to rest. Well tonight I started the process and went to a seminar about gastric surgery. My first appointment to see the doctor is on January 29th and I am getting excited and nervous all at the same time. My goal is to have my blood drawn that same day and try to get the other appointments rolling from there also. I know that this is not a fast process and it will take time, but based on the time frame he gave us, I am going to estimate surgery to be around July!!! Postive's about that month would be that it will be hot during that time and well, I would rather stay indoors anyway so what a better way to recover then in my air conditioned home.   I have never blogged before, but looking forward to writing about my experiences through this process. Praying that all goes well while each step leads me closer to a healthier me!!
littleone75

littleone75

1
 

Day 5 of Liquid Diet

Today is day 5 of my liquid diet with a surgery date of May 8th. I am not doing to bad and have not cheated once, however, I have a throat infection and now I am on an antibiotic. This sucks big time being in pain, but at least I am not hungry. I am in hopes that this time goes by fast and this infection clears up before surgery. I am going to be so mad if I have to postpone because of this.
littleone75

littleone75

4
 

Getting Closer & Closer

I am so amazed at how fast this process has gone for me. Seems like when I first started going through this that it was going to be a LONG drawn out process. I have drug my feet a few some of them, but here it is April and I should have a date for Surgery some time next week. I am excited and scared all at the same time. My son came up to me the other day and said "Mommy, I'm not sure how I am going to feel with you being skinny.." I looked at him and said what do you mean, the only thing that will change is my size and my energy will be more... His response was " well in that case lets do it!" I have the best family support ever!
littleone75

littleone75

2
 

Tomorrow is it! The countdown is OVER!

I can't believe that my surgery date is already here. I have to check in the hospital at 7 in the morning. I hope I can get some sleep tonight and not let my nerves get the best of me. I am so excited and know that the best years are yet to come... Here comes the new me!! Look out world!!!
littleone75

littleone75

5
 

Be Thankful

I found a poem a few years ago after coming back from a mission trip to Africa.... I came acrossed it again today and it helped calmed my nerves for my appointment tomorrow.   BE THANKFUL   Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire, If you did, what would there be to look forward to?   Be thankful when you don't know something For it gives you the opportunity to learn.   Be thankful for the difficult times. During those time you grow.   Be thankful for your limitations Because they give you opportunities for improvement.   Be thankful for each new challenge Because it will build your strength and character.   Be thankful for your mistakes They will teach you valuable lessons.   Be thankful when you're tired and weary Because it means you've made a difference.   It is easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to hose who are also thankful for the setbacks.   GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings. ~Author Unknown~   When I am going through my highs and lows throughout this process I am going to try and remember this.
littleone75

littleone75

1
 

On you Mark, Get Set......

I have no officially done all that I need to and seen the doctor as many times as I needed to. I am now in the process of getting a date which should come next week. I can't believe I am already here. My emotions get the better of me sometimes and I even get a little giddy when I think about it. I am about to become re-born in my eating habbits and portion control. I can't wait to gain back my life and my activities.   My youngest son said to me the other day...."mom will I still recognize you when you are skinny?" Made me want to cry and I told him yes and you will like the new me much better because I will want to get out and do more with all of my children. He then said to me "OK mom then you have my permission to have the surgery." Just melts my heart... They see the struggle I go through and they want to much more for me. I love my family so much.   I am hoping my next blog will be my actually surgery date and starting my liquid diet. I am about to join the loser's club and enjoy every second of it!!!
littleone75

littleone75

0
 

Loving myself more!

I am 8 months post-op and 92 lbs down! I am loving my self more and more and enjoy the new life I have been given. The best part is that my back doesn't hurt like it did before and my knees sing praises of joy instead of screaming in pain. I am currently off all my medication and feel much younger then I used to! It is also nice how my husband finds me very sexy!   Well my journey so far has not been easy. I am trying to find new ways of getting my protien down (sorry but those protien shakes are not always the best) and figuring out how to get my water in (64 oz is really not that much, yet I struggle with it a lot). With my last visit to the doctor, I told her that my goal weight was 130 and she looked at me and said, that would not be a healthy weight for you. So we have made my new goal of 150. This means I only have 18 more lbs to go!!! I can't wait!!!! I have found more confidence it the things I do and have even joined our church Priase Team! I love music and being able to worship God is even better!!!!   I have been asked the same question over and over again, and the answer has always been the same - Do you regret having the surgery? My Answer: Only that I didn't do it sooner!!!
littleone75

littleone75

0
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