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About this blog

The full journey

Entries in this blog

 

GOAL!

So sorry it's been forever- life seems to creep up on you and next thing you know- you don't have 3 seconds to sit down and blog. lol So- I've hit and passed my dr's goal, and my own goal...I'm currently at 149, in a size 4/6 pants, and a Medium shirt. I've lost a total of 106#, 8-10 pant sizes and 4 shirt sizes   I'm saving up to have breast augmentation...they're WRECKED and I'm trying to figure out if my insurance will cover a tummy tuck, or if I'll have to fund that myself as well. I have lost over 100# so I think they might cover it, but they didn't cover my surgery- so I'm doing leg work on that right now. I'm with Blue Care Network in Michigan...so I'll keep everyone posted on that. Life is amazing. I'm happier than I've ever been...I feel good, I look good- I have more energy- I'm motivated...this decision has changed my entire life, in every single aspect. I recently re-started a 30 day challenge, and have been working out everyday, I'm waiting for this TERRIBLE Michigan weather to break so that I can start walking...and hopefully running outside this Spring/Summer....I'd like to try doing a 5k this year- that's my goal...so here's to that!   Here is a progress picture I wanted to share with you too. Thanks to each of you that offered support, encouragement, or just an ear when I was having a hard day (or a good day!!).   I'm going to make a better effort to keep blogging here too- my journey is not over..no way! This year is just the start of the rest of my life
nygurl

nygurl

4
 

Tummy Tuck?!?

Sorry it's been so long- time just seemed to slip away from me. I broke my thumb out at the barn working the horses, and have been off work for the last month- so needless to say, not much time on the computer lately! I'm back and out of my cast (Thank Goodness!!!).   I'm PROUD to say- I've passed my dr's weight loss goal for me, I've actually hit 100# lost from my highest weight. I'm wearing size SIX jeans...something I NEVER thought I'd accomplish, and I'm happier now than I've EVER been. I'm comfortable, I'm confident...it's everything I thought it would be and more.   I'm looking into options to have a tummy tuck- the excess skin is really a bother to me...I'm hoping I'll be able to have my insurance cover it- although I'm not sure that will be the case, as they did not cover my original surgery to start with...but I'm doing some reserach to see what my options are- anyone with experience in that area...I'd love to hear from you!!! I've got BCN in Michigan.   I've had a little bit of a nagging feeling now that I've hit my dr's goal (and 5# until I hit my own personal goal)....what if the weight comes back? Anyone else experience these feelings?? I'm so scared to go back to where I was, especially having been heavy my entire life- this is a side of things I've never seen before and I don't want to go back to where I was- EVER. Thoughts? I'm sure I'm not alone in this either....   MISSED YOU ALL!! CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR BACK!!!
nygurl

nygurl

0
 

ALMOST there

ALMOST there!! Hit the scale today at 175, that means a total loss of 80 pounds since my pre-op weight (65 post op). I'm comfortably in a size 8 (from a size 18/20)...and I'm loving my new life. I was blessed with a recent change to meet my all-time FAVORITE band (Rascal Flatts) just this past month. I was so happy to be able to go and enjoy myself and take pictures and not worry about how I looked, or what people were thinking. It's amazing how much this life-change has really put my entire life in a new perspective. I didn't realize how lacking my confidence was...actually I always prided myself on being a confident woman, but I didn't see how much I was holding back until I lost the weight. I had the joy of attending my daughter's Back-To-School Night last week, her 2nd grade teacher (from 2 years ago) didn't even recognize me. For those of you that are struggling or are in the early stages of this change...keep the faith- you CAN do this, and I promise you it will be worth it's weight in gold when you are living your new life. For those of you debating on doing it...I cannot promise you an easy path, I can't say for certian you won't have complications or problems- but I can tell you- without any doubt, this is the best thing I've ever done for myself, for my children, for my family, and for my own happiness.   Ok, just wanted to drop a quick update on everyone- OFF TO WALK ON LUNCH!!! XOXXOXOXO
nygurl

nygurl

0
 

ALMOST there

ALMOST there!! Hit the scale today at 175, that means a total loss of 80 pounds since my pre-op weight (65 post op). I'm comfortably in a size 8 (from a size 18/20)...and I'm loving my new life. I was blessed with a recent change to meet my all-time FAVORITE band (Rascal Flatts) just this past month. I was so happy to be able to go and enjoy myself and take pictures and not worry about how I looked, or what people were thinking. It's amazing how much this life-change has really put my entire life in a new perspective. I didn't realize how lacking my confidence was...actually I always prided myself on being a confident woman, but I didn't see how much I was holding back until I lost the weight. I had the joy of attending my daughter's Back-To-School Night last week, her 2nd grade teacher (from 2 years ago) didn't even recognize me. For those of you that are struggling or are in the early stages of this change...keep the faith- you CAN do this, and I promise you it will be worth it's weight in gold when you are living your new life. For those of you debating on doing it...I cannot promise you an easy path, I can't say for certian you won't have complications or problems- but I can tell you- without any doubt, this is the best thing I've ever done for myself, for my children, for my family, and for my own happiness.   Ok, just wanted to drop a quick update on everyone- OFF TO WALK ON LUNCH!!! XOXXOXOXO
nygurl

nygurl

2
 

Differences in Life

Well, first a few REALLY exciting things...this morning the scale dropped again to 177, meaning a total loss of 78 pounds, 63 pounds post op. The other day I put on AND ZIPPED UP a pair of size 8 jeans...I've never been in a size 8...I honestly can't remember being one anyway.... so that is all great exciting stuff for this week   The last two weeks it seems eating has become hard again, I realized as I sat with not really an upset stomach, but just feeling generally crappy after about 3 bites of dinner last night...I HATE EATING. I only do it to live now. It's weird to think of it that way. I used to really enjoy a really good meal, or a really yummy snack..and don't get me wrong- I'll still totally indulge in a brownie or something sweet and good like that- but generally speaking- I only eat to live. I never thought I'd see that day. It's a totally different world than the one I used to live in. I never really "crave" anything anymore- my husband hates that he asks me 'what do you want to eat?" and my genuine answer is "I don't care"....although I do care- b/c it can't be anything with too much bread, or anythig high in sugar, or carbs- lol- my stomach just doesn't tolerate those things anymore. To be honest though, I don't mind, I don't really miss it- I wasn't eating executive chef meals everynight- so if Taco Bell no longer sounds appetizing, I can handle that   The saying is true- nothing tastes as good as skinny feels
nygurl

nygurl

7
 

woo! 60# down post op (75# total)

Hit another milestone this morning Down 60# since my surgery, 75# total...it's amazing to look back through pictures and see the transformation that I've made. I'm so much happier than I used to be. I'm more active, I'm more outgoing- and everything I do- I realize I do with more pep in my step, more sparkle in my eye- and just generally more enjoyment and appreciation. This is without a doubt the best decision I've ever made for myself. Hope you all are doing just as well!!!!
nygurl

nygurl

6
 

Class Reunion :)

So, my 10 year class reunion was last weekend...I was excited to go- but still very nervous. As I've said a hundred times before- I've been overweight most of my life- and while I was excited to show off the new me...many people from high school hadn't seen me at my heaviest point, which came a few years after my son was born- so I wasn't sure they'd notice any major change- like those that really know me did. Boy, was I wrong. EVERYONE had nice things to say about how great I looked, and it was nice to go and enjoy the evening and NOT feel like everyon had something rude to say- or was watching me. It was nice to just be one of the crowd, and not feel like I stood out. Hubby looked awesome as usual, and we made a cute couple that I was proud to show off It was great catching up with some long-lost friends and reconnecting with some folks I hadn't talked to in the last 10 years as well.   I felt like getting to go and ending the night not being totally panicked about what everyone else was thinking was my biggest accomplishment thus far.   Me and my best bud from high school before the reunion   5 month photo change!!
nygurl

nygurl

4
 

Some days I see it, some days I don't...

So far, I'd consider my surgery the best decision of my life. I'm down a total of 71 pounds, 56 pounds post op. I've gone from a size 18/20 to a size 12. From xxl shrits to m/l. There are days that I see pictures of me and literally just stop and stare for a bit- I hardly recongize myself...but when I look in the MIRROR....I don't see much of a change. Anyone else finding this on their weightloss journey? I see that clothes are too big, and I happily went through my summer and winter clothes pulling out STACKS of stuff that I'm proud to say will never fit me again...but there are times where I throw on a shirt, and just automatically start pulling on the fabric to "stretch" it so it'll lay without touching my stomach so that it doesn't look too tight. I'll come out and my husband or a friend or my sister will say- WOW YOU LOOK AMAZING!! I'll still end up changing, because I think it looks terrible on me. I know I still need to adjust to my new body and my new life..I'm proud of what I've lost- I know I've lost it...but sometimes it doesn't register when I look in the mirror...anyone else have that problem?
nygurl

nygurl

2
 

Switching it up for some changes....

First..update- this is my picture progress...January, March, April, May, July. Down 52# total from surgery.   I have found myself struggling again with the same few pounds- I feel like I'm saying that all the time...but I guess that's how my journey is going to go- I'll struggle with a # for a bit- then boom suddenly I'm dropping a pound a day for a solid week, then I struggle again. I know personally, the last few weeks have been vacation and holiday filled- so I've not been watching my diet as closely and following my plan. I feel myself CRAVING protein, which is a sure sign I'm not getting enough. I started 10,000mcg Biotin daily- and my hair loss has slowed incredibly and my nails are not snapping off while I type (gross I know)...I'm glad I finally got my butt to the drugstore and bought it though- I'm kicking myself for not doing it earlier. If you're not on it yet-- GET ON IT!   I've also swtiched up my routine, I was doing an ab/squat challenge that was really difficult, it was a 30 day program..I think I did all of 10 days of it. I've started to focus on shorter work out videos and routines that are focused on problem areas for me (arms/butt/thighs/stomach) THANK YOU PINTEREST. If you're not on there yet- you should also GET ON IT   Just wanted to check in, I've been off for a bit b/c it's summer and things get busy this time of year. Hoping to break this small stall I'm in and have a better progress pic/update for next time.   Keep plugging away fellow sleevers!! <3
nygurl

nygurl

1
 

Somehow still not fast enough...

I debated on posting this, because I KNOW how crazy it sounds..but does anyone else just feel like- this weight isn't coming off fast enough? When I look back on it- I was sleeved 2/28, and I'm already down 48 pounds POST OP...which is like...amazing. I'm a totally different person, yet so much of me is like- get to the "normal" size already. I think there is so much pressure on myself to be the size I want to be that I'm taking for granted the major changes and steps that I've taken this far. On the flipside of that it's also frustrating to be like- wow I've lost almost 50 pounds...yet I'm still overweight. It's an odd place to be...on one hand- I'm happy with the weight loss, I'm down several sizes, and I feel SO much better...but then on the other hand I'm like- yeah but this is good not great- you're still not where you should be. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change one second of this choice, it's the best thing I've ever done for myself, and wouldn't undo it if I could. I love my new lifestyle. I know it sounds crazy...but I also promised myself that I'd blog through this entire journey, pre op- through my surgery, and post-op...so I can look back and see my journey, but also in the hopes that I can connect with a few folks that are thinking this choice over...or that are going through what I am...so...   Anyone else have that struggle?
nygurl

nygurl

5
 

New Lifestyle

Well, I hit ONEDERLAND on June 6th, and have dropped another 3 pounds since then. It feels great to know that those #s are behind me, and will be gone for the rest of my life now. I'm 6 pounds away from hitting 50# total loss post-op. It's a great feeling being more active, wanting to work out, knowing that each healthy choice I make is finally actually making a difference in my end weight...whereas before it felt like all work and no pay off. I'm so glad I made this decision for myself, there has not been one day of regret so far. My sisters and my dad are all talking about having the surgery now too, which makes me feel good, like I made the right choice- and they can see the positive changes it's made in my life- and they want it too. My size 14 jeans are literally falling off of me, but I HATE to buy new jeans, knowing soon enough- they're going to be too big too...random, isn't it?!   Just wanted to check in, I told myself that I'd blog as much as I could on this journey to keep folks informed, and maybe someone out there deciding on the surgery will be able to see this thing through from my perspective, and it'll help them make their own decisions.
nygurl

nygurl

4
 

ONEDERLAND!

So excited to share that I got on the scale this morning and I've hit ONEDERLAND! I was really getting frustrated, seems I've been fighting this same 5-10 pounds for what feels like forever. I know a lot of folks on here have been so supportive, and have tried to help keep me in the reality of "two pounds a week" is a great loss, and more than I'd have lost before-- but it's easy to get wrapped up in getting on the scale and not seeing what we deem a "significant" enough change. I guess that's part of my own downfall that I still need to work on. My sisters especially have mentioned it- seems I'm never happy with the way I look, that even after losing 56# (which is my total loss now ... 41 since surgyery) that I just find the next thing wrong. I've already talked a bit about this in my previous posts, so I'm not going to go on and on about it- but it kind of seems to stick in the back of my mind lately. I've also found myself having a hard time just saying, "Thank you, I've worked hard" when someone notices my loss- seems I'm always quick to be like "Oh tahnks, but I have a lot more to go", or "Oh thanks, but I still look terrible" I've been making an effort when someone notices my loss to simply tell them, Thank you mention that I've been working on it- etc, and take the compliment for what it is. It's weird to have to force yourself to think that way honestly. Started a new work out routine too- makes me feel a lot more accountable for my weight loss as well, it's the 30 day ab and 30 day squat challenge...it's no joke, and I've added my own arm work outs to it as well, hoping to tone up this lose skin. I'll keep everyone posted on the progress as I go, right now I'm only on day 7, but it feels good!!   Best of luck fellow sleevers, hope to hear back from you soon!!!
nygurl

nygurl

4
 

39# POST OP

Weight loss has slowed a bit- went from like a pound a day for a while there- to about 1-2 pounds a week, I find myself getting frustrated with that...but know that it's several times better than I've ever done on my own. I had to share the face shot comparison...the one on the left is from March 30 (so about 1 mo post-op), the one on the right is from today
nygurl

nygurl

2
 

ALMOST there

OK- when I say "there" I don't mean my final goal- but I do mean ONEDERLAND! Weighed in today at 204....I have been trying so hard to stay on track and push this extra weight off...I'm about 1/2 way to my actual goal- and saying as it's only been 9 1/2 weeks, I'm pretty proud to report that   I'm excited to go through my summer stuff- and toss/donate all the old clothes from fall/winter that are now way too big, and dig out the summer clothes that I've been storing for years (that used to be too small), telling myself that "eventually these WILL fit again". I'm down 3 sizes since my surgery- which is a great feeling...and even if it was an XL, I bought a new summer dress for myself in the juniors section the other day (little victories make this so much more fun!) I'm a little worried that those that knew me best were right, that I've become so hyper-critical of myself that I'm still not pleased with what I see. I feel better- don't get me wrong, but I'm already mentally planning to get pretty much a full-body makeover when I'm at my goal. A plastic surgeon in the area does what he calls a "Mommy Makeover"...tummy, arms, thighs, boobs...SIGN ME UP. Anyone else feel that way? Anyone else a little worried that you'll NEVER look in the mirror and just be happy with what you see??
nygurl

nygurl

4
 

Taking inventory in life

Good morning! After a solid week of battling the same damn pound, I dropped it Monday, and two more since then It is a great and rewarding feeling to get on the scale and see those changes. It makes the extra time it took to dig out a weight watchers recipe and cook versus grabbing fast food that much more rewarding. The weather is finally breaking here in Michigan, and it's beautiful out!! Can't wait to get out and walk every single day again- I miss it sooooo much! I'm back horseback riding again, which wasn't something I had given up due to my weight or anything...but I kind of see now, looking back, I gave up a lot of stuff indirectly becuase of my weight. I didn't feel like going out, I wasn't in the mood, didn't have the energy, etc. I love getting out now- getting dressed and going out in the world. I'm almost to my 1/2 way point in my journey...down 49# total, with 56# more to go. I'm excited to start seeing myself IN pictures with my kids, instead of just standing behind the camera all the time. I'm excited to get dressed and know that nobody is noticing me for what is or isn't showing- it's like an entirely new outlook on life. I have always had my weight weigh really heavily on my mental well-being and my attitude, so I'm glad to see as I shed pounds, my attitude changes, my life is better, and I'm so much happier!   Had to share some uplifting stuff today- I know that I haven't been on as much, and I want to be able to track my journey on here as well as maybe help someone out that is questioning if this is the right choice for them or not. I know everyone is different, but I would do this for myself 100xs over if I had to. I finally have my LIFE BACK   Have a great day y'all!
nygurl

nygurl

2
 

29# finally SEE IT!

Well, I got on the scale this morning, down 29# from 2/28 when I was sleeved. Feeling MUCH better about myself, I know I've posted a lot lately- just can't SEE it in myself yet. I bought a new shirt- in a large, expecting to put it away for the summer when I drop another 15# or so...got it home and felt brave enough to try it on and see how far I was from really being able to wear it....IT FITS!!!!!! I took a pic to send to my hubby, and when I looked at the screen I SAW IT!! I can FINALLY see the change in myself I think people are right- we see ourselves everyday, we most likely have a negative view of ourselves in our head that seems hard to shake....it takes a good 30# to see a change. I still have trouble seeing it when I look in the mirror, but I finally saw the new me coming out in that picture today...so I had to share it. I'm loving my new lease on life, I am so greatful that I was provided with this chance to get my life back on track before it was too late. I'm feeling very very blessed today (and kinda hot too!! ) I love this new me, and I'm excited to see what the rest of this journey has in store for me.
nygurl

nygurl

0
 

Still not seeing it...?

So, I'm excited to announce I'm over my very first stall, as stressful as it was, and am now officially down 26#! I had no pre-op diet, and was sleeved on 2/28. I'm pretty happy to see these kind of results in 5 weeks, way better than I'd been doing before with just the same ol' diet/exercise routine, The weather is also starting to break so I've been able to get out and hit the pavement...I bought myself a pair of expensive shoes I've been eyeing up for literally a year now...I walked my last pair of shoes right to pieces, and felt it was a good way to reward myself for hitting the 25# mark, while giving myself a tool to keep moving forward with the loss I'm pretty excited about it honestly. That being said- I FEEL a lot better, I'm in a smaller size jeans (Actually 2 sizes smaller from pre-op)...but I still don't SEE it. Today I was out walking with my dogs and my daugher and my own sister drove right past me, after waving and waving she finally turned around and said she didn't even recognize me! It felt great to hear that- but I seriously can't see it in myself...is it that I'm just so mentally warped on my own body image that I can't see the improvement? Is anyone else having this issue? I feel like I look exactly the same, in the mirror, in pictures, etc- I see NO change.....?   Am I crazy??? lol
nygurl

nygurl

4
 

STALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL :(

Ok, so I'm in a stall...have been for about 3-4 days now, and today- now up 1# from my lowest that I hit last week.....I know everyone says to expect stalls...but I'm so frustrated. I'm down 23# (up from being down 24#), what did you guys do to re-kickstart your weightloss?? I'm so terrified of this failing, this is only adding to my worry....
nygurl

nygurl

10
 

Couch to 5k!

So, I started the couch to 5k program this week, using the online support and the app I downloaded to my Android phone for free- I like it. It just vibrates my phone when it's time to switch from fast walk/run. I started it Monday and did ok- it's a big change from being off pretty much all activity other than walking to an actual regimented work out...I did a walk yesterday, and then the couch to 5k day two is today. I'm pretty proud of myself, I was 240 post op, and today weighed in at 216 Can't complain about that. I'm not in new clothes just yet- but my old ones are falling off of me, which is finally a good feeling. I still don't see it in my body, I guess a bit in my face- and that's what people seem to tel me- plus my wedding ring is spinning like crazy on my finger- time to get one of those adjustable band attachments until my weightloss settles in and then I can go get it resized. Kinda exciting stuff if you ask me   Hope all is well with everyone else!!
nygurl

nygurl

2
 

back to life...

So- this might be a longshot- I'm 3 weeks post op today...wanting to get back to riding horses again- anyone know when it's clear to do this? I could call my dr- but wasn't sure if anyone had a similar experience and could give me some insight   Thanks!
nygurl

nygurl

0
 

Seeing the #s change, but not feeling it?

So, got on the scale today- (after being a little scale-obsessive last week), and 221 popped up. Pre-op was 240, surgery was 2/28- can't complain- it's exciting to see the continual downward trend of the scale. I still have been lower in the last year or so just working out and dieting alone, so I'm not as proud of myself as my hubby thinks I should be. I seem to be adjusting to the new diet well, I'm kind of running out of things to make- trying the famous "Ricotta bake" tonight, we'll see how that goes. I'm still struggling to get in all my fluids- seemed to have beaten the curse of trying to get in the protein and that seemed to help jump the weight loss again this week...but for only 2 1/2 weeks out, to be down almost 20# is really exciting....so why don't I FEEL like it? I don't see any change in my body, my clothes fit a bit looser, but really- I haven't even had the fun of dropping down a size yet- my stuff just went from way tooooo tight to a little loose- so I know that's still movement in the right direction. Anyone else have that "just don't feel 20# lighter" feeling? lol I'm not cleared for full workouts yet- so I'm walking as often as I can, I'm in Michigan so it's cold and wet and sputtering snow/ice as often as possible as well, which sucks. Treadmill walking just isn't as rewarding if you ask me!!   How is everyone else doing on this journey?!?!
nygurl

nygurl

7
 

Let's try this again....

First day back to work....again...since surgery. I worked Tuesday last week, but ended up in the ER Tuesday night b/c of a major kidney stone/infection- fun times. I'm working a full day today- but only 1/2 tomorrow b/c I need to go back to the hospital to have them take this stent out so I should be good to go after that. I weighed myself this morning, was kinda bummed to see only a few pounds off, since my first week was super successful. I went from 240 pre-op to 238 the day prior to surgery (2/27), first weigh in was on 3/4 and I was already down to 228. Today 226. I'm having a REALLY hard time getting my fluids and any kind of food/protein in- it's not that I can't keep it down or that it hurts or anything like that- I simply have NO desire to eat or drink... :/ I guess that's better than what I was dealing with before...right?
nygurl

nygurl

0
 

yawn

Feeling much better now that they fixed my kidney stone, but feeling very bored with the same food/drink options....protein shakes, water, broth, jello, pudding, yogurt...repeat. So ready for the next puree stage.
nygurl

nygurl

0
 

one more night here...

The surgery yesterday evening went well, they were able to get the kidney stone out, so that's good. I'm still uncomfortable, and running a fever on and off due to the infection it caused. My blood pressure is kind of all over the place, one reading high- the next might be low- the next normal...so between that and the fever, they're keeping me one more night to make sure they get all the antibiotcs on board that they wanted to. (P.S.- these liquid meds TASTE TERRIBLE! lol) As much of a bummer as it is to have kindey stones, I really took a lot of comfort in knowing, I have no remaining issues from surgery. The pain I thought I was having b/c of it turned out to be kidney stone, so I'm completely healed and doing well with my sleeve itself. I've also found now that the stone is out- and the pain is down, I'm much better at getting my fluids in- still working on the protein angle, but it's hard to fill that order at the hospital- I've been using muscle milk for now- just to get something in.   Thanks all for the support and well wishes the other day! Best of luck to the rest of you sleevers!
nygurl

nygurl

5
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