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My Goals

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Life Rears It's Ugly Head - But My Sleeve Fights Back!

For the last three weeks I've felt a little blah - well a lot blah. I have MS and unfortunately had a relapse. For those of you who don't know - that means going on IV steroids - the very ugly little suckers that made me gain all this weight in the first place. I usually gain 10-15 lbs during the time I am on steroids. Well, I am happy to report from the other side and tell you that I actually lost 4 lbs this past week while on the steroids! I absolutely LOVE my sleeve! I did have some wacky food cravings - but found that I could eat so little that it wasn't hard at all not to gain weight.   The second cool thing - today I wore to work the suit I was wearing on 9-11-2001! Seriously?!?!?! And what is even better is that it looks awesome! There are a couple of pieces of clothing that I have kept over the years - mostly for sentimental value - but I always said I was going to wear them again when I lost weight. I cannot believe that it is actually happening!     6 month face progression...So amazingly happy!
BANANA PANTS!

BANANA PANTS!

2
 

My Weight Loss Surgery Story

I could just about say "ditto" to everything everyone else has written about their reasons and that would be my story. Here are my details: 40yrs old Registered Nurse in Northern Virginia 266 was highest weight 262 at start of pre surgery diet 250 day of surgery 12/17/12 Surgeon: Dr. Salameh at Virginia Hospital Center   Surgeon/Hospital Choice: I changed both about 3 months prior to surgery because I started working at VHC and was very comfortable with their Bariatric Center of Excellence and processes. It was hard to imagine having surgery and being vulnerable to people I work with in that sense but I did a lot of research and talked to almost everyone who would be caring for me and that made all the difference. A surgery nurse told me, "surgical nurses tell no tales." This comment was huge for me - and made me so much more sure I made the right choice.   Pre-op Insurance Issues: I changed jobs and insurance during my journey which was a challenge. My insurance initially denied me because although I had over 8 months of a medically supervised diet - they claimed not enough of an exercise component was included. Having been a clinical case manager myself, I know that this is just a ploy and delaying tactic used by insurance companies. So I had my surgeon do a peer-to-peer review with the medical director of my insurance (Care First Blue Cross PPO). They compromised and insurance said they would approve if I did physical therapy (I have multiple sclerosis as well so this was one of my surgeons selling points). The physical therapy (although annoying and another month delay) was the best thing that could have happened to me. I met with the physical therapist who treats bariatric patients and it was amazing. He set me up with an exercise plan - and more importantly, made me feel good about myself and the journey I am taking. He even visited me post-op and gave me another pep talk. Had I known how helpful his was I would have paid out of pocket for it. I cannot wait to follow up with him in the new year (he's also really nice to look at - I'm not gonna lie)!   Surgery 12/17/12 - all went well. I had a significant haitial hernia which needed repair. Post op I had a lot of pain - that was a surprise. I thought I would be getting a PCA (Patient Controlled Analgesics) and did mention in my pre-op surgery appt. that I don't do well with morphine. However post op they ordered IV morphine which didn't tough my pain. Ended up getting switched to dilaudid which I got pretty much every 2-3 hours but I would have probably done better if I could have controlled it myself. Discharge was sort of a mess. My nurse was getting an admission so she did my discharge before I was ready to go. We left all of the post op instructions in the room - luckily I am a nurse and knew what to do. I only had a few hours (maybe 2) on clears before I was discharged and only one dose of oral pain meds. Looking back - this clearly was not enough. I also could not take a deep breath - couldn't get the incentive spirometer (IS) to move at all. I probably needed another night in the hospital.   First day home - was HORRIBLE! I had a terrible headache, could not get fluids in without severe pain, was taking pain meds more frequently than prescribed just to be able to breathe. Each breath hurt and stomach spasms on liquids really hurt. I was dehydrated and still could not make the IS move at all. Worse was I couldn't get to the phone in time to get the post-op call from the hospital so was unable to get my post-op instructions e-mailed to me (gonna suggest they ask for preferred phone number at discharge). A nurse friend came over and listened to my chest and was concerned that my breath sounds were extremely diminished on my left side as well as in both bases, She suggested the ER if it didn't improve. I also had a low grade fever:100.8. My second day was much better. I went to the mall for 4 hours and walked and also worked hard on the deep breathing. I coughed up a bunch of blackish/brownish crud and that helped as well. Fever down and no ER visit needed.   Day 6 - things are going well. I still hurt but am down to just about 2 doses of pain meds a day. Im getting more fluids down and about 1/3 of a protein shake for breakfast and some cream of chicken soup for dinner. I've tried a few bites of pudding but got a little nauseous - so that is going to have to wait.   Overall I'm extremely happy. I stopped all of my meds (except my MS disease modifying injections), and that has been pretty good. I'm very optimistic about the process. I forgot to mention the most important thing - I have an incredible boyfriend (of 15 years) who has been amazing through it all. He has cared for me and loved me unconditionally through the years, through MS, and through weightless surgery. Having this kind of support has ben the best and most important medicine.   I've lost 20 lbs since my week prior to surgery diet. Im not gonna lie and say the pounds don't count - they do so very very very much - but the way I feel right now cannot be measured in pounds. I'm trying to keep that in mind when I have what I know will be a battle with the scale in the weeks to come.   Cheers to you all!
BANANA PANTS!

BANANA PANTS!

6
 

Six Months - Is that All?

I am officially six months into this journey and I couldn't be happier. I am half way to my ultimate goal. I've had a couple of ah-ha moments lately. This past weekend I went shopping and realized that just because something fits doesn't mean I have to buy it. In the past anything that fit was an automatic purchase as there were so few things that actually fit. Now I can pick and choose! That made me so amazingly happy this weekend. I am also now fully aware of how my body drops weight - this will be a losing month and next month will not. I tend to stall with every 10 lbs now - but I am moving in the right direction and that is what is important. This picture is of me the day of surgery and then at 6 months post-op! -69 lbs!!! BIG GOALS: Get rid of the "Big O" - I want to be out of the "obese" range for BMI (about 4 more points to go on that one)
Have lost more weight than I have to lose - that will be in two more pounds - but it is a day I am so looking forward to...
Get rid of any and all clothing with an X after the size (it's an emotional attachment - none of them fit me any more)
Do a zip-line - that's been on my list for a while - gonna knock it off this summer
I'll post more when I have time to think about them. Life is simply too busy right now to think straight. Oh - one interesting thing happened last weekend. We went to a party and after my boyfriend mentioned that it seemed like I really had a good time. I told him that before my surgery I dreaded these kind of events because I felt so self conscious and worried about taking up too much space in the crowded room, and I simply got tired of standing all night. Now I have none of those thoughts/worries/issues. He was surprised to hear me say this - I guess I really did suffer in silence for years!
BANANA PANTS!

BANANA PANTS!

3
 

5 Months Done - Happy Happy Happy!

Today I am officially at the 5 month mark following my surgery. I've lost 65 lbs and I feel fantastic! I hit Onderland a week or so ago which was a huge goal. I am also into normal sized clothes and am delighted with the selection - actually a little overwhelmed to tell you the truth! I'm a much happier person too - which is a big part of why I did the surgery in the first place. In five months I've had very few problems. I've thrown up once after eating too quickly (learned my lesson and have never done it since). I've pretty much stuck to solid proteins although lately I am slipping a little and adding more carbs back in - but I get too full too fast from them. I do enjoy an occasional alcoholic beverage - but need to be mindful of the calories and adjust my intake accordingly. I do not drink carbonated beverages at all. I still miss my diet cokes sometimes, but have replaced them with iced tea and that does the trick. I am noticing my hair getting thinner lately so I am refocusing on the vitamins which I have been bad about taking.   I do think at this point I need to refocus and set some new goals. The weight isn't coming off as easily any more, and so it's time to up the effort. I've also noticed lately thinking about food more - which is something I never did in the early days. I seem to be hungrier - especially when driving home. I just noticed this trend so now I am filling up the water bottle before leaving work and using that to combat the feeling of hunger. I'm still sticking to three meals a day which is pretty easy.   Goals: Exercise 3x week for 30 minutes - this is a challenge for me as I have significant difficulties with basic activity because of my MS - but I have to do this.
Increase H2O consumption by half
Journal ALL caloric intake
  Things I look forward to doing in the next 5 months: Never see the 200's again (sustain wt. loss)
Go ziplining
Lay out at the beach
Wear a sleevless shirt
lower my BMI below the "obese" range
Get to the point where the weight I've lost is a higher number than the weight I have left to lose (be more than half-way to my goal)
  Ultimately I knew from the beginning that this journey was going to take a while. Sure - I had dreams about being one of those people who lose all the weight in 6-8 months, but I've also learned that I cannot allow myself to think that any pound lost (no matter how quickly or slowly) is anything but a success. When I hit the one year mark I hope to be very close to my goal - but if it takes longer then I will just keep on plugging along.
BANANA PANTS!

BANANA PANTS!

3
 

Update on Progress Towards Goals

At almost 5 months out I decided to update my goals - but first I wanted to see how well I had done. I am really surprised that I hit most of them already! I really do think that setting achievable goals is the way to go!!!   Here is a run down of my progress. I guess at 5 months I will need to reset completely new goals. Thanks to so many of you on this site who helped me establish these by psoting your experiences. It really helped. As you can see - the exercise one is the hardest for me!   Weight Goals: 1. Optimize weight loss in the first 3 months (this means following diet strictly - high protein low carb) - DONE 2. 10% BMI loss every 6 months (this will get me to goal 22 BMI by one year)-- DONE   Other Goals: Survive the first week! (DONE) Fit into NORMAL sized clothes!! (DONE) Not having to move the steering wheel up when I get in boyfriends car (DONE) 10 minutes on the elliptical machine Need to buy new bras (DONE - LAST WEEK) Enjoy looking in mirrors again (DONE) Can wear high boots (DIDN'T DO -BUT NOW ITS OUT OF SEASON) Someone who doesn't know about the surgery comments on my weight loss (DONE) The day I can tuck something in (DONE) The first week I exercise (on purpose for 30min x3 days) (DONE) The first week I do the same as above but for 5 days
BANANA PANTS!

BANANA PANTS!

4
 

Almost 5 Months ... And I Will Never Be The Same Again!

On May 17th I will hit the 5 month mark on my weightloss journey. I've officially lost 63 lbs since surgery, made it into Onderland (at last), experienced the dreaded stall, had my pants fall off because they were simply too big (I call it the Pants on the Ground Phenomena), cursed my scale which I swear was broken for a month, had my rings fall off my hand, gotten tons of great compliments, rediscovered mirrors, stopped hiding behind people in pictures, flown on Southwest planes where people actually chose the seat next to me even though there were many others open, been ushered out of the plus sizes section at a department store by a well meaning sales lady who thought I was lost, started wearing high heels again, eaten too much too fast and puked, gotten very drunk off of very little alcohol, learned how much I love solid proteins, started exercising again, and have started reaching out to old friends as part of my reconnection plan - which was part of my New Years resolution. My life is 100% happier. I cannot imagine NOT having this surgery. I look forward to what lies ahead, and I although I expect that I will be cursing my scale again at some point, I have faith that the remaining 73 lbs will be worked off in time. In many ways, I've restarted my life at age 40!
BANANA PANTS!

BANANA PANTS!

8
 

Goals

I'm 6 days out from surgery and I think it is time to list my goals. I've been thinking of theses a lot since I decided to take this plunge about a year ago. Some goals are weight based (of course), but some are not. I have tried to come up with goals that are achievable and motivating at the same time. I'm ok with adjusting goals if things don't happen the way I am expecting. Also - added in some fun goals that I have no control over just for fun. I know myself and know I need a lot of little things to keep me going (especially during days when the scale doesn't move). So, here goes:   Weight Goals: 1. Optimize weight loss in the first 3 months (this means following diet strictly - high protein low carb) 2. 10% BMI loss every 6 months (this will get me to goal 22 BMI by one year)   Other Goals: Survive the first week! Fit into NORMAL sized clothes!! Not having to move the steering wheel up when I get in boyfriends car 10 minutes on the elliptical machine Need to buy new bras Enjoy looking in mirrors again Can wear high boots Someone who doesn't know about the surgery comments on my weight loss The day I can tuck something in The first week I exercise (on purpose for 30min x3 days) The first week I do the same as above but for 5 days   I'll probably add more as I think of them. I'm actually thinking about making a weekly eating or exercise goal - but not there yet.
BANANA PANTS!

BANANA PANTS!

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