I have a few months to learn about this surgery and prepare for success. I do want to be successful and I don't want to take such a risk and not have it be to my advantage.
I want to figure out a way that I can get my mind and eating right in the 9mths I have until I'll be having surgery.
I've already cut out the sodas. Sweets, fast food, and not eating a balanced diet are my problems. Oh, and not enough exercise. It seems hard as hell to make these changes, and I'm not sure how i'm going to do them. I've written down several plans on paper, but the action part is the hardest.
I'll start off doing okay, and then revert back to those bad habits. How can I really get down and put in the work? I need more action, instead of more words on paper.
My motivation for action has been always low. My desire for success is at it's highest point. Desire=high, Action=low
How can I get these two things in balance with one another? That is my challenge in the months to come. I'm willing to take any suggestions given.
Anticipation is the title of one of my favorite collections of music by Trey Songz. I am totally anticipating when I will be sleeved. I've posted several times how I have to wait 12mths, and for some reason it seems like time is moving slow. I have some major health issues, and I really need to get this weight off. I'm currently yo yoin back and forth between being concious of what I eat, to just eating what ever. I recently learned that I have a dermoid cyst on my remaining ovary, which puts my goal of having more children in jeopardy.
About 4 years ago I have my left ovary removed due to having a large dermoid cyst that went undetected. I vowed to keep an eye on this one, and sure enough, here we go again. My goal was to lose weight, find prince charming, get married, and then we'd have 1 or 2 babies. I currently have a 19yr old son, which I had when I was 15. I have raised him to the best of my ability and for the most part he is a good kid. Peer pressure is a b***h! I think that is what is leading him right now, though I know he has the mind to making his own decisions. Anyway, I have wanted to have a child with a more traditional way, and be able to prepare for the child, decorate a nursery, and just have that joy filled experience that surrounds the adult experience of having a child.
Now, that I have this tumor, I am forced to think of other alternatives such as sperm donation. I would have never thought of this happening, but it has. I'm just hoping now I can lose the weight to even do that.
I'm so hoping that the tumor does not grow quickly, and that it just remains dormant to give me the opportunity of reaching my goals of losing weight, being healthy, and having a baby.
Everyone who reads these words please pray for me. I'm just really nervous, and stressed out about this.
