So many issues come with losing weight for me, I am petrified of the impact it could have on my relationship with my husband.
I have been married a year as of November to an amazing man, he supports me in every single way & has truly loved me no matter what. Since we met I have gained 80 pounds (& had two children) & not even that has phased him, yet I am afraid to lose weight. I am afraid that even at smaller sizes I will never be comfortable naked in front of him, that I will never stop wondering what he is thinking when he looks at me. I want to believe him when he tells me I'm beautiful not feel like he says it out of obligation.
I know it's not healthy, not healthy to feel so uneasy around the person you've committed to spend your life with, & I know it hurts him.
Part of this journey for me will be many hours in therapy, there is no point in having surgery & losing large amounts of weight if I can't get to the bottom of why I am like this in the first place. I have to admit I am a little frightened of that also, who knows what is hiding there, in the depths of my mind.
I wonder what the key is, to making sure my relationships don't fall apart. Maybe including him? If he is part of it maybe he can change and adjust with me.
I have a best friend.
We met in 5th grade & are now 25.
We are a match made in best friend heaven, perfectly weird complimenting personalities.
Since High School we have been on the journey (among others) of being fat together. We would eat constantly, joke about how fat we are. It was our thing, eating was our best social time, nothing is better than mindlessly stuffing your face while having great conversation. When we weren't eating we'd joke about how fat we were & that "tomorrow we'll get skinny" as we stuff another cheeseburger in our mouth. Sure we had our brief periods of "getting skinny", they never lasted. We'd get bored, so we'd eat. We'd get sad, so we'd eat. We'd get drunk, so we'd eat. We'd be social, so we'd eat. Everything in our life came back to food.
In September of this year I came to her with the idea of WLS & doing it together. We talked about how AMAZING it'd be to be skinny, but how scary it was, & what a huge life change.
The subject was dropped. December rolled around & it was brought up again. Maybe we could do it, a mutual friend had VSG 8 months prior & is already down 100 pounds! WE could lose a 100 pounds, if we just make the sacrifice. It was decided, WLS was what we needed, both individually & together.
In 2013 I will undergo the biggest change of my entire life & be lucky enough to do it WITH my best friend. I can't wait to actually see us skinny.
(If you'd like to look her up it's JPSnAZ, she a hoot)
I've been an avid blogger for years so I figured where better to start this than with a blog.
I'm 25, a wife, mother of two & severely overweight as I have been my entire life.
Earlier in 2012 a dear friend of mine got VSG, in the last 8 months I have watched her lose over 100 pounds & finally for once I feel inspired, I feel that I might have a chance to actually be thin, or thinner as it may be.
In a few short weeks (3 actually) my family of 4 will be moving across the country, home to Arizona & that is where my journey will begin, along side my best friend of over 10 years. We plan to do it together, finally stick to a lifestyle change, because lord knows we've started a million.
I'm nervous, & excited, & scared, & hopeful.
I can't wait to be healthy for my children, my husband, for myself.
