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Week 6 what it feels like

Week 6 well I made it this far. Some times I feel confused..so much information out there so many opinions. Weight wise I loset -5.1 pounds last week bringing my total to 24 with the 9 pounds I lost 3 days before the operation I am at -33. That is good. I still struggle emotionally I wonder am I normal? What is normal? I know everyone is losing faster then me. I am able to eat more them most. I have no problem eatting two eggs but I try and eat eggbeaters less calories. I limit meal time to 30 minute and find the only way I get kinda enough is to eat supper slow and stop when I am somewhat satisfied can eat the whole serving but choose not to.   Foods nothing has really made me sick fish, shrimp, sashimi, yogourt all good. I try to drink one protein drink sometimes two can only put half almond milk one cup and YUCK too think. Fluids some days better then others trying to get my 8 glasses in.   Cheats... Yes I am ashamed to say at 6 weeks I have already tried things I should not. I bought some Japanese pretzels supper thin 90 calories 11 carbs. I have been dying for something snacky. At whole foods I bought popcorn that is 35 calories a cup was shocked that I could eat 4 cups! Will stop buying that. Tried a small bite of a real cookie but tasted like crap so spit it out. If it doesnt taste good why bother? Like all things I am in a hurry to get to the next step need to take it step by step that is a challange for me.   some days I will be honest I do have buyers remoarse then I remember how unhealthy I was. Anyone who has not done the procedure yet I would reccomend writing down why your are doing this when later you second guess yourself you can read it. I am glad I did it and have to stay positive although you can see even in this area I am back and forth.   Dont know about anyone else but I feel very alone going through this. Every day I need to think check myself and make sure I am comitted. I still worry will it work? How come I can eat more then others? Why in the hell woud I cheat so early into it?   I have learned to take it one day at a time. I am not perfect but I am learning and trying I dont want to fail at this ~
Pink Butterfly

Pink Butterfly

3
 

Taking The Jump~

I have been on a weightloss journey for more then 3 years. For Two years I went to a weightloss specialist took metform, tried weightwatchers, Went on a medi diet of 500 calories even did a Betya shot 3 times a day (lost 2 pounds on that!) Felt discouraged...my husband cooked for me brought tiny lunches could never lose more then 20 pounds.   I moved back to Maui a year ago and kinda gave up was on and off on diffrent things but felt like I was doomed. I have PCOS I am not a big eatter but somehow my little 5'4 body reached 260 pounds. When I looked in the mirror I never saw myself anymore I felt buried. Who was this empty girl in the mirror?   I went to a weightloss seminar in Fla that was the first time I started to think about it. I found it the most depressing thing I had ever been too. I was sitting next to a man in a wheel chair around 600 pounds or so with an oxgen tank. He kept shoving food down his mouth the whole time. There were several others doing the same. Unfortanately I was so consumed and depressed by everything around me I ran out as soon as it ended. Thinking ahhh.....this is not for me. It stuck in my head why would someone eat at a weightloss seminair all the guestions were about food and stopping soda. Depressing. I did not hear any of the facts I missed that part left feeling defeated.   I have a good friend who is a huge sucuss with RYN but...I did not want that I decided to try to go to find out information again. I made two appointments one withh a general surgeon here and one with an expert who lives in San Fransico but has been coming to Maui for years. The first Dr. was very much anti sleeve but I liked the second doctor. After only one appoinment tons of reasearched I decided the sleeve was for me. I went to my first appointment in Sept and had the procedure done on Nov 15th.   My mom had already made plans to come I had some time off so decided why wait until next year? I decided to do it right away. Fear almost stopped me several times I was so emotional the weeks leading to the date. I mourned for food I felt like I was saying goodbye to an old friend. LOL   When I almost chickened out my husband asked me what is the problem I said I was afraid of change..He reminded me that age 23 I left the states and moved to Japan to Marry him. He told me change is my middle name and that I should say good bye to food and choose health it made me feel better.   I am 11 days Post op I just had to take the jump my journey is just begining, Hello Health and Julie I am going to find the NEW me soon!
Pink Butterfly

Pink Butterfly

1
 

Day 18 Rambling

Well I am almost at 3 weeks. Everyday I feel new emotions. I worry will this really work? Everyone I read about has no desire to eat I still think about food all the time. I also read that most people can only eat a bite or two I seem to be able to eat more. I ate a whole egg no problem. I actually have not had any problems and am very thankful. I am already on my first stall I feel like seriously? Already!! I know I lose weight slower then other people I am only 11 pounds down post op feel like I should be more.   Thinking I will go back to work on Thursday not sure if I am ready but...gotta go back sometime.   Have been feeling a little down. Wish there was a group near me or I had a freind who I was going through this with. I am obessed about my new sleeve but who really wants to hear about it all the time? I guess I just have to take it day by day~ If anyone wants a weightloss cyber buddy let me know
Pink Butterfly

Pink Butterfly

2
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