its sooo nice to see you again! (NOT) So, I am about 10 days before surgery date and I cannot keep these crazy thoughts out of my head. I have been advised to stop all medication except for a multivitamin, and that includes stopping my anxiety medication. I feel like my anxiety and head is all over the place with crazy thoughts of the good and the bad 'could happens' of surgery...
Am I making the right decisions?
Am I loosing enough weight pre-op?
Will the surgeon say no if I do not loose enough weight? (No # was given)
What if there are complications?
Will I be able to take care of my son and house after surgery? (I will only have support for maybe a day or two)
What will life after surgery be like?
Just all of these thoughts swirling in my head...I am hoping that this is normal, and I am not the only one going through all of these thoughts.
I am going to call tomorrow to discuss being on my anxiety meds until surgery, and if not, other options...
-anxious mess!
December 5, 2012.
The first day of the rest of my life.
The last few days have been very dark days.
I've been in a stall for a about 5 days now, and this is my second stall in 8 weeks.
My highest weight was 242.2 and starting weight was 239.8.
I've been stuck at 205 + or - 2-3 lbs.
Today is my 8 week surgiversary. Today I am feeling much different than the few weeks, even the last 5 days. I have learned so much about my body as well as food, nutrition, and life in these last few weeks.
Today I hit 100 oz of fluids. Prior to today I might have hit 50-60 on a good day.
Today I hit my protein.
Today I walked over 2 miles in under 40 minutes.
Today I ran on the treadmill. I haven't 'ran' in almost 10 years...
Today I made healthy choices.
I have had sooo many struggles.
EVERY SINGLE MEAL is a challenge. (anyone else?)
Every meal is a new opportunity to choose the best food for my body.
I am sooo far from perfect, and have struggled every single day.
Today I put the scale away.
Today I will focus on being healthy.
Today I will focus on exercise and going forward.
Today I will focus on being happy and living in the moment.
My hunger has NOT gone away, however I can say that it is NOT the same kind of hunger as pre-surgery.
Music has been my healing power.
I hate plain water, and most protein shakes.
I have learned that I am a strong woman, but I have a lot of dark demons that haunt me, I have many issues that I am always going to struggle with, but I am NOT going to let them beat me or get me down...I have done that for way too long.
Thank GOODNESS for the amazing people who post on this website as they are and have been extremely supportive and I have learned so much from the many others who are taking a walk on this journey. I don't always post, but I read others posts and comments daily.
Cheers to the rest of my healthy life!
