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Truth or Consequences

This is a little different from my previous posts in that I'm not going to post about my new stomach, or how much I've lost, or food. I want to talk about telling people about my surgery.   I've been very selective so far about telling people about it. Not at all because of how they might react, but generally because its none of their business. Of course my wife and kids know about it, and even though I told them in confidence, I'm certain that most of my wife's friends (and maybe some acquaintences) probably know. I just know my wife   The part that's a little tricky is when when MY friends ask how i've lost the weight. It's easy to say I just don't eat as much or that I'm going to the gym or its a New Year's resolution - all of which aren't lies. But then there's a part of me that really wants to tell them about the surgery - only because I don't want to have to hide anything. So far I've told them on a case by case basis, just making a decision at that moment to tell them or not. But I'm certain a time will come when a friend will approach me asking why I told the truth to another friend and not him. Oh well. I guess the answer is that I didn't feel comfortable telling him at the time he asked! I don't lose sleep over it.   Still the best decision of my life!   More soon, Joe
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6 weeks out - liking this new body!

I'm now 6 weeks post-op and feeling great. My surgery date was November 20th, but it seems like years ago. I'm Down 30 lbs which I think is pretty much on track with what my Doc says I should be losing. I think lower BMIs tend to not lose as quick, and I'm OK with that. I'm trying not to be a slave to the bathroom scale, and I said before surgery I never would. But man it's tough to stay away from it! I said I was only going to weigh myself once a week, but I'm finding myself sneaking into the bathroom for a quick weight check. I'll do measurements again a the 2-month mark.   I'm getting used to life with my new stomach, or stomach size rather. There have been a couple hiccups along the way (pun intended), but nothing that makes me regret this life-changing decision. Some of the things that I read on this website and others from my Doc are making sense to me now. My doc used to say that the sleeve is only a tool that is one of many that need to be used to achieve and maintain weight loss. I get that now; Even though I'm restricted by the amount I can eat at any one time, it's still entirely possible to make bad food choices and eat *almost* continuously throughout the day. Sure portion size is limited, but I'm hungry in about 2 hours. I use the word "hungry" here not as head hunger, but as my body really needing food. this is something new for me - and weird. But it's as if my body is getting used to using food as a source of nutrition, rather than my brain using it as a source of comfort or stress reliever. Yes, I have had head hunger twice in the past few weeks and it didn't work out very well. the problem was not in the quantity of food I ate, but the speed with which I ate it. I just can't eat fast anymore! So the feeling of overeating, I mean really overeating, is not pleasant. I'm ok for about 5 -10 minutes, but then it starts - light sweat accross the forehead, heart races a little, dizzy. I don't know exactly what dumping is, but maybe that's what happened to me.   Now I have to eat very slowly in small bites and pay attention to the small signals my body gives me telling me to stop (I read this on this forum and didn't believe it). I might have the occassional burp which generally clears the way for a little more food to enter, or the occassional hiccup, but I notice a very slight tingling sensation and a VERY light sweat on the forehead. Nothing major, but similar to the very, very, first stages when you're about to be sick (vomit sick, although I never have). I need to pay attention and wait a couple minutes to continue eating. Usually it goes pretty well, but I'm eating small portions of food almost continually during the day. Yes, I've followed the Doc's plan about 98%.   I've determined that I can take 4 swallows of water before I get the light sweat feeling. I've got that one down and never drink more than 4 straight gulps from my water jug. No problem. Other than that, I've had no issues at all with salad, some veggies I've tried, any type of meat as long as its moist and cut into small pieces. I did have a little cheat last week and ate a good handful of toasted plantain chips...maybe not the smartest move, but they went down fine. But I saw the Doc for a followup visit yesterday and he said to be very careful and limit carbs to 30 - 40 grams a day. He said anything over that would slow my weight loss. I didn't have my whole wheat toast with cream cheese this morning.   I'm going to the gym around the corner from my apartment 4-5 times per week and walking about 40 minutes on the treadmill. I think its a good time to start exercising (sp?) because even though the gym is full with all of the "This is the Year I'm finally going to lose weight" promise makers, I feel comfortable there because most have a bit to lose. But I feel great, and even though I'm already cleared by my Doc for any physical exercise, I'm going to wait a couple more weeks before getting into some strength training.   I'm on my way! More later,   Joe P.S. My libido has returned full strength, yeah! (and stamina is much better too
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Day 21 Post Op - So this is food?

So its been exactly 3 weeks since my surgery and I'm doing great. I've lost about 20 lbs in 21 days and Dr. says I'm right on track. I feel as normal as I did before surgery now, I have my full energy, and I'm able to eat mushy foods and allowed beverages with no nausea (I've never had any nausea anyay). I pulled a pair of Levi's out of the closet, ones that I could fit into 2 years ago, and they fit again. In fact, they're a little baggy. It's a great feeling and I can definately see a big change in the size of my face and feet.   I have to say that I've followed my Dr's diet to the T: only soup with no chunks and milk-like consistency, water, and some diet drinks (non-carbonated) for the first 2 weeks after surgery. By the time day 15 came around I would have killed for a solid piece of food. Biggest issues now are continuing to get 60oz of water in each day, and practicing eating small bites and chewing completely. As for the water, its not just the Dr telling me to drink it, but I've known for a long time that drinking to stay hydrated is good for anyone. The difference with the sleeve is that I have to sip water throughout the day. With the smaller stomach, I can't just wait til evening to start then try guzzling a quart of water. Plus, I'm a kidney stone factory and they say staying hydrated is one of the best thing you can do for preventing stones.   Saturday was my first experience with overeating with the sleeve. I'm finding that I must eat every 2-3 hours. If not, I get too hungry. I was at Jason's Deli and ordered the Tomato Basil soup and a small amout of hummus from the salad bar. But as I sat down to eat, I was concentrating so much on relieving my hunger that I forgot about eating slowly and chewing completely. Mistake! I began sweating, got a nauseous,dizzy feeling and a heartburn like sensation but without the burning. The feeling left in 5-10 minutes, and I thought I'd learned my lesson. Well, not so easy. This is one that I'll have to work on.   more soon... Joe P.S. Thank God insurance is covering most of this. Bill from hospital arrived today... $46,000 !!
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Day 9 - Starting To Feel More Normal

I've written this before in previous blog entries, but I have been very fortunate so far with how the whole Sleeving process has gone, Everything since the beginning back in May, from the initial visits, the nutritionist visits, the insurance approval process, the surgery itself, right through today has gone amazingly well for me. i've followed this support site long enough to know that it hasnt been as smooth a process for others.   Today I feel as "normal" as I did before surgery, except without the anxiety. It was one of the first days that I actaully forgot I had a sleeve. There is no more pain, no heartburn, no tightness in the chest, no difficulty swallowing pills. The only thing I feel is the sleeve doing its job - making me feel full after 4-6 ounces of soup. Yes, I'm still on liquids and will be for another 5 days or so. My ususal diet for the past 8 days has been 60oz of water, sometimes more, 60oz of protein which equates to 2+ "Oh Yeah!" shakes throughout the day, and 8 -12 ounces of soup such as tomato basil (I put in blender again to make sure it's completely liquid) or chicken soup without chicken. I dont feel hungry at all, but would love to have some solid food now. Not sure why, but sometimes I find myself torturing myself unconsciously by watching the Food Network on TV - for hours! Can you believe it?!   Last night I had a first: I wandered into the kitchen and out of sheer habit opened the refridgerator door. I quickly remembered my sleeve, but spotted an unopened bottle of my protein shake. Without thinking, I unwrapped the top and put the bottle to my mouth. I began chugging and drank until about half of the 14oz bottle was gone. I capped the bottle and returned to the living room. At that point, I had 2 things I thought occurred simultaneously; I felt a quick flash of nausea and a remembered I was sleeved and had a 4-6 oz stomach, I felt very full - not as if food were coming up my esophagus, but full like bloated full. The nausea continued for a minute or two, but then gradually disappeared. There was no real consequence of this, except I had to relax a few minutes until the nausea subsided. I'm sure that won't be the last time that happens.   I have the feeling that food will eventually take on a different meaning. I don't think the urge to gorge myself *sometimes* will ever leave me, at least that's what some long-time sleevers have said. But I would like to think that eventually I will be able to enjoy, savor and truly appreciate a well prepared quality meal for its combination of flavors, textures, and aromas instead of viewing it as only a means to the satisfaction of being full or overfull. We'll see.   Up to today, no regrets whatsoever about doing this. This was a well thought out, researched, planned life-changing decision and I was prepared to have to live with any negative consequences. Thank God, I havent experienced any yet. I'm down about 10lbs post op, but I wont be a slave to the scale - I know if I do the right things, follow Dr's instructiions and exercise I'll loose the weight. Headaches are gone and I feel great. More soon.   ~Joe
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New Sleeve - Day 6

If i could sum up last few days since getting sleeved back on Nov 20th, I'd have to say that overall things are going much better than I expected. My first 2 days after getting home from the hospital were a piece of cake. I know I was very lucky in this regard because I've been reading this support site for many months and know many new sleevers really struggle the first few days so I consider myself fortunate.   Before getting sleeved, it's so hard to imagine what the physical sleeve will actually feel like after the operation. It's like one day you go from having the stomach you've known all of your life to one that's a fraction of that size. So it's not only the size that changes, but the funcitonality too. Yes, I can "feel" that my sleeve takes up less space in my abdominal cavity than my full-size stomach did. it's weird, but I'm getting used to it, and I like it. It makes me feel "smaller". Sorry for all of the quotes here, but I want everyone to know that it's my interpretation of how I feel and that's the best way I can describe it. Not everyone's experience will be the same.   That said, there were a couple of things that I noticed during the first few days that I wanted to note for myself in this blog and for anyone else it might help. I know I was CRAZY with questions like this before surgery.   As i said, the first 2 days were easy, I had only a little problem getting my 60 oz of water and 60 oz of protein in. The problem with having this requirement is that you can't play catch up. you have to drink constantly throughout the day. It's not like you can go with no water and protein during the day then drink all that's necessary in the evening, there is simply no room in the sleeve to do it. I've become much better at pacing myself as far as that's concerned.   After day 2, my energy level dropped a bit. Nothing drastic, but I felt a little sluggish and I felt hungry, especially at night! My wife made a stop at Jason's Deli and picked up their tomato basil soup and garden vegetable. She brought it home and ran it through the blender until everything was liquified. It was like filet mignon! I'm Not sure why, but it tasted incredible! Maybe after so many days of protein shakes, anything would have tasted great. I have noticed that strangely my sense of smell seems to be keener...reality or my imagination? not sure.   Around day 4, I started to develop severe headaches. I mean migrain headaches where light and sound just drive you nuts. It continued unbearably through day 4 and on day 5 I called the Dr. office. It first I thought I was dehydrated. I read a lot about dehydration on this site and wanted to be sure it wasnt that, headache being one of the symtoms. But then I remembered that I'd been getting the required 60 oz of water and even more sometimes. Apart from this blazing headache and feeling a little dizzy, I felt pretty good. I mean good spirits, good energy level, happy with the sleeve, etc. So I went into the Dr and they thought it could be a number of different things including caffeine withdrawl ( I doubted it), sinus infection, body adjustment from lack of food etc. I figured they would suggest all of those. So they did some blood work and they're suppodsed to get back with me. In the meantime, they gave me some pain meds, but not for the stomach for the headaches. I helps a little but even today I woke with some headache, not as bad as 2 days ago, but it's still there. The only other possble things that Dr didnt mention were the type of protein (which yesterday I was convinced it was the cause), and anesthisea. I had read things about that having some headache type effects even days after the surgery. This is one I'm still trying to solve. I still don't know the cause. Today i can feel it, but not bad. Other than that, I feel great. No hunger at all yesterday or today! yeahh.   Oh, almost forgot to mention the sore throat - one thing that Dr really mention too much. as I might have mentioned, around day 3 I started to get a sore throat. Not deep in the throat, but more like in the back of the palate. OK, I thought, great, I'm trying to recover from sleeve surgery and now I get to deal with a throat infection. Not at all. Although they *may* have mentioned it, I certainly dont remember, during the surgery they put a breathing tube down your throat while you;re asleep. I felt nothing when I came out of surgery, but then day 3 I really felt it. It was like the roof of my mouth had been bruised or something. Feels like a sore throat and I wish they would have reminded me of that. Other than that, no other negative symptoms. So far, likin' the sleeve.   Ok, now back to drinking my soup...only 8 days before I can have soft (mushy) foods...I can't wait!   Almost forgot to mention..down 7 lbs since getting sleeved 6 days ago!   More later,   Joe
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Leaving The Hospital

The morning after my surgey I still couldnt believe how well things were going for me. The Dr and nurses were surprised too. Beginning at 6am, I had to start drinking 1 ounce of water and 1 ounce of protein shake per hour. This was my first REAL experience with getting a feel for the new sleeve. I knew it had been sewn togehter with staples (and some type of glue I think), so I wanted to be "gentle" with it. I didnt know if I could "break" it or not, but I still wanted to be careful with it. So the first sips of water I took were so small that the water barely wet my lips. At first when I swallowed, I felt the urge to burp. I took another small sip and a small burp followed. As I continued to drink, I begin to feel the true size of my new stomach. The fullness came as a sort of tighness just below my sturnam. When I felt that, I knew to stop drinking for a few minutes. The good thing was that I quickly learned that the stomach emptied pretty quickly, so I could adjust the time between sips and not get too full. I Before I could leave the hospital, they wanted to make sure I could consistently get 2 ounces of water and protein shake down per hour. This is because my Dr required me to get 60 oz of water and 60 oz of protein shake in per day. I cant say at that point that I knew the real size of my stomach because of course I hadnt eaten solid food yet. But I could tell that it would be a challenge getting the 60 and 60 in each day.
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First Day With My New Stomach

I arrived in my hospital room sometime around 9pm after staying in the recovery room for what was about an hour but felt like minutes. Immediately there were several nurses around me setting things up and taking my vitals, putting an oxygen mask on me, and removing the IV that I'd had since the pre-op room. It wasnt uncomfortable, but I was glad to have it out of my arm.   My wife graciously decided to sleep on the "couch" in my hospital room and thank God she did becasue the nurses were giving me instructions whcih I doubt I would have remembered on my own. One of the nurses brought me some liquid medications, an antibiotic I think. Before I swallowed the liquid, I thought about what it was going to feel like going into my stomach. I took a very small sip and and could feel the liquid going down into my new, smaller stomach. I had the strangest sensation that there was an empty space on the left side of my abdomen. Very hard to describe, except for weird. Even though my Dr. had told me my stomach would hold about 4 ounces, I still had no idea what that capacity would feel like. I didn't really experience that until morning. The thing that I was most grateful for was that I had no nausea whatsoever. Apart from the groggy feeling from the anesthesia, I actually felt pretty good and what little pain I had was being controlled with pain medication.   My surgeon had informed me since the beginning that he would force me to be active right after the surgery so I knew he'd have me up and walking that same night. He did, and I took a couple laps around the halls of the hospital floor without too much effort. We didnt sleep more than a couple hours that night. Not because of pain or nausea, but because the Dr was a real stickler for the nurses to take vital signs and give medications every 2 hours. It seemed like someone was in and out of my room all night! Plus, while I was in the bed, they used the electric clot massager things on my legs which made it nearly impossible to sleep with. My wife and I didnt sleep much that first night in the hospital, but all in all it wasnt as bad as I was expecting. The following afternoon I would be allowed to go home to begin life with my new stomach.
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Awaiting The Big Show

At some point about 2 hours before the surgery time, I sort of "accepted" that it was really going to happen. Of course I've been planning this for 6 months, but the entire process had gone so smoothly, that when the time came, I couldnt really believe it. And with my last minute nerves, I had visions the day before of backing out (see previous blog entry).   When I arrived at the hospital 2 hours before surgery time, they got me back to the pre-op room right away. The nurse went through a checlist to make sure all paper-work was done and signed off by me and Dr. Pirrello. and checked my vitals. then another checklist to confirm which medications I was taking. Finally, another checklist to make sure I didnt have a pacemaker, hidden jewelry in weird (non-visible) places, metal hip, etc. After a few minutes, she gave me instructions to use the bathroom if I needed, strip all the way down, and put on these loooong white hose/nylons which are used to help prevent blood clots. So after I had put the very tight hose on (they are thigh - highs so being a guy I felt a weird and getting the standard hospital gown on, the nurse came back in and had me lay flat on the exam table while she put leg-length foam-straps covering the hose. I later learned that these foamy staps had little inserts in them that variably espanded and contracted to help control blood flow and prevent clots durning and after the surgery. The best way to decribe the action of these things is that they're like a combination of a message recliner chair like you see in Brookstone stores and a blood pressure cuff for the way it expands. Then she shaved my entire stomach which tickled like hell. I laughed uncontrollably and so did she.   I soon had a fast visit from the anesthesiologist, my surgeon's assistant, and finally my surgeon. Each helped to relax me, but didn't really give me any new information. They're a very good team and I had always been impressed and appreciative of the time my surgeon spent explaining things to me. My pre-op office visit with my surgeon, Dr. Pirrello, the week before surgery was 2 hours long! He's great.   Verrrry slowy I began to feel relaxed. Although no one had said so, I was sure they had started me on type of relaxation medication. Felt like a Valium or drinking 2 beers. I'm glad they did. Then they allowed my wife to come back to the pre-op room for a few minutes. By that time I was even more relaxed. But we spent a few minutes together talking, laughing and praying. Someone peeked their head in the door indicating that the time had arrived. It was time to head to the big show.   At this point, my memory starts to go in and out a little. I remember (mostly) being wheeled into the operating room on the gerny then being laid onto another table with bright lights above. But again, it seemed like I was going in and out of consciousness. it was dream-like. I could hear several people around me, and also remember the anesthesiologist whispering to me from behind. I think she might have said "you're going to sleep now.", and I was out. Then they gave me the sleeve I presume   I came out back into consciousness slowly, much as i had gone out. So I remember talking with my wife breifly, then I was in my hospital room in a bed. After that, I became fully conscious, but didnt feel any pain. More soon...
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Sleeve Surgery Is Today!

Today is sleeve day. Hopefully the first day of the rest of my life. Woke up last night sweating in a panic attack. It was terrible and I had thoughts of backing out. I mean, who in their right mind would voluntarily have 85% of their stomach removed?! But once I get past that thought I remember how good I'll feel and how much better my health will be. Today I feel good, upbeat, nervous, and excited but still have a sort of surreal feeling like I'm dreaming this is going to happen.   I've prepared as much I could have prepared; read all of the info on the web, talked with people who actually have the sleeve, and used the information from this website. I took the "before" pictures and body measurements last night. Now all that's left is to have it done.   I'll write some more blog entries as soon as i can after the surgery because I know I have a lot question going in and hopefully I can help someone else by sharing my experience.   I'll see you all on the other side!   Joe
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