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10-13-2007

Only five more days to go. So hard to believe. I am excited. Sometimes it doesn't even seem like it's real. It's so hard to believe I'm actually taking this step in my life. I have for the first time so many hopes and thus am beginning to dream about the future. Before I just focused on the next meal or thing I could put in my mouth. My husband has never known me thin. The smallest I've been since we've been together is about 230. Which actually I feel pretty good at that weight. I still feel attractive for the most part. I quit feeling attractive a long time ago. It is going to be so much fun to watch the transformation take place. It has already begun. My hubby said today he could tell I've lost weight. Nice to hear. If I wasn't having surgery I'd probably start to sabotage myself since I'd received a compliment. That's what I've done in the past. Once people start to notice I start to feed myself a little more each day until the weight is back. But not this time. This time I have begun to visualize what I used to look like in high school and have begun picturing myself that size again. I want it. I have a lot of things that I planned to do in my life that have gotten put to the way side because of my weight. Horses is one of the major things. It's always been a dream. but now I have them but can't do anything with them because my butt is inhibiting my agility, movement and motivation to go out and do anything with them. But that is going to change. And in 5 days I am getting the tool to help me achieve this goal. How great it is! I've got to put the baby to bed. I haven't ridden the bike yet today. If hubby goes to bed early enough I will ride it then. I consumed 840 cals today. Take care of yourselves! :car:   http://tickers.tickerfactory.com/ezt/d/4;41;93/st/20071018/e/surgery/dt/-2/k/68c5%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Ca%20href=http://www.tickerfactory.com/weight-loss/wwNunKT/%20target=_blank%3E
tizen33

tizen33

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10-12-2007

I didn't write last night. By the time all was said and done for the day I was just too pooped to get on the computer. I am down to 273 this morning! That's good. I've lost 23 lbs in the last 24 days. As I said befor not the healthiest way to lose weight but it has to be done for the pre-op requirements my surgeon has. I am starting to relax about meeting the goal of 25 lbs. I have 4 days until my last pre-op appt. and I have to be within 5 lbs of the goal and I am sooo...:clap2: I'm starting to do some of the extra housework and planning for my surgery. I've got to kick out all the laundry I can today so that I only have a couple loads next week. My bedroom is the biggest challenge. Ever since I had my baby it has become kind of a storage area/bedroom. And Angelina is now 16 months old. I've done some of it but I want it to be a bedroom again. I also want my house in good arrangement for when my Grandmother comes up. She is the cleanest, most organized person I've ever met. Unfortunately I didn't inherit that from her. But I like to put on a half assed attempt when she comes to visit. I don't want her to feel all those chores and special cleaning techniques she taught me growing up went to waste. :car: She is really the best though. I love and appreciate her sooo much. I've got lots of shopping to do to prep. my cupboards for the surgery. We are doing some of it tomorrow and I'll do the rest when I go into Boise for my last pre-op appt. Cals consumed yesterday: 820 Rode bike 30 minutes. Today consumed 900 cals and rode bike 30 min.    
tizen33

tizen33

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10-10-2007

I called to doctors office today ask about how they thought my pre-op diet was going considering how much I've lost. The gal there said as long as I've lost at least 20 of the 25 pounds I'd be okay. I told her that I'd switched to just liquids and no more veggies a few days ago and that I was only consuming right at 1000 cals a day. She said that the diet is only supposed to give you around 800 cals a day. I told her that the three slimfasts alone were 690cals. Then the protein shake is 220 cals and with the skim milk it's 300 cals. So right there is 990 cals. The sheet that I got said to use 2 scoops of the protein shake mix and that must be wrong for the kind of shake mix I am using. If I only used one scoop then my cals per day would be 880 cals. Anyway- I guess I'm still just nervous that my weigh in will be messed up. I've heard (on Oprah) that a persons weight can fluctuate 5 lbs in a day. So what if my afternoon appointment my weight is 5lbs heavier than it is at home and my surgery date gets moved because of it. I'd be pissed. I have worked so hard these past 3 weeks. So today, since I had already had my 2 scoop protein shake by the time I called the office, I only had two slim fasts. So my calorie intake today was 790. I didn't ride my bike but I spent around 2 hours outside hauling wood around and building a fence for the horses we got today. My hip that hasn't bothered me in a while is really achy tonight. I'll be glad to be lighter so hopefully it won't bother as much anymore. It's the reason I ride a bike instead of walking. When it acts up I gimp around and look ridiculous. I'm so tired after today. My mind feels fried. I think it's from the lack of nutrition I'm getting. But I will do what it takes to get this done. I wanted to mention befor I forget (being that could happen at anytime) that since being on the pre-op diet I've noticed that I am at times very moody. I also get headaches. I was going to say one other thing but I really can't remember. There goes that absentmindedness again.:phanvan Well, goodnight all. Good luck on your journeys.:car:  
tizen33

tizen33

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10-1-2007

Well I'm very excited, today I got approved by my insurance. :clap2: No help from the gal who was supposed to get me my 2004 medical records. The surgeons office sent in 2005-2007 hoping they would approve it and they did. If I was nice I would call the gal from my previous Dr's office to tell her not to worry about the 2004 records but I'm not. Actually I am nice and almost called her but figured it would be good to have them just in case. I just like to pretend I'm a mean vengful person once in a while. :heh: I have two pre-op appointments on the 16th. One is with the surgeon and the other is with the hospital. Fun! Fun! At times I just can't believe this is really happening. I rode my 30 minutes today (I upped the difficulty on the bike). Cals today 1330. Take care all!  
tizen33

tizen33

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10-09-2007

Today was busy. I sold my older horse in preparation for two young mustangs we are getting tomorrow. They are beautiful but need a lot of training. Another challenge. I'm pretty much used to just liquids. It's day 21 of the pre-op diet. My tummy still complains every once in a while but after the first three days it did get better. I found a good list of things to get done and to purchase befor surgery. When I go to Boise for my last pre-op appointment next Tuesday I will be going shopping to make sure I'm all set up. I'm too tired today to be too excited or nervous. I rode my bike 30min. and consumed 1020 cals.   http://tickers.tickerfactory.com/ezt/d/4;41;93/st/20071018/e/surgery/dt/-2/k/68c5%3Cbr%20/%3E%3Ca%20href=http://www.tickerfactory.com/weight-loss/wwNunKT/%20target=_blank%3E
tizen33

tizen33

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10-08-2007

Today was good. My hubby and I went and got some hay for the animals for the winter. That was my exercise for the day. Bucking hay is quite the task. They are 100lb bales. I've lost 20lbs now. 20 days 20lbs doesn't seem healthy but when the surgeon says lost 25lbs in 30days in order to get the surgery I try my damnedest. 10 more days until surgery!! yippee!! Take care all!! Oh- cals today 1020.  
tizen33

tizen33

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10-07-2007

Today was better on the all liquids. My body did get numb to the fact it's not receiving solid food. So it's day 19 of my pre-op diet. I got below the 279 I was stuck at for a few days. I've now lost 18lbs of the 25lbs I'm supposed to lose. I've only rode my bike for 15min. so far today. I might get the other 15 in later but if not that's okay. I usually relax a little one day a week. Tomorrow will mark the 10 day countdown until surgery. I just try not to think about it too much. Yet at night when I'm trying to fall asleep (and can't) it's all I think about. Hope everyone is doing good. Calories today: 1020    
tizen33

tizen33

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10-04-2007

Well- I rode the bike for 30 minutes last night after hubby went to bed. Haven't rode today..... once again in a funk. Vegetables are pissing me off. The shakes are okay but I really just want to eat something good. Pizza would be nice, or a chicken salad, or a shrimp stir fry. Okay I gotta stop!!!:confused: I'm discouraged today because for the past couple of days I've gotten on the scale and it hasn't gone down. It is at 279. Now it is my T.O.M. but that's almost over and I'm stressing out. I'm supposed to lose 25lbs by the 18th- probably the 16th because that's when my last appt. with the Doctor is befor the surgery. I've lost 16 but now I only have 14 days to lose 9 lbs. Doesn't seem quite likely. If my surgery date gets moved back I'm gonna be pissed. I have family coming into town (from another friggin' state) to help out with the baby. STRESS!!!! I'm gonna call the Doctors office on Monday to see if there is anything else I can or should do. Haven't rode the bike today.... yet. Consumed 1400 cals. Later.... okay I'm back. I've given myself an attitude adjustment. I rode the bike for 30 min. I also have refocused. I can do this. I need to focus on drinking the amount of water I'm supposed to each day- I haven't been very good about this up until now. Also I think I'm not going to eat squash anymore. It is pretty high cal for a veggie. I have come this far and I can't get complacent now. I must persevere!! There that's all I have to say until tomorrow!  
tizen33

tizen33

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1-3-2007

Three days and no smoking. Yeah! I have been being a good bandee. I still eat between 1200-1300 calories a day. I will see on the eighth if the doc wants to fill me up some more. I had a hard time with some turkey today. It was kinda stringy and I thought that I chewed it enough but apparently not. I think I experience a small amount of slimming although and didn't (and have never) PB'ed. It hurt hella bad and took a good 10-15 minutes to pass. I've been riding my bike and have also incorporated sit ups and stretching into my daily regiment. Tomorrow's my weigh day. We'll see if 3 days of being good will show up there. If not I know by next week I will see some results. Until next time.
tizen33

tizen33

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1-11-2008

Wow, it's been over a week since I've gotten a chance to even log on. I had started a new job and ended replacing someone and have worked the past nine days straight. Tonight was my Friday- Thank God!!! I am so tired. Things are good. I have been exercising. And being that I work so much (even though I'm a cook) I don't have the appetite to eat. I am to busy. Leads me to realize that I eat out of boredom. I don't even have to be hungery. Now that I am working, I've only been eating between 800-1200 calories a day. The weight has begun to come off again. Yippee!! This morning I was down to 251. I've lost a total off 44lbs so far. I have so far to go, but I am almost to the 50lb marker! I've got to get to bed. I'm too pooped to write anymore :eek: Hope everyone is doing good out there is band-land!   Take care!
tizen33

tizen33

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1-1-2008

Since my second fill I have noticed that I get full a lot quicker. I also have to really make sure to chew chew chew or else OUCH! I haven't though lost any weight since my second fill. This is due to the fact that I have been nothing but naughty. I have been drinking a lot the past two weeks (empty calories and lots of them). I have battled depression on and off in my life. I hate the idea of being on anykind of medication. It's just not my thing. Anyway, I knew the depression was coming back even before my surgery. And it took me until last week to finally go in and see my doctor and get put back on anti-depressant. It just had to be done. I was becoming quite self-destructive. I even started smoking again after having quit back in 2004. Last night hubby and I went out for the new year. We had a good time. And today I have joined the masses with my new years resolution to not smoke, follow the band rules, not drink and to exercize regularly. Granted today is day one but so far so good. I got the patch to help with the smoking. I'm addressing my depression which will help with the rest of my resolutions. We'll have to see how things go. I hope everyone has a wonderful 2008. Take care all.
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

-10-30-2007

Today was a better day. The morning ritual of getting on the scale had better results. I won't post what they were until Thursday, which is my weigh-in day. But it makes me feel better. I am ready to be off of liquids. 8 more days to go. Then I'm on mushies for at least three weeks. My caloric intake can go up a bit then. I'm pretty sure my body is freaking out a bit from the lack of calories for the past 6 weeks. I've tried to up my intake to closer to 800 a day. I'm not hungry. I miss eating though. Oh- I made my hubby chicken fried steak tonight with country gravy and had a couple of spoonfuls of the gravy. YUM!! I make a mean homemade country gravy. Good thing I only make any kind of gravy every couple of months. It could be addicting. I am so greatful to have the band. I am also greatful that I am in the mind space to work with it. As I've stated befor I don't ever expect to be super skinny but I will be healthy again. Sometimes I feel impatient and wish it was instantanious. But getting my butt this big didn't happen overnight so I must be patient. I'm still having trouble drinking the amount of water I'm suposed to. I've drank around 30oz so far tonight and am gonna try to get another 12-16oz down befor I go to bed. I consumed 760 calories today. Goodnight!
tizen33

tizen33

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