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9-2-2007

OMG I am so glad to be home. New Jersey and New York were a great experience but I love the small little town I live in and my little house and all the land we have. I love the quiet. I like the drivers more. The biggest traffic we deal with here is the occational train. I am just so glad to be home. My friends wedding was beautiful and I was so lucky to get to be there for her. Of course I cried:cry~ It was a beautiful ceremony. And she is so happy. Looking at the pics from her wedding were depressing. I guess that they will make good "befor" photos. The skirt and top I chose was brown and off white with a leafy pattern. I saw the photos and I looked like a damn tapestry. Big as one too. The other thing that was depressing was flying on the airplane. The last time I flew I weighed more than 50lbs less and my butt fit in the seats. This time it was tight. I couldn't get my seatbelt fastened. So I just pretended to have it on. I did okay until the last flight and somehow that damn flight attendent knew and brought me an extention belt. I was soooo embarassed. I also was a little irritated. Like how many times to you read in the news paper about a plane that crashed but luckily everyone was wearing their seatbelts? And as far as the reasoning that it could help keep me in the seat during turbulance doesn't fly either concidering how tightly my butt was wedged in those seats. I wasn't going anywhere. This is probably the first time I've felt truely ashamed and embarassed in public by my weight. I don't ever want to experience that harshness again. I am waiting til the end of this week to call and check to see if my primary doc. has recieved all the test results to be forwarded to the surgeon. I just found out I'm laid off until Oct. 1st so it'd be great if it could happen by the end of the month but I doubt it with the pre-op weight loss, etc. Maybe I should call the surgeon and see if I can come weigh in this week and start the pre-op befor all the tests are in. I'll decide in the morning. I have been up for 17 hours and only had 4 hours of sleep last night. I hope all of you are doing well on your journies. Goodnight:notagree

tizen33

tizen33

 

8-27-2007

I am leaving for New Jersey tomorrow for 5 days. My best friend is getting married. It will be my first time to visit the East. I am very excited to see her. I am not so excited about flying for that long although it sure beats driving. And it will be my first time away from my one year old daughter for more than 24hrs. That is my biggest worry. She is just the joy of my life. She is also a lot of the reason for me getting the band. I want to be healthy not only so I will be able to keep up with her as she gets older but also to be a good example. Is it silly for me to worry that she'll forget me??? I never knew how much having a child can change so much about a person. Everyone keep up the good journey! And I'll write again when I return from mine.

tizen33

tizen33

 

8-25-2007

Sooooo..... after Monday nights support group all my pre-op requirements will have been met!!:clap2: The sleep study was interesting. For those of you who may have to have one in the future. You get wires stuck on your legs. So if your like me and haven't shaved forever because no one usually sees my legs anyway I would suggest shaving. I'm not super hairy or anything but it still hurt like heck when they pulled them off in the morning. Then you get wires on your face and chest. Oh- don't forget the microphone taped onto your neck. Then they glue 7 wires into your hair. Yep, I said glue. :omg: After an hour or two when your ready to go to sleep they come into plug in all of the wires that are attached to you in for the night. They then at that time put a thing on you like an oxygen canula that also has a plastic tip that rests on your upper lip. Then the last thing they do is tape a pulse sensor onto your index finger. Then it's nightie-night time. :tired I personally slept pretty terrible, just because of the thing up my nose. Then at 530A they came in and started ripping off off of the wires that were previously adhered to my body. The glue remover for my hair smelled awful. I was left sitting wondering what the hell just happened to me. To my biggest horror when I went to the mirror in the bathroom there were marks from the tape still on my face and neck. At this point tonight, the ones on my face are about gone but the one on my neck is very obvious. I am also still picking glue out of my hair although one more wash and I'm sure that will be gone. Overall it was a survivable experience but not one I'd want to repeat if it could at all be helped. Until next time....

tizen33

tizen33

 

8-24-2006

So I had my EKG and chest xray done today and will be leaving to go to my sleep study test in about 45min. After that all I have is my support group meeting on Monday to meet all the pre-op requirements. The sleep test as I've mentioned befor takes the longest to get the results back on. But by mid- Sept if I haven't heard from the surgeon by then I will have to call and see what test results he hasn't gotten yet. It's happening slowly yet is so exciting. Bad news though I've gained a couple of pounds. I haven't been excersizing like I was. My husband is working days and is always home during the time of day I usually excersize. And I am a dork and won't do it in front of him. Not yet anyway. There will come a time where it's just gonna hafta happen. I always love reading all of your journals. Good luck to all.

tizen33

tizen33

 

8-23-2007

Well, my sleep study test got moved to Friday night due to insurance taking forever to approve it. So hopefully by tomorrow they will have recieved approval and I can get this part over with. In the pamphlet they sent me with the paperwork they say it takes two to three weeks for the results. So.... we wait.....anxiously.

tizen33

tizen33

 

8-20-2007

I haven't been able to write due to getting my butt kicked by some nasty stomach bug. It knocked me out for two days. In two days I slept almost as much as I do in a week. I am so glad to be feeling normal again. I called the hospital that does the sleep test and they had not recieved the referal. So then I made the appropriate calls and by Friday of last week I was scheduled for this Tues night for my sleep study. Now today they called me saying they are having trouble getting insurance approval. I had to have some questionere faxed to the clinic where I live, fill it out, then fax it back. A lot of these things would be easier to deal with but I live about 70 miles from the city were I have to go for all these tests and for the operation itself. So thank God for fax machines or else I'd of had to drive for three hours round trip to get the papers filled out. I had my meeting with the dietician. It went well. She just went over the pre and post-op diet. The pre-op diet is what freaks me out more because the doctor I am going to wants all his patients (this is what the dietician and the surgeons receptionist both told me) to lose 10% of their body weight. And they want this weight lost in 4-6weeks prior to surgury. And I can't start it until after my first consultation with the surgeon. Anyway the lovely pre-op diet is: breakfast: non-fat milk with whey protien lunch and dinner: as many vegetables as you want (minus potatoes and corn) and three slim-fast shakes a day. It sounds like a very exciting menu. Actually I don't mind to much. I want this so bad and it is worth it. The dietician said that if you follow this to the tee people lose between 5-7lbs a week. We'll see how it goes- maybe I'll be luckey and he'll only want me to do it for two or three weeks. Today I got all my blood work done. So the next things I have to do are: Tomorrow: sleep study Friday: Appt. to get referal for EKG/Chest Xray Monday: Support group meeting Then after the EKG I'll have all my pre-op stuff done!! Until next time....

tizen33

tizen33

 

8-14-2007

:eek:I am very frustrated that the darn hospital has yet to call me to schedule my sleep apnea test. I'm going to call them tomorrow to make sure they got the referal. I just like to keep things moving forward. It is a long enough process as it is. On a good note I see the dietician this Friday and then get all my bloodwork done on Monday. After that there is still the EKG/chest exray to schedule. Then I think I will have all the things that are required preop done. I still haven't changed my diet but am up to riding 2 1/4 miles a day on my excersize bike. And was down to 275 (down 2 lbs.)when I went to the Doc last week. Until next time..................

tizen33

tizen33

 

I'm a dork

I must be one of the most computer illiterate people out there. Sure I figured out this journal thing but that wasn't too hard. To be honest I have had very little computer experience. I just use it for e-mail primarily and research second. So just a few minutes ago I was trying to check out some of the other things that lapbandtalk offers besides journals and I click on one little thing and all of a sudden I am in some chat room. I have never "chatted" befor. And I wasn't prepared to "chat". I couldn't figure out how to leave.... People started talking to me.... saying hello and all. I didn't have anything to say except that I really didn't mean to be there. I got nervous and started to panic- I didn't want anyone to think I was rude. So I typed hi and left by closing the entire lapbandtalk website sinse I couldn't figure out how to exit the chatroom. I'm sure there was probably a very large icon that said EXIT HERE but I could not find it. I don't know why I panicked but I did. Who would have ever guessed I would have chat room phobia. This is why I am a dork.:phanvan To give you an idea of how computer illiterate I am the first time I read that someone refered to their husband as DH. I thought it meant dumb husband because of the context in which it was used. My husband thought it stood for something a lot worse. I can't write that on here but it rhymes with sick bed.:speechles So I figure someone should get a chuckle out of my ignorance. So, does DH stand for dear husband??????

tizen33

tizen33

 

8-10-2007

Yesturday I had my appointment with my PCP to get the referal for the sleep test and to have her write my referal letter that includes my diet history and medical problems that are related to by big butt. She is wonderful and so supportive of the whole thing. I was really afraid of what people would think when I first started thinking about bariatric surgury. I haven't told hardly anyone. Just one of by best girlfriends, my husband and my mother in law. They all have been great. My mother in law even told me that when I reach my goal weight she'll take me shopping for a new wardrobe:D. That's a nice kicker.... but to be honest at this point in my life I can't comprehend being even somewhat thin. In high school when I was in sports and very physically active I still weighed 170 and thought I was fat. I've always had a poor self image when it comes to my body. I really hope that as the weight comes off I will get a new sense of pride and quit being so judgemental and hard on myself. I'm tired of beating myself up all the time. Life is to short. Anyway- I gotta be getting to bed. Goodnight all. Take care.

tizen33

tizen33

 

sleep study

I just sent off my information to the surgeon last week. The doctors office called today to let me know that I am definately a canidate for the surgury (you think?). They also told me that they sent me a packet telling me all of the pre-op things I need to do befor having an appointment with the surgeon. The gal let me ask some questions. And my first question was how long it takes to get the results from the sleep apnea test done, and she said that it can take a couple months to get an appointment and another possible month plus for the results!! She did recommend the hospital locally that usually has the quickest results. So when I see my doctor tomorrow to get the referral for the sleep test I'm going to ask that they refer me to that hospital. So my words of wisdom to those starting to complete the prerequirements for surgury..... get the sleep test taken care of first. She said my insurance usually approves the surgury quickly (less than a week) so that is exciting although probably still far off in the future. I am anxious about the sleep test and the amount of time it will take to do and get results from. I hope this happens by November. That is my little wish and I hope I am being realistic. Until Next time..... Good luck to all on their Journey~

tizen33

tizen33

 

regrets

Wow- so in some ways I regret including my weight in my journal name. It just kinda freaks me out everytime I see it and think of everyone else that sees it and what must go through their minds. But when I've read other people's journals- especially when I first started looking into weight loss surgury I wanted to know where they started at and what kind of progress they've made. I also figure that as the weight comes off it will be motavational to be reminded everytime I do some journaling of where exactly it was when I began. I haven't changed my eating habits yet really. I have cut out the majority of fluid calories I consume in a day. I used drink probably close to 1000 cals a day. Now it's more like 150 or less- basicly just milk. I also have begun a slow introduction back into physical activity. I have an excersize bike and have started riding again. Real slow at first- I'm only riding a mile and a half at a time. Next week I will go up to 2 miles at a time. I figure once I go to the dietician my eating habits will really have to change. Or at least at some point soon there after. I have a hard time not justifying food sinse "I won't be able to have that later so I should eat it now while I still can". I already did this to the amount of about 15lbs. It is all part of the yo-yo'ing I've been doing for years. Oh well- I am ready for things to move along and of course it won't seem fast enough. But as the weeks go by my goal is to take little steps to change my poor behaviors by slowly replacing them with good ones. In the past I've always jumped onto whatever the next diet bandwagon was 150%. I'd stick to whatever plan long enough to see results then eventually I'd get burned out. Befor long I always go back to my old ways and gain all weight back that had been lost. I want to change for good this time. The implementing good behaviors slowly I got from listening to John Tesh- I figured I've tried other methods of changing my ways might as well try this one. I'm looking at losing weight like when I quit smoking. It was and is a continuous battle. I quit numerous times befor it finally stuck. But I finally quit. So the lapband is like the patch in a way- except I don't think the lapband can keep me from killing people- which the patch did. If any of you has ever been addicted to nicotine you understand the intense withdrawls you go through and I'm not kidding about it saving other peoples lives. But I can't wait to get banded so I can have that tool to help me win this battle! Goodnight to all.

tizen33

tizen33

 

It has begun...

height: 5' 7" weight: 277 BMI: 64 It is crazy to me that I am putting this out there for whoever wants to read it and yet my husband doesn't even know exactly what I weigh. He has a real good idea but not the exact digits. Like by my not telling him it isn't as bad as it actually is. Kind of like how my drivers license says I weigh 200. I haven't weighed that sinse around 1994. It's been awhile. But it is time to face reality and own up to the fact that I am morbidly obese- I have let myself go further and further each year. I have been a pretty regular dieter the past 13yrs or so. I can lose 20-45 lbs befor I crash. I either get sick of no carbs, or tired of shakes, or quit excersizing, or quit counting calories because I want to eat. I have used food for comfort- to fill a void and I have created a vicious cycle in my life that needs to be broken. I am ready to begin the healing process. I am ready for my butt to quit being the thing that grows and instead have things like spiritual growth,confidence and self-worth back in my life. I have begun tackling the mental reason behind my eating. I really believe that will be a huge key to not only losing weight but achieving the internal happiness that I have been lacking. I began researching gastric bypass and banding about six months ago. At first I really wanted to bypass. I wanted the finality of it. I wanted to have no way out of losing weight. I was taking the wrong approach at that time. Even if I had chosen bypass- my mind still needed to make a shift. It took time and a lot of reading journals online to see that surgury is only a tool. I believe it is a powerful tool if used properly. I've made the shift and actually after a lot of research the band just makes so much sense. And I am so excited.... as well as a little nervous and scared.:phanvan The company I work for recently got bought out which was a huge blessing for me. My previous insurance didn't cover any kind of weight loss surgury. I was prepared to find a way to finance it- I and my health- are worth it! But luckily our new insurance overs everything. Yippee! So today I had my psych evaluation. There were 5 tests- 4 of them were not bad. The other one was almost 600 questions. Not terrible, but time consuming and can you say hand cramp? By the way I am not afraid of the dark (they asked that question like 6 times). The Doctor said after our 10 minute talk, that I am a perfect canidate and he has seen this surgury help a lot of people. First step down..... it has begun. I have an appointment with my primary doctor the 9th to get a refferal for a sleep apnea test. Then the 17th I have my appointment with the dietician. On the 27th I go to the required support group. I am on my way. :car:

tizen33

tizen33

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