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9-4-07

I called the surgeons office today. It took a little bit for them to confirm all my tests have been done and that they would be faxed to them by the end of the day. So I got my pre-op appointment made for Sept 18th at 1pm. I asked if I could come in earlier just for a weigh in so I could start the liquid diet but they said no. Dr. Cahn requires 10% weight loss within 2-6weeks just prior to surgery. So two more weeks then liquids here we come! I haven't been riding my excersize bike like I was befor but I have started working with my 23 yr old mare. Somehow we got talked into taking this horse without much knowledge of her history. She is in great shape for her age and still has some riding years left in her. I just don't think she's been ridden in 10 years or more. She has been basically a big pet. She is very green and has a lot of spook in her but only when requests are being made of her. She used to come like a dog when I'd go out to our pasture and call her. But after our little training session yesturday she didn't want anything to do with me today. Of course we worked a little harder today. I wish I had a round pen. But I'll just have to make it work with the lunge line. So training Copper is the workout plan over the next month that I am laid off work. I need to work the stationary bike back into the routine also. Until next time.....
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

9-2-2007

OMG I am so glad to be home. New Jersey and New York were a great experience but I love the small little town I live in and my little house and all the land we have. I love the quiet. I like the drivers more. The biggest traffic we deal with here is the occational train. I am just so glad to be home. My friends wedding was beautiful and I was so lucky to get to be there for her. Of course I cried:cry~ It was a beautiful ceremony. And she is so happy. Looking at the pics from her wedding were depressing. I guess that they will make good "befor" photos. The skirt and top I chose was brown and off white with a leafy pattern. I saw the photos and I looked like a damn tapestry. Big as one too. The other thing that was depressing was flying on the airplane. The last time I flew I weighed more than 50lbs less and my butt fit in the seats. This time it was tight. I couldn't get my seatbelt fastened. So I just pretended to have it on. I did okay until the last flight and somehow that damn flight attendent knew and brought me an extention belt. I was soooo embarassed. I also was a little irritated. Like how many times to you read in the news paper about a plane that crashed but luckily everyone was wearing their seatbelts? And as far as the reasoning that it could help keep me in the seat during turbulance doesn't fly either concidering how tightly my butt was wedged in those seats. I wasn't going anywhere. This is probably the first time I've felt truely ashamed and embarassed in public by my weight. I don't ever want to experience that harshness again. I am waiting til the end of this week to call and check to see if my primary doc. has recieved all the test results to be forwarded to the surgeon. I just found out I'm laid off until Oct. 1st so it'd be great if it could happen by the end of the month but I doubt it with the pre-op weight loss, etc. Maybe I should call the surgeon and see if I can come weigh in this week and start the pre-op befor all the tests are in. I'll decide in the morning. I have been up for 17 hours and only had 4 hours of sleep last night. I hope all of you are doing well on your journies. Goodnight:notagree
tizen33

tizen33

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11-26-2007

start weight: 295 surgery weight: 270 5 weeks post op: 259 I still didn't lose any weight last week. Today I got on the scale and was finally down a pound. I went two weeks with no weight loss. That's enough to drive me nuts. But hopefully my body has adjusted and is ready to start dropping weight again. My doctor appt. is next Tuesday. I should get my first fill then. I don't know how much or what. I'll have to ask so I can include that in my journal. I am hoping that by getting a fill I will experience the same sense of fullness that I did for the first couple of weeks after surgery. That was amazing. I wasn't hungry and got full so quickly. I was pretty good on Thanksgiving. I did have to have a bite of each of the crisps I made. One was peach and one blackberry. I didn't have a recipe and wanted to see how they were. They were good. Hope everyone out there is doing great. Until next time....
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

10-23-2007

Okay so I freaked myself out bad tonight. We recently got a food dehydrator and have always wanted to make jerky. Well, I made jerky. And I decided to just chew a piece.... just chew, to see how it tasted. I was planning on spitting it out and then OOPS down the throat it goes! and it wasn't even very well chewed yet. That was two hours ago. I keep waiting for terrible chest pain, or a PB or something. I think I might be in the clear but am not sure yet. I'm scared to drink very much. I can just see it now: "33yr old woman admitted to emergency. Patient was recently banded(less than a week ago) and now has a chunk of jerky stuck in her band. It has been decided that the band must be removed..." These are the thoughts going through my head. I'm not going to feel in the clear until the morning. I'm also not going to sample anymore jerky. What a dumb ass. Other than that today has been good. I am really amazed at how well the holes in my belly are healing. Only one of the incisions has a bruise. The rest look like 1 inch scratches- except for the one that is about 4 inches long. I have 5 incisions total. My port is under my left breast. I would say below but I sag a bit so actually it is under. :phanvan I went for about a 10 minute walk this afternoon. We have been having wonderful weather for October. It was 70 degrees today. And consumed right around 700 calories. Until next time........:girl_hug:
tizen33

tizen33

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2-01-2008

I haven't written since the 12th of January. I haven't been the best at following all of the rules my doctor wants me to. I do not eat a lot during the day. I haven't been exercising since I started working full time three weeks ago. But the weight keeps slowly coming off. I cannot complain. I actually couldn't believe I was still going down when I got on the scales today. I started this journey at 295 in Sept. of last year. I had a month long pre-op diet that was doable but very unpleasant. And now I am down to 248. Almost 50 lbs. I know I could be losing faster. But I am being normal. I don't know if that makes sense but what I mean is that I am just living each day. I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I am full. I don't eat the best foods everyday. I still have chocolate but very rarely and in small quantities. I just hope things keep going down. Even if it isn't 3 lbs a week. I go for a month check up on Tuesday. I will probably end up getting another fill just because I still can eat anything. Turkey gave me a little trouble but it was really dry. It just made my chest hurt. And I can eat close to a cup of food depending on what it is. Hope everyone out there is doing good and getting the support they need. This site really is a great place. I just barely have time to even check my email anymore. Take care. Until next time....
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

10-08-2007

Today was good. My hubby and I went and got some hay for the animals for the winter. That was my exercise for the day. Bucking hay is quite the task. They are 100lb bales. I've lost 20lbs now. 20 days 20lbs doesn't seem healthy but when the surgeon says lost 25lbs in 30days in order to get the surgery I try my damnedest. 10 more days until surgery!! yippee!! Take care all!! Oh- cals today 1020.  
tizen33

tizen33

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9-25 2007

Wow- kinda had a rough day today. Started out good in the morning.... except for the sour milk. I ended up eating three taquito today. I traded the calories by not drinking a slimfast. I still consumed less than 1500 cals. so I am trying not to beat myself up so bad. And I did exercise. And tomorrow is another day. I was just reading through some different threads and realized how thankful I am to have this forum and everyone in it. It is so inspiring and helpful to read everyone's answers and experiences to different questions. This pre-op diet is driving me nuts and it's nice to be able to have a place to get grounded. I just really can't wait to get this done. I've spent too many years in a heavy unhealthy state. I'm ready for change...........23 more days to go!!! Goodnight.
tizen33

tizen33

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1-11-2008

Wow, it's been over a week since I've gotten a chance to even log on. I had started a new job and ended replacing someone and have worked the past nine days straight. Tonight was my Friday- Thank God!!! I am so tired. Things are good. I have been exercising. And being that I work so much (even though I'm a cook) I don't have the appetite to eat. I am to busy. Leads me to realize that I eat out of boredom. I don't even have to be hungery. Now that I am working, I've only been eating between 800-1200 calories a day. The weight has begun to come off again. Yippee!! This morning I was down to 251. I've lost a total off 44lbs so far. I have so far to go, but I am almost to the 50lb marker! I've got to get to bed. I'm too pooped to write anymore :eek: Hope everyone is doing good out there is band-land!   Take care!
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

It has begun...

height: 5' 7" weight: 277 BMI: 64 It is crazy to me that I am putting this out there for whoever wants to read it and yet my husband doesn't even know exactly what I weigh. He has a real good idea but not the exact digits. Like by my not telling him it isn't as bad as it actually is. Kind of like how my drivers license says I weigh 200. I haven't weighed that sinse around 1994. It's been awhile. But it is time to face reality and own up to the fact that I am morbidly obese- I have let myself go further and further each year. I have been a pretty regular dieter the past 13yrs or so. I can lose 20-45 lbs befor I crash. I either get sick of no carbs, or tired of shakes, or quit excersizing, or quit counting calories because I want to eat. I have used food for comfort- to fill a void and I have created a vicious cycle in my life that needs to be broken. I am ready to begin the healing process. I am ready for my butt to quit being the thing that grows and instead have things like spiritual growth,confidence and self-worth back in my life. I have begun tackling the mental reason behind my eating. I really believe that will be a huge key to not only losing weight but achieving the internal happiness that I have been lacking. I began researching gastric bypass and banding about six months ago. At first I really wanted to bypass. I wanted the finality of it. I wanted to have no way out of losing weight. I was taking the wrong approach at that time. Even if I had chosen bypass- my mind still needed to make a shift. It took time and a lot of reading journals online to see that surgury is only a tool. I believe it is a powerful tool if used properly. I've made the shift and actually after a lot of research the band just makes so much sense. And I am so excited.... as well as a little nervous and scared.:phanvan The company I work for recently got bought out which was a huge blessing for me. My previous insurance didn't cover any kind of weight loss surgury. I was prepared to find a way to finance it- I and my health- are worth it! But luckily our new insurance overs everything. Yippee! So today I had my psych evaluation. There were 5 tests- 4 of them were not bad. The other one was almost 600 questions. Not terrible, but time consuming and can you say hand cramp? By the way I am not afraid of the dark (they asked that question like 6 times). The Doctor said after our 10 minute talk, that I am a perfect canidate and he has seen this surgury help a lot of people. First step down..... it has begun. I have an appointment with my primary doctor the 9th to get a refferal for a sleep apnea test. Then the 17th I have my appointment with the dietician. On the 27th I go to the required support group. I am on my way. :car:
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

11-2-2007

I think I may have over shot my weight loss goal for Thanksgiving. I want to drop 13lbs in three weeks. Granted one of those weeks I'm still on the liquid diet and the other two I'm on mushies but that's a lot of weight. I thought for some reason I had one more week in there. Well, we'll see how it goes. I am exercising daily again at 30 minutes a pop. Maybe that's why my hunger kicked up a notch today. For the first time since being banded I was really hungry. So I added peanut butter to my last protein shake (vanilla flavor) of the day. It was soooo good. It tasted like the inside of a reeses peanut butter cup to me. 6 weeks ago it probably would've tasted like crap to me but since I haven't had any real food for so long it was quite a tasty treat. It did up my calories for the day. But I am still consuming less than I have since I was probably like 8 years old. So in summary I consumed 940 calories and rode my bike for 30 minutes.
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

8-14-2007

:eek:I am very frustrated that the darn hospital has yet to call me to schedule my sleep apnea test. I'm going to call them tomorrow to make sure they got the referal. I just like to keep things moving forward. It is a long enough process as it is. On a good note I see the dietician this Friday and then get all my bloodwork done on Monday. After that there is still the EKG/chest exray to schedule. Then I think I will have all the things that are required preop done. I still haven't changed my diet but am up to riding 2 1/4 miles a day on my excersize bike. And was down to 275 (down 2 lbs.)when I went to the Doc last week. Until next time..................
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

12-03-2007

start weight: 295 surgery weight: 270 6 weeks post op: 258 Well, there is still slow weight loss. I actually haven't gotten on the scales since last weeks weigh in. I'm scared it's gone up because I haven't been very good about what's been going in my mouth. Tomorrow is my first fill. Thank God!!! I haven't felt like I have a band for the past few weeks. I want so bad to feel the restriction I felt right after surgery. I feel guilty about going to the doctor and not having lost but 1 or 2 lbs since my last appointment 3 weeks ago. I get tired of feeling the guilt. I want that way of thinking to change. Something for me to keep working on. I'm hoping I get re-motivated after getting a fill and talking with the doc. I haven't been very good about exercising. I need to get back on track with that. I've been averaging only three thirty minute workouts a week. I want to do at least five. Something else for me to work on. I also am not looking forward to getting poked for the fill. I always work myself up about things like this and then in the end think it wasn't that bad. I will give a report on how things went tomorrow. Hope everyone out there is doing good. Take care...
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

11-08-2007

Start weight: 295 day of operation: 270 3 weeks post-op: 261 I had my first doc. appointment since getting banded today. My three week check-up. Everything is fine. I have lost 9lbs since getting banded. I am happy to get to move onto pureed foods. I had pureed a few times this last week and told the doc. He said that it was okay because I didn't have it until after the second week. I'm still ready to chew my own food but at least I get real food now. I've exercised all but two days so far this month (today being one of them). I don't have to keep track of my diet journal except for 1 week prior to my appointments. I haven't decided if I'm going to do it anyway or not. I probably will once I start on all real food. Hope everyone out there is doing good! Take care!
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

10-16-2007

My pre-op appt went great! The doc's scales said the same as mine.... 25lbs gone!! Yippee! So I am going into surgery weighing 270. I was so proud of myself for losing all the weight that he asked me to. I go into surgery at 10:15am on Thursday. I have to be at the hospital at 7:30 am. That means we have to leave my house at 5:30 or a little after. Yuck! But it will be worth it. I had told myself that if I reached the 25lb mark I would let myself have something to eat. So I had a taco bell chalupa. It tasted good and filled me up so fast considering I haven't really eaten in just shy of a month. Then it made my tummy hurt. Kinda ticked me off... I just wanted to enjoy it. I skipped my last slimfast. I haven't calculated my caloric intake yet with the chalupa in it. Probably still under 1500 cals. I didn't ride my bike today as I was gone from 11 this morning until 8 pm tonight. Now I have some last minute cleaning to do befor Grandma arrives in the morning. It is impossible to describe the emotions I am going through. I've only gotten really nervous once... so far. I was happy to hear that they give an anti-anxiety pill at the hospital befor to long after you get there if you want. I want. Give me happy pills!! I know that this is the best thing I could do for myself but it still freaks me out a bit as the time gets closer and closer. I will post a detailed entry of my experience after the surgery. I will also remeasure myself tomorrow to show the loss I've had thus far in inches. I hope everyone is doing great. Good luck on your journeys!
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

Banded

I am Banded!! It wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be. I am tired though. I will give a more detailed account of the ordeal tomorrow! :girl_hug: ~Martina
tizen33

tizen33

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10-2-2007

Today was good. Not much to say. I rode my bike my 30 minutes and ate 1200 cals. I'm excited and happy for all the other tenacioustens out there who are starting to get banded. Take care all!
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

12-12-2007

I called and scheduled an appt. for next week to get a second fill. Although I have been losing weight I am still eating about 6 times a day. Consuming between 1500-2000 calories. I would like that number to be between 1200-1500. So next Thursday I go in and get poked again. I have been doing a lot of baking for the holidays. I love to bake. I have had a couple of cookies but have not had 4 or 5 like I used to. My little platters I make for friends and family are really pretty this year. I also always make and give gift baskets to family instead of one gift for each person. It really saves on how much we spend during the holidays. Although it takes a lot of time and energy to make them all. Tomorrow is my weekly weigh in. I will update my stats then.
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

10-15-2007

I can't believe that my little countdown ticker says only three days to go. And really it's only two because today is about over and I have to be at the hospital by 8am on Thursday. A little bit ago I went through a big old case of the nerves. And all I wanted was pizza and to forget the whole thing. This breaking up with food is getting to me. But I've come this far and I'm not backing down now. I don't want to be morbidly obese which I am now. I want to be attractive and healthy. I want to tie my shoes without it feeling like yoga. I consumed 840 cals today and am going to ride my bike for 30 minutes after this entry. Good luck everyone!    
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

11-17-2007

Monthly measurements start/now Bust: 53 1/2 in/48 3/4in Waist: 55in/ 43 1/2in Hips: 57in/53 1/2in Thighs: 35in/ 32 1/2in Calves: 21in/ 20in Arms: 17in/ 15 3/4in Total loss of 24 1/2 inches 39lbs lost so far! Bandday 10-18-2007
tizen33

tizen33

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10-22-2007

4 days post-op. I didn't take any pain meds today. I can definitely feel something in my chest. It's like pressure or tightness- I don't know if it's always been there and I'm just feeling it now since there's no pain medicine in my system or what. I'm still not regularly exercising although I am anxious to get back to it. My caloric intake was at 705 today. Here's what I had and it's pretty typical of what I've been drinking each day. 8:30am- whey protein 1 scoop w/ 4oz nonfat milk and 4oz water 11:00am- slimfast 1:30pm- 8oz cream of chicken soup 3:30pm- whey protein 1 scoop w. 4oz nonfat mild and 4oz water 6:00pm- Dannon light and fit strawberry smoothie (which I water down and drink like juice because it's to thick otherwise). I haven't had much of an issue with hunger and when I do I wouldn't know what to eat anyway even if I could. I usually just drink something and it goes away anyway. It seems to work best for me to have something to always sip on. I am so excited for the scales to start descending. I hope my journal entries help those of you who are starting out. I started them in hopes of giving new people good details of my journey and what you could possibly expect on yours. I can't believe that I am blessed enough to have been able to have the band "installed". The difference this is going to make in my life is a miracle really. For the first time in a long time I am feeling a sense of well being about myself... and a sense of hope.... and that's just a damn beautiful thing!!:girl_hug: Good luck to all of you on your journeys! ~Tina
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

1-1-2008

Since my second fill I have noticed that I get full a lot quicker. I also have to really make sure to chew chew chew or else OUCH! I haven't though lost any weight since my second fill. This is due to the fact that I have been nothing but naughty. I have been drinking a lot the past two weeks (empty calories and lots of them). I have battled depression on and off in my life. I hate the idea of being on anykind of medication. It's just not my thing. Anyway, I knew the depression was coming back even before my surgery. And it took me until last week to finally go in and see my doctor and get put back on anti-depressant. It just had to be done. I was becoming quite self-destructive. I even started smoking again after having quit back in 2004. Last night hubby and I went out for the new year. We had a good time. And today I have joined the masses with my new years resolution to not smoke, follow the band rules, not drink and to exercize regularly. Granted today is day one but so far so good. I got the patch to help with the smoking. I'm addressing my depression which will help with the rest of my resolutions. We'll have to see how things go. I hope everyone has a wonderful 2008. Take care all.
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

11-21-2007

I haven't been very good about writing as often as I used to. I have been (I think I'm coming out of it) a "funk" (as I call it) for over a week now. The scale just seems to be lingering on the same damn number. I was and am impressed with the amount of inches I lost when I measured last week. It can get discouraging when I read about other people who were banded right around when I was and they have lost 20+ lbs since being banded. My doctor said that since some people don't have a 30 day pre-op diet, like I did, that larger weight loss is more normal for them after surgery. I still was expecting more. I need to learn patience. I'm not even sure if I've lost anything this week. I'll find out tomorrow when I weigh in for the week. I have been pretty lax about what I've been eating. I also haven't been calculating my caloric intake everyday like I was before. I figure I still am consuming between 1200-1800 calories a day. I should be able to lose weight with those numbers. I also have put off exercising since I started a new part time job. I haven't had to work on my feet since August and by the end of my shift (as a waitress) my body feels like it's going to die. My hip gives me so much trouble. I actually start to limp. My feet are also not happy about the whole work thing. So that's been my excuse for not exercising. I am recommitting myself to working the band. The past few days I have been very conscious of what I put in my mouth. I'm following the band rules. This has got to work for me. It will work. I don't know if any of you have checked out Youtube and searched lapband. There are some very inspiring stories... as well as some that I'd rather of not seen. But the inspiring ones kinda kicked my butt back in gear. This is an amazing tool that I have. It can and does work. I just need to remember not to expect instant results. Food was/is so instantly gratifying. Losing the weight from eating the food doesn't happen over night. I just need to remember to get refocused every time I get in a funk. Well- we'll see how things go in the next week and a half before my next doctor appointment. I hope to at least of dropped another pound or two before my first fill. I can't hardly wait for my first fill. Although I am apprehensive about getting poked:phanvan. But it WILL be worth it:). I hope all of you out there are doing good. It can be a bumpy road but at least this road is going somewhere good! Happy Thanksgiving!
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

10-3-2007

I didn't get to ride my bike today....yet. I might try to get it in after hubby goes to bed. I still don't like exercising in front of him. It was a pretty good day. I'm pretty used to not eating much now. In some ways I can see how being on this pre-op diet can be beneficial. Not just because of the weight loss but that when I am banded I'm already used to not eating hardly anything. Here's what I had today: (typical of everyday) whey protein shake 2scoops in 8oz slim milk 2 slimfast shakes (I'm allowed 3 a day but lately have only been drinking 2) 1 1/2 cups broccoli 1 cup butternut squash soup (90 cals) 1 1/2 cups stir fry veggies 1 diet Dr. Pepper That's around 1200 cals. And I'm really not hungry. The first few days of this pre-op diet I ate like three times as many veggies but not anymore. I'm actually not supposed to have soup but I've been eating progresso's hearty tomato and tried this organic squash soup. The squash soup is pretty nasty. I like squash. I've eaten a lot of it the past two weeks but the soup just wasn't right. It smelled like pumpkin pie and tasted like onion, garlic squash. It messed with my senses. I am so ready for my surgery date. Not much longer. I am on the downhill side now at least. Well, Goodnight. Hope everyone is doing good on their journeys!
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

10-5-2007

The scale still said 279 this morning. But I am in a better space about the whole thing. I am only doing liquids for the next two weeks. If I do feel like I'm gonna die then I will have some veggies..... fresh only. I should be able to drop the last nine pounds I need to lose by the 18th. I rode the bike already today. I'm just trying to stay focused. I just love being able to read about everyones success here. It is so inspiring and helps. Even the people who have struggles help. It reminds me that we are here to make a lifestyle change. That it won't be easy but that it is possible. I am so excited that I am here at this point in my life. I am excited to think that I won't have to be huge my whole life. That I can get healthy and be happy with my success. Anyway- I'll probably edit and add more later tonite. Good Luck to all of you. Take care.   later: Well it's 11pm. I have had nothing but liquids all day. It's just about as bad as the first day of the prescribed pre-op diet. I had my protien shake this a.m. then my three slimfasts throughout the day and two servings of lipton onion soup (35cals a serving). And I am hungery. I think I'm gonna have some chicken broth befor bed. My stomach keeps rummbling. We'll see how the scale responds to this abuse after a couple of days. Consumed 1000 cals today. Goodnight.
tizen33

tizen33

1
 

10-26-2007

I am so glad to have my baby back. Grandma and Grandpa brought her back a little after 4pm this afternoon. I miss her so much when she is gone even for just a day. She really is the light of my life. She has started walking everywhere... finally. She was a late walker. She's been cruising since right around 12 mos. but it has taken her until now 4 months later to start really walking independently. I wasn't in a real hurry for her to walk (she's getting harder to catch ):girl_hug: but I was gonna start worrying if it didn't happen in the next couple of months. Now I can relax and just enjoy her toddling around. Today was good. I've been really good at maintaining the house. I've used this time off from work and reorganized everything. I am at much more peace when my house is in order. Everything looks so nice. I rode my bike for 10 minutes and consumed 560 calories. Goodnight all!
tizen33

tizen33

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