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Entries in this blog

 

5/12/2008

starting weight: 295 current weight: 234 surgery date was 10/18/2007 So my doctor appointment was okay. The one thing that drives me really nuts is the fact that my port sight always hurts. It's a pulling type pain. It's kind of hard to explain. but it hurt like this before it flipped and now it hurts a lot again since the surgery where they redid it. I just worry it will be a life long issue. I guess I'm gonna have to use this to track what I eat. I usually use slimfast.com but they have been down for almost a month now. I really need to start tracking what I eat. I PB to often. I think I might be too tight. But my doc said to track what I eat and how I feel. It's hard to get into the habit of documenting what I'm eating again. Here's today: 6am- coffee with nondairy creamer and splenda 8am- same lunch- 5 oz tuna w/mayo and mustard 1pm- coffee as above dinner 4 oz hamburger, 1/2 an advocado If I have a snack tonight it will be my protein shake. until next time

tizen33

tizen33

 

2-18-2008

Start weight: 295 Surgery weight: 275 Current weight: 245 Monthly measurements Start/Now Bust: 53 1/2in. / 47in. Waist: 55 1/2in. / 40 1/2in. Hips: 57in. / 50 1/2in, Thigh: 35in. / 31in, Calves: 21in. / 20in, Arms: 17in. / 15in. I am so happy. I have reached the 50lb mark.:thumbup: And have lost a total of 35 inches. It just amazes me everyday how well this works. As I said before I am not following any sort of real diet. I just eat when I'm hungry. I don't eat near as much. It's so nice to actually get full. The one rule I do follow is the not drinking for 30 minutes after I eat. I exercise occasionally. I can't wait for the weather to get nicer so I can start walking to work. We have had snow on the ground since Jan 8th. That is just unheard of in this part of Idaho. Anyway- things are good. I am so glad that I got banded. I have no regrets. It is an amazing tool. Hope all you other bandsters are doing good. And good luck on the journey for those of you looking into getting banded. Take care All!  

tizen33

tizen33

 

3-7-2008 Port flipped

So I went in for my check-up on the 4th. My doctor wanted to give me a fill. But after poking and digging around forever he sent me to get x-rays taken. And yes, my port had flipped. I went into surgery yesterday for the revision. He cut along the same scar as before. Of course the pain isn't nearly as bad as after getting the band "installed". It is frustrating because I have to pay for all of this. My insurance doesn't cover any complications from getting the band. I'm not sure the hospital fee but my doctors is $1200. So I'm setting up a payment plan... yippee. :confused_smile: I do try to look on the bright side of things though. I mean I'd rather have this happen than have my band slip or erode. I just worry it'll happen again. Other than that things are okay. I got a third fill during the surgery. I am up to 4cc's in a 14cc band. I only ate solid food once today. I'll have to wait and see how this fill works. Up to this point I've been able to eat basically whatever I've wanted. Sometimes I want more restriction and other times I'm glad I can eat toast if I so choose. Yet, it would be nice to lose a little faster. I'll just have to wait and see how things go. Hope all of you bandsters and soon to be/hoping to be bandsters are doing well. Take care!

tizen33

tizen33

 

5-27-2008

starting weight: 295 today: 231 Well, I'm going down again albeit slowly. I knew the day would come to were I would actually have to use the band as the tool it was meant to be. Up until 6 weeks or so ago I didn't really have to even try to lose weight. Now I'm having to track my diet and actually concider exercise. Thank goodness the good weather is here and I garden a lot. I also found my favorite palates tape that I need to start doing again. Anyway, just a quick check up. Take care all.

tizen33

tizen33

 

3-31-2008

I am over the half way point to my weight loss goal. I've lost 58lb and have 57 more to go. I've been hovering right at 240 for a couple of weeks. I started drinking my protien again last week. I dropped three pounds... yippee! I still have a long way to go. My doctor is happy with my progress. He thinks I'll be under 200 by July. I haven't weighed under 200lbs since 1993. It's crazy to think about. My port area has that "pulling/sore" sensation that I had befor my port flipped. I'm hoping it doesn't happen again. I can't afford to have it done again. The last time was out of my pocket. I'll be making payments on that for a while. Anyway, I've got to get to work. I hope everyones lapband journey is going well! Until next time.... Band-day: 10-18-2007 starting weight: 295 pre-op weight: 270 5 mos. post-op: 240 12-05-2007 first fill of 2cc's 12-20-2007 second fill 1cc total of 3cc 3-6-2008 surgery for flipped port and third fill 1cc total of 4cc

tizen33

tizen33

 

5/4/2008

April was a very slow month for weight loss. I only lost three lbs. I have so much restriction. I just don't always eat that great. I don't eat real bad though either. I'm just wondering if my body is slowing down for a little while. I know my new job doesn't help. I now have an office job and just sit on my butt for 8 hours a day. Having the scale not reward me weekly is getting me motivated to take some serious action. I need to get moving again. The weather has finally started to get nice so I have been working outside a lot on the weekends and in the evenings. I'm not looking forward to my doctor appointment on the 8th. My doctor is so funny, if I lose 6 lbs and say I ate the way he wants me to eat (basicly atkins) then he compliments me and says I'm doing great.... that I'm "right on track". But one month I lost 8 lbs and was honest about sharing a milkshake with my hubby and eating a sandwhich or something like that and he gave me a bunch of crap. So this is the first month I haven't had pretty significant results and I'm not sure what to expect. I know sure as hell that no more fluid is going into this thing. I can't eat until almost noon as it is. And if I eat the wrong thing or accidentally swallow something before it is chewed to oblivion then I about die. Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I've still got a few days before my next appt. maybe I'll drop a lb or two. Until next time................

tizen33

tizen33

 

3-16-2008

wt: 240   Since my surgery and last fill I have definitely experienced a lot of restriction. Salmon the other night I thought was going to kill me. Today almost everything I ate bothered me. I'm pretty sure I'm a little too tight. I'm hoping though that my stomach is just irritated and from the salmon and more sensitive. I'm going to do just liquids and soft foods tomorrow. I have a post-op appt. on the 25th. If things aren't better by then I'll have him take some fluid out. I started a 7 day cleanse today. It's supposed to be all natural and not too harsh. I've never done one and am terrified I will end up with the sh*ts at work. I just started the job last week. It would be a great impression on all the office gals. Both my husband and I are doing the cleanse. We have slowly been switching our diet to a healthier one. First we quit buying anything with enriched flour or hydrogenated anything. Now we are buying primarily organic. It is so expensive. I paid $6.89 for two (granted they were huge) red peppers. I about passed out. I haven't switched to organic meat yet. Our beef already is (we raise it ourselves). Boise is supposed to be getting a Whole Foods soon. I'm looking forward to that. Until next time.

tizen33

tizen33

 

12-04-2007 / first fill

So I went ahead and weighed myself this morning for the first time since last Thursday. As I suspected I was up 2lbs. I went to the doctors and the scale was the same as it was 3 1/2 weeks ago. As I stated I was nervous about getting a fill. But it didn't even hurt. It's more sensitive now then it was with the needle in me. Right now if I bend over and my pants push on the area it hurts. Kind of a quick stabbing type pain. Hope it goes away quickly. Back to the fill part, I didn't feel the needle go in at all. He did have to "poke" around a bit to find the top of the port. That didn't even hurt. There was just a sensation of movement. He put two cc's in. He said my band can hold up to 14cc's. I'm not sure which type of band I have. I know it's one that was just approved. I think Johnson and Johnson makes it but I'm not sure on that. I was told to do liquids for the next two days and then return to my regular diet. I got talked to about bread not being one of the foods I should eat. And he said that if I didn't have any restriction after this fill to come in in two weeks and he would put in more. He is actually a real nice guy and seems to be a good doctor (I'm not the biggest fan of doctors). I'm not sure if I have any restriction yet. I can't tell any difference by just drinking so I'll wait and see. Until next time.....

tizen33

tizen33

 

July 27, 2008

Well my appt last Thurs with my surgeon was good. I keep losing every week. I am down to 227 from 295. My surgery date was Oct 18,2007. My home scale must be brocken. It has said 230 lbs (give or take a pound or two) for over 3 months. Yet everytime I go to the doc. I've gone down. I usually am only losing a pound a week. The least I've lost in a month is three. The most is eight. I can't complain I guess. If I didn't have the band I know that I would be as big as I was if not bigger. Sometimes I want quicker results. But I don't do anything to acheive that... you know... like excersize. I do have that in my future plans though. I also drink a couple times a week, which makes it nearly impossible for me to lose any quantity of weight. But, as long as the scale keeps trickling downward then all is good. I should come on here and blog more often and be involved with the posts. It would do me good to take advantage of all the support offered here and yet I don't. I need a swift kick in the arse. Well, I hope all of you out there are doing well. Take care everyone!!

tizen33

tizen33

 

8-20-2007

I haven't been able to write due to getting my butt kicked by some nasty stomach bug. It knocked me out for two days. In two days I slept almost as much as I do in a week. I am so glad to be feeling normal again. I called the hospital that does the sleep test and they had not recieved the referal. So then I made the appropriate calls and by Friday of last week I was scheduled for this Tues night for my sleep study. Now today they called me saying they are having trouble getting insurance approval. I had to have some questionere faxed to the clinic where I live, fill it out, then fax it back. A lot of these things would be easier to deal with but I live about 70 miles from the city were I have to go for all these tests and for the operation itself. So thank God for fax machines or else I'd of had to drive for three hours round trip to get the papers filled out. I had my meeting with the dietician. It went well. She just went over the pre and post-op diet. The pre-op diet is what freaks me out more because the doctor I am going to wants all his patients (this is what the dietician and the surgeons receptionist both told me) to lose 10% of their body weight. And they want this weight lost in 4-6weeks prior to surgury. And I can't start it until after my first consultation with the surgeon. Anyway the lovely pre-op diet is: breakfast: non-fat milk with whey protien lunch and dinner: as many vegetables as you want (minus potatoes and corn) and three slim-fast shakes a day. It sounds like a very exciting menu. Actually I don't mind to much. I want this so bad and it is worth it. The dietician said that if you follow this to the tee people lose between 5-7lbs a week. We'll see how it goes- maybe I'll be luckey and he'll only want me to do it for two or three weeks. Today I got all my blood work done. So the next things I have to do are: Tomorrow: sleep study Friday: Appt. to get referal for EKG/Chest Xray Monday: Support group meeting Then after the EKG I'll have all my pre-op stuff done!! Until next time....

tizen33

tizen33

 

2-27-2008

Just a quick little update. All is going well. I have my monthly appointment next week with the doctor to see how my weight loss is going. I've lost 7 lbs since I saw him three weeks ago. I don't think I need another fill. I can overeat if I want to (not like before but more than I should). I just try to stop when I am full. I seem to eat small snacks throughout the day mostly. I usually try to consume less than 2000 calories a day- but it's normally between 1200-1500 a day. I still don't exercise like I should. One of these days... right? Hope all of you out there are doing good on your band journey. Take care.  

tizen33

tizen33

 

8-23-2007

Well, my sleep study test got moved to Friday night due to insurance taking forever to approve it. So hopefully by tomorrow they will have recieved approval and I can get this part over with. In the pamphlet they sent me with the paperwork they say it takes two to three weeks for the results. So.... we wait.....anxiously.

tizen33

tizen33

 

11-01-2007

Start weight: 295 surgery weight: 270 2 weeks post-op: 263 total loss so far: 32lbs Well, I am down 3 more lbs this week. My BMI has dropped 5 points since beginning the pre-op diet. Amazing really. My goal is to be down to 250 by Thanksgiving. I haven't weight below that for about 3 years and then that was only because I got down to 247. Before that it's been about 6 years since my lowest weight which was right around 235. So, It will be so exciting to get below 235. I haven't been below that since 1998. It seems like there is so far to go. And there is. But each day I am losing little by little instead of gaining. I am so happy to be going in the right direction. Yesterday I consumed 784 calories. I'll probably update more tonight. It's later.... I've challenged myself to work out between 19-23 times this month for at least a half hour each time. I rode my bike for 30 minutes. I consumed 740 calories today.  

tizen33

tizen33

 

9-3-07

So I was kinda (totally) sad when after last nights journal entry that I weighed myself. I knew that on my recent trip to New Jersy and New York I was a somewhat indulgent with my caloretic intake but I thought that all of the walking and the humidity would have countered some of the damage. But no. Even though I experienced the worst sweating ever in my life and walked over 10 miles in four days I still gained weight. It seems like ever sinse I started looking into this surgury seriously I have been sabotaging myself. Some of it I've been aware of and some not. I really didn't expect to gain the NINE pounds that I did this last week. I about crapped myself. In the morning the first thing I'm gonna do is call the surgeon to see if I can get in to get weighed so I can start the pre-op diet. He won't go off of any weight except ones that are taken in his office or else I would have started this sooner. It just seems like if I'm not dieting than I am gaining weight. I am so tired of that. I am so tired of that being my reality. Dealing with obesity is one of the hardest things in my life. I concider myself a competent person. Even as a fat A** in New York I was the last one to complain about all the walking we did. I work hard. I am smart and successful in so many areas of my life and yet I can't win when it comes to losing weight. It at times makes me feel like such a failure. I get so pissed about the headtrip that humanity puts on looks. Even after I get the band and lose weight I won't be like models that we see on magazine covers everyday. My goal weight is 180. At that weight I am about a size 14. When I was in highschool in sports and very physically active my lowest weight was 170. Sometimes it is just so frustrating and I am looking forward to getting on with this process. Isn't it amazing the ups and downs we go through as fat people. Our coping mechanisms get us through so much hurt and pain. Granted we hide it as much as possible but it is still there. Ever feel like fat is a four letter word? Sorry, I'm kind of a downer today. But- as always time will move on and so will I. And all of us here reading these journals and writing in them are making choices to hopefully make a change for the better. And as long as we are striving for improvement we are striving for the change that is needed. Goodnight and take care.

tizen33

tizen33

 

11-15-2007

Start weight: 295 surgery day weight: 270 4 weeks post-op: 259 measurments: start/now bust: 53 1/2in /49 1/2in waist:55in/45 1/4in Hips:57in/54in thigh:35in/32in calf:21in/20 1/2im arm:17in/16in Okay I am having a difficult time the past couple of days. I just can't seem to get and stay full. I am to the point that I've read so many other people talk about where I think I need a fill. It will most likely happen on my Dec. 4th appointment. My weight loss has dropped off quite a bit. It's not at a complete standstill but close. Granted this is only one week. It definitely could pick up next week. I just wish I wasn't getting hungery. My will power after that 30 day pre-op diet and the diet following surgery is running thin. Just a couple more weeks though and hopefully the fill will give me what I need. I started a part time waitressing job yesturday to help suppliment my income while being on unemployment. I just wish that the plant that I worked at would let us know when they plan on starting back up. It's been since August already. I just couldn't get by on what unemployment alone pays. The bills have been backed up. Maybe the stress from that is contributing to my hunger. Maybe it's more head hunger than anything.... hummmm... something to think about and pay more attention too. Until next time!

tizen33

tizen33

 

10-25-2007

One week post-op today. :girl_hug: Start weight: 295 surgery weight: 270 1 week post-op: 266 Today was a very busy day. I didn't have much time to eat... I mean drink very much. I only drank 540 calories today. We went to Boise and dropped the baby off at Grandma and Grandpa's for the night. We are so lucky, Angelina has wonderful Grandparents. Then we went shopping all over town. Hubby and I had a really good day. Lots of visiting, joking and laughing. There was a long while where I wasn't much fun to be around because I was so miserable with myself. I feel like I've got a new lease on life. I've actually been happy lately. It may sound weird but I haven't been happy in a long time. It is amazing how doing something good for yourself and your life can give you an entirely new perspective. Things are good. I didn't ride my bike today but we walked around alot. We walked enough that my tummy started to ache a bit. I took a pain pill when I got home and reminded myself that I still need to take it easy. Good night all!  

tizen33

tizen33

 

regrets

Wow- so in some ways I regret including my weight in my journal name. It just kinda freaks me out everytime I see it and think of everyone else that sees it and what must go through their minds. But when I've read other people's journals- especially when I first started looking into weight loss surgury I wanted to know where they started at and what kind of progress they've made. I also figure that as the weight comes off it will be motavational to be reminded everytime I do some journaling of where exactly it was when I began. I haven't changed my eating habits yet really. I have cut out the majority of fluid calories I consume in a day. I used drink probably close to 1000 cals a day. Now it's more like 150 or less- basicly just milk. I also have begun a slow introduction back into physical activity. I have an excersize bike and have started riding again. Real slow at first- I'm only riding a mile and a half at a time. Next week I will go up to 2 miles at a time. I figure once I go to the dietician my eating habits will really have to change. Or at least at some point soon there after. I have a hard time not justifying food sinse "I won't be able to have that later so I should eat it now while I still can". I already did this to the amount of about 15lbs. It is all part of the yo-yo'ing I've been doing for years. Oh well- I am ready for things to move along and of course it won't seem fast enough. But as the weeks go by my goal is to take little steps to change my poor behaviors by slowly replacing them with good ones. In the past I've always jumped onto whatever the next diet bandwagon was 150%. I'd stick to whatever plan long enough to see results then eventually I'd get burned out. Befor long I always go back to my old ways and gain all weight back that had been lost. I want to change for good this time. The implementing good behaviors slowly I got from listening to John Tesh- I figured I've tried other methods of changing my ways might as well try this one. I'm looking at losing weight like when I quit smoking. It was and is a continuous battle. I quit numerous times befor it finally stuck. But I finally quit. So the lapband is like the patch in a way- except I don't think the lapband can keep me from killing people- which the patch did. If any of you has ever been addicted to nicotine you understand the intense withdrawls you go through and I'm not kidding about it saving other peoples lives. But I can't wait to get banded so I can have that tool to help me win this battle! Goodnight to all.

tizen33

tizen33

 

8-10-2007

Yesturday I had my appointment with my PCP to get the referal for the sleep test and to have her write my referal letter that includes my diet history and medical problems that are related to by big butt. She is wonderful and so supportive of the whole thing. I was really afraid of what people would think when I first started thinking about bariatric surgury. I haven't told hardly anyone. Just one of by best girlfriends, my husband and my mother in law. They all have been great. My mother in law even told me that when I reach my goal weight she'll take me shopping for a new wardrobe:D. That's a nice kicker.... but to be honest at this point in my life I can't comprehend being even somewhat thin. In high school when I was in sports and very physically active I still weighed 170 and thought I was fat. I've always had a poor self image when it comes to my body. I really hope that as the weight comes off I will get a new sense of pride and quit being so judgemental and hard on myself. I'm tired of beating myself up all the time. Life is to short. Anyway- I gotta be getting to bed. Goodnight all. Take care.

tizen33

tizen33

 

1-3-2007

Three days and no smoking. Yeah! I have been being a good bandee. I still eat between 1200-1300 calories a day. I will see on the eighth if the doc wants to fill me up some more. I had a hard time with some turkey today. It was kinda stringy and I thought that I chewed it enough but apparently not. I think I experience a small amount of slimming although and didn't (and have never) PB'ed. It hurt hella bad and took a good 10-15 minutes to pass. I've been riding my bike and have also incorporated sit ups and stretching into my daily regiment. Tomorrow's my weigh day. We'll see if 3 days of being good will show up there. If not I know by next week I will see some results. Until next time.

tizen33

tizen33

 

9-18-2007

O-kay so I got weighed officially at the surgeons office. And as I had suspected I had gained a lot (17lbs). So I changed my journal name to Tina 295 to reflect my starting weight. It's amazing how self destructive I can be. On a positive note I start the pre-op diet tomorrow. The diet consists of one protien shake in the morning. Three cans of slim fast a day. And vegetables (no corn or potato) for lunch and dinner. I get to do this for a month. I am suposed to lose 25lbs by then. The Doctor said that most people lose between 5 and 8 lbs a week on this diet so this should definately be doable. All of my paperwork, etc. is being sent to insurance for approval. The gals at the doc's office said that Blue Cross usually responds quickly. Assuming insurance approval goes smoothly and my weight loss goes smoothly they set a tenative surgery date for Oct. 18th. I am in awe. None of this seems real. I just feel like I'm jumping through another hoop to get to this far off dream that I have. But it is becoming a reality. I'm sure it will seem real when I'm sick of slimfast shakes and vegetables 4 weeks from now. I have told a few more people. I told my grandmother who raised me today and I told a close friend in town. The friend was very supportive. My Grandmother had a couple comments that kind of rubbed me wrong but I know she means well. She just has a hard time that I can't do it myself. She's talking about coming out when I have the surgery to help with the baby. Maybe I can explain it better to her then. I am still torn on when to tell other people. My husband thinks I should just be honest when asked, but that I don't need to volenteer any information. I think I agree with him. All I know is how tired I am of being fat and depressed about it. I'm tired of the self destructive behavior I indulge in. I am ready for the change. And it starts tomorrow. Here are my current stats: height: 5' 7" weight: 295 BMI: 46 bust: 53 1/2 in waist: 55 in hips: 57 in thigh: 35 in calves: 21 in arms: 17 in OMG!! I'm almost as round as I am tall!!!! but not for much longer!!:car: Good luck to all of you on your journey's.

tizen33

tizen33

 

11-5-2007

I haven't wrote for a couple of days. Not that I've been that busy, I've just not been up to it. Things are okay. I am so ready to just be able to eat food and just eat less. I am sick of just drinking my meals. My caloric intake went up beyond what it has befor the past two days (not including today). I still consumed less than 1000 calories on those days but I had some good liquid/pureed food. I had a small (about 1/4 cup) of this Mexican casserole one day. It was really good. And yesterday I made my hubby seafood alfredo pasta. I had about 1/4 cup of the sauce. It had minced crab in it and was soooo good. It just made me want food more. Not a lot of food, just real food. Just a couple more days then my diet can increase. I didn't exercise yesterday but today my hubby and I took our baby on a walk down to our towns little park. We walked for a little over a half hour. It was a beautiful day. I consumed 640 calories today: 6:00am 2 scoops whey protein shake mix 8oz nonfat milk 11:00am 8oz chicken broth 1/4 cup instant mashed potato's in it 3:00pm 1 can ready to drink slimfast 6:00pm Dannon light and fit smoothie That's it that's all for today!! Take care all!!  

tizen33

tizen33

 

10-6-2007

Today wasn't too bad as far as the diet. It wasn't exactly great either and it's not over yet. I can still have one more cup of broth. I am actually drinking 64 oz of water a day plus about another 80oz in the drinks I consume for nourishment. Needless to say I pee a lot. The scale was 1 lb less this morning. Hopefully it keeps going down. I was under the impression from the support group I went to that the doctor I am going to is a real stickler about losing the prescribed amount of weight he gives you to lose befor surgery. That's why I have been stressing so much about it. But this gal I talked to today who went to him was supposed to lose the same amount as me and only lost 9.9lbs. in the month prior to surgery. And he didn't move her date back. She weighed about 25lbs less than me though. So even though that makes me feel a little better I'd still rather be safe than sorry. My Grandma is coming up to help with the baby. Thank God for that. I didn't even think about that. I've been so busy jumping through all the hoops to get this done that it slipped my mind. Well- my ticker is at 279 today. I will update it tomorrow after I weigh in the morning. Hopefully it is less. I rode my bike 30 min today and consumed 1020 cals. Goodnight.:notagree    

tizen33

tizen33

 

I'm a dork

I must be one of the most computer illiterate people out there. Sure I figured out this journal thing but that wasn't too hard. To be honest I have had very little computer experience. I just use it for e-mail primarily and research second. So just a few minutes ago I was trying to check out some of the other things that lapbandtalk offers besides journals and I click on one little thing and all of a sudden I am in some chat room. I have never "chatted" befor. And I wasn't prepared to "chat". I couldn't figure out how to leave.... People started talking to me.... saying hello and all. I didn't have anything to say except that I really didn't mean to be there. I got nervous and started to panic- I didn't want anyone to think I was rude. So I typed hi and left by closing the entire lapbandtalk website sinse I couldn't figure out how to exit the chatroom. I'm sure there was probably a very large icon that said EXIT HERE but I could not find it. I don't know why I panicked but I did. Who would have ever guessed I would have chat room phobia. This is why I am a dork.:phanvan To give you an idea of how computer illiterate I am the first time I read that someone refered to their husband as DH. I thought it meant dumb husband because of the context in which it was used. My husband thought it stood for something a lot worse. I can't write that on here but it rhymes with sick bed.:speechles So I figure someone should get a chuckle out of my ignorance. So, does DH stand for dear husband??????

tizen33

tizen33

 

8-27-2007

I am leaving for New Jersey tomorrow for 5 days. My best friend is getting married. It will be my first time to visit the East. I am very excited to see her. I am not so excited about flying for that long although it sure beats driving. And it will be my first time away from my one year old daughter for more than 24hrs. That is my biggest worry. She is just the joy of my life. She is also a lot of the reason for me getting the band. I want to be healthy not only so I will be able to keep up with her as she gets older but also to be a good example. Is it silly for me to worry that she'll forget me??? I never knew how much having a child can change so much about a person. Everyone keep up the good journey! And I'll write again when I return from mine.

tizen33

tizen33

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