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Never Had Time To Grieve At Peace

I don't know if anyone will read my blogs. But I thought this would be very theraputic to me? I will talk to my computer and hopefully it will talk back to me.   I was doing phenomenal with my weight loss. I got sleeved on March 1st 2011. I was full of energy, happy and had so much planned. Until Oct. 30, 2011.... someone close to me passed away tragically. Someone my age, 31yrs old. I didn't eat for 3 days and lost so much weight fast... but then after that I had moments that I would eat non stop. It was a nightmare... it's going to be a year soon, and those feelings are coming back!   January 25, 2012 someone else in my family closer to me passed away.... had to pay for the funeral. I didn't have 10grand saved aside as just incase of a funeral money. Needless to say, I went broke and still struggling. I over ate.... ate and ate and ate... why? people bought over food non stop and wanted us to eat!   I flew out for this funeral... had to buy 3 round trip tickets from Chicago to California. Then pay for the funeral arrangments and body transferral to another country and a round trip ticket to accompany and attend this funeral......   Feb. 22nd... a friend dies....   Feb. 27th... a very dear close friend dies...   March 2nd my baby cousin dies.....   March 16th my uncles passes away....   and now... my friend is fighting for her life, cancer! Cancer took my friend away on March 09, 2011... newly sleeved I went to to her funeral. This friend who is fighting for her life... brain cancer.. sigh... doesn't remember my group of friends, and that is heart breaking to see her in this state.   I don't know what to do anymore.   I have been on anti depress. pills, xanax for anxiety... and yet nothing works. I feel like a failure in my wls as to I only lost 80lbs.   and this is my momentary distraction of the night.
JaspersGirl

JaspersGirl

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