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Weight and Depression

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Weight And Depression

So which came first...my obesity or my depression? Tough call - seems to go hand in hand. Lets just say I finally hit rock bottom and I have got to reclaim my life. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. In high school, I more or less became anorexic. I never was a puker, I just wouldn't eat. Even at that time I was a size 10 at my smallest. (Yep..."big boned" chic to boot lol) Since high school, my weight has fluctuated. I will lose weight, then gain it all back plus some. I was blessed with a beautiful daughter in 2009 and my weight has ballooned out of control since. I weigh what I weighed when I was 9 mths preggers?! Other than work, I avoid being in public as much as possible. Any time I am out and about, I feel like other people look at me and think, "Ew. Gross!" People treat you different when you are heavy. Men don't make eye contact and smile while they hold doors open for you. People in general have a different demeanor when they are interacting with a fat chic. I miss feeling attractive. I want to have energy to play with my daughter. I want to stop avoiding social functions because everyone is Facebook happy and "tags" horrible photos of me. I want to feel like my sweet husband is attracted to me and proud of how I look. I want to enjoy shopping for clothes. I want to feel NORMAL!!! This isn't living. I feel sad and I have horrible self esteem. I have my first consult with the surgeon tomorrow for the vertical sleeve. I have started the process of all my insurance requirements (Cigna) and gathered paper work from my PCP and the Bariatric clinic I have been a card carrying member off intermittently since 2009. So...here I am. I am sure many of you can relate to my story. Any good vibes sent my way for speedy insurance approval are greatly appreciated. I look forward to getting to know you guys and sharing our journeys.   ~Tink
Tink RN

Tink RN

4
 

Update

Hi guys! I had to dance around with insurance a few months. Didn't do me any good cause I am still a chub...however, I was FINALLY approved and my tentative sleeve surgery date is February 12. I am having an EGD (light and camera down the chugger) this Friday. Oh joy joy. I am also currently in the process of a month of the Optifast diet. The protein shakes aren't bad, but I am freaking starving! Plus they were $400.00 out of pocket which sucked. I just keep telling myself, "Just one month...you can do it!"   Ok so I would be lying if I didn't admit that a couple of chips and some chocolate have fallen in my mouth...but hey - if I had such strong will power, I wouldn't be here to start with, right? Right. So my doc is known as "The Argentine Dream". Following up with him for life will be my pleasure as he is quite a piece of eye candy...I just will be glad when he isn't staring at my chub rolls every time I visit LOL!!!   Have a great day everyone and I will catch you guys soon!   ~Tink
Tink RN

Tink RN

0
 

Insurance Filed By Surgical Office This Morning :)

The Insurance filer at my surgeon's office called this morning and told me she filed the gastric sleeve request with my insurance office (Cigna). The only downer was that my 3 consecutive visits with the "diet Dr" were 1/3/12, 1/31/12 and 2/28/12. She said they may deny because they will view the first 2 visits as being the same month?! I was like REALLY?! Kidding, right? No she said. Hmmph. We will see. Otherwise all my ducks were in a row so to speak. I am hoping to have an answer soon due to my surgeon and Cigna are breaking up as of Nov 1st, so he will no longer be an "in network provider" which would increase my out of pocket expenses, or require me to seek another surgeon and start over. Wish me luck guys!!! I love reading all the blogs on here and getting insight on other's journeys. It truly helps to know you are not in this alone.
Tink RN

Tink RN

2
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