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About this blog

only 4-5 weeks to my op

Entries in this blog

 

blood test for lupus - still waiting

Havn't felt like updating my blog, limbo land can be a lonely desolate place, it is only my Trust in God and my hubby that is keeping me going. I had a blood test for lupus 2 weeks on monday, don't know how long they will take. Hoping they will be back on monday so the surgeon can look at them on tues. Went to my local w l s support group last night, came away really down, even though the speaker was very good. As i sat waiting for hubby to come and push me, he dropped me off in my wheelchair and had to go park the car, i saw another bunch of new applicants coming out holding their white papers and worried looks on their faces, i can spot them a mile off, and can only wonder how many will get there, and how long it will take them. This year i had a chateract off my left eye on the 4th jan and it was good to start the new year with much better eyesight, am trying to be positive for the start of 2013, a new stomach and a new me, just got to try and not do too much damage over christmas, will only have to starve to get it off, so better not to overindulge. Happy Christmas sleevers and sleevers to be, enjoy the build up to Christmas and have a blessed day and a fantastic new you in the new year, lots of love, xx

pink grace

pink grace

 

April will be my month

Had my appointment with the haematologist today, i finally have the results i need to have my operation, i have the factor in my blood but not the syndrome which is the thing that does the damage, so i can have my operation i just need to have blood thinning drugs after for a bit longer just as a precaution, just waiting to hear from my surgeon with a new date in april, so close now and actually believe i will have my op in april, who hoo, so ready for this, x

pink grace

pink grace

 

another week and still waiting

Hello fellower sleevers and sleevers to be, i am waiting to see the heamatologist but have still not got a date I saw my diabetic specialist last week and it was very encouraging, i am 3kg down since July, my last appointment, my blood sugar readings are good, and even though it is not his field he said that as far as he could tell i am borderline lupus and this shouldn't cause any probs with my op. I was able to ask him questions about when i stop injecting victoza and he reassured me that i won't go hypo after the op because i will have stopped the victoza. I am going to reduce the dosage when i get a date and do the pre op diet again so that i won't have hypo probs on 800 cals a day. I came home much relieved. I got weighed yesterday and was shocked at the scales, good job i was starting to cut cals and eat healthier that day. Hope all are well and loosing or maintaining weight, bye for now, x

pink grace

pink grace

 

Another Week And Still No Test Results

Am really at the end of my tether with it all now, feel like deleting the blog and go back to try and loose weight on my own, i am writing this blog to keep account of my life before and after the sleeve operation, but seriously wondering if i will ever have the op. I have been waiting in hope every day that i would get a telephone call to tell me why my blood isnt clotting and what the treatment will be. Why does it take this long, am sooo annoyed and fed up. I have been trusting in God and patiently waiting and if wasn't for my faith in God i just don't know what i would do. There is something inside that keeps me from walking away from it all and helps me to continue to hope and keep on with this, but i am still having to battle with my feelings which are at screaming point, my feelings say just give up and stay fat, but in me deep down i know that it is worth hanging on and keep waiting to get my operation, but it feels like i am hanging by my fingertips. I have had a really bad time with gout, and fibromyalgia this last month, in fact it is so bad i have had to get a chairlift to get upstairs to go to bed, i can hardly walk and am desperate to get this weight off which will help my joints not having to carry so much weight. It is 2 years in january since i first started the process and all the other people who started at the same time have had their ops and lost their weight. I know it can always seem to be darker just before the dawn but, i need my dawn now. I was told that i could ring my specialist nurse anytime which is good, but has she has never had this happen to a patient before she is in the dark too. I can't ring the hospital because they say they are checking everyday and will ring me as soon as the results are back. This limbo is driving me crazy, the not knowing is horrible. The comments are wearing thin now, that it is better to be safe than sorry, i know, i know, i have never wanted something as much as i want this and that is why it is so hard, i have jumped through hoops, starved for two weeks, and then nothing, dissapointment is the worse thing. Do i feel better for writing this, well, no not really, but as i am an honest person at least this hard part will be recorded and not glossed over. God doesn't say we won't have problems in this life, but thank you God you are with me and i know that only you will bring me through this time and that stretching and growth hurts, ouch, but it will all work together for my good, i just don't like this going through it, i need to be carried for a bit, my legs are tired of walking, i need rest, those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength like eagles on the wind, I am waiting Lord. God is never late, always on time, His time. here endeth my blog for today. but hoping for in my next blog

pink grace

pink grace

 

6 Weeks

6 weeks today since my blood test, struggled to keep eating healthy this week, my birthday was my undoing, i had some chocolate mints after my meal and it gave the taste back for chocolate. I really need to take control again, i have been down about the wait for my blood results this week and once i ate the foods i had cut out, the more i wanted them. I have felt really unwell after eating too much high fat high sugar foods, i am actually wanting to eat better and feel better again. Nothing tastes as good as loosing weight feels, i love the feeling that comes when i can feel the weight coming off, and i am eating right, and feel down when i am not loosing weight and eating right, perhaps i have learned more about my eating habits than i thought i had. My aim is to loose weight ready for my op and to continue to eat right and follow the rules so that i can loose weight and keep it off for life. The more i wait, the more i realise how important this is too me, and want it even more than ever. Really hoping this week will be the week that i get the results and know what treatment i will need, and most of all to get my new date for my sleeve. Really should go to bed and get some sleep, i will share my news as soon as i know anything, meanwhile, keep up the good work sleevers and sleevers to be, xx

pink grace

pink grace

 

6 Days To Go

Had a horrendous time friday to monday, mom has a water infection and was rushed into hospital on friday night, she was delireous and not herself at all. Still managed to stick to the diet even though i wanted to eat comfort food. Mom is on the mend and is getting 24 hour care, so i can relax a little. My period came yesterday after only 19 days, it must be the weight loss on the 800 cal diet. I have my pre op assessment in the morning, praying i will pass everything so that the op is not delayed. Finding the diet easy now, got used to rumbling tum and eating loads of veg to fill me up. Also,i am feeling much better for the healthy diet. It will be interesting to see how much i have lost when the period ends, am so glad it came this week and not next week. Hoping this coming early will not continue, i am 54 and want them to STOP, that is it for today. I

pink grace

pink grace

 

5 Days Nearer

Instead of counting how many days i have to wait, i am counting each day as a day nearer to getting my blood results and a new date. My sis has had her op and they think they have got the cancer early enough for it not to have spread, she gets the reults next friday; My mom may be home early next week, and my husbands mom's funeral is next friday. Hubby's brother has been offered a council bungalow to rent so that is another tick on the things to be done list. I have been reading loads of posts on here to encourage others and to learn even more about the sleeve. I am still on my liver shrinking diet and did less than 1,000 cals yesterday, but today i could eat a lot more, it might help if i knew how long i had to do this for, but at least it will be getting me ready to much less cals after the sleeve. I wa surprised to read today that you can eat 1,300 cals a day after the sleeve to maintain the weight loss, at the moment i have to eat less than 1,000 to loose weight, but perhaps i may have a better metabalism after the op, got to keep the hope up and be positive, I am still battling with the dissapointment with the delay of my op, but getting there, day by day. I must not eat chocolate, i must not eat chocolate, wonder how many times i need to write this to stop the desire, lol, hey ho, on we go, lettuce really is as nice as chocolate, not, lol.

pink grace

pink grace

 

3 weeks out

hi, im 3 weeks out and have been on pureed for just over a week and so far, not being sick and able to eat everything ive tried so far. Yesterday hubby did me a lasagne, half of a one person ready made one, it didnt blitz as smooth as i would have liked, but i gave it a go, i was only able to eat half of it and was really full. Today i get weighed and have put 2 lb on, up to today i have been loosing half to one pound per day, i have not been going for no 2 every day, and do feel a bit bloated. Not sure if its a stall, or just lack of no 2s, not worrying but was a bit dissapointing to put on at this early stage. I am finding that i need to eat every 2 hours after lunch to stop the light headed wooziness happening, my dietician said to have 3 normal meals and not to snack in between, but i feel the need, i have had a bag of skips for 76 cals, but tried a banana yesterday, had half and chewed it well, and felt better for it, so am going to try fruit in between as we are not supposed to have crisps etc as they go down easy but are high in fat and cals compared to fruit, need to get good habits now for the rest of my life. God has really blessed me with a good result and am believing that this will be for my good to have a smaller healthier body, and be able to keep it that way. Im not hungry, but do feel the need to eat, its a kinda empty feeling, and needing to top up energy more than anything, its 11 am and so far ive just had water since 9/20 am when i got up, im not hungry but have that empty feeling. One concern i have is that once i begin to eat, the 2 to 3 hour of needing to eat cycle begins and am watching how many calories i consume by using my fitness pal. I am not wanting sweet things at all, but am craving beef jerky, only 50 gram packet and 141 cals, and im not swallowinng it, this may sound gross, but i chew and chew and savour the taste, but then, take the little ball of mush out and give to my waiting dogs. It is very expensive, but it is my treat, i usually have it in the evening and can take an hour or more, breaking the little squares in half and chew chew chewing, lol. I started to take my meds in pill form yesterday, i am supposed to wait another week but just couldnt do a day longer with the horrible liquid meds. I have been in so much pain without my normal amount of pain meds for the fibromyalgia pains. Have a pain in my left calf going up under my knee, but no swelling or hotness, am thinking it is a pulled muscle, but will keep an eye on it. Really happy i have my sleeve, i know my weight loss could be slower because of my lack of mobility, but was 27 pound down and i can feel and see the difference already. My size 30 clothes are all really loose and i started at size 34 3 years ago, so am happy im heading downwards, i can get into size 24 26 pjs comfortably, and am thinking im about 26 28 in day clothes. Ive orderedc size 16 18 pjs in the sale for my christmas presents from hubby, and am really hoping that i will be in them for christmas or just after. My goal size is a small 16, and whatever weight i am for that size will be fine with me, i dont want to go below small 16 as hubby didnt like that last time i was size 14, he said i was too bony, lol, cant say ive been too boney fr many years. Well, thats me for today, praising God for this new life, getting on with what i need to do and trusting God to do what He needs to do in me and through me, to God be the Glory, great thinks He has done, and is doing and will do, byeeeee, xxxx

pink grace

pink grace

 

3 days and 4 sleeps

feeling really happy and positive, just 3 days and then up early on thursday, to be there for 7.30 am, i am really believing that this will happen now, at last. I have so many people praying for me, and i am trusting in the Lord, just dont want to receive a phone call from my team, i will be sat waiting and wont move till im sleeved, lol. I have great support and all the people who have had their op is rooting for me, and will visit me too. I met my surgeon for the first time last week and he is very friendly and answered my daft questions with much patience. I am still wanting to eat a big sweet pudding, but not cheating, this means so much to me. A lady came with a few items of clothing that she has shrunk out off for me, i was really touched, very nice maxi dress, cant wait to shrink into it this summer. I have no idea what i can expect to loose, but will follow all the rules and do as much as i can to work with my new smaller stomach. I am so ready for this new beginning, not scared or worried, just peaceful and excited. Thats it for now, bedtime for me,xx

pink grace

pink grace

 

1st February

Where has the month gone, i'm glad it has gone because it brings me nearer to finding out when my sleeve will be. It is 2 years now since i begun the process and i am so ready to get this done and to move into my new sleeved life. The latest update is i am still waiting, for yet more blood tests to come back to finaly know what is wrong with my blood. I have another appointment of the 18 th feb to see the heamatologist again, when hopefully the blood tests will be back and i should be given a certificate stating what is wrong with my blood in case i want to have more procedures in the future. I was glad that even though i have lupus it is not full blown, i presume i will have to keep having blood tests to monitor the lupus. I have my mom in hospital yet again, and she has decided she wants to go into a nursing home as it is too much for her to live at home anymore, only time will tel if she actually does go into a nursing home, we got Robins mom a place in a brilliant home last year then the day before she was due to move in she changed her mind. I am hoping i can have my sleeve in march and no later, but until i am actually being wheeled into the operating room for the op it wont seem real. I am trusting in the Lord and not leaning on my own understanding and know He will direct my way. Counting down the days again, xx

pink grace

pink grace

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