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only 4-5 weeks to my op

Entries in this blog

 

3 weeks out

hi, im 3 weeks out and have been on pureed for just over a week and so far, not being sick and able to eat everything ive tried so far. Yesterday hubby did me a lasagne, half of a one person ready made one, it didnt blitz as smooth as i would have liked, but i gave it a go, i was only able to eat half of it and was really full. Today i get weighed and have put 2 lb on, up to today i have been loosing half to one pound per day, i have not been going for no 2 every day, and do feel a bit bloated. Not sure if its a stall, or just lack of no 2s, not worrying but was a bit dissapointing to put on at this early stage. I am finding that i need to eat every 2 hours after lunch to stop the light headed wooziness happening, my dietician said to have 3 normal meals and not to snack in between, but i feel the need, i have had a bag of skips for 76 cals, but tried a banana yesterday, had half and chewed it well, and felt better for it, so am going to try fruit in between as we are not supposed to have crisps etc as they go down easy but are high in fat and cals compared to fruit, need to get good habits now for the rest of my life. God has really blessed me with a good result and am believing that this will be for my good to have a smaller healthier body, and be able to keep it that way. Im not hungry, but do feel the need to eat, its a kinda empty feeling, and needing to top up energy more than anything, its 11 am and so far ive just had water since 9/20 am when i got up, im not hungry but have that empty feeling. One concern i have is that once i begin to eat, the 2 to 3 hour of needing to eat cycle begins and am watching how many calories i consume by using my fitness pal. I am not wanting sweet things at all, but am craving beef jerky, only 50 gram packet and 141 cals, and im not swallowinng it, this may sound gross, but i chew and chew and savour the taste, but then, take the little ball of mush out and give to my waiting dogs. It is very expensive, but it is my treat, i usually have it in the evening and can take an hour or more, breaking the little squares in half and chew chew chewing, lol. I started to take my meds in pill form yesterday, i am supposed to wait another week but just couldnt do a day longer with the horrible liquid meds. I have been in so much pain without my normal amount of pain meds for the fibromyalgia pains. Have a pain in my left calf going up under my knee, but no swelling or hotness, am thinking it is a pulled muscle, but will keep an eye on it. Really happy i have my sleeve, i know my weight loss could be slower because of my lack of mobility, but was 27 pound down and i can feel and see the difference already. My size 30 clothes are all really loose and i started at size 34 3 years ago, so am happy im heading downwards, i can get into size 24 26 pjs comfortably, and am thinking im about 26 28 in day clothes. Ive orderedc size 16 18 pjs in the sale for my christmas presents from hubby, and am really hoping that i will be in them for christmas or just after. My goal size is a small 16, and whatever weight i am for that size will be fine with me, i dont want to go below small 16 as hubby didnt like that last time i was size 14, he said i was too bony, lol, cant say ive been too boney fr many years. Well, thats me for today, praising God for this new life, getting on with what i need to do and trusting God to do what He needs to do in me and through me, to God be the Glory, great thinks He has done, and is doing and will do, byeeeee, xxxx

pink grace

pink grace

 

I have my sleeve

Have my sleeve, praise the Lord, I had my op on 30th may and am so happy. I am 15lb down sjnce the start of the liver shrinking diet and am jn size 24-26 pjs. Tender and tired but doing good, im on free fluids until i see my dietcian and nurse next tuesday, i did so well i was allowed home a day early, all answers to prayers, xx:)

pink grace

pink grace

 

operation cancelled again

4 days to go and op cancelled again for the 3rd time, date now 30th may, really fed up, but trusting in God, dont understand but He is in control so who am i to grumble, in His time, praise the Lord,xx

pink grace

pink grace

 

God knows best

I was really struggling with the dissapointment yet again, i just sat and poured my heart out to the lord, and said i give up, i cant do this anymore, you take it lord, and then just got on with living. 2 days ago i got a phone call to say that they knew how upset i was and they have juggled everything around and i have a new earlier date, sun19th may, first thing, i also found out that my old scales were saying i was a stone lighter that what i thought, normally they would cancell due to this, but they are overlooking the weight gain,God knew that and has worked this for my good, totally in awe of God and so gratefull, now i start my liver shrinking diet again on sat and cant wait to start, knowing that its going to happen this time, xx

pink grace

pink grace

 

operation cancelled again

My operation has been cancelled again, an urgent case, someone with cancer has been given my date, I am sorry fof that person but so upset, dont think I can do this anymore, I just want my new life to begin, crying as I write, but I know my God will lift me up and help me to carry on, x

pink grace

pink grace

 

no operations dates in april

well, finally get the go ahead for my op and there are no operations in april, so, i will have my sleeve in may, This is really testing my patience, but totally at peace, i will have my sleeve on the day God provides, my trust is in Him, xx

pink grace

pink grace

 

still waiting

i have been told today that i do have lupus, waiting for another call to see what happens next. I googled lupus and found some posts about people with lupus having the sleeve, and they were fine, so am hopeful, just waiting but a step nearer, xxx

pink grace

pink grace

 

Another Week And Still No Test Results

Am really at the end of my tether with it all now, feel like deleting the blog and go back to try and loose weight on my own, i am writing this blog to keep account of my life before and after the sleeve operation, but seriously wondering if i will ever have the op. I have been waiting in hope every day that i would get a telephone call to tell me why my blood isnt clotting and what the treatment will be. Why does it take this long, am sooo annoyed and fed up. I have been trusting in God and patiently waiting and if wasn't for my faith in God i just don't know what i would do. There is something inside that keeps me from walking away from it all and helps me to continue to hope and keep on with this, but i am still having to battle with my feelings which are at screaming point, my feelings say just give up and stay fat, but in me deep down i know that it is worth hanging on and keep waiting to get my operation, but it feels like i am hanging by my fingertips. I have had a really bad time with gout, and fibromyalgia this last month, in fact it is so bad i have had to get a chairlift to get upstairs to go to bed, i can hardly walk and am desperate to get this weight off which will help my joints not having to carry so much weight. It is 2 years in january since i first started the process and all the other people who started at the same time have had their ops and lost their weight. I know it can always seem to be darker just before the dawn but, i need my dawn now. I was told that i could ring my specialist nurse anytime which is good, but has she has never had this happen to a patient before she is in the dark too. I can't ring the hospital because they say they are checking everyday and will ring me as soon as the results are back. This limbo is driving me crazy, the not knowing is horrible. The comments are wearing thin now, that it is better to be safe than sorry, i know, i know, i have never wanted something as much as i want this and that is why it is so hard, i have jumped through hoops, starved for two weeks, and then nothing, dissapointment is the worse thing. Do i feel better for writing this, well, no not really, but as i am an honest person at least this hard part will be recorded and not glossed over. God doesn't say we won't have problems in this life, but thank you God you are with me and i know that only you will bring me through this time and that stretching and growth hurts, ouch, but it will all work together for my good, i just don't like this going through it, i need to be carried for a bit, my legs are tired of walking, i need rest, those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength like eagles on the wind, I am waiting Lord. God is never late, always on time, His time. here endeth my blog for today. but hoping for in my next blog

pink grace

pink grace

 

Headache From Pre Op Diet

Started back on liver shrinking diet yesterday, thought i would be ok but wasn't, because i have had some wws puddings etc i found i was really hungry yesterday and have a headache due to lack of sugar and carbs. I had my flu jab yesterday and don't usually have a reaction but feel really yuk today. Rang up dri yesterday to see if my blood test results were back, and was told by one person they will be back on the 29th but the pre op assessment nurse said it could be weeks. all the bariatric team are off until 1st nov, but the preop nurse said she will contact me if the results are back before then. So here i am again shrinking the liver in the hope that i can be fitted in if there is a cancellation if my tests are back and i only need a vit K injection, but if i find i have to wait longer can go off the preop diet, but then the pain will begin again, when i start again. I read today that God doesn't break a bruised reed, am feeling very bruised, but God knows best. Mom was supposed to come home today but was told today it will be early next week now, she is going to be so upset, i am too, all this waiting and dissapointment is really testing, don't understand why, but such is life. I am even more determined to get my operation, if i ever had any doubts, i don't now, i am ready for my sleeve NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW, lol, God give me strength. Found a great web page yesterday, bariatriccookery.com if any one wants to take a look, it has some great post op recipies. Keep up the good work friends, it will all be worth it when we get to our healthier small selves, meanwhile i will keep on learning from all of the great people on this forum, xxx

pink grace

pink grace

 

Devestated

i had a phone call today to tell me there is a problem with the clotting in my blood, i have to go for more blood tests on monday and then wait 2 weeks for them to be processed, then the surgeon will consult with the blood specialist to see if i can have my operation. 15 years ago i had my gall bladder out by keyhole and the day before the op they found my blood was too thin and had a problem with clotting, they did some calculations and i still had my op. When i got home i saw my gp for another blood test and he said my results where fine. I have waited 3 xs as long for this op and worked so hard to loose weight i feel really fed up. I know it is better to wait and check out my blood, but it is just so dissapointing, and i will have to do another 2 weeks on the 800 cal a day diet, can i scream I have had a tandori mixed grill and some chocolate, but will get straight back to healthy eating tomorrow, but 1200 cals and not 800. it will be luxury, :wub: Everything will work together for my good, still trusting in God, one day soon i will be sleeved.

pink grace

pink grace

 

Got My Admitions Letter

I am going to have to ring my nurse, i was told i would need to go into hospital the day before because of the diabetese been controlled by injections, but, on the letter that came today i am to be admitted at 11am on the day of my op. It also said for the by pass and yet i told them i wanted the sleeve, am puzzled, but will have to wait until monday to talk to anyone seeing as it is 4.15 on a friday afternoon. Had a very stressful morning with mom, still very confused, sat and listened to 5 hours of mixed up memories from mom, really hope these antibiotics get on top of the infection and she gets her mind back soon. The hunger is under control more now, and i am able to stick to the 800 cals and ercord it with fitness pal, which is a great app on my tablet pc. I am aware that i need to be sttrong over the weekend, and then it will be one week done, and one week to go. Now i must sleep and relax, zzzzzz

pink grace

pink grace

 

6 Days To Go

Had a horrendous time friday to monday, mom has a water infection and was rushed into hospital on friday night, she was delireous and not herself at all. Still managed to stick to the diet even though i wanted to eat comfort food. Mom is on the mend and is getting 24 hour care, so i can relax a little. My period came yesterday after only 19 days, it must be the weight loss on the 800 cal diet. I have my pre op assessment in the morning, praying i will pass everything so that the op is not delayed. Finding the diet easy now, got used to rumbling tum and eating loads of veg to fill me up. Also,i am feeling much better for the healthy diet. It will be interesting to see how much i have lost when the period ends, am so glad it came this week and not next week. Hoping this coming early will not continue, i am 54 and want them to STOP, that is it for today. I

pink grace

pink grace

 

What A Fortnight

My 88 year old mom in law passed away last night, such a difficult time, my mom is still very confused and we still don't know what is causing this. I had my pre op assessment today and was asked if i wanted to rescedule the op but we had talked about it and me and hubby decided we will still go ahead, his mom would want me to, so my op is still on tues 9th, Everything went well, just waiting for mrsa to be clear and the bloods to confirm my blood group. Went to my support group tonight and the dietician explained about dumping and why it happens, also why not to drink when eating, everyone was so positive it really did me good and i met a lady who is having a bypass on the monday and will be in the same ward as me, so i will know at least one person. I had lost 12 lbs today and loads of my waist, was very pleased. Am really worn out so off to bed now, and only 4 days to go, yay.

pink grace

pink grace

 

So Far So Good

felt elated last night at getting through the first day, managed to stay under the 800 cals, and when i woke up felt good but oh my goodness, this is real, 14 days to go. Got weighed and dropped 4lb but i knew i would because i had many visits to the loo. Keeping busy again today, sorted out the small dishes and cutlery i had bought ready for post op food.

pink grace

pink grace

 

Can Finally See The Starting Point

hi, I have just found out that my op will bee in 4-5weeks time and I am really happy that I know the approx date. my first appointment was in March 2011, I attended the seminar in June, then I had all the test, physiology etc and then a sleep apnea test, I had sleep apnea and got my cemap machine, which I hate wearing. I had to wait 3months to see if the treatment was working, it was ans the specialist would send this info off to the bariatric surgery team, only, he didn't. finally after no contact from anyone I asked my dietician if she could find out what the delay was. 3 weeks later was told they were waiting for results from apnea clinic. I felt abandoned and depressed that it was one delay after the other. finally in May got an appointment for signing the consent form, it was horrendous I had put about 5 lb back on and was told that i could not sign the consent and would go to the back of the list, devastaed is how I felt. I got an appointment for another consent signing In 6 weeks, and at this one had lost 12 lbs, so was able to sign consent. I had to have an endoscopy and they remove 2 small polyps from my stomach, at which point me and hubby decided I would go for the sleeve rather than the bypass.At the meeting tonight we   e sat next to a man who had the sleeve last Oct and he was 22stone on the day of his op and is now 13stone and was very encouraging, I asked him dozens of questions as did hubby, lol, and we came away happy that we have chosen the right op for me.I cannot exercise due to fibromyalgia and other health issues at this weight, but will be going swimming as soon as I can. to get fitter. It has been such a long wait and at times felt like I had to jump through their hoops, but now only concerned with getting as much weight of as i can before the op.that is it for now . x

pink grace

pink grace

 

finally feeling a bit better

the coughing is much less, still whooping when i cough but managing to cope with it better too. Need to get well now ready to have my sleeve, i have been told their is a space at the end of March, believing it will actually happen now, even though it can be a rollercoaster of feelings, trusting in God keeps me stable, planted firmly on my rock, Jesus. Mom is happy in her nursing home, just need to empty her bungalow now, in Gods strength, i will be doing lots of directing, lol. Thats it for now, xx

pink grace

pink grace

 

New Beginnings

We had hubbies mom's funeral yesterday, i was dreading it, but with my sons and the eldest sons girlfriend with us we did ok. We went out for the day today, just hubby and me to our favoroute seaside town, Scarborough, it was strange to be on our own, but it is just another thing we will have to get used to and we did have a lovely day. I decided to have a few days of my liver shrinking diet , there is no chance of a cancellation until after the 29th oct, the day i should get my blood test results so i figured i would have a few foods that i know i won't be eating for a long while. I am starting back on the diet strict on monday, to be ready for the op any time in november. I was surprised to find that i can not eat as much as i could do and actually knew when i had had enough, the pre op diet has done me some good. I had a fish today, in batter, and 2 toffee apples, the red toffee ones and really enjoyed them. My mom should be home next tues or wed so we have been busy moving things around for her new equimpment and are going to clean her bungalow tomorrow afternoon so it is nice and fresh for her homecoming. When my operation was delayed i was devastated and so down, but now i can see that in God's plans it was for my good. I was very close to my mom in law and it hit me harder than i thought it would and can now see how difficult it would have been to have my op just after she had died and to then have to go to the funeral would have probably been too much for me. I have been very fatigued with the grief, the fibromyalgia has been bad and at least now i get time to recover, but i am so ready for my op now. My sister had her operation the day after i was due to have mine, and has just got back the lab results, it is great news, they got all the cancer cells and she only had one cell in her lymph nodes which was removed, she will have radio therapy and be on tablets to stop the cancer coming back for 5 years, but it was caught early and they expect her to make a complete recovery, so happy for her and her partner. The autumn is really well and truly here now, the misty cold mornings with the crisp chill in the air and all the trees have turned into living fireworks of golds, oranges, reds and browns, they are a delight to the eyes. Next week we put our clocks back in the uk and it will be getting darker an hour earlier, we have long cosy dark evenings to look forward to, and then christmas. I am not a bit bothered wether i will be on liquids or soft food by then, i just want to have the operation and get on with loosing the weight and keeping it off. Some people are beginning to notice how much weight i have already lost, i have gone from a size 34 to a 28 and all my clothes are very loose on me, much more comfortable than been tight. Some are saying that i don't need the op now because i am doing so well, but i am not listening, i am loosing weight to have the operation so that this time i will loose the weight and keep it off for life, i wont have a huge stomach and be hungry all the time, but it is hard to get some normal size people to understand this. Hope everyone else is doing well, we are doing this because we need to, want to and with the tool of a sleeve we can all change our lives for the better, keep up the good work everyone,

pink grace

pink grace

 

whooohoooo

just got my date today 2nd May, start liver shrinking on 18th april i have got slow cooker bought, liquidiser washed and in place, hand blender, and all the little pots i need. After all this time i am so ready, i am still coughing but my doc said it is acid reflux and my lungs are fine so it wont stop my op, but i want it gone, i am on countdown, really excited, im a may sleever, xxxxx :wub:

pink grace

pink grace

 

blood test for lupus - still waiting

Havn't felt like updating my blog, limbo land can be a lonely desolate place, it is only my Trust in God and my hubby that is keeping me going. I had a blood test for lupus 2 weeks on monday, don't know how long they will take. Hoping they will be back on monday so the surgeon can look at them on tues. Went to my local w l s support group last night, came away really down, even though the speaker was very good. As i sat waiting for hubby to come and push me, he dropped me off in my wheelchair and had to go park the car, i saw another bunch of new applicants coming out holding their white papers and worried looks on their faces, i can spot them a mile off, and can only wonder how many will get there, and how long it will take them. This year i had a chateract off my left eye on the 4th jan and it was good to start the new year with much better eyesight, am trying to be positive for the start of 2013, a new stomach and a new me, just got to try and not do too much damage over christmas, will only have to starve to get it off, so better not to overindulge. Happy Christmas sleevers and sleevers to be, enjoy the build up to Christmas and have a blessed day and a fantastic new you in the new year, lots of love, xx

pink grace

pink grace

 

liver shrinking diet x 2

hi friends, I have been on my liver shrinking diet since last tuesday, I started off trying the milk n yoghurt diet but after running to the loo at tea time decided to do the food diet like last time, I have lost 10lb in 5 days, I will get weighed tomorrow and it could be more, I had put 6lb on since christmas, so am pleased to have got that off and a good start to being near to my 19 stone goal for the day of my op. I am finding the diet much easier this time and i think this is because i am having 2 eggs srambled on one slice of dry brown toast for the first meal of the day. I have a salad for lunch, 1 soya yoghurt and 1 apple at teatime and veg n lean meat cooked in my slow cooker for evening meal, i have being having 800 cals, 1 day i had 995, and lots of nas squash, tea with soya milk allowance. I am having mixed emotions this time, last time i was excited all the time, but as it was cancelled and 7 months later back on, until i wake up and they tell me it is done, I won't let myself be too excited. I know God is with me and my trust is in him, really hope i continue to be so positive and have no fear on the day, ive worked hard and waited 2 years 7 months for this, many friends are praying for me, thanks be to God, will write again before my op, x I know this is what i want and God is with me, its the natural feelings i have to ignore, and i will be so happy when i wake up to find its done. How i feel at the moment I would have it tomorrow.

pink grace

pink grace

 

my new date is April

well, i am nearly there, and my op has been delayed again, this time it is because the 24 is the weekend and there are less staff at a weekend and with me having several health issues they want to operate on a week day so that there will be more staff available. Even though i am one of the smaller patients, they are taking my health issues seriously and that should work for my good. Im not upset by this delay, but am relieved, my throat is still congested and i am still coughing until i see stars and faint and have been worried if i would be well enough in 3 weeks. This is the worst virus i have ever had, i still cant talk but squeak, but the cough is not as often so i am getting better, just dread it when i start to cough because i just cant stop, and i dont want to be coughing at all after my sleeve. I am back to my pre op assesment weight and am trying to keep on track and continue to loose some more weight before my op.v Weve nearly finished sorting moms clothes, lots have gone to charity and i have safed some for when i loose weight. Mom is settled in her new home and is been looked after very well, which means a lot to us. Will be so relieved when her bungalow is empty and the keys handed back, cant wait, then we can sart on our home which has been neglected looking after our moms, hey ho, onwards we go, x God id good

pink grace

pink grace

 

April will be my month

Had my appointment with the haematologist today, i finally have the results i need to have my operation, i have the factor in my blood but not the syndrome which is the thing that does the damage, so i can have my operation i just need to have blood thinning drugs after for a bit longer just as a precaution, just waiting to hear from my surgeon with a new date in april, so close now and actually believe i will have my op in april, who hoo, so ready for this, x

pink grace

pink grace

 

One Day I Will Be Sleeved

just spent 45 mins typing an update and poof, when i tried to preview it and edit a word it dissapeared basically, still waiting for blood test results, really fed up of waiting, not got my hopes up to have my op in november any more. Today i have cast my cares on the Lord and will have my op when He gives me the date, He knows best. I know i still want my sleeve, and will restart the liver shrinking diet when i have a new date for my sleeve. I am not concerned if it is just before christmas, any time soon will be ok with me, i was motivated and ready for oct 9th and can do it again, but this time without the problem of my blood it will be safer. Hope everyone is doing well, sleeved or to be sleeved, God Bless, xx

pink grace

pink grace

 

1st February

Where has the month gone, i'm glad it has gone because it brings me nearer to finding out when my sleeve will be. It is 2 years now since i begun the process and i am so ready to get this done and to move into my new sleeved life. The latest update is i am still waiting, for yet more blood tests to come back to finaly know what is wrong with my blood. I have another appointment of the 18 th feb to see the heamatologist again, when hopefully the blood tests will be back and i should be given a certificate stating what is wrong with my blood in case i want to have more procedures in the future. I was glad that even though i have lupus it is not full blown, i presume i will have to keep having blood tests to monitor the lupus. I have my mom in hospital yet again, and she has decided she wants to go into a nursing home as it is too much for her to live at home anymore, only time will tel if she actually does go into a nursing home, we got Robins mom a place in a brilliant home last year then the day before she was due to move in she changed her mind. I am hoping i can have my sleeve in march and no later, but until i am actually being wheeled into the operating room for the op it wont seem real. I am trusting in the Lord and not leaning on my own understanding and know He will direct my way. Counting down the days again, xx

pink grace

pink grace

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