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accountable tomorrow!

Wow, holidays and all the food accompanying it SUCK! I know I have gained some and since it is tom I am not weighing right now. I am a firm believer in "you can't fix what you won't acknowledge" (dr phil) but I will acknowledge it in a few days, k? lol I mean why get on the scales and depress myself right now? I will just be a really good girl and hope like hell I can loose back down to at least 207 before I get on them! Last time I got on scales they were 211.5 but that was the day before I started my period so I am praying for massive amount of water rentention :biggrin:. I froze the christmas cookies I made to get them out of my sight. Hmmm, maybe a handful of diet pills to get back on track after the holidays isn't a bad idea...:rolleyes2:. For the energy if not anything else. I am just rambling. My dr would not give them to me anyway since I am banded. I would feel like a major jackass asking anyway. Maybe dh can go get some:tongue2:. The only other kickstart idea I can think of is a swift kick from some of my violet friends. You would think having to buy fat girl clothes again to replace my skinny ones from last year would be incentive enough, right? It is. This is just temporary. I am a winner and I will win this one too!:rolleyes3: GO ME! :glare: Have a fantastic Christmas everyone and don't eat anything you don't wanna see on the scales....trust me!

TracyK

TracyK

 

up down up down

Yo Yo'ing. Dontcha just love it? But I mean what can you really expect when ou are on your TOM? I am not a stupid person but I did a stupid thing...I weighed when I was on my period. Come on now, common sense said DON"T DO IT!! Did I listen, hell no....did I regret it? Hell YEAH! Ugh...gotta love seeing the +5 pounds from water retention. Then the mind games start....is it really water weight...omg what if it isn't? YIKES!:cry_smile: That was a few days ago and I am staying away from the scales for another day and hopefully when I get on tomorrow it will be back down where it was. I am so paranoid about weighing....horrible, right? Well, like Dr Phil says, "you can not fix what you won't acknowledge". I have a bag of clothes that used to fit when I was down to 175...and I outgrew them and I was gonna bring them to goodwill. I think I will keep them for when I get back down to that weght. Not IF, but WHEN I get back down to that weight :thumbup:. My babygirl is going to be getting up soon so I need to finish my coffee....just wanted to post on my blog so I can look back at this day and remember how I felt. Geez, talk about rambling now....buh bye!

TracyK

TracyK

 

Happy Labor Day

Whoa, the holidays are right around the corner. Unless I show a great deal of self restraint I could seriously blow it and be right back to my surgery weight by January. Can't/won't let that happen. I see the danger and that is a huge thing. I see that as the first step in making it through the holidays OK. With today being Labor day it seems like a good day to really jump back on the bandwagon. If I were to re-read these blogs I would prob see that same sentence quite a few times. But better to keep starting than to not try at all...right? Halloween...I do not really have that big of an issue with halloween. It is mainly Thanksgiving and Christmas that I have the problem with because of the baking! :ohmy: I started the Turkey Day challenge thread so that will get me kick started. We can do this! :thumbdown:

TracyK

TracyK

 

2 months later...good news & bad news

Well now, lets see. Here it is, 2 months since my last blog entry (which was a really good one if I must admit it myself) and I just had to come and update. Good news....#1. the scale is going down. and #2. I only let it get up to 226 before I finally decided enough was enough. :thumbup: Bad news...I JUST NOW got the rejuvination I needed to restart my journey. But I guess that isnt really bad news, right? My husband and I have joined 24 hour fitness and tomorrow we have our first meetings with our personal trainers. This dream is going to become a reality again for me. This time focused on a goal I know I can reach because I have reached it once already. When I was first banded I had my goal set at 165 then just changed it to 16anything. I got down to 173 and for the life of me could not get those last 4 pounds off. I felt like a failure because I did not reach the NUMBER I wanted. Now I know what to do. Strive to feel good. If memory serves me correctly the 18somethings is when I could look in the mirror and think, "hmm, I look pretty good!". That is what I wanna be able to say again. So, this time I am not going to obsess over it. Another thing I am going to do differently is the way I eat. Before, I had gotten stuck in a rut, eating the same things (diet foods) over & over. This time I am going to use the band for what it can do for me. I am going to eat "normal" (ok relatively normal) foods and just listen to my band tell me when I am full. That way I am not depriving myself of tasty things, but focusing more on the quantity. At least, that is what I am going to try to do. If it doesn't work, I will try something else. :glare: Even if all I can get down is 4 bites, at least it will be 4 bites of something good, ya know? I dunno....what I DO know is I am going to make it. For sure. And I will blog more so I can be accountable :sad:. Go ME!

TracyK

TracyK

 

ow ow OWWW!!

Went to the gym and met with a personal trainer yesterday and all I can say right now is OUCH!!!! My thighs are SO sore I could die! :thumbup: I have another meeting with him in 2 hours and I am thinking, hmmm, I can hardly walk, what am I gonna do? lol It's all good and it is so worth it! I am down to 220 so I have lost 6 pounds in the past week or so. I know alot is water weight but 6 pounds of water is just as heavy as 6 pounds of anything so it counts! It is 6 that I do not have to carry around any longer!:sad: I need to get off here and hobble in there to get my dd ready for school. I will post when I get out of the gym. Pray for me!

TracyK

TracyK

 

Sunday chatter...

I lost another pound of my hurricane evacuation weight. Down to 212 this morning! :clap: I watched something REALLY depressing last night. Informative, but depressing. It was that "YOU on a diet" show with Dr Oz. One of the 3 people they were putting on this diet was a woman my height 5'7 and she weighed 165 (my ultimate goal). Are you kidding me? They said that women overall should have a 32" waist or smaller. OK, so THAT isn't gonna happen....maybe a 32" thigh! It was just depressing to see them start with a subject that weighs what my goal weight is! UGH...:rolleyes2: That aside, it was an informative show. If I went and emptied my cabinets of all the dangerous "bad" items my cabinets would probably be almost empty! Sure gives me food for thought.

TracyK

TracyK

 

the same is better than up

Still at 212 this morning. I can handle it. If I would not have stopped the foolishness when i did I would be up to 220 by now so I am very happy.:rolleyes2: My paperback swap shop that i always went to is ruined because of Ike so now I am bookless:sad_smile:. Not good. I use books and sunflower seeds to keep my mind off smoking. Thursday Survivor starts! WOOT:w00t: I love that show. I am hopelessly devoted:wub: This has been pretty much a ramble about nothing post so I will just stop myself here.....

TracyK

TracyK

 

Bye bye 206

I did it....I finally did it! What a joyous occasion it was when I stepped on the scales this morning! 204.5. :confused: How is *that* for incentive to behave myself over the holidays? I never wanna see that dumb number again. I have so much to be thankful for. I am truly blessed. I have a Godsent family, I am healthier than I have ever been (even though I gained some weight back), I am a nonsmoker for the first Thanksgiving since 1983....my family is healthy, I have a great group of friends here on this site (shout out to the violets WOOT-WOOT)). I may not be rich in money but I am rich in every single other aspect of my life. What more can someone ask? OMG, I am going to sit here and make myself cry. There are so many people who are not as happy as I am right now. That breaks my heart. Some have lost loved ones this past year, some are homeless, jobless, so many scenarios. My heart goes out to them. I am counting my blessings. Whether I am 400 pounds or 130 pounds (yeah right), I am blessed. Thank you God. To anyone who might be reading this blog...have a wonderful Thanksgiving and do not eat anything you might regret on Friday. Make healthy choices. Now if I can practice what I preach I will be in business!! Once again....BYE BYE 206.....

TracyK

TracyK

 

doing other things

Excuse me while I sit her and type to myself .:clap: Once again sitting here trying to figure out what to do other than eat. I never really realized how much I eat just out of pure boredom. I lost another pound so I am down to 211. I have 2 more pounds to lose until I get back to my pre-hurricane Ike weight. Then 30 more to get back to where I was in February.:rolleyes2: Happens to the best of us I guess. 30 pounds is better than 40 right? Heck yeah! I am really glad that the biggest loser is back on TV. I don't know why but it seems like I lose weight really well while that show is on. My daughters school starts back tomorrow. First day back since the hurricane. She does not wanna go at all. She loves staying with me. I love having her home but she has to go! Oh well I have babbled enough!

TracyK

TracyK

 

"rock"tober

That is what my mission is...to Rocktober. I am going to have a fantastic month (even if it kills me). My goal is to be back in onederland by Thanksgiving. That is approx 6 weeks away. Attainable? Sure it is. There is only one thing that can keep me from doing it....ME. So, with that being said, it is time to get off my ass and get to work! :thumbup: See ya!

TracyK

TracyK

 

can you spell STUCK?!

TRACYK, that is how. I have been stuk on this 206 number for long enough. Thank goodness I am not depressed enough to EAT, but motivated enough NOT to eat! Should be starting TOM soon so I am scared to weigh because of retaining fluid. I will probably just weigh in the morning and then not weigh again until tom is gone. Wanna know what my downfall is? Enchiladas. OMG, they slide down the old pipes. This next part is for myself (to kick things around in my own head for therapy) and for newbie banded people. I have had more new people that read my blog ask questions like "I thought with the band we would not be able to eat this or that". Picture this...(for instance folks, k?) say I am a drug head. I want some pills really bad because I have been clean (a good bandster) for over a year but now I really really need to "get high". I will figure out any way I can to get that high. Shakes go down...ice cream goes down, cheesecake goes down, cookies go down. Get the picture? If you got/are getting the band to "save you" from the sinking ship, you might wanna realize that you have to do some swimming to help save yourself!. The band is VERY helpful in losing weight. I would not trade it for anything! It is my life preserver for when I get really tired an feel like I can't swim anymore. Ugh, that probably made sense to NObody but me. But, I know what I meant. lol I guess what I am saying is don't expect a miracle, BE the miracle!:angry_smile:

TracyK

TracyK

 

Finally! Next goal is...

I finally made it back to 209 which was my preIKE weight. WOW...I thought it would never come off! Now my next small goal is 19something. You will have to pull me off the ceiling when I hit that one again. This time it will have new meaning for me. New meaning in the respect of I do not have smoking to lean on anymore. I am not smoking AND I am losing the weight that I gained as a result of quitting. So, I am proving something huge to myself. I am a winner. I have not felt that way in a long time. I know yesterday I was frustrated...I am sure I will have more frustration to come because I am only human but for today I am a happy camper!

TracyK

TracyK

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