So I’ve been feeling a bit … I don’t know … down, disheartened, unsuccessful…. I don’t know what the word should be… For one thing, I’ve been really sick for the last ten days with a combo cold/allergy thing. I’m finally feeling better physically and mentally, so here I am.
Another reason for my “mood” is that when I went for my last dr visit, at my four-week mark, I had only lost 5 lbs. This was so disappointing after my huge second week loss. I had to remember that I had been storing a huge amount of fluid for almost two years so that was the first thing to come off. Needless to say, I was a bit anxious about my doctors appointment yesterday.
I had decided that I needed to take a chill pill and give myself a bit of credit. I’ve on this challenge and have been pretty successful with the huge change in my life. I’ve kept my protein intake up and am (aside from the cold from hell) feeling pretty fantastic. I also reminded myself that it took a long time, for the most part, to get here and it will take a while to take it all off and as long as I continue to go down, even if its one pound at a time, it’s an improvement.
So with this pep talk under my figurative belt, I bravely (cough) went to my doctor’s appointment yesterday. This was my family doctor who I last saw the day before my surgery so I actually was pretty stoked to show him my success to this point. Actually, it was the first time I’ve been happy to be weighed in at his office in the last two years. Prior to this, I had been gaining every time I would go in. It was frustrating for me but also to my doctor because we could not stop whatever was going on. Last time I saw him, I had a raging case of cellulitis on my left leg, not to mention that the same leg was twice (at least) the size of my right leg.
Thank goodness that my anxiety was short-lived!! I had lost 8 lbs and that officially put me under 300 lbs!! This is the first time in almost two years that I have seen that! This brings my official weight loss to 45 lbs in six weeks! Yeah me!! My doctor was also very pleased with my progress. Not only had I lost a lot of weight but I no longer had cellulitis and the swelling is gone from my legs. And even though I’m still sneezing, my O2 stat was at 89, and I’m still not feeling 100%, he (and I) were so excited that my lungs were totally clear!! You have to understand that prior to this, every single time I would get a cold it would mean weeks of recovery, antibiotics, and a general miserable existence until it would clear up. Not only did this not happen this time BUT I really didn’t even have to increase my medications (nebulizer etc) this time. Very little wheezing, huffin’ & puffin’, etc… Yeah! I’m loving this new life!!
So, with my usual positive outlook back in order (and great drugs keeping the nose under control!) I decided to take inventory of what I am able to do now that I could not do six weeks ago or for the last two years, for that matter. Now I understand that if you have never been large then you may not realize what a huge accomplishment these things are but if you have walked in my shoes at all…. you get it!! So here we go…..
The first thing I noticed, of course, was that I could breath. I know I have mentioned this in previous entries but when you feel like you are suffocating 24/7, it is pretty major. Of course, with this obstacle pushed somewhat to the side, I am now able to walk without feeling like I’m going to have a heart attack or pass out at any moment. I can put on my bra by myself. I know, you are thinking “What?” well I could not reach around behind my back and hook my bra so my dear hubby had to do it for me. I think he kinda feels left out now! lol I can take a shower without having to sit down as soon as I get out AND I can shave my legs with ease!! I can fix my hair win half the time that it was taking me. I also have not heard my husband ask me “Why are you breathing so hard?” for a while now. (Yeah!!) There are a lot of other things but the latest two things just happened in the last week or two…. I put on and tied my own tennis shoes with the bow ON TOP and I painted my toenails this morning! I even got a compliment from one of my bosses… she thought I had gotten a pedicure!! Again YEAH!!
So with this happy evalutation, I am now looking forward and will hopefully keep the negativity at bay. Happy journey and Hugs!!!
This is from a blog I have on WordPress. I started this on July 16, 2012. I'm just trying to bring you up to speed with my journey.....
07/16/2012
So I did not think I would be writing anything this soon... I figured tomorrow evening at the earliest but probably not until Wed or Thurs. However, the surgery devils had other plans!
First you need to know that, while I am a very easy going, even tempered kinda lady, I am also very anal and like to know which row my ducks are in!! Having said that, I went last week to make sure all my ducks were quacking in harmony. Talked to everyone you are supposed to talk with and had all my testing done. So, knowing I have really good insurance and that I asked all the right questions, I thought nothing more about that part of it....until today.
I get a call from a very pleasant woman about 1:30/2:00 telling me I have to pay a hellatious amount of money BEFORE I can have my surgery in the morning. I now know what it feels like to be hit with a ton of bricks. She also, very graciously, asks me if my finances were okay. I decided (somewhere in the fog) that it would be prudent of me to call her back, especially since I could no longer breath.
Now I know that there are a select few people who may have an extra bundle laying around but that is not my case. While my husband and I are not in the poor house, we can see it down the road so, no, my finances are not okay for this kind of unexpected onslaught. So as I sit there, in shock, crying and hyperventilating (okay so maybe I'm stretching it just a bit for dramatic value), I am texting and calling anyone I can think of, as is my dear husband. My sister-in-law, very sanely, tells me to call them back and set up a payment plan.... duhhhh....oh wait, they won't because, although its going to save my life, it is considered an elective surgery. I had to chuckle at that one. Obviously, whoever makes these rules has never been in my situation but I digress.
After a couple of back and forth conversations, my wonderful, could not ask for better, in-laws said that they would pay for me. Of course, I am paying them back but I can NEVER express to them how eternally grateful I am to them and to my wonderful husband who got that ball rolling. I love them all so much that words just really do not do it justice. I have been so blessed by this family that I thank God every day for them.
So I can, once again, breath (well as good as I ever do) and can enjoy my evening with my husband and sister-in-law. Thank you to all who have expressed their well wishes and sent prayers.... love and hugs to you all!!!
I havent posted for a bit because I've been allergy/sick ridden!!! I know I posted about that last time but I finally feel like I may be on the mend after a couple of rounds of steroids (ughhh the swelling!!) and antibiotics. Just in time for my 52nd birthday tomorrow!! Yes folks, I am proud to say that I have survived somehow for these many long years!! And now that I've had the surgery, I will actually live for many more to come. And I do mean living.... going and doing and loving and living and shopping and playing and singing and dancing and and and and...... That is the joy of the surgery and having lost over 50lbs now... at my last drs visit it was 55lbs to be exact. Yeah!!
I've been able to become an active member of my own life. I have just existed for so long that I had forgotten how marvelous it can be to just walk through the store with out huffing and puffing. I'm able to act like a goofball (I am a chronic goofball) at work with my bff and not want to pass out... I can go to baby showers, restraunts, stores, nails, hair, and the list could go on and actually enjoy myself while doing it. What an AMAZING way to start my 52nd year on this great plant... I am loving life right now and I have such a great support group around me, especially my husband. He has been amazing and one of my biggest cheerleaders. We have been amazed by the changes I've gone through.
One of the oddest things is my forearms feel "skinny" lol... I've also discovered I have shoulders! Who knew??? lol I can even feel the beginnings of a hip bone.... I KNOW!! I feel like I'm losing inches faster than pounds, which is perfectly fine with me, just is rather odd. Have any of you felt the same way? Just a curiosity question. I had to go buy new bras cuz I'm shrinking out of my old ones.... not cup but number wise. I'm losing back fat which is great! My stomach is wrinkling and bat wings are flying!!! lol
One thing I've been upset about is since I started on the Predisone, my cellulitis has come back. I'm just vain enough for it to really bother me. I love wearing my capris and feel like I have fairly decent legs now that they arent so swollen. I is very frustrating but one of those things I have to live with I guess. I thought it was over but NOT! lol
Okay last little tidbit, which has absolutely nothing to do with weight loss but everything to do with it as well..... My daughter's bday gift to me is telling me her baby #3 is on the way. Yeah and I will be able to be a different kind of grandma for this one from the get go. I am the "cool" grandma anyway but now I'll be fun too!
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and a spectacular journey!! Hugs to you all!!!
P.S. The picture is from today. I can see a difference but very subtle.
It has now, officially, been one week since my surgery and, BOY!, what a difference a week makes! While I am still not 100% yet, I am feeling fantastic!! Yesterday, I actually felt human again and even shaved my legs!!
Okay, now that may not sound like such a big deal to most but for me it was huge! I may be a big girl but there are some things that I, admittedly, am very vain about. I like to look good and have my mani/pedi's etc so, yeah, huge!! I also fixed my hair, plucked my eyebrows (vanity!) and put me on some face paint! I even had my dear hubby take me out for a drive and we ventured into Wal-Mart! By the time we got home, I was pooped but in a good way.
I have had this huge amount of fluid just languishing in my body for almost two years now. This has caused great swelling in my hands and face and my left leg which has caused the dreaded cellulitis. It has also been like a ton of bricks on my chest which in turn has affected my breathing considerably. I am very happy to report that I can now see my left ankle, my cellulitis has cleared up and I am breathing much, much easier. I am still and always will be asthmatic but not having to gasp for every breath with every move I make is amazing! I almost forgot what it felt like. It's amazing to me that these changes have happened in only one week.
I still have a long way to go but after not feeling so good last week, this is a welcome change in mind and body. I am really looking forward to going back to work on Monday and seeing all my friends there who have been so supportive. Just to get back to my life in general will be wonderful.
I don't want to neglect my wonderful, supportive, loving and all around good guy, my husband, Mike. He and his family have all been so good to me ever since we got together almost four years ago. I could not ask for a better family to be apart of.
Guess that's it for today folks! Hope you all have a wonderful day and Hugs!!
Hello all of my fellow sleevers!! Hope this post is finding you all feeling fantastic or at least better. I have had an amazing week personally although I have to say I'm feeling punky today. I started back to work on Monday and everyone at work was so happy to see me back and feeling so good. I'm very blessed to have a lot of supportive people in my life. Several people in my office have had some type of bypass or sleeve done and most of them were shocked I was back so soon and that I felt so good. I just tell them I have Frequent Surgery Miles and am tougher than a $2.00 steak!! lol I think I am just one of those lucky few who heal fairly easily and can handle the stress on my body.
So anyway, Tuesday was officially my two week mark and Wednesday my first check up. I was shocked, amazed, and ecstatic that not only was I feeling super great but I lost a whopping 32 lbs!!!! Oh yeah baby!!! I knew this was going to work but I guess I just really didnt expect such great results right away. Needless to say, I'm one happy camper!!
The eating thing has been hard because until yesterday, I didn't experience any hunger pains. I have been making myself "eat" drink and be merry! lol I am up to soft baby food consistency things (even baby food). Add a little seasoning and they aren't half bad. We did buy one of those individual cup mixer machines (dont know if brand names are allowed) so I'm going to try pureeing my own stuff probably next week.
I'm looking forward to watching my progress along with people on here. You all are amazing and courageous!! Its not for the weak of mind thats for sure!! Carry on with your journey and hold a song in your heart. The journey is only as worthwhile as you make it!! Hugs!!
I stayed in the hospital until yesterday and it's probably a good thing because I have breathing issues and I had a lot of pressure from the air they blow your stomach up with. Having never had a laparoscopic surgery, I did not appreciate just how much they put in there. You would think someone would come up with some ingenious idea to let the air out.
Another good reason for me to not have done this follow-up is that, apparently, I was drunk texting people, which is never a good thing. And, yes, my friends and family happily have been torturing me with these various text messages. So my public service message is; don't morphine and text!
My musings of the surgery is that it is not something to take on lightly. I did a lot of research prior to doing the gastric sleeve. I have had many surgeries due to hernias and intestinal strangulations so I did not just decide to do this. I can only speak for myself, but the actual surgery has not really caused me a great deal of pain, however, I have been quite uncomfortable. The pressure, for me, has been extreme and caused havoc with my breathing. The solution to relieve this is, yes folks, passing gas. Not pretty or very lady like but a necessary evil. Unfortunately, you have to get mobile to get the engine going and that is a problem for me so I'm still fairly uncomfortable but it is getting better.
I was shocked when I looked at my stomach for the first time. Part of the hospital procedure is to give the patient a blood thinner every 12 hours. It's interesting to see what this does. Every where I got a shot, I have a big bruise. They don't hurt but they look gnarly. My other incisions have no stitches but are instead super glued! They are mildly tender but really are of no consequence.
Probably my very worse experience was yesterday when they had to remove my drainage tube. I am really glad my husband was not in the room at the actual moment it was removed because he probably would have gone ballistic. There is a small balloon that keeps it in your body and cannot be deflated. It has to just be yanked out quickly. I will not sugar coat it... it hurts like a s.o.b.!!!! My husband and sister-in-law came in just after while I was still in my throes of pain. Not a pretty site I'm sure. I really felt bad for my sweet little nurse because she felt so guilty but it was a necessity.
I think I will go back to bed now and rest. Hugs to all!!
Hiddy ho, everyone!!! Its been a bit since I have been here but I'm back. Not alot has changed but then again, everything has changed. I know, a contradiction in terms.... that would be me!!
Well the first thing I want to talk about is frustration and lying scales!! Okay so maybe they don't lie but it sure feels like it. This is why I have purposely not gotten a scale for my house because I KNOW I would become wayyyyy to involved in weighing myself. So I have choosen to just weigh in when I go to a doctors appointment. I went Friday for a "sick" visit, which I will get to in a few. Anyhoo, I was actually very excited about this because it had been a few weeks since I last weighed in. I was feeling really good about it, especially with all the mucus I have blown out (I know TMI) and even excited, which if you are anything like me, is a very very weird feeling indeed!!
My clothes have been getting bigger and bigger and I've had more energy (kinda) and I can walk without gasping for every breath. So I go in thinking I've lost at least 15 more pounds.... NOT! I had only lost 5lbs more but I got to thinking that is still an accomplishment. Also my body is acting more like 15lbs than 5lbs so who am I to complain?? I will but still lol.... I have lost exactly 50lbs since July 17 so that is really something to be happy about and don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy and proud, just wanting it to go faster. Never thought of myself as being impatient but I guess it is something I can add to my personal resume'.
Okay, now about the "sick" visit. I got a cold about a month ago. Normally because of my major breathing issues, I would have missed a couple of days of work and kept my fingers crossed to keep pneumonia at bay. This time though, it was really no big deal even though I did feel like crap. My issue is that I got over the cold in about a week but have continued to sneeze my way through at least 10 boxes of tissues!! My nose hurts, my face is chapped and my eyes feel like they have lead weights in them!! I've never been prone to allergies but I've got a whopping case of them now. My friend/mentor at work said she also got bad allergies also after her surgery. Anyone else having the same issues? I got a huge shot of steroids in my posterior and was feeling fairly okay until today and I'm back to sneezing and blowing again!! Anyone heard of a nose transplant??? Jest askin'
I have given away my first bag of clothes which is truly a blessing. One of the funny "side affects" is my pants are getting too long! Less booty and belly make for long pants lol.... Again, not that I'm complaining!! One thing I guess I didn't really think about is the deflation of my body and what would happen. I have been blessed with very good genes and have very little grey hair for someone almost 52 and very few wrinkles.... or had very few! I am now the relunctant owner of varying types of wrinkle / toner creams. I have mentioned in previous entries that I can be vain about some things... well this is the latest!! As my face is deflating, my wrinkles are increasing!!
I also have discovered that I am developing bat wings!! arghhhhhh!!! I've always been very muscular so never really thought much about that but it is happening. Fortunately, I already have the rubber excercise thingymabobbers (okay so exercise equipment is not my fortay!) so I guess I'm going to have to make it a part of my routine (that does not yet exist) to recapture a forgotten youthful body that, honestly, I don't remember ever really having. I do have a picture from when I was 19 or so and I did look pretty hot but I just never got the confirmation of that fact. I just remember being told I was never thin enough or going to be loved if I didn't get skinny or thin or whatever so I had a poor body image even though it really wasn't so bad.
Now I haven't told you this for sympathy or the po' me's... no, its just to point out that many of us have had the same experiences and journies, although each are unique. Its how you decide to steer the ship that decides your satisfaction with said journey. I have been very blessed to have had many many people truly love me for who I am and not for what I look like. Something that many of us have to deal with is the fear our mates may have that we will lose weight and then leave them (like my hubster!). My theory is that he loves me like I am and will love me as much or more later. He has stood by me through illness' and surgeries and my failing health so I believe he deserves and has earned the good times too. Besides, he's kinda cute for an old fart!! :wub:
Which brings me to my other topic of discussion.... intimacy. Now I'm not going to get graphic because, for one thing, yuk, and another is some of my family members actually read my blog so I will spare them. It is, however, one of the perks of getting this weight off.... I can hug and cuddle with my husband. It is amazing how much better our interpersonal relations are now that we have both lost weight. And no, I'm not just talking about s.e.x...... I'm talking about being able to pass each other in the kitchen without doing acrobatic moves or now fitting in our bed together comfortably. This may not sound like a big deal to some but oh yeah, it is!!
So I guess I will stop here for now. If anyone has any suggestions on the subject of allergies, please bring them on.... I hope everyone has a wonderful week and continue to enjoy your journey!!! Hugs!!
I have decided to go on an adventure. It was a huge decision on my part because it is a life changing and body altering choice. First, I think a little back ground is needed.
I have always been a "big girl" although, looking at pictures, not always as big as I thought. I actually prefer the term "BBB - Big Bodacious Broad" but that's just me! I have always been comfortable in my own skin. I was always active and a full participant in my life until a few years ago. Over the course of the years, I have had many, many stomach surgeries since my twins were born (that would be 25 years!). I realize that there are a lot of "always" but there really is no other way for me to say it.
So this brings me to July 2009. I had two major surgeries in two weeks due to intestinal strangulation. This was a tremendous "wow" moment for me for many reasons. The main one was my dear husband. We had only been married for six months when this happened. Not only did I have these two surgeries but the next month, due to an infection, they actually had to do another surgery and leave my stomach open for over eight long months. I was connected to a wound vac and it was less than fun. This greatly impacted our life as you can well imagine.
As it turned out, I had to have more surgery to close my stomach but the surgeon would not do it until I stopped smoking. I smoked for over 35 years so this was no small request but I think I was actually ready to stop. I took that medication (which shall remain nameless) that, in my opinion, is a miracle cure for smoking. Contrary to some reports, I had no side effects. Within ten days, I was done and able to have my closure surgery.
I was doing fantastic!! I was breathing well, losing weight, helping to mow the yard, and actually walking. Shortly after this, we moved back to Texas, which I was totally stoked about because my kids and grandkids were all here. As it turned out, though, it was a bit stressful at first and I began smoking again. Not a good excuse and I knew I could not do that to myself so I decided to take my miracle medication again and again it worked like a charm.
Well, okay, so there was one small issue this time. I was sitting at work and my hands started hurting. I looked down and literally watched myself blow up like a balloon. Apparently, the medication was reacting with another one I had started taking. From February to April of 2011, I gained over 60 pounds. The total since then is over 80 lbs and its all fluid. I have done everything that I have been asked to do but nothing has worked.
So here we are to today, July 16, 2012. In 24 hours, I will be having a surgery called the gastric sleeve. I am very excited about this and cannot wait to have my life back. It will be a huge change in how my husband and I live our life, especially for the first few months. First off, I really won't be eating for awhile. My husband is a fantastic cook and it will be as hard on him because we are foodies. I'm not really worried though. I'm so looking forward to, first, being able to breath and, second, hopefully, not being in so much pain every day. All the fluid has made breathing a huge issue for me. I'm asthmatic so not a good thing.
At 10:00 a.m. tomorrow morning, I will be happily, excitedly and enthusiastically going under the knife. I am going to continue to blog about my progress, not only for myself, but, hopefully, to help someone else along the way. I also am going to post a picture of me now which is a HUGE issue for me because as much as I am comfortable being me, I am not happy with me physically right now. But changes are a coming!!!
