So, this morning on my drive to work, I got to thinking about "being on a journey". I've always found the whole "this is a journey" thing a little cheeseball, but now that I'm ON IT, I realize it's a completely accurate description. The trick will be staying on it! I started envisioning this process as a road trip (my favorite) and it struck me that I'm still in my driveway, and I'm not getting on the road today! I got the referral to the nutritionist in the mail yesterday but when I called, the scheduling office was already closed. This morning I left the dang paper at home so I couldn't call at work. By the time I got home, it was too late to call again!! Better luck tomorrow, I already put it in my purse for tomorrow, I did make SOME progress today. I called my insurance to verify that WLS is a covered benefit on my ***. She said it is "as long as your PCP says it's medically necessary" but I already know there are other prerequisites. The woman on the phone just kept referring me back to my PCP - she didn't even know what a vertical sleeve gastrectomy was!! Fortunately, I used to work for the company that I'm currently insured through, so I knew how to locate their medical policy online to get the requirements myself. I was surprised to find they haven't changed much in the last 5 years since I worked for them! LOL! AND! VSG IS COVERED! yay!!
Eligibility:
be at least 18 years of age. CHECK!
Be BMI 40+. (less enthusiastically) Check.
**the rest I still need to do:
Documentation from the surgeon that I have completed:
- a nutrition program, which may include a VLC diet or recognized commercial diet based weight loss program AND
- Behavior modifications or behavioral health interventions AND
- Counseling and instruction on exercise and increased physical activity AND
- Ongoing support for lifestyle changes to make and maintain appropriate choices that will reduce health risk factors and improve overall health AND
- psych eval w/i 12 mo AND
- absence of psychological comorbidity that could contribute to weight management and/or an eating disorder AND
- patient willingness to comply with preoperative and postoperative treatment instructions.
Seems like a lot, but really it's what? Nutritionist consult (working on scheduling that), a psych eval (need to ask about that), and going to the seminar the hospital does should cover the rest. Right? Or am I way off?
I'm getting worried about how much this is going to cost. Despite being on an ***, i have a LOT of out of pocket expenses. I have a $500/day copay for the hospital stay. Plus it's $40 copay every time I see the PCP and goes up to $60 for specialists (including the nutritionist I have to see (at least 4 visits, per my referral slip), the psych eval and visits to the bariatric Dr. too!!). I can just see this being a real financial hardship. I know it will be worth it, and it's NOT a deterrent for me, but I'm just realistically trying to see how I can squeeze this money out of my budget right now and the outlook is not good!! I was trying to realistically think about how much time I could AFFORD to take off work when I have surgery and I started getting a little panicky! How am I going to afford this? WHY does my insurance suck so bad (I WORK FOR AN INSURANCE COMPANY - I WOULD THINK I'D GET THE BEST!!! WRONG!)??? And then thinking about long term expenses like how am I going to afford all the new clothes I'm gonna need? And the vitamins and protein shakes, and gym membership and yadda yadda yadda -
and then I realized that that's why it's a journey. And why it's especially like a road trip. All this hardship and work and everything is like a long, sweaty ride to The Grand Canyon. The one where you're in a car with a bunch of people and the air went out, and you're all crabby and you've been on the road for a couple of days and starting to stink and you're delayed because the car broke down and then... you get to The Grand Canyon. And it's amazing. It changes your life. You'll always remember the moment you saw it, and chances are, you'll recall the trip as a lot more fun than the reality. It's the destination that's important and makes everything else worthwhile. But the getting there is a real pain in the you-know-what.
*sigh* So yeah, I'm already starting to get overwhelmed, but I know that all the sacrifice will pay off. I'm keeping my eye on the prize, but there's a lot I need to work out. IF my timeline for this that's in my mind (based on my various research and talking to my dr.), I could be eligible for surgery as soon as December. And if that's the case, everyone I know is gonna just have to DEAL with not getting a present from me this Christmas!! lol!!
In the meantime, I'm just going to have to keep my mind on my money and my money on my mind for a while... and STAY POSITIVE!
I've been trying to implement change in my life. It hasn't been easy. My sub-conscious isn't going down without a fight! It's been really hard to fight the urge for carbs, but I took a huge step today by eliminating most of them from my cabinets.
I did some shopping over the weekend and again, it was really hard to fight the carb monster. Oh, my favorite macaroons are fresh out of the oven? NO! RESIST! Free sample of my favorite pizza? STOP!! GET AWAY FROM ME!! Toaster Strudel on sale!? YOU BASTIDS!
And then it was like a light bulb went off (dimly, still working on it), and I realized that Toaster Strudel is probably a great representation of my overall diet choices. Easy, sweet, reminiscent of fruit (but not actual fruit) and comes with an icing packet so I can feel like I contributed to my meal prep. How terribly sad and ridiculous is it to live like that??
So, instead I've been implementing some changes. I've been trying out protein shakes as meal replacements, and so far it's going great. I've been enjoying Muscle Milk, vanilla creme and chocolate are all I've tried, and playing around with flavors. I have some sugar-free chai mix, some extracts and sugar-free syrups that have made it a little more fun. I've been using the ready-to-drink variety of muscle milk and am nervous about buying the big canister. Does it taste the same? Anyone know about this?
Also, I've discovered Greek yogurt. Never used to be a yogurt fan, but never tried Greek yogurt since it became "the thing". "If I don't like the regular kind, why would I want the Greek kind?" I'd rationalize to myself like an idiot. It's amazing! I really like Fage the best, but have been settling for Oikos because it's been on sale for the last 2 weeks at my local store. Of all I tried, Fage peach is my hands down favorite. So I've been replacing a meal with yogurt. Well, not the WHOLE meal. I used to buy lunch at the cafeteria at my work, which is usually some double portion carb mess covered in gravy, or a super salty soup with pre-made caesar salad on the side and a big sugary lemonade. Now, I bring a yogurt, some cheese slices and have bottled water instead of the lemonade. I'll get a soup or fresh fruit from the caf if I'm hungry, but I'm usually not. All the extra protein is really making a difference in my appetite!
So that brings us to the point in my day once I'm home. I live alone. I have no one to shame me or call me out for making bad choices. That's part of why I'm glad to purge my cabinets. I'll have to use all my willpower not to re-purchase those things, but not having them here is a huge step. When I'm home and ready for dinner, I have a Lean Cuisine. Not the best, but it's portion controlled and easy. Living alone=having all the chores and cooking and cleaning is not how I want to spend my time... half way through cooking the meal, my back will start to ache. Then by the time I'm done and have sat down, ate, food coma sets in, cleaning up is the last thing on my mind. I'm really hoping that losing some weight will give me energy back to DO CHORES. I feel like I'm so gung-ho about changing my diet, that part has been easy, actually, but I have no drive whatsoever to be physically active. I really want that to change. But it's such a short amount of time before my back aches or my feet ache or I'm sweating and feel disgusting...
Can't want for all these changes to add up to a better life.
I just re-read this and realized my goal for physical fitness is to be able to do chores! HAHHAHHAHA - not climb a mountain, run a 5k - but do some chores. I can't tell if that's very sad or very Marge Simpson of me. lol!!
