So, I was sitting at work today and as my shift was winding down, found myself daydreaming about VSG again. I got to thinking (and worrying myself) about post-op living and long term care. Would I require b12 shots for the rest of my life? will I ever be able to eat sugar again? what about reflux? will I have unending reflux that requires lifelong treatment? Am I putting myself at risk for complications that far surpass the initial post-op recovery stage? what am I really thinking about doing to myself?!??!?!?!
As I'm thinking myself into a panic, my phone lights up for a new email and this distracts me from my thoughts. A UPS order that I placed wasn't delivered because UPS requires a signature. I have no idea why, but UPS pretty much refuses to leave packages on a first attempt. They require a signature even if the sender doesn't require a signature. It's so beyond frustrating, every time I deal with UPS, I have to call them and get into a huge argument about this. I hate it!
The package in question? My fat girl pants - for girls too fat to shop in normal stores.
So yeah. That pretty much cinched it for me - I need to get out of these BIG GIRL britches ASAP!! All this stress/phone calls/talking to supervisors/getting SERIOUSLY TICKED OFF is because I need my giant pants. So sad! So what if I need Nexium forever - better than needing MAIL ORDER CLOTHING!!
Anyway, thought this ironic tale might give someone a needed chuckle today.
There is only one word for my mood lately: crankerpants. It's that "I'm super cranky, so if you talk to me, I'm probably gonna be a snarky b***h" type of feeling that I'm not so sure everyone experiences. I've made a bunch of changes to my diet, and been really terrible at sticking to it. Seems I can go pretty good for about 3 days and then BAM I find myself finishing off a bowl of pasta or rolling through McD's for a breakfast sandwich. But overall, I think I'm doing okay. I mean, for those 3 days I stick to it, that's an achievement, right? I'd really like to limit myself from 2 crappy/cheat meals per week down to one. Trying to do baby steps so post-op isn't so drastic.
Been trying to get my follow up with my PCP scheduled F O R E V E R, it feels like. But I need an appointment for a Sat 10/6 and for WHATEVER REASON, they don't have their Saturday schedules posted for October yet. UGHHH. So frustrating. Got a tiny bit crankerpants at the scheduling girl but turned it down a notch before I snapped. I just want to see if my PCP talked to my medical group about getting a referral before the 3 month diet period. I'd love to be referred in October and scheduled for November!! Hope that's not just wishful thinking!
Progress: I joined a gym today. There's a Planet Fitness like 5 minutes from my house and they happen to be running a start-up special right now, so I signed up. I feel so grown up and responsible! I went with my BFF and she's a member already, so she showed me around. Lots of the machines I remembered from being in high school gym class. And I loved how you could watch TV or ipod on the treadmills and bikes and stuff. Walk a mile AND watch Judge Judy? YES PLEASE!
I'm also happy to report that this friend that took me to the gym is also the first person I told I was considering surgery and I thought she judged me for it. She really had a lot on her plate (her mom passed away ) but a few days ago she asked me how my surgery plan was going and we talked about it for a while. She asked a lot of questions and was really supportive. Makes me wonder if she'd consider surgery if she saw me lose a bunch of weight? IDK. I won't bring it up. It's too big of a decision for me to try talking her into it. My mom already said she's contemplated some type of surgery before... I think it would be interesting if all the heavy people in my life started having surgery! haha. all the more reason for me to BE THE FIRST!
I think my mood improved since starting this post. Yay! Have a happy hump day tomorrow, everyone!!
