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Darkkyss' Blog

A blog by Darkkyss

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202lbs and on my way to Kauai

Well I missed my goal by 2lbs but I am not to upset at this moment since I am at the airport heading to sun and warm weather... Well I was 200 one morning but did not count it cause I knew I would go back up because it was because I was semi sick the night before and did not eat and was in the bathroom off and on all night..... POOF then a stall.... I truly believe I will start losing while I am in Kauai because its so much seafood and fresh fruit and I will be eating healthier!! We are doing helicopter ride, boat tour, and I really wanna do the zip line now that I have lost enough to be able to do it....... we will see 10 days of pure joy and relaxing... Thanks everyone that have made positive comments about my blogs and taking the time to read this old lady's rattling ons!!

January 10, 2013

5

210Lb At Doctors 3 Month Follow Up

I went to the doctor yesterday and I weighed 210, 53lbs down!!! so I did not make the 200 the nurse thought I would be by now but she said I am doing better then normal and I have lost what I would have lost with the lapband in 1 year!! I am getting my protein in but I should be eating more fruits and vegs, My labs looked good...... She wants me to start taking 1 extra vitamin D with winter here. Went shopping yesterday, after doctors appointment. In the old days when Ryan was younger it was all about his clothes and things he wanted. It felt weird not shopping for him, I did not buy much for myself due to the fact I am still losing and I don't want want to waste money on clothes that wont fit long. I still have that scared feeling I will not lose anymore from the old diet days! I keep thinking how small do I want to get, I know 175lb goal is still over weight but If I dont have to high of goal I wont be so disappointment if I cant reach it........ Does that make since??? In high school I weighed 135lb that would soooooooooo great to be that size again but honestly do not expect to be that low again! Have a good weekend!

December 1, 2012

4

Sister Stopped By!

My sister stopped by yesterday, and walks in the door and says OMG!! I can tell in your face already..... She makes me go in the bathroom in front of the mirror and we stood there and she told me to lower my face so you can see how many double chins we had. I noticed!!!!!! it was not there compared to the way I used to have BIG double chin. So then She started looking me over and said let me see your stomach so I showed her........ she said YEP I can tell your tummy is not out as far. Well I am down from my highest weight of 263 to 242... 21lbs down!!!!!!!!!! and then we measured my waist down 2 inches!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!! She started saying OMG ( yes one of our favorite words to each other)" now I have to really start working on myself!" She has gained weight over the years but still not as heavy as I got, she is about 180 something. So she is doing the protein drinks for 2 meals and then salads, chicken, shirmp, and different low cal. meals. So because of my surgery my sister might get healthy also. Another side note, my boyfriend has been eating healthier he is down 15lbs by eating healthier which will help me in the long run. Been working at this since May! My mom is coming over today to do our toe nails, I bought some fun colors!! Should be a good day! Friday is my Dr. follow up appointment, I shall see how far my new scales are off from the Dr.'s scales!!! I do not look forward to the drive about 2 hours up, 2 hour appointment, and 2 hours back. So for a long day tomorrow!!

August 23, 2012

3

199 about time!

My trip was awesome I did not worry about what I ate, but did not eat too bad. I think the worst I did was have a Snow cone and i know the syrup is the worst part but dang they were yummy. I cam home and was the same weight as when I left 202/203 depend on the day and time... well FINALLY this week I hit 199. I started worrying that I would not lose anymore weight because of the past failed attempts..

January 30, 2013

3

Finally Losing Again 219 This Am!

I have not posted in a while. I have been pretty depressed with my weight lose. I know part was my fault because I was not exercising, but I have been so tired with no energy! I finally forced myself this week to join the gym. I have my best friend and my sister join with me so if one is unable to go the other will be there sooooooooo that makes me have to go!!! I am only able to do 1.25 miles right now but that is better then nothing and OMG the elliptical is WAY!!!!!!! out of my league right now. I was only able to do 2 minutes on that. I went out and bought 5 new shirts (1x size) WOOHOOO.... because my best friend told me I was starting to look like dumpy because they were getting to big on me LOL...... so I found some good sales! and teased her when I lose some more weight she will have some new shirts! I just hate to buy items when I wont be wearing them very long ( I hope!!!!!) We have planned a trip in January for 10 days to Kauai!!! I am so excited to go to Kauai, but I sit here and worry about clothes and what I will have to order because there will not be any stores that will be carrying shorts and swim suits in Dec. I dont know what size I will be and if I order items off the web will they fit, will I have to return them or what??? I don't like to order off the web much because unless you try them on you dont know how they will look or feel. Crossing fingers my goal is to be under 200 by then! All I have to say, don't give up! All the other post and blogs from people about how much they lose and how fast! I think as long as I am losing even 5lbs a month is better then nothing!

October 21, 2012

2

Dr.'s Appt Today

I had my Dr.'s appt. today, which I was very happy when the Dr. said I was down to 237lbs!!!!!!!!!!! so happy, but really sucked was the drive. 2 hours there, 2 hour appt., 2 hour drive back. I stupidly did not bring enough to eat on, and going that long made me almost sick. Lesson learned!! I get to move up from liquids to pureed foods. pretty excited! So I made a short term goal to be under 200 by my next appt. which is in Nov. I am part worred that is a lot to lose in 3 months!! but I think I can!!! LOL Pretty tired so not much to write today!

August 25, 2012

2

218 / 217.8

So got on the scale and I was 217.8 in the middle of the night but when I woke up and got on the scales and weighed myself like normal in the am. I was 218 so I am not counting the 217.8 even though I want to so bad!!!!!!!!!!! So I have decided to take my multi Vitamin in am and pm to make sure I am doing ok on those. I have a doctor's appt. Nov 30 and I was hoping to have lost more by the time I went!! now I am stressing that I am a slacker!! lol So the gym did not work out as well as I though it would I have not been for almost 2 weeks because BOTH girls had issues and could not make it and i HATE going alone. Been back going 2 days in a row....... Just get back on the horse and push hard!! I did 1.5 miles today and 2 minutes on the Elliptical. I swear I sweat more on that thing then I do on the tread mill!! I had ordered a couple summer dresses for Kauai and bought them smaller then I was guessing on the size I would be. Well I tried them on last night.... 2 I love and will be perfect. 1 was tight and I was OMG its going to be awhile (it ran WAY smaller then what it said) I special ordered a pair of swim shorts I tried those on, I like and will be better 18lbs down O I forgot to bring up I have been wanting my favorite Mexican food, so Marc and I went Sunday and I was so excited. We shared a meal, Marc said it was great as usual but for me after craving it for over 3 months I had 2 bites and I was so bummed it just did not taste the same!!!!!! Which in some way it was a good thing but in another I so was looking forward to enjoying a few bites of yummy food! I wanted to thank everyone who has showed so much positive responses to my rambling! My son will be here Nov 20 so that will be a interesting to see his reaction to my weight loss.

November 7, 2012

2

9/3/2012

Been 2 weeks 5 days since I had surgery. I am down to 230lbs total 33lbs, (12lbs down from day of surgery weight) even though when I left hospital I was up 11lbs, but how do I count re-losing that weight. My mom and I went to the mountains Sat. road was a little bumpy but I did ok. I ended up pretty tired when I got home, and I have taken it easy today. I wished I had a little more energy but I figured it really has not been that long. I think this weekend has been the hardest with the food, I am tired of what I been eating and nothing taste good. But do love sugar free banana flavored Popsicle's, and they only have 2 in a bag of 12..........grrrrrr So my other half wants to go camping one last time next weekend........ I want to go but I am a little worried how I will do with my food. I know home I have food choices I guess I will make sure I have TONS of extra stuff around just to give me choices. I start work back up tomorrow. I have to remind myself to eat. At least it will be a short work week, 3 days and then 4 hours on Friday!! I know this is a short blog this week, but honestly don't have a lot to report. Hope you are enjoying your weekend!

September 3, 2012

2

After Surgery

Surgery was Aug 15th!!! Everyone was so nice, a lot of in and out with people all asking the same questions (safety First!!!) My boyfriend (marc) and my mom were in the pre room with me up till they wheeled me away which was really nice. I do remember going into the operation room and looking around but I was done from there. I woke up in recover for a few, I was in such a fog. They brought me to my room, I am not sure what all happened or how to explain it. But I freaked out pretty bad, I felt I could not breath from the pain in my side. I could see my mom and Marc I started crying It took about 1 hour to calm me down and for the pain to be comfortable. From that point on I was doing good, I ended up getting up before the night was out and walked the halls. Second day I was up was able to shower by that evening. Doin small walks, clear liquids. Friday (third day) I was released and on the road, We ran into construction on the way home. Made for a rough, long ride home about 3 hours(compared to 1 3/4 hours). Was home comfy and enjoying being home and my own bed. Sat. I made sure I did treadmil SEVERAL times stayed on top of my pain meds and such, showered and was up most of the day. Well Sunday woke up to feeling like a Mac truck hit me. I had WAY over did it Sat. I slept and ate on Sunday nothing more. Here it is Monday doing ok, better then Sunday and decided HELLO I just had surgery dont rush yourself. I was up for 2 hours then napped, watched TV, then showered, decided I would go along for the ride( had to mail a package for my son) O BOY does the road feel bumpy, I did not realized I forgot to take my pain meds and did not realize it had been over 6 hours later and not feeling to hot on the drive back home!!!!!!! I have really cut back on them I did not think I need the full dose. I cut it in half and doing every 4/5 hours. They had me doing every 3 hours. Getting out bed has been the hardest. My tummy looks pretty good, They did have to do 6 cuts, They removed my gallbladder at the same time. Taste buds have changed, I have always hated the taste of diet stuff, the after taste is what I could not stand. My mom made me sugar free jello, pudding, and bought sugar free popcicles. I like the taste of these BUT seems so sweet!!! I was reading and realized I could finally have Tomato soup SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!! and OMG did it taste so good. So I have not had problems feeling full, but did HATE when Marc cooked breakfast and I could smell the bacon cooking..... Has it never smelled so good. I think that is a big thing to get over the next 2 weeks is having the texture of chewing on food!!! I will make it!! I have made an appointment to have my hair done before I return to work, having it colored and cut. At work I don't do much with myself (hair in bun, no makeup, and stay in my office most of the day doing my work) So I will have a new look to go back to work with, with the new ME. I have not told others, except my best friend who works there. Most people know we have been "dieting and walking" daily and that I was going out on medical leave for gallbladder surgery. I had lost 15lbs before my last day. who knows how much more before I return in 2 weeks. I wonder if they will notice. On my surgery date I was 242lbs home from hospital I was up to 254lbs!!!!!!! I weighed myself today 246!!!!!!!!!! So a lot of rambling but I really want to remember the journey and so I wanted to get a lot in over the last few days! If you have any question please feel free and send me a message!!!!

August 21, 2012

1

My Dad Stopped By!

I was not planning on doing another blog so soon but my dad stopped by, he seen me right before surgery but he was leaving town! ( I did the don't change your plans I will be fine speech) He stated "wow, I can tell sis" I know that I was down almost 20 lbs before the surgery, but seems these last 10lbs were the ones that you could start to notice more in my face and stomach! Can we say roller coaster day!!!!!!! Today is the first day I felt like I had energy and the day I decide to cry at ever drop??? Go figure LOL My grandma "second mom, best friend" past away in December and I wished she was here to watch this transformation she would be so happy, She never said one unkind word my whole life about my weight, but I know she worried, she herself was over weight and struggled up and down for years. You just wanna kick yourself for not doing earlier. My son I miss so much, I keep telling myself at least he is not in Afgan anymore, which makes me so happy but he is stationed in Germany so far away. Sounds like he might be home in Nov. he is supppose to be stationed in the states by then. What will he say, his momma under 200lbs lol, he has not seen that in years. He sends message almost daily which does help! I get these kind of messages from my wonderful boy "awesome job momma" "way to go" "you can do it" and the usual miss you and love you ...... Got this text yesterday... what you at now ma? I told him I was 233 and I kept waiting for a reply and nothing... I was kind of bummed all the sudden my phone rang and it was HIM!!!! He was happy he decided to call me! really made my day yesterday. 30lbs really?????????? OMG did the lil happy dance, swear my Sissie( my lil d-o-g, that in itself is another story LOL) gave me a you are crazy look. Later in the day she layed in my lap FIRST TIME EVER!!!!!! So a lil about Sissie, she is called a Munchkin she is about 6lbs cutest lil thing you ever seen, was a Christmas present because I was not dealing well with my son being gone. I would cry at least weekly. My other half (Marc) bought her for me. I was able to visit with her for 3 weeks before she was able to come home to us. I even slept with a blanket for a few days then took it over to her so she would sleep with my smell and get used to it(ok I know I am weird but anyone out there with a "child" pet knows what I am saying) She came home on Dec 21st. She was so tiny, her colors have changed completely I will attatch a couple different pictures of her for your viewing. Well lets just saying I would have never said in my life time my Sissie would be a child, I used to tease my mom all the time when she had her dog 13 years and would spoil it so bad! Marc and I joke all the time that Sissie is not a real d-o-g! WOW can you say rambling, My family teases me all the time because we were in the car on a road trip and I was rambling on and all the sudden I said "bird" and pointed....... and then just continued my converstation like it was no big deal. Well now its a standard joke when I start rambling and change the subject with out notice, they will go Bird!!!! Have a great Tuesday, I see light at the end of this big long tunnel!! Here is a few pictures 1st is Sissie Jan 2, she shy 2 days of being 2 months old, the second is my son Ryan, third what Sissie looks like now, cutest lil girl ever!

August 27, 2012

1

Sunday Been A Good Weekend!

I was worried about the weekend being bored and eating, I think I did pretty good. Even went out with family for dinner and had salad and baby shrimp. I went with my mom and walked about 1 hour nothing fast just walking around shopping you don't even realize you have walked 1 hour. I started a list of items I will need after I come home from Surgery to have it all in the home for me. I also found a robe to take with me to the hospital, as most know its hard to find one that would fit.... I found this fish at Costco called Hake, I BBQ!'d it for lunch with a little lemon, butter, salt and pepper. 150 cal. per 5 oz serving and LOVE it.. I think I lost 2 more lbs but my scales are not working correct, so it is a guessing game. I went to my mom's and that is the scale that said I had lost 2lbs. compared to Friday's weight. I been looking for a new scale and I will probably go pick up tomorrow so I can start tracking my weight the correct way. I even told my mom really my surgery is 9 days and 13 1/2 hours LOL, My surgery is first thing on the 15th so why count it LOL. Hope everyone's had a great weekend!

August 5, 2012

1

216!

I forgot to weigh my self yesterday AM, so I weighed myself last night I was 218 at night,(usually I am that in am and then by night I am up anywhere from 1-3lbs) and i just knew I would be at least 217 this am and was totally shocked that I was 216!... I dont know if I posted in the last one but I measure my waist and I am 3 inches smaller for a total of 7 inches!!! I decided I needed a night away so my mom, sister and I are going to go stay the night at the casino/hotel Saturday, which is in town but its just the point of "getting away" kind of excited! I have decide that I will take 300.00 with me and play the dollar machines! Heck I must feel rich and skinny!~ I think its been 6 months or longer since I have been out there. We usually take 30 bucks or so out and blow that!

November 14, 2012

1

From The Beginning

I have wanted the lap band for several years now but was unable to afford the cost. I was watching TV and seen a commercial stating go to this web site and on the web site it would give you the codes to ask your insurance about. I did not even realize my insurance would cover it, I called my insurance and they were so helpful and let me know what I needed. I went to a Rockwood Clinic seminar in April, which I found 2 hours out of town (nothing local due to a small town). Then I went home and thought about it and asked my family for their input. I then called my primary Dr and made an appointment and asked for a referral to Rockwood Clinic. I then called and made an appointment for May 21st and called my insurance back and asked more questions about co-pay and was the hospital “in network”. I went to my Dr.’s appointment in May and spoke with the Dr about different surgeries after hearing more from him, I decided to change the surgery I wanted I decided on the Sleeve. I made another call to my insurance and the Sleeve was also covered!!! I made sure I called my insurance regularly and I was seeing to see if they needed any info. I completed all test that were required. My surgery is scheduled August 15th. I had small hurdles; I did have to keep on top of insurance making sure things were completed correctly. I had to call Dr’s office several times to see what they were doing to make sure the ball was not dropped. These were the test that needed completed before they would even schedule my Surgery. Medical Psychological Eva. Was completed June 1st it took the person 1 week to submit the test results to the Dr. I did have to pay this upfront cost of $270.00. But I was able to submit to insurance and have myself reimbursed but stating it was required to have for surgery since surgery is covered so are the test by my insurance company. I had to submit 2 times because of incorrect codes. Code I used was; V72.83 (Other specified pre-operative examination - pre-operative exam unspecified). EKG Completed 6/5/2012 Gallbladder Ultrasound Completed 6/6/2012 Chest X-Ray Completed 6/6/2012 Lab blood work Completed 6/6/2012 I completed all tests that were required. I start my liquid diet Aug 1st My pre Op appointment is Aug 3rd My surgery is scheduled August 15th. I feel very lucky that the time frame is under 90 days from first appointment till the time of my surgery. Like I said I stayed in close contact with a person at Rockwood clinic and my insurance company making sure everything was turned in correctly.

August 1, 2012

0

Sunday!

Well I feel like it has taken 2 days to get over going to the Dr. Friday. I have truly learned my lesson on making sure I eat enough during the day! I went shopping at walmart today, dang that store is BIG! LOL....... I am trying different protein drinks, everything taste TERRIBLE... I know its just me right now. I spent 14.00 to try this "new" stuff stated taste like watermelon, excited right! I love watermelon flavor..... thinking woohoo 42 grams of protein I can sip on this all day.. OMG is all I can say, 1 sip and I about threw up. So darn sweet ewww, sigh... Trying different pureed foods, boy does it change the taste of the food! I did find clam chowder was ok LOTS of the liquid and little bit of the potato's and clams. cream of wheat is something I can eat but takes me 2 meals per packet. I did buy 1 jar of baby food we will see if I get the nerve to try "herbal chicken and paste stage 3" lol I just want to add, my other half has been so great! I honestly don't think I could have done this without him. I have had some rough days and he has been so awesome on helping out in every way. 234.4lbs

August 27, 2012

0

Pre Op Appointment Today

I had my pre op appointment today. I had started my liquid diet two days ago and let her know that I was having issues drinking 5 or 6 shakes a day I am only getting 2 down but I am getting my 64 oz of water down plus extra. She let me know it was ok to have chicken, fish, and such just really watch Carbs. I did order chicken broth that is from unjury that has protein that should help but until it arrives I needed to do something I was only taking in about 400 cal. a day. On a good note I had lost weight I have been watching what I eat for about 3 weeks and gave up pepsi since May. I am down to 252lbs. I was pretty happy. I love that the clinic gave me a binder with TONS of info about pre surgery & post surgery. I am having my gallbladder removed at the same time so I will be staying 3 days for sure if not longer.... crossing fingers I am about to leave after 3 days. I know I ramble so I hope this all make sense. Been up since 3 am, that seems to be a big factor lately not being able to sleep. I have all kinds of feelings on the future and surgery. Not really nervous just so many thoughts running through my head. Nurse felt I would not have to much excessive skin after losing weight if I continue the work outs I have been doing.

August 4, 2012

0

205 I have 3 weeks till I leave

So I am 205 and counting......... ok so really I am 207 this am but really I was 205 this week LOL........ I started my monthly and was so darn mad when I got on the scales this am!!!!! I know its just cause of my monthly pain in my butt time...... I keep telling myself its OK, you have 3 weeks till Kauai. Been going swimming except for last week such a crazy week with Christmas coming and all. I think my biggest issue is from swimming I am Soooooooooooo tired I am going to bed like at 7ish or so........... today I laid down at 6pm and woke up at 10pm Just GREAT!!! I hope everyone enjoys there holidays, Remember if you fall off just get back up and say I can start a new day tomorrow!! Enjoy and don't stress if you eat something that you normal wouldn't as my NUT says everyone is entitled to a little goodie time!

December 21, 2012

0

2 Days 19 Hours Till Surgery

I asked my other half to take pictures of me today so I have some full front, side and back pictures. Part of me feels time is not going fast enough and another side of me is its flying by. Today my nerves are getting the best of me... almost like anxiety!! Seems like the protein drinks are not enough today!!! Picking up a tread mill today so I will have it in the house and be able to walk on it when ever I want since I will be home almost 3 weeks before I head back to work. My son called yesterday which made my day. He is worried not being in the states and being here for me. I reassured him I will be fine. I put off my surgery date till Aug. because I wanted as much time as I could with him while he was home. I did not want to be laid up and unable to do things with him. He had just got home from Afgan. and then he would be off to Germany. So I told him to call Marc about 11am our time on Wednesday and I should be out and everything so Marc could tell him everything was ok.

August 12, 2012

0

213 For A Total Of 50Lbs Lost So Far

If you read my other blogs you will know I went to the casino last weekend........ Lost my butt... LOL....... would have been ok if I would not have woke up at 430am and wanting to gamble cause I won 160.00 off the $ machine and blew that the following morning.... My son flew in Tuesday night.... I was almost nervous to see him..... was afraid he couldn't tell I have lost weight.... I know silly of me.. but I think we all still see the chubby person.. He was like WOW mom you are looking good........ keep it up!! Made my night....... Spent most of Wednesday with family, Thursday he went to visit his dad and friends........ then left today!! such a quick visit, been down since he left but at least he is not leaving the states.... He did tell me he might have to go back to Afgan... gosh I got mad!!! I was like I THOUGHT they said they were pulling everyone out....... He said no the President signed a 10 year deal to keep troops over there.......almost ruined my day yesterday!! Thanksgiving was not to hard for me since I am so picky anyways...... I did enjoy a pumpkin bar my dad made, but did not eat the frosting! So we did the early shopping today my son was able to pick up a few presents for his girlfriend, and for my 50lb mark we bought a new tv for the bedroom!! So we all know I want to be 200lbs by Jan. gosh, I hope I make it..... I have 46 days to lose 13lbs....PLEASE NO STALLS!!! My next goal is to be 175/180lb by April going to plan a trip to the Oregon Coast for reward!! The down side to all this is my hair is falling out bad, I have to clean my brush daily. pretty nervous about that......hoping it slows down soon... Anyone else notice there memory is not the greatest??? I can't believe I have to ask someone to refresh my memory on work I been doing for 2 years!! I have never had to take notes because I would remember after the first time being shown something and now I have printed cheat sheets to help me get into my programs!!! The biggest advice I could give is make sure you go to the dentist ever 3 months, because I did not tell my dentist about my surgery but she kept going on and on how she could tell something was different with my teeth. She told me to get toothpaste that is SLS Free, Amazon has it. I was thinking my teeth would be great, you know with giving up pop and candy....thank goodness No cavities! I said something to the NUT. she said yes some people end up with teeth issues because of the surgery and not getting enough Nutritiousness (cant spell right now) Well I hope you all have a good weekend!

November 24, 2012

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