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A Post-Op MS'er/Nurse/EMT/Wife/Daughter/Student's Journey

Entries in this blog

 

Another Day Down, Another Day I'm Glad I Chose The Sleeve

Over the past few months I've had no regrets at all about this surgery. I've spoken to a couple people who have had the gastric bypass in the past few months. I'm always shocked at how many people have complications from that procedure. I also chose a program that was an hour and a half away instead of the one only 45 minutes away because the informational session at Dartmouth was WAYYY too lenient. They made the surgery sound so hunky dory and all they wanted to talk about was the money part and positive parts. My program I chose, basically from the start made the entire process sound like hell. I am so glad I chose my program, it was more work, but I have more support, less complications, and an overall better outcome I think.   I met someone tonight who had gastric bypass and she is 10 mos postop, has lost almost 200 lbs in that time, but she cannot eat solid foods still and has to eat baby food to this day. She said she has constant diarrhea and vomiting. She regrets every day ever having the surgery. It took me 14 months from the informational meeting to the day of my surgery (mostly because my insurance required a 15% weight loss) but it would of been at least a 6 month wait anyways because that's what the program required. It required all people to quit smoking at least 6 months prior to surgery, which I think is an excellent requirement, I quit 3 years ago. So many people rather take the easy and fast program, because let's face it after (for most people) a lifetime of being overweight who wants to wait that much longer. But I am sooo glad I took the time in this decision. I am so glad I didn't go to the Dartmouth program and I'm so glad I chose the sleeve.   There's this woman who had the bypass surgery the same time I had my surgery and we always have our followup postop appt's on the same day. Every time I see her, she has a new complaint and complication. Then again I think she made a lot of her own problems, because on our 4 week post op she was telling me she was having a hard time eating and could only take in those peel cheese sticks for food, which was a big no no.. Then at our 6 week postop meeting, she came out of the dieticians office and the dietician was telling her to stop eating pasta. I still to this day will not eat pasta, no nutritional value. This woman always tells me she can't hold anything down and is in severe pain all the time etc. SO yea I always count my lucky stars that I made the right decisions and chose the program that I did and the procedure that I chose.
Nurseypoo

Nurseypoo

0
 

Greek Yogurt And Sugar Free Pudding Snack

So I eat a LOT of Greek yogurt, but there's only a handful of flavors that I like and you gotta admit, eating the same 3 flavors day after day for breakfast and sometimes lunch gets a bit redundant. I have heard that mixing a 5.3oz package of Greek Yogurt with 1/4 package of sugar free jello pudding makes a yummy snack, especially if you are having a sweet tooth craving. I think I'll try this, but from what I've read it turns the Greek yogurt into a mousse almost, light and fluffy in texture, but not as bitter, so for everyone who doesn't like Greek Yogurt because of the bitter aftertaste, this may be for you! I also read that some people freeze the mixture to make a type of healthier high protein ice cream. I just found a recipe for mixing blended banana into a cup of greek yogurt, add a bit of lemon juice, and a bit of honey and freeze to make pops. Has anyone tried any of this?? Or have any suggestions for healthy high protein snacks??   For lunch today I took a slice of turkey breast, a slice of provolone cheese, and a pickle and made rolls with them because I can't handle bread on my sandwiches it fills me up too quickly. I think tomorrow I'll try a piece of avocado with the turkey and cheese. Night all!
Nurseypoo

Nurseypoo

4
 

It's only been 10 months postop? 185lbs lost and counting

So I haven't been on here for awhile, life has gotten very very busy!! I see that I have lost almost 60 lbs since my last entry. I am oh so close to my goal. My problem these last few weeks has been the dreaded plateau. But I exercise daily, and I try to eat right. I think my biggest struggles are getting enough food in to meet an adequate calorie count (I know they say calorie counts don't matter but even when I tell them that my daily calorie intake is only 600-1000 calories even they are concerned). I'm just not hungry. And add in exercising 500 calories a day, then you can see that I'm basically stopping my own metabolism with the calories in/out. So I know why I'm not losing any more weight now just to fix it. Greek yogurt still is my go to. The protein intake struggle is still there. I'm lucky to get 60g a day, nevermind the 80-100 I should...   But some positive things..   Last Friday I participated in, for the first time in my life, a cardio kickboxing class. I don't know why it was called a kickboxing class, there was def no kicking involved. The biggest thing for me was that I was able to keep up with the other girls, most of which were athletes!! For once I was considered an equal instead of the "fat girl in gym class" that my brain was used to. Downside?? I kinda overdid it with my MS and haven't been able to walk too well over the weekend. But I did it!! Now just to wonder about going back   Even better news, December 7, my husband got a kidney transplant. Something that we were told never to expect because of how highly sensitized he was from his first transplant. We never expected that phone call and even more miraculous was the fact that the woman who passed was the equivialent of his twin, there was no better match. We pray for her and her family every day for this gift of life she gave him. I have my husband back!   The weight loss has greatly improved my MS symptoms, I can exercise without going into a relapse (ahem as long as I don't go crazyy), I use the elliptical every day for 40 min then tone and do strengthening to try and tighten up some of this skin. I am determined not to have skin removal surgery.   What else....   I will upload a new updated pic later on. What a difference when I look at my pictures on facebook!! But I definitely need to pay attention more to my eating..   Till later all!! Take care!
Nurseypoo

Nurseypoo

6
 

Not A Nobody No More! :)

So I've had a new realization and "benefit" from this surgery that I never anticipated. I should first explain that I've always been pretty much of a nobody to people, throughout high school, college, work, public, etc (except for friends and family of course). What I mean by that is that people would pay no mind to me anywhere I went, that or I was made fun of for my obesity. I haven't really had a lot of time by myself in public until recently. Because the weight loss seems to be doing wonders for the management of my Multiple Sclerosis, I decided to go back to work again. So I'm doing flu vaccine clinics at the Walmarts in the area and my first day was yesterday. Basically I sit at my table and people watch and smile until someone comes up asking for a shot. In the past this would of terrified me, being in public where so many people would have the opportunity to stare and poke fun, etc. But my new found self esteem squashed out all those thoughts.   So here I was, about to get set up, meeting with the store manager and pharmacist when I hear, "Hey how are you!" I ignored it, not thinking it was to me, but my eyes wandered to the source of the voice, and a vaguely familiar guy is standing there with some packages (Fedex uniform). I looked behind me thinking he was saying hi to someone else. And he said "Hey how are you" again and followed "Do you remember me." I frantically searched my mind for a name to match his face and said "Mmmike?" lol idiot sounding me. And it was, this kid that I went to high school with and although my high school class was only 14 people, he was definitely one of the kids I never spoke to and always assumed made fun of me (he was known for his meanness). So I said hi and we had a short convo and he left. And I thought it was SO weird. I've run into other people from my high school class throughout the past few years and they've always politely ignored me and pretending they didn't know who I was. Which was fine for both of us. So this little conversation which was a genuinely nice conversation surprised the hell out of me.   As the day went on, I started noticing how many people were nice to me. People my own age, who never used to pay me any attention were stopping to say hi or were friendly to me. I had all ages of people stopping and having conversations, something that never used to happen. It's sad really, that humanity is like this. I never realized that there would of been a difference to how people interacted with eachother all based on looks or weight. Since my surgery, I have now lost close to 150lbs, still am overweight, but not like I used to be, have thrown out the glasses and gotten contacts, and due to my new size I can wear more fashionable clothing. It's awful that this would make a difference to people.   But I can't say that I'm not pleased. After spending most of my life as the fat girl, I am going to soak up some of this attention. I am happily married and would never want anything to change that, but my "Inner Goddess" was smiling and jumping up and down everytime a cute guy would slow down while passing my table to say hi, how's it going. (Had to reference 50 Shades ) My husband enjoys my new self confidence and the fact that I don't mind going into public anymore. But this definitely was yet another change that I was not anticipating and one that I'll gladly take!   Anyone else notice these changes in themselves??   I have always worked in a nursing home or a rehab in my short career as a nurse and you know how the elderly can be so blatant and forward?? Well, I used to get comments from my patients ALL the time about my weight, so come January when this job is done with for the year and I look for a new job, I wonder how my patients will speak to me then and what changes will be made there?   tata for now!
Nurseypoo

Nurseypoo

2
 

Conflicting Futures....

So fellow sleevers and to-be sleevers. Since I started the weight loss surgery journey back in Jan of 2011, I had so many people asking me about dieting and exercise along the way and I would try to supply them with some kind of information to help. I'd like to think I had some influence on at least one or two people, my aunt has lost something like 70 lbs by following the diet that I was given pre-op to lose the required amount of weight for surgery. My parents seek advice, as well as a few friends also. For some reason I had thought that people wouldn't ask any of this of me. I think I still feel like "everyone" feels I took the easy way out, which whatever they think is fine with me. If someone thinks I took the easy way out then they don't know me enough to be a true friend or family member to understand what I have gone through not only this past year, but my entire life for me to make such a huge decision. But anyways, I'm always smiling underneath when someone asks me for advice because I love to share my ideas, recipes, and tricks for diet and exercise. I've been talking to my husband, about possibly trying to link my nursing license with some kind of nutrition certificate or degree. I've looked briefly online with no luck yet, but I would love to help people looking to lose weight get through it, with or without surgery. I think that by simply being there one on one with a person and talking to them every day or so or going through their pantry or whatever they need to be motivated would be my dream job. I know for one, I hated going to my dieticians appointments because here are these skinny minnies who probably have never had a weight problem thier whole like trying to tell me how to eat and lose weight. If I could help someone by sharing my own experiences and such and my own tricks... oh man.. I think I found my calling.. LOL.   Another part of it is that I LOVE to cook. Part of me wishes I had chosen a career in culinary because I absolutely love to cook new things and try new things. Since my surgery I've been very very careful though. I've almost been afraid to cook. But I'm starting to change my view on recipes and trying new but healthier recipes that are higher in protein and veggies and less in fat and calories. My parents have suggested that I start some kind of service to help people lose weight by offering "fast food" or home delivered healthy based meals. So for the working person who wants to lose weight and goes to buy all the healthy stuff and loads the fridge with veggies and such, but most of the time throws them out rotten because at the end of the day take out is so much better, they could instead call and order a healthy but fulfilling meal. I've been contemplating a lot and I think I may be on to something here, but I just need to pull it together I think...
Nurseypoo

Nurseypoo

3
 

Everyday Milestones... 136 Lbs Down Total--- 80 More To Go!

Today we had satellite internet installed after not having anything but dialup since we moved in here a year ago. But it was time to either reup the lease or move, and the only downside to this house is the lack of internet access so we decided to stay and lock ourselves in a ridiculous 24 month contract with a satellite internet company. So now I have unlimited (kinda) access to this blog instead of going to my parents or trying to type on my Droid!   It's been so hot lately up here in NH! Or maybe it's not the heat that's so bad, but definitely the humidity! So I haven't been exercising as much as I should, trying to find that happy medium of keeping fit but keeping my MS happy too. I can't even explain my happiness and the change in myself since this surgery. I can now go to any store and shop any clothes, my energy is UNBELIEVABLE! What I can do now compared to a year ago, without having to stop because of my symptoms of my MS acting up is simply amazing.   Actually here's a somewhat funny story that proves my improvement. Back in Jan of last year I started going to the gym with my mother, this was when I started the WLS journey too. We didn't know a lot of the equipment and there was always a lot of people at this gym and they were VERY fit and we both felt uncomfortable trying new equipment in front of these people, especially with the poor layout of the gym. But one day we were the only ones there so I got cocky and decided I was going to go try that weird gliding thing (elliptical), well the setting was set WAYYY to easy and I was pretty much at a dead run and unable to stop. I only did this for about 1 min or 2, trying to figure out how to control my legs on it. Well, the next day I ended up not being able to walk when I woke up because of how it had affected my MS pushing my body that much. So I went through the usual IV Steroids and such to slow it all down and eventually we got back to the gym (a different one this time that was SO much better). I continued to use the elliptical, but a little at a time. And I wore my ice vest and a gel neck tie to keep my body temperature down. I would get so proud that I could go a whole minute on the elliptical, then worked my way up a minute or two extra a day at a time. Now we are able to go a full 30-50 minutes depending on the temperature of the gym and how I'm feeling that day. But it's a perfect example to people who are afraid to get to the gym or to exercise that it's not about going gung ho when you get to the gym. Take it slow and start small and add a little bit at a time. I continue to push myself every day. If I'm on the elliptical or my bike at home and I hit my 30 minute mark, if I don't have a nice even whole number on my calorie count or even my mileage mark I'll say to myself, go a bit further to make this number this (like if I'm at 235 calories burned I'll push myself to a full 300 calories burned). When I take my dog Tank for a walk up the hill I walk to a new further mailbox every time. Our walks are now a little over a mile away now, totaling a full 2 mile walk, and we live on a HUGE hill!   I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, because the better I feel, the more I want to do. I love being able to shop anywhere for clothes. I've started to think about doing things that I couldn't do before because of my weight. I actually have gotten a job that starts next week as a nurse again after not being able to work for 2 years. It's just a temp job through the flu season, but I've scheduled myself 32 hours a week and it's a good test to see how I handle work, doing dialysis on my hubby at nights, going to school for 2 classes this fall to finish my RN, and working part time on the ambulance. The more I lose, the more I can handle I think. I've started thinking I want to do something that I couldn't of done at 391 lbs, and I think I may try ziplining...   A HUGE milestone for me today was buying scrubs for my new job. I was able to walk through the scrub store and was able to buy ANY scrub there. I was a LNA out of high school and became a LPN in 2009. So I've been wearing scrubs for a long time, and never did I have much of a choice. A 3X was too tight on me. I had started buying 4x and 5x from online stores. I had to try on tops to see what my new size was and depending on the brand, some Larges fit me, and most XL's fit well. Some of the fancier scrub tops with a sash under the bust were a bit tight and some of those I think I may of chosen a 2X if I had wanted them. But I chose one top and one bottom (a XL TOO!).   Talking to my aunt last night, I realized I am 80lbs give or take away from my goal weight. My docs have said that an ideal weight is 155, but with all this extra skin when I get to 170ish it may be my ideal weight until the skin tones up. I still see myself as a very heavy person, when I see myself in a bathing suit or in the mirror, even though I know I'm wearing smaller clothes, I honestly can't see a difference from when I was 391 lbs. When I wear clothes that fit well I can, but in a bathing suit or underwear I can't see it at all. When I shop, I will hold up a shirt that will fit if I try it on, but in my mind it's telling me that it won't fit. Isn't it funny how we have to retrain our mind in all these little ways!   So I wanted to share a recipe I found and tried on Spark people. It is packed full of protein and was delicious. I'll just post the link here, and I want to go post it on the recipe forum on this website for others to check out. http://recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=936067   Okay I typed myself out tonight. Take care all!
Nurseypoo

Nurseypoo

2
 

It's My Life!

I was driving home from the store today and Bon Jovi's "It's My Life" came on the radio. I cranked the volume and started belting along with the lyrics when I stopped and actually heard the lyrics. What a great song for us sleevers! I think that the next time someone asks me why I didn't just do it myself instead of having surgery I may just break out in song!!   Here's a piece of lyrics for people who have forgotten or (gasp!) are not familiar with the song. Have a good night everyone!   My heart is like an open highway Like Frankie said, "I did it my way" I just wanna live while I'm alive 'Cause it's my life   This is for the ones who stood their ground For Tommy and Gina who never backed down Tomorrow's getting harder, make no mistake Luck ain't even lucky, gotta make your own breaks   It's my life And it's now or never I ain't gonna live forever I just wanna live while I'm alive
Nurseypoo

Nurseypoo

0
 

4 Month Postop Anniversary And What This Surgery Has Taught Me + Recipes

So I am exactly 4 months out, I have lost 68 lbs since surgery, totaling a 133 lb loss since Jan 2011. I was 326 on 3/26/12 and I am now at 258lbs and loving it so far. Something that's been bugging me at the back of my mind though, is that SO many people ask me if I could of just done this myself. And I always say no I couldn't of. But as I really think about it, if there was a way to teach me the lifestyle and mindset changes that have occurred because of this surgery, then yes I could of done it without this surgery. Think about it fellow sleevers! Almost all of you know that this surgery is NOT a fix, it is a tool. It teaches us how to listen to our body for when we're truly hungry vs. thirsty or truly hungry vs. behavioral eating. But what if there was a way to take that piece and teach it to people so that they wouldn't need the surgery! I know that there are thousands of books and materials out there of people trying to do just that. But 9/10 the books are written by thin people but no big person wants to hear how hard being overweight is and how to lose weight from a thin person. And the Pre-op me had "listened" to the dronings of "know when you're full, know when you're hungry, know when you're thirsty". But what if there was a way or a program to actually teach people these things? I think it could "cure" obesity. But I've racked my brain over and over and even have tried to teach these things to my husband and mother but it doesn't click. Just like it didn't click with the Pre-op me. So I wonder and keep wondering these things and how I could make a difference in other people's lives. Anybody ever think about these same things??   On another note, previously I had entered a blog post on SF jello pudding mix and greek yogurt and I finally tried it! And it's good, it makes a consistency of like a cheesecake. I thought I'd make some for breakfast and boy was that a mistake. It was just too sweet for me in the morning. But I guess if you want a high protein snack in between meals and you want to cure a sweet tooth that is definitely the trick. I used a SF Vanilla pudding and my vanilla greek yogurt. It tasted so close to cheesecake that I bet if you bought the SF cheesecake pudding and mixed it with the GY, that you would get an actual cheesecake!   There was a ricotta cheese recipe that I tried as well that I found on this website. It was good, but I made some changes to it to incorporate some vegetables. The recipe originally calls for a cup of ricotta mixed with egg and italian herbs. I did this, spread it on the dish. But instead of topping it with marinara and cheese, I made a Green Giant creamed spinach in the microwave, and poured it over the top of the ricotta and then topped with some cheese.. It tasted something like a vegetable white sauce lasagna. Just a little of this went a long way, I think there are still leftovers in my fridge!   Well off for now! Talk soon!
Nurseypoo

Nurseypoo

4
 

Days Where Nothing Just Goes Down Nicely

I'm curious if anyone has the same issue as I have. There are some days that I just can't seem to eat anything that settles. Doesn't matter what it is. Could be a piece of chicken that is prepared the same way and it goes down fine, but if I were to make the same thing a couple days later, I can only take a few bites and it just feels like I ate a rock! And on those days it just seems like anything I eat doesn't settle right, no matter what. I usually have absolutely no appetite on these days but know I have to eat something to get my protein in. Should I have a protein shake on those days? I usually stick to a Greek Yogurt for breakfast and lunch those days. Anyone have any other tips or things that they do??
Nurseypoo

Nurseypoo

2
 

Protein, Protein, Protein. A Day of Meals for Post Op Sleevers 10mos Out

I was asked in my last post what I eat daily. Mind you, I know I am way below calorie count and protein intake than what I should be. I'm working on it, but any suggestions or recommendations are welcome!!   So far today:   ==6oz of Banana Strawberry Greek Yogurt for breakfast 14oz protein 160 calories ==in between meals I was naughty and got a Dunkaccino at Dunkin Donuts. I typically stick with a strict no calories by liquid rule but sometimes a girl needs her chocolate coffee goodness. I had a small which is 230 calories and 2g of protein. ==Lunch a half of a roast beef sandwich on homemade artisan bread with balsamic onion, lettuce, and an aeoli sauce. I peeled off one of the pieces of bread. (No I didn't make this, we were out and stopped at a cafe rather than a fast food restaurant.) A rough estimate is that this was 212 calories and 17g protein.   That's it so far today. Yesterday's meal was a little higher than normal because I typically dont have protein shakes in the morning and being in class all weekend, they provided lunch.   Breakfast= Bolthouse Coffee Protein Shake (if you havent tried these, they are SOOO good!!! They are located with the organic fruit juices in the produce section) 420 calories (2 servings in a bottle and I was in class all day so I did drink the whole thing eventually). and 32 G Protein Lunch- Subway Turkey and ham 6" sandwich which shows at 280 calories and 18G protein, but I did remove half of the bread like I normally do but I don't change calorie count for that. and a half a mini box of Raisins 70 calories Snack: chobani greek yogurt 14oz protein, 160 calories Dinner: 1/2 cup of pasta with ground beef, sharp cheddar, and mixed veggies all mixed in. This is a homemade recipe that was a total of 281cal 17g protein.   TOTAL 1201 calories and 70g protein. I actually did well yesterday!   Saturday: Breakfast: Greek yogurt 14oz protein 160 cal Snack: 4 apple slices and pretzels (1oz) 120 cal and 3 grams protein Lunch: Leftover chicken breast 3oz 93 cal and 17g protein Snack: Dinner: chicken breast pieces 95 calories 5g protein, and half a slice of pizza toppings, no bread. (Yes I pick my pizza apart, bread just is uncomfortable to eat) I have no idea calorie count for pizza toppings... According to my app that tracks my food I was at 515calories for the day and 39g protein. But figure in sayyy another 100 calories for the pizza stuff and I'm still way below my requirements.   I know what I should have, snacks of cottage cheese, cheeses, protein shakes, protein bars, boiled eggs, all protein for meals, etc.. It''s hard!!! And I get tired of the same old same old. Recently I did try edamame beans and I am in love!!So you can see my intake requirements are all over the place!! I just can't seem to get over this plateau either but I know what is necessary to get my weight loss moving again.. Just gotta correct my eating a bit...
Nurseypoo

Nurseypoo

0
 

4 Months Post Op...let's Start A Blog! 129Lbs Down,

I am 4 months post op with the Gastric sleeve. *I'll spare the book of my "story" for this blog, but overall my surgery and experience was very satisfactory. My full story is posted on my page if anyone is interested. Since surgery I have lost 64 lbs. Since I started the journey in January of 2011 I have lost a total of 129 lbs. I feel amazing, but everyday is a new battle it seems. My battles lately seem to be centered around trying to eat the right amount of protein, trying to drink the right amount of water, and to try and not have a mental breakdown everytime I brush my hair in the morning and find a small animal of hair on the brush. I find frustration in the lack of information and tips and tricks for eating. It seems all I eat are Greek Yogurt, Greek Yogurt, and a piece of grilled chicken or steak. I feel devastated that I can't get more veggies and fruits in, which many of you must know after years of diets, that there's a little stamp in my brain insisting to eat more veggies and fruits.     I haven't been able to find anybody with a story similar to mine, so I thought, why not start a blog and maybe somebody out there is looking for me too, to compare thoughts and ideas or to just compare their experiences to. I am 25, I am happily married but have no kids because I was too overweight for my body to work correctly. I plan on kids in the future, but my husband is in end stage renal failure and on dialysis. I am his own personal nurse, I give him dialysis at home everyday with a newer dialysis machine and procedure than they usually use. I am also a LPN in real life. I have Multiple Sclerosis but thankfully no permanent issues have resulted from it. The weight loss is helping the amount of relapses immensely. I just have to avoid stress... Ha! I just started going back to school again to finish up my degree as a RN. I am also an EMT on the local lifesquad as a volunteer and I work as their insurance biller a few times a week. So my life is absolutely crazy, and on the top of it all I am learning a new lifestyle of food! Now I realize that there isn't going to be a lot of people out there exactly in my situation but I'm always curious to see how other people out there who have struggles have overcome or are trying to overcome them.   Like exercise! I love going to the gym, I usually go for 30-40 minutes on the elliptical on a cardio setting. Then I go and do toning with the weights. But being a MS'er, I can't do any of this when it's hot or humid out. And being summer guess what the weather is?? I try to compensate by going to the pool and swimming laps, using my exercise bike at home, even playing my Wii Fit. But lately it's been so humid that I completely can't do a single thing in this humidity, other than swim. And the pool at the gym is about 20 minutes from me, and it's getting easier and easier to put off going because of the distance and how I feel. So I'm not exercising as much as I'd like to.   Well that's all for now. I've gotta go get ready for my last lab of Microbiology for the summer, Take care all!
Nurseypoo

Nurseypoo

1
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