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Victoria's Secret, Here I Come!

AGAIN, I sit here at work on the edge of my chair praying that it doesn't break and knock my ass to the floor. I am always getting coupons to Victoria's Secret for free pairs of underwear. Not because I can wear their clothes but because I buy perfume and body products there. I went in last week to use my most recent coupon. I usually give them to someone I know but this time I decided that I would keep them for myself as an incentive to lose the weight. Okay, someday I may be able to wear a large or an extra large, but I don't ever see this ass fitting in a small or medium which is conveniently all that they had left of the free ones. I told my husband that the first thing that I am going to do when I lose enough weight is go to Victoria's Secret and purchase one of their cute push up bras. He already complains that my boobs are sagging to my belly button which is exaggeration but I am sick of wearing the 100% cotton sports bras to flatten everything as much as possible. We should challenge Hugh Heffner to publish an issue of Playboy magazine featuring ladies that have have lost 100 or more pounds. I can't say that if I were even a size 6 that I would have the nerve to do it, but I wonder how many of you would? Just a thought!
Kentucky Girl

Kentucky Girl

1
 

The Dentist's Chair

So, last Friday I had a routine checkup and cleaning scheduled at the dentist. I went to the dentist as usual and straddled the chair to get in it. As the girl begins to raise the chair up and lay it down electronically to clean my teech, it begins to snap, crackle and pop. It has never done this before! I laid there terrified that I have just broken this very expensive chair. I panic that when she is finished, she will not be able to raise me back up. How embarrassing! I'm sure that the chair doesn't usually make these noises. Only when a 340 lb. person is sitting in it! Surprisingly, the chair raised up just fine with no noises this time but I had scooted down in the chair trying to take the majority of my weight off of the back before she moved it. Had I broken their chair, I wonder if they would have tried to charge me for it?
Kentucky Girl

Kentucky Girl

0
 

Need To Vent

I have a few things to get off of my chest today not to mention the 150 lbs. that I need to lose. As I sit here at my window seat desk, I can see my reflection staring back at me. It disgusts me to see the rolls of fat as I sit crunched in this office chair. My uniform shirts seem to shrink even though I wash them in cold water and hang them to dry. I have my fan blowing on my face because it is hot, (105-108 heat index today) but I would rather put a jacket on to cover up the rolls of fat because I don't want anyone seeing them. Like people can't look at me with or without a jacket and tell that I am morbidly obese right? Anyway, I just want to sneeze, blink or click my heals together and the weight be gone. I failed to mention that another thing that I am constantly worrying about while I sit in my chair at work. There are offic chairs for normal size people and office chairs for fat people. So who wants to seriously go to the office supply purchasing agent and say "I need a fat persons chair"? Not me. One day while sitting here I heard a loud pop. I instantly jumped out of my chair and examined it. Everything looked fine so I gently sat my large ass on the edge of the chair unsure of what had just happened. Suddenly, a loud noise that sounded like a gun shot went off drawing everyones attention to me ( I sit in a cube with 7 other people and none of them are FAT! I jumped up out of the chair and the spring mechanism had broken, stripped, gave out or just decided that it couldn't take my fat ass anymore . Oh yeah, I forgot to add that this chair was only 9 months old. So, daily I hold my breath and hope that it doesn't happen again before I can get this weight off. I am sure that no one else has ever had anything like this happen to them, RIGHT? : )
Kentucky Girl

Kentucky Girl

10
 

First Timer Here

I am in the insurance required waiting stages of surgery. My insurance requires 6 months of a doctor supervised weight loss program and this is my 4th month. I have an endoscopy schedule on 7/31 and all other testing and paperwork have been completed with the exception of an EKG. I will be 42 in 2 weeks and have been overweight most of my life. I am tired of being tired. I have no major medical problems so speak of just the usual arthritis and aching back. My arch nemesis is SUGAR. I can pass up anything except sweets. A few weeks ago I created a bucket list of things that I want to be able to do once I lose weight. I am sure that most of you can relate.   1. Cross my legs 2. Ride any ride at an amusement park 3. Run 1 mile (nonstop) 4. Parasail 5. Ride a motorcycle for hours without being in pain 6. Fit on a motorcycle with my husband 7. Touch my toes 8. Tuck my shirt in and not be embarrassed 9. Shop and wear clothes from Victorias Secret 10. Zipline 11. Step on a scale and not be embarrassed 12. Wear a bathing suit with confidence 13. Tube on a river (I will have to explain this one)   This obviously doesn't cover it all but these are some things that have been weighing on my mind lately. I realized last week while vacationing in the Smokey Mountains, that anyone weighing 340 pounds has no business getting on a tube in the river rapids because there are so many shallow areas where your ass literally hits rock bottom then you have to roll out of the tube, fall flat on your face and pick yourself up and walk down to a deeper end just the start all over again.   My daughter says that I am taking the easy way out by having surgery. My husband says that I am trying to kill myself and need to find another way to lose weight besides surgery. I need to lose at least 150 lbs. before I do begin to develop life threatening health issues.
Kentucky Girl

Kentucky Girl

6
 

Destiny Or Luck!

So, it has been a while since I last blogged about anything. Between work and life I have just been busy. However, a recent turn of events has brought me back. I finished my 6 month insurance required diet 3 weeks ago. 1 1/2 weeks ago my insurance approved my surgery. My last test was a stress test yesterday. My WL doctor didn't even have those results (which were all fine) and they called me today and asked me to come in tomorrow morning for my final consult with the doctor. They also told me that he has an opening on October 22. WOW! Talk about fast!! When I first started this process back in March I dreaded having the wait the 6 months which actually went back pretty quickly when you are working and life is just happening. I never dreamed that the insurance would approve me in less than 2 weeks. They usually require a 2 week preop, they said don't worry about it just start it tomorrow. So, I haven't really stressed or worried about the surgery this entire time because I was trying to get everything done that needed to get done to satisfy the insurance company. BUT NOW! I don't have time to worry. Going to eat in a few with my husband and daughter at Texas Roadhouse for my LAST SUPPER and I'm not even hungry! My downfall is sugar but don't really want that either right now. Let's back up to yesterday. I am sure that all women know what the "paper vest" is. If not, I will explain. The paper vest is disposable clothing. This vest would only cover up a person weighing under 100 lbs. Maybe less. Picture if you will, a 350 lb. woman being given this paper vest to put on on the cardiologist office. It covered nothing. I tried to adjust it only to rip out the side like SHE HULK. They said no problem, we can fix it with tape. HA They hooked up the electrodes and then proceeded to take disposable hand towels and tape and cover my breasts which had all ready been seen by everyone in the room (oh yeah, I had to walk down the hallway wearing the ripped vest to the treadmill room). I also had to walk, jog and run on the treadmill with the paper vest on. Boobs flopping everywhere. All I can say is that is why I am having this surgery. In the future, anytime I go to any doctor for any reason, I am going to request a paper vest because I should finally be able to cover this stuff up with one eventually.
Kentucky Girl

Kentucky Girl

6
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