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Where the future starts

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The Long Journey To Today

For years and years I've been obese, since I was eight years old.   I tried everything, from the sensible to the slightly insane to try to lose weight.   After a year of diligent calorie counting and exercise failed to shift any weight, I spoke with my husband about possibly pursuing bariatric surgery. Pretty quickly, I started to gravitate toward a gastric sleeve, and did a ton of research.   I put off making that appointment for a consultation for months. Now I wish I hadn't!   Because, now I'm 5 days post-op and feeling incredible, and shrinking before my very eyes!   I had a very easy surgery and my recovery was fast--practically outpatient. I was out of the hospital the next afternoon. Three days after surgery I could go shopping for a little while, five days after, I could resume my walking routine (although I may have been pushing it a little).   I've had no trouble at all keeping to my full liquid diet, and have been doing really well so far! As of yesterday, I lost 12 pounds since my surgery date. By now, it is probably even more! I can actually feel and see the changes, they're happening so fast. This is so encouraging to me, that I can't imagine having any problem sticking to my diet.   I haven't had any "head hunger" which is great--it's something a lot of people struggle with post-op, so I guess I'm just lucky that there wasn't a big psychological component to my obesity that I didn't know about.   The only challenge I've come up against so far is drinking enough water. I don't feel thirsty, and my mouth isn't dry, but they say I should be getting about 60 oz a day. There's no way I'm getting that, unless you include the other liquids I "drink" like shakes, soups, etc. The nutritionist said I shouldn't count those, but it seems pretty unattainable if I don't!   My stomach is only 2oz big, I would have to fill and empty my stomach 30 times a day with water alone to get 60oz of pure water.   Blah.   I can't complain--I'm feeling astonishingly well, and am losing weight! It's like a dream!
lunabella007

lunabella007

2
 

Ten Days Post-Op; The Mind-Sleeve Connection

I write this with a full sleeve--I think I might have overdone it on the yogurt a little!   The first ten days of my new life have been pretty busy! I haven't had the ability to really stop and take time to rest since I got home from the hospital. There's a lot of sickness in the family these days and my mother in law depends on me to take care of things for her!   I'm going to go to sleep soon--today was SO busy! But first--   I got the opportunity to talk to five ladies today at the surgeon's office, and gave them a presentation about the experience of having surgery. It was great to see the relief on their faces when they realized that I'm only 10 days post-op, and I'm doing so well! There was a lot of hope in that room--and I know those ladies will be successful! It makes me feel good that I can help them the way a kind lady helped me by showing me her scars.   Oh, and the surgeon gave me a DVD of my surgery--yes, we're just geeky like that. My liver was much prettier than I imagined!   I spoke to the ladies about how odd it was that not only am I not hungry, but I'm beginning to appreciate food in the abstract (pizza steaming on a tray in a commercial is yum!) rather than in the concrete (the thought of pizza on my plate, even a tiny piece, is not really that appetizing). I like the idea of pizza, but the idea of chewing and swallowing it and processing it through my sleeve doesn't appeal at all!   The same goes for soda, french fries, etc. It's like a miracle, I tell you!   You have to learn to listen to the sleeve's cues. For me, that hasn't been difficult. I know about two spoonfulls before I'm full, I can feel it. There is a two tablespoon difference between stuffed and uncomfortable and satisfied. Before, I could eat plate after plate of food (not that I often did, of course, but I was physically capable of it). Now, I have to FORCE myself to eat, especially the first meal of the day. Anything more than 8 tablespoons at a time and I'm physically uncomfortable--lots of swallowing, light cramping in my upper abdomen. For the first time in my life, my body is telling me when to stop! Do some people have this sensation naturally built in to their stomachs? Maybe some of us need to have it surgically constructed, while others are born with it.
lunabella007

lunabella007

2
 

Surgery Video

The camera starts when he starts freeing the stomach from the fatty tissue, and continues filming all the way through to them blowing up my stomach with air to check for leaks. It's 26 minutes long from start to finish--that fast!   I had such a curiosity to see what my insides look like! I'm glad I got to see it! My liver is really a gorgeous shade of mauve, and my fat is orange, and my stomach is red/grey, and the film over my diaphram is silvery. I thought pretty much everything inside was pink or red.   Anyway, after he freed the stomach, he cut off one lobe of it using some kind of a sonic cutter, then the bougie (the guide for my new stomach shape) came down my esophagus and he started cutting/cauterizing/stapling my stomach as he went from the bottom of my stomach to the top, getting tighter and tighter as he worked upward. This is to create a lot of restriction to help me to eat less, and to help food get funneled downward.   My surgeon said my surgery was pretty routine, with the exception of perhaps a little more bleeding than is usual (which was pretty easy to get under control). Oh, except one funny thing, when he got close to the top of the stomach nearest my diaphram I got the WORST case of chain hickups I've ever seen! It's all on video!   There's so many motions that go on inside--I saw the peristalsis of my intestine, I saw my heartbeat in the vibration of the walls of my abdomen, and I saw hickups from the inside! How weird is that?   If anyone is interested in seeing the video to see what happens, just send me a message! It's kind of a big file, so maybe I can get it up on Youtube 'cause its too big to send in email.
lunabella007

lunabella007

7
 

Holey Moley! This Is Actually Working!

My goodness, gracious, it's been an insane three weeks. THREE WEEKS ALREADY! I feel so different already, my knees don't hurt nearly as badly when I go up stairs. My body feels lighter, and I find myself entertaining ideas about yoga!   I've been too busy to take care of myself the way I should. I should see to my nutrition a little more. It's hard to get in all my protein for the day, but I usually manage. My husband is taking a turn for the better since he came down with Legionnaire's disease last week. He's still coughing up blood, but his fevers are under control. I really hope this course of antibiotics manages to wipe it out.   Oh, and my mother in law is starting to show signs of dementia. It's been a rough week or so.   But I'm still on track, and on the way downward! Today, I found out that I've lost 39 pounds since I've been on this path to the new me! That includes 10 pounds pre-op. But that's almost 40 pounds!!! That's the weight of a small child!   I find it amazing that this is actually working. I mean, I know my stomach is tiny, and I know I don't eat a lot, but GEESH! Not even a month, just three weeks, and I lost 29 pounds after the surgery! Is that average? Above average? I think it's unbelievable!   I don't want the world to see me any differently than it did when I was morbidly obese--it's a preoccupation I have. I don't want people to treat me differently. I know they will, though, they already have been, some of them. It's very discouraging to know that I'm going to be on the positive end of a prejudice that once discriminated against me. It feels as if I'm changing races, or genders, or religions, or something equally important to my identity, and I don't know what to expect on the other side.   It's kind of scary! I've never known "normal". What will I hide behind when my fat suit is gone?   I might have to address some latent social anxiety I've been dealing with. It will be an interesting, maybe painful, process of self discovery. I don't know what is to come, but I know I'll be a healthier, stronger, less anxious person on the other end!
lunabella007

lunabella007

2
 

Day 15 Post-Op

Another ok day! I'm still dealing with my lady time, but I weighed myself anyway at my mother in law's (something I would never do during lady time before--too depressing!). It turns out that even though I've retained a bunch of water, I'm STILL losing weight!   Two pounds in two days! For real!   It's kinda hard right now. It's been a stressful few days. My mother in law seems to be suffering now from dementia, and it is making it harder to care for her since she is forgetting to drink water and forgetting to take her pills (the only two real responsibilities she has left, we do everything else.)   That, and my husband just came down with something--bronchitis or pneumonia, I don't know. He's got a cough, and he has a pretty high fever of 102.5 tonight. I'm keeping a watchful eye on him. If he still has a high fever in the morning, we'll go to the VA. He had shaking chills earlier, and that was pretty scary. Now he's taken all those blankets off himself, so it's slightly less scary. I hope he gets a good night's sleep because he hasn't been sleeping well lately, worrying about his mother.   Just as I'm starting to feel better, everyone else falls apart!   This is what I was preparing for by having WLS--needing to be on the top of my game to care for my family. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't know it would happen so quickly.   Yet, so many blessings! I must continue to be grateful!
lunabella007

lunabella007

0
 

Day 12 Post-Op-- Heavy Duty Cleaning! Tossin' My Big Old Clothes!

Wow! Today was the most physically demanding day I've had since surgery!   I cleaned out the walk-in closet, and sorted through the bags of items that were piling up in the living room from our garage sale expeditions. My LORD did I throw out a lot of clothes. I feel like I didn't jump the gun on this--lots of the stuff is 24/26 or 22/24 anyway, and that doesn't fit me anymore. But my goodness--all the clothes I kept just because they fit! About 60% of my closet was old lady handmedowns (not that there's anything wrong with handmedowns obviously!) But there was so much in there that didn't suit my style, looked like it belonged in a retirement community, or was just kinda ugly but I kept it because the size was ok.   Not anymore!   Out goes the ugly orange shorts, and the hideous knit sleeveless tops, the stripey clown pants--the lot!   That feels really good!   I finally got around to watching the video of my surgery, which I'll write about in detail later. Does everybody's surgeon make a video of their VSG procedure, or is mine just weird? lol It's amazing that that happened inside me, and I'm feeling pretty darn normal!
lunabella007

lunabella007

1
 

11 Days Post-Op-- Sexy Yoga Pants And Staying Hydrated When It Is Hot As The Devil's Drawers Outside!

Ninety seven degrees is not cool! It is in fact very very hot. I live in Michigan, and while MI is not exactly the great white North, 97* is considered extreme here.   Five days ago, our car blew a tire. It just straight-up blew. We had to get a new wheel, new brake housing, and a new tire and this meant we had to get a rental car for a few days so we could keep living our lives. We had a two hour wait at the tire shop, and luckily there was a strip mall nearby where my husband and I could grab something to eat and do a little poking around.   First stop was Chili's, but they were too busy so we decided to go to Noodles and Company. Ordinarily I would order something Asian, probably Thai peanut noodles but obviously that wasn't an option. I ordered a bowl of tomato bisque instead. Yeah, they brought me about a gallon of the stuff. *GAG!* I hadn't "eaten" since 7am, and it was 1:30pm, but I still couldn't eat more than about 6 spoons of soup before I got that little nudge in my abdomen that told me to stop. This time I listened. I had no desire to be nauseated, hot, achy, and tired all at the same time.   Next, we went to the GAP. I wanted to try on some new clothes to see if I might fit into a smaller size--sure enough I did! Before, I was probably a steady 24 who could sometimes wear a 22 in certain styles. Today, I bought a pair of shorts that were 16-18 (granted, really stretchy and soft) and they fit just great! Sooo comfortable! I also decided to get a pair of yoga pants. I have the butt for them, absolutely, but mostly I like the sort of clean, streamlined look they lend to an ensemble. I'm wearing them now and they feel great!   Then, on to the Pet Co to see if they had any kittens in residence (I love looking at kitties!) We had some good laughs looking at the chameleon, and the ferrets and the fish (my husband kind of wants a fish tank now!) but there were no kitties there today.   I did all of this, walking in the 97* heat, standing for two hours, just 12 days post op. I think I did a great job! I even went for a 20 minute walk when I got home. I'm feeling a little bushed right now, but that's ok. The only challenge I had was staying hydrated!   I was sweating a lot, and couldn't replenish my fluids fast enough to keep up! I was so thirsty I drank too fast a couple of times, and regretted it fiercely. I've got to remind myself to go slowly IN EVERYTHING! No matter how thirsty I am, I have to remember to sip sip sip!   So here's my lesson learned: "WHEN YOU ARE OUTSIDE IN THE SUMMER, KEEP YOUR HAND GLUED TO A WATER BOTTLE AND DRINK SLOWLY ALL DAY LONG. STAY COOL, AND DON'T GET TOO MUCH SUN."
lunabella007

lunabella007

3
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