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I have a date

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Day 8

So, it has been a tough week for me. There were so many highs and lows. It's hard being a single, independent woman because you are so used to relying on yourself for everything. No one came to visit me when I left the hospital so that sucked pretty bad. Maybe it's because everyone else is used to me doing for me period.   Food - I miss chewing everything. Gum, meat, vegetables, whatever. I lot of the protein drinks that I bought pre op taste awful but because I spent so much money I am trying to push through. The most digusting thing is the protein jello (what was I thinking when I bought that).   Work - I started working from home on day 7 and it was tough because I worked a full 8 hours. It felt good not to just be sitting around the house, plus I will not lose any additional time.   Exercise - I walked two full miles today and felt great. I was totally energized which is different. I have been getting my 1 mile in per day but decided to push it because my pain is pretty much gone. I am totally afraid to weigh myself because the last time I weighed I had gained a few pounds. I cannot wait to be able to do more than walking.   I am so glad that my child is almost 18 and does not require a lot of cooking from me. Cooking food in these first few weeks is hard. It is still hard to smell food when she cooks. I want to throw everything in the garbage.   Jello and popsicles are my best friend.   I wish I had a significant other to share little milestones with. I have a friend that had a bypass 4 years ago but I haven't had very much support from her since my surgery. Everyone is "too" busy. I'm definitely going to follow up with the therapy session so I will not completely lose my mind.   I guess this is all for now. Feel like I am rambling.
angellic16

angellic16

6
 

Two Weeks Since Surgery - Back To Work

I thought that today was going to be a tough one. I have been dreading going back to work but had no choice since I am a single parent. So last night after spending hours doing homework and taking tests, I packed up my first lunch since 2006 (I never took lunch to work) and picked out an outfit that wasn't too big but not too small prepared for my first day back.   So far today has not been so bad. People ask questions about me losing weight but not really prying...yet. I kind of just ate at my desk since, I never liked eating in the building and it's too hot to sit in my car. I will have to figure out a better to do this.   Oh yeah and my fingers are apparently slimming down. I have a new ring on and I had to move it to my index finger which was totally unexpected. My fingers have always been chubby even when I wasn't.
angellic16

angellic16

6
 

Blood Pressure - 3 Weeks Since Surgery

So my blood pressure was great while I was in the hospital, then the dr. told me to stop taking my medication. The next week it yo-yo'd up and down from normal to high. Did the same the next week and at my post op visit. One day it was extremely high but I figured it was the end of the day and maybe I was just stressed. So I was put back on my meds a week ago. Normally my pressure is fine with the medication. This week it has been kind of borderline. This morning I checked it and it was scary high. I knew something was wrong because I woke up with this terrible headache. I don't know what am I doing wrong or why it is like this.   This is pretty discouraging for me because I was looking forward to not taking medications again. I am not losing weight like I want and that is bothering me as well. People say I am looking smaller but ...well you know I guess it is about how you feel.   Today I feel like crawling in the bed and staying there.
angellic16

angellic16

5
 

Countdown 10 Hours To Go

Today was a tough one. I stayed home from work due to the clear liquid only diet. I was afraid that I would be a little less than friendly so it was probably best. I spent today drinking and drinking until I chicken brothed myself sick. I feel prepared and unprepared at the same time. Will I remember all the instructions that I read over and over again for the past 3 months? Doubtful. Hoping that I don't fail. Fearful that they will go in and say this liver is still too large, close her up.   Angellic
angellic16

angellic16

4
 

Going Into My 6Th Week

Things are going pretty good. I am working out (still waiting for that 6 week cutoff so that I can weight lift) but I am doing everything else. It is amazing to learn how much I ate just because. It is easy to see especially when you are dining out. I see my friends eating and cleaning their plates and I am satisfied after a few bites. It feels really great. My friends are not as weirded out by the whole thing as I thought they would be which is good.   Today has been kind of different for me. I was craving something crunchy/salty and went to the dreaded vending machine. I knew that I shouldn't have but I was dying. I ate some baked Lays and I can't believe that I ate the entire bag. Who knew my pouch would allow me to. I do not feel bad physically, of course mentally I feel terrible but I know that it will pass.
angellic16

angellic16

4
 

No Not The Shoes, Not Yet...

So I'm excited about the fact that I am losing weight. Less than 10 more lbs to go before I am below 200. (i'm excited about that turning point) Now let's talk about my shoes. I knew that there was potential for my feet to shrink a bit but I didn't think it would happen so soon. I am only 7 weeks out. I was trying to get the wear out of a few of the cutest sandals I bought pre-season but they flopped around on my feet today almost like clown shoes.   Of course I got rid of so many shoes last fall because I had no idea I would really do this and the smaller, tighter shoes were clogging up my closet. Where are those shoes now? I am really going to have to get creative with this. All of my shoes are wide or stretched until they are wide. I am so picky about finding cute shoes I feel torn on having to shop for my collection all over again.
angellic16

angellic16

4
 

Stalled

I know that this stall business is a way of life for us but that does not mean I have to like it. I haven't lost a pound in a while and I have been exercising like crazy. I know that we will lose inches in this process but I guess I am chained to the scale for goodness sakes.
angellic16

angellic16

2
 

Stalling Slowly Going Away

Well, I'm back to losing weight even though I was stalled my clothes fit totally different. I have dropped a few sizes down and I am so excited.
angellic16

angellic16

2
 

I Have A Date...

This is my first attempt at blogging so I hope I don't ramble on. I received a great birthday present yesterday morning. My date! I am scheduled for May 25th.   I feel scared, nervous, excited and nauseous all at once. I am a single parent and I do not really feel like I have the emotional support that I need. I may even be at the hospital alone, just have someone drop me off and pick me up the next day.   I don't think people understand the reasoning behind my actions but I cannot wait to start my life again.
angellic16

angellic16

2
 

Better Day

So my blood pressure is back to normal. Thank goodness!!! I am feeling pretty good. This is my 4th week post op. The weight is coming down slowly. I still find it hard to get all the protein and liquids in but I am trying really hard.   On to the next week...
angellic16

angellic16

1
 

Just A Mediocre Day

Today was my first day back at work since taking 3 days off for vacation. It seems like a small whirlwind for me since I was able to return back to work just to leave again on Thursday for the big day. I have only told a handful of my closest coworkers just because I am a pretty private person. But if someone asks I just tell them. I do not care about the looks or the surprise on their faces. I get that enough from my immediate family.   I had my pre op today and it felt weird. There was no particular reason for it or maybe because I hate hospitals. I dread the words "we are going to need to get some blood" since my veins are tiny and the last time someone had to pull out the ultrasound machine to find one.   On a good note, I may be able to work from home the second week of my recovery which is a definite plus for me. Just waiting on that paperwork from the dr.   Today I had to send a mass text to my friends to ask someone to sit with me before and during my surgery. I am one of those independent people that hates to burden anyone and I always try to do it myself. But after the nurse looked at me like "what do you mean no one will be here" I figured I would break down and ask. It was short notice but I do have a friendly face to look to when I open my eyes. (sometimes it sucks to be single)
angellic16

angellic16

1
 

2 Months Down And A Lifetime To Go...

I am slowly but surely telling people about my surgery and I cannot expess enough the same answer to the same question. How long do you have to eat like this? Answer- Forvever, I didn't go through all this pain and pay all this $$$$ to gain weight all over again. And stop inviting out to dinner, let's go walking or bowling or watch a movie instead. I know that friends will come and go during this journey and I am ok with that. I believe that the true friends stick with you no matter what.   NSV - Working out of on the eliptical for 30 minutes straight. That is a big one for me. Those last 10 minutes were killer.   These two months have not been as bad as I imagined. I feel really great, positive attitude with life in general and energetic. I definitely know that the guys are paying a little more attention now that I have slimmed down a bit. My friends always said they were looking before but I never noticed. Now I see a smile here or there. A pause with direct eye contact by a stranger. But I still believe in the ones that were around BS (before surgery) those are the true ones. Even though it doesn't hurt to find new friends .   I am looking forward to August, I just found a new house and I am starting the process for purchase. This is really exciting. If all goes well I will be sipping lemonade in the shade on my new screened in porch.
angellic16

angellic16

1
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