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Describing the way I feel so far pre op

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Ugh.... 3 Days Away

Well, I've been on an emotional roller coaster since deciding to have surgery. The first time I decided to have surgery was in 2010. I was very uneasy with the doctor so I changed my mind. I found a new doctor and staff I absolutely adore. The emotions I have range from fear to excitement to extreme nervousness etc. I don't know. That is how I found this site. I was looking for people that could understand my emotions. My family doesn't understand. Part of me wants to change my mind right now, the other part of me wants to do this and change my life. My initial decision to have surgery wasn't right. I was doing it for my mother and sister. I just technically wanted to fit in with them. I can't even admit that outloud to anyone. That is the part that makes me want to cry. They are really close, I've always been a daddy's girl but sometimes I wish I could go shopping with them and they wont tell me I'm to big or that makes me look fat. So after overcoming those feelings I had to regroup. I've been having bad dreams because of my nervousness and I have a extreme low tolerance for pain. I'm 25. I have no kids and no serious health problems except that I am obese, that was my decision maker. I wanted to prevent any major health problems and fix my life right now. I've always been bigger and yo yo my weight. I receive criticism because everyone says I'm to young to have this surgery and I need to exercise and stop eating etc... Don't they think I have tried that? Originally when I made my decision the person I am dating did not support me. We actually broke up for a while because they wanted me to change my mind. I knew that was something I could not do. I was tired of pleasing everyone and doing what they wanted me to do. Yet, on the other side I am doing what my mom pushed me to do. I chose my own surgery. I did not want a lap band or to have gastric bypass, I did my research and this was best for me. Did anyone else go through extreme emotions before surgery?
Kandi24z

Kandi24z

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