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A young woman's journey through Weight loss and achieving the best her!

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Psych Eval--Sike!

Maybe some can relate and maybe some wont but I feel like this forum has really helped me to be comfortable with my decision and open about my emotions and my life.   This body represents my pain!   Every excess pound represents something. All of the ups and downs of my life, bad decisions, dreams on hold...   Everything...   I had my psych eval today! I dont know what I was expecting...I guess more questions, but there were hardly any--maybe because I talk too much!   Yesterday I had it out with my sister...full on brawl. My husband came into our place and instead of supporting me and hearing me...he added to my anger! I havent been very friendly lately...   Im just tired of putting everyone elses happiness before mine.   I thought that the events of my life these past few weeks would have really been dug through during this psych eval and I would be angry that because of allowing other people to control my emotions that I would have been found unfit for surgery or something...I mean everyone has issues right!?   Regardless of how Im feeling about my relationships with other people I have really made this decision for me. Maybe because I am so focused on myself right now people who normally get all my attention and expect me to fix everything in their life now are angry with me because frankly i dont have time for it. TOUGH!!   I cant help anyone anymore until I HELP MYSELF. I cant fix your life and help you be happy when this SMILE IS FAKE.   A few tears fell when asked what was my last straw that I finally decided to move forward. I AM MY LAST STRAW. THE REALIZATION that I MATTER, and that IM IMPORTANT and that I NEED TO COME FIRST...the person staring back at me in the mirror is not the person I see when I look at pictures. That woman in the mirror is beautiful, confident, strong, looks amazing...etc etc. The person in the pictures is all of that but doesnt look as amazing as she thought when she put on that outfit she thought hid some imperfections.   This body...does not live up to my view of ME...and Im tired of it holding me in like a prisoner.   End result of Psych eval--IM READY FOR SURGERY...Im realistic about my expectations and I have a good feel of who I am right now and where I want to go.   SOUNDS GOOD TO ME...ILL TAKE THAT!!   Was your psych eval a scary thought? what happened?
2BonederfulAgain

2BonederfulAgain

5
 

Secret...forget It!

?!   Originally I was thinking Im not going to tell anyone I am having this surgery, you know because people always have an opinion about what you are doing. I work in a really tight knit family setting, if you tell one person then everyone knows (theres only 7 of us in the main office, but there are lots of people in each program). So who cares THEY KNOW (I mean they are my other family!) But I dont want other people knowing. Is this weird?!   I dont want the reaction of "O yolisse lost a lot of weight" and someone responds "o because she had that surgery" like if we dont have anything else to do, just get the surgery and life goes on and its fixed like LIPO and a TUMMY TUCK. They dont get it!   Do I want to take the time to say "ACTUALLY, i had to do pre-op diet, and then surgery, then clear liquids for 2 weeks...TRY JUST DOING THAT!? and this and that" Or do I shrug that off like WHATEVER!   Yesterday, I was talking to the Psych nurse here at my job (SISTER MAUREEN, the best NUN who you would never know is a nun--I love her) I just was picking her brain about the psych eval etc etc. and we were in close proximity to one of the receptionists from another program who asked "why the hell are you going through a psych eval?" I gave her the answer most people would expect from me "Because IM F*#% NUTS!" LOL !! Then I said "No Im going through the Weight Loss Surgery Approval Process, I mean just cuz Im nuts doesnt mean I should have to be Fat and Nuts! DAMN!" Laugh Laugh and then she responded "O my...you're doing that! "   (IN MY MIND) YES IM DOING IT...and I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK BC 100034534 people can say DONT DO IT(well maybe not that many), but until you have been in my shoes YOUR OPINION DOESNT MATTER!   Until you have journalled all the food touching your lips for 3 weeks and staying under 1300 calories and walking/running 3-5 miles a day and when you weigh in you have lost 2 POUNDS then BBBYYYYEEEE !!!!! and had to be on medication that makes you so nauseous that you cant even talk without gagging, and have to ultimately face your husband and say to him "I can never give you children because of my weight and the complications it causes in my life, and that I will likely suffer many many miscarriages and possibly birth an unhealthy child" then you cant say I SHOULDNT DO IT.   So anyway...this sounds like I dont care about what people say because Im going to do it anyway (which is true) but the question is...DO I EVEN WANT TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL THE TIME or DEAL WITH THE OPINIONS!   I know many of you are going through this same battle...what are your thoughts!?
2BonederfulAgain

2BonederfulAgain

10
 

Something For Me!

Yesterday I attended my first WLS seminar, I thought I wanted to lapband but a friend of mine got the Sleeve and after the seminar I had decided that I too think this is the best route for me.   Im a 25 year old married woman who works full time and is also a full time student . I have always been confident and even at my current size can't seem to grasp that I really don't look as great as I think--until I see pictures and I say "HOLY SMOKES! Do I really look like that?"   My husband recently turned 29 and for the last (almost) 10 years that we have been together he has always said he wants children by the age of 30. Well THAT JUST ISNT GOING TO HAPPEN--not that I dont want to have children and find that in the next year I would be pretty ready to have a child but I have a problem.   FERTILITY ISSUES... I have PCOS and insulin resistance. 1500mg of Metformin a day make me irritable and I hate the nausea I live with almost all day every day. Regular ladyparts doctor tells me LOSE WEIGHT and it will get better, REALLY? nooo I HAVENT BEEN TRYING? (sarcastic) . and Reproductive Endo tells me she wont help me get pregnant at this size and age because basically it is like me asking her to kill me and make a sick child. This bummed me out and I was convinced that couldnt be true because I mean I know people way larger than I am who have children. But then I say "Yoli, can they run and play with their children" and "they are bigger now, do you want that?" NO I DONT.   So it is time for me to take some time out and do something that will help me to be the best me. The me I know I want to be and can be! So here we go.   Consultation is April 13, 2012 in Paramus, NJ at the Advanced Laparoscopic Associates (Dr. Sebastian Eid, MD) and my pre-op required class is April 25, 2012 at 6:30 (satisfying an insurance approval requirement).   Good Luck to you all and Good Luck to me. Comment, tell me your story...Im open to see it all!
2BonederfulAgain

2BonederfulAgain

3
 

Next Step...

Surgery date has been set for MAY 16th! whoa...that is a month away.   I dont know what I was really thinking when I went into my consultation last Friday--well yes I do, I thought maybe 3-6 months and Ill be going into surgery but now the reality is that by my 26th birthday (and my one year wedding anniversary) in September I will be 4 months post op and quite possibly under 200 lbs (30lbs in 4 mths seems doable)   I see my primary care physician today, thursday i see my nutritionist, and friday I have my psych eval.   Then pre-op diet begins after that!   I am excited!
2BonederfulAgain

2BonederfulAgain

3
 

15 Day Post Op 21 Lbs Down But Stalled 3 Days Now...

WHATS GOING ON??   Has anyone else gotten stuck this early in? Im 210 right now...down from 232 but that number hasnt moved in days and yesterday I was a lb up. I keep gaining and losing the same lb lb and a half for the last 3 or 4 days...   Im on mushys now. Just started, got some yogurt in. Havent eaten much bc its not quite agreeing yet. Maybe Im not getting enough liquids in? Im trying...   share please!!   ANNNDDD im a rental agent and Ive been climbing up and down stairs SOME UNITS ARE ON FOURTH FLOOR...alot in the last two days...im up and moving!! help?!
2BonederfulAgain

2BonederfulAgain

3
 

Day 6Postop, Feeling Amazing

I slept really well last night...actually amazingly well. I even rolled to my side which was a huge accomplishment. I have virtually no pain today. I do want to give a shout out to my sleeve sister phatdiva! She makes this much easier!   I am 14lbs down as of this morning...is that great? I'm afraid its one of those water weight things,like the first week u diet u lose lbs and then they are back the next week...is that going to happen?   My husband has been eating alll types of wonderful things in front of me, testing my head...ialmost want tocry. Clear liquids suck, I can't wait for full liquids. Although I miss texture I really miss flavors.   How are you doing?
2BonederfulAgain

2BonederfulAgain

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