my weight is still stuck.I have played 2 super hard games of squash this week and,nothing!Before this surgery I would have dropped a couple of pounds at least.
My house mate (teeny tiny little thing with about 7kg's to lose) is losing weight faster than me at the moment.Scary really!
So we are having our first international visitors and have been going out to lunch and dinner every day since Monday.They leave on sunday again.I havent found it too difficult once I made the choice to just survive this week.I still have the pain in my abdomen and back all the time and I have some acid issues and this crazy throat that just feels so hairy/fluffy and is driving me crazy.I had zero energy all week and I look like a ghost with these dark circles around my eyes....that is until tonight.
We had a big BBQ cook out here at our house tonight.There were crisps,biltong (dried meat) and hummus and mutabal.I had a few crisps and few tiny pieces of biltong.Then I had taste of red wine and then I had 1.5oz o fillt steak n 1/5 of a baby potato,just a bite really.Just relaxed without overdoing it but enjoying every moment of it.
I am shocked to see how easy the crisps goes down...I wont be eating that again.Th guilt wanted to overwhelm me afterward but then I realized that I am normal and I ate very little when all is said an done.I am petrified of the scales however!
Maybe this will be the night that I sleep well....I really need a good nights rest.
xxo
how great is it to say it was just another day!Nothing eventful or upsetting happened.I stuck to my food plan,played a tough game of squash (got whipped today) cooked my kids dinner and enjoyed their company.
Now I just hope the scale will start moving again.Stuck at 116.5kg's.
Oh well,tomorrow maybe!
Such a lot has happened this week.My sister and her new husband came for a visit from SA and helped me get into eating small portions of real solid food.
This is great as I was in a serious stall and had zero energy before.Now I have added fiber to my diet and let me tell you it makes the world of difference.Low carb just dont do it for me.I get so constipated I want to die.Add 25g of all bran fiber and Bob's your uncle...dont need laxative anymore.
I also did a bit of REAL EMOTIONAL EATING 2 days ago.
We have just been promoted....TO THE USA.this is still a strange and super scary concept as we have always lived in very international societies and we are not sure WHAT peoples reaction to our VERY,VERY blended family will be in ........NEW JERSEY!
The eating the day we heard was crazy.will write about what we can really eat it we wanted to tonight.
Then,one more thing and I dont know if I've mentioned it.a few days after surgery I started having hot flushes like mad....will write about that later
Tonight we had friends over for a BBQ for eath hour.The disconnect I feel with food (even knowing what to give the kids for dinner every night is a nightmare to me,I just cannot think about food) was an issue but my friend and my housekeeper took over and all in all it was a great success.
I really dont have an interest in people or going out at the moment.Its as if I have lost interest in life as it was.I know this will get better when I start eating again.I suppose part of what I feel is just a lack of energy because of low calories.
Life just seems so boring at the moment.I cannot walk for longer than 25 minutes.Shopping seems a bit pointless.Cant swim yet,wounds are not healed yet.But day by day I am feeling stronger and I know soon it will all be better and back to some sort of nomal.
It really sounds as if I am whining but I am not really.I said I would be honest and I am.Eating was a big part of my life and I suppose I miss dealing with my emotions by eating.So,I will keep truckin and I will overcome.All will be good in the end.Down 22 pounds today.
xxo
one major issue I've had constantly is this horrible,thick,furry feeling in my throat every day.The dental higenist suggested I look at my meds for the asthma.Well,I skipped the alevesco yesterday and am confident that my throat will be better now.I seem to have a problem with oral cortico steroids as the previous one gave me thrush in my mouth.
Now to find something that works without side effects.Or better yet...get thin and get fit so that I dont need the meds anymore,wouldnt that just be a total blessing?
Some days,well most days now,I am happy with this sleeve.When I want to emotional eat,I wait for meal time and I eat something I really like.And that has changed dramatically.I feel normal.When I eat a little,I feel normal.When I fill my little pudding bowl we laugh about it and I usually end up taking half of the food out.
It is great to actually not be able to eat more.I still have a popcicle or 2 some nights.Have given up doing things that make me feel uncomfortable and enjoy my food more than ever before!
xxo
237 this morning! Thats 50 pounds!
On the downside I had a little very diluted wine last night and heartburn at 4 this morning.So,I am now finished with alcohol.Dont need it anyway.BUT I also added acidophyllis and a B12 sublingual and a folic acid to my vits last night.That,with the wine and a not low in fat pork sausage,might have just freaked out my poor stomach.
Will wait 1 day then start back,one by one,the following:
1.multi vit in the morning with acidophyllis.
2. Calcium + magnesium citrate at lunch
3.B12 a 16:00
Will see how it works.I am a very undisciplined person that is a real scatterbrain and tend to forget stuff way to often.Will try to be good!
On the food side.I think I am losing because I am eating very little.Having said that there is the odd day now that I dont make my proteins and should step that up a little.
xxo
At the moment I have to just sit down.We played squash for and hour and 15 minutes as hard as we could.From this day forward this excuse that I am tired,dont have energy,have pain has got to stop.A friend that never ever use to beat me now whips my behind.When I have played a hard game my toes are usually sore( bumping against the front of the shoe when I break suddenly..lol) and I havent had a sore toe since surgery...so exercise,here I come.
Tomorrow morning I am starting pilates classes,Monday night I've got a game lined up,Tuesday I will just do walk away the pounds,and so on and so forth.I will also start doing some light weight training as my arms are so flabby they seem to be getting bigger!Exercise might not help for the skin but it does make them thinner.
I keep wondering why I am so resistent against the exercise after the surgery.I always use to joke I am the fittest fat person on earth and yet since surgery I just dont feel like exercising.
Have only had a tiny .25 of a slice at 8 weeks out to see if I could after so many said they cant.Not had any since then.Im a good girl with this ruddy protein diet.
xxo
Hehehe,every time I mention who good I am with the eating I have to prove myself wrong.
Had a horrible food day yesterday.I kept on wanting to eat something every 2 hours.And I ate carbs.Little bit but all day long.
Today I am puffy and swollen and I had horrible joint aches all night long ( first time in a while).Dont know what the relationship is between what I ate and that but I am back to my better eating pattern today.
Going to dinner at friends house tonight but I will make good choices.
xxo
this is for my own info.When I want to do the stupid again...lol
Refined carbs and sugar makes you feel sick stupid!!!!!! Hehehe.
We are celebrating all kinds of things,birthday,the move,the qell....we are just having loads of visitors and last night the lady brought brownies.
So tonight I decided that a little bite of a brownie and a few crisps will not kill me....but I forgot how sick I feel when I eat stuff like this.I can not understand or explain the sick feeling bur I feel so aweful.Just sick.
so,now I have to get through this and hope I have learnt my lesson.
The truthis I know I should not weigh every day.And if I had listened to myself then I would not have weighed again today after yesterday's great loss.
Well,up a pound this morning and I am sure it will be down again some time later.
Lesson,weigh in once a week only.....sure I will do this...lol
Second thing.I struggle with having no addictions left so tonight I decided to eat some crisps.Measured 30 grams,1 spoon of hummus and settled down to eat it.Well,of course I ate to fast but after 15g I was stuffed and called my daughter to save me by taking it away...and now I am sitting here with a super stuffed feeling that I didnt know was possible and cannot understand how it happened with so little.
Ok,dont know if I will learn a lesson in this but I will think twice about eating this again.
Things have changed since this morning.It seems that we will be moving to the UK as the USA visa issues are to complicated for myself and oldest daughter at this point.We are. Strangely blended family,to different for the US immigration to comprehend.lol.It would hav been a great experience living in the US but I dont want to worry about a border control person with pms refusing me entry after a holiday...we know what pms does to some of us..hehehe!
At least we can start looking at the future and go to the UK to see where we will settle at the end of summer.And I can start planning my summer holiday very soon!
I will keep doing what Im doing and stop fussing over a few pounds this way or that way.Until the next psyco event!
Our house guests are leaving in the morning,jippeeeee!
It is super difficult for me to eat out at present.I have to eat sooo slow when I do proteins like chicken breast or beef fillet everyone is finished long before I've had 2oz of meat.
Also,I got fed up tonite and ordered a chicken wrap,its cut in 5,and I ate one.Of course, its 23:30 and I rally feel like eating....bu I wont.
So,I have 2 eating out appointments over the weekend and one movie (biggest challenge ever not to try caramel popcorn... Hehe).Thank goodness going out will be with a future sleever and a RNY 2 years out friend...we can share,eat little and not feel strange about it.
Ok,nou for some more water.It is really hot now,over 100 most days and I am not getting all the water I need.will step that and the protein shakes up from tomorrow.
On Monday I am getting my first overseas visitors post sleeve.We will be doing all kinds of stuff like a dhow dinner cruise,a dhow cruise to Musandam,a beautiful area in Omani waters where you snorkel and of course eat! A desert safari,and of course eating in the desert...o and lots more.This will be a real challenge for me as I dont know what to try and eat at events like these.Will have to think this through carefully.
Beginning of May is th next set of visitors...we are going to stay in a desert resort that makes the most devine food...o well,no better moment than these ones to teach me to accept my new life without th loads of food I always ate.
xxo
