First I just want to say that my silly Ipad does not allw me to comment on the comments...I will sort this out as I really want to be able to thank evdryone for the encouragement!
As for today.2 days ago I changed my PPI to Nexium as I know it works for me....and it does!I also got some disflatel ( like gasX) and one Tumm per day,cut into tiny pieces,Every time I get that slighty hot feeling I take a tiny little piece of the tumm and well,it sorts it out.And every time I get that tight feeling after a sip or my back start aching so bad,I take a disflatel and voila,I had a fabulous day!
Could even drive my little kid home from gymnastics.
I still havent lost more weight but my little and me have decided I will loose 10 pounds overnight,just like that..lol
I am not drinking any artificial sweetners as of today.It doesnt help for the acid and it also doesnt make the swallowing easier.So I am using a little honey in my tea and let me tell you,its going down a whole lot easier.
I also made a soup with 5 oz sweetpotato and 2 carrots and some stock and it was so good that my I had to wressle my 10 year old when she just wanted to finish it.That was the 5 half cupmeals for the day.The protein thingy is still not working and I will have to work on it.
All in all a great day.
One thing,I woke up at 4:00 this morningwith the biggest thirst possible.And of course I couldnt just chug down a bottle of water...by the time the thirst was quenched,it was 6:00 am and time to get up.This is a problem and I dont really know what to do.This thirst was right into my tummy and I had to sit and sip and sip and sip.....will have to make a plan with this.
NOW THE WEIGHT MUST JUST START DROPPING TO REALLY MAKE ALL THIS WORTH IT.
Onto day 7
The surgeon stopped my blood pressure meds the day of surgery.I take my BP every day with a meter that I thought was accurate.Well,let me tell you.It is not.I had a 24 hour BP meter and the BP is high.Had to start back on meds.At the moment at half the dosage than before.Will see if this is enough.
This is a comination pill and I suppose the diuretic in it has done its work.I have lost 5 pounds in the last 2 days.
Man,I will have to find a different way to roxk the weight boat every week.Mind you,I have also cut my carbs way,way back and have been eating chicken (trying to do food protein of 80g every day) almost 3 times a day.Tomorrow I will do fish..lol.When the weight stalls again I will have a high carb eat what you want day and then I will cut them way back again.
I really plan on starting the exercise in a little more formal way tomorrow.Walk away the pounds from Leslie Samsone sounds like a great place to begin.
xxo
Now I read all these posts of women saying:"o,its so hard to get in enough calories" and I want to laugh my head off!!!!!!
It is the easiest thing in the world to get too much calories in one's quest to get enough proteins.
So you drink 2 protein powders and they are 360 calories.Then you have 1 cup of milk at 100 cals.Another cup of veg beef soup at 220 cals and look where you are already.I read of people keeping around 600 cals in liquid phase and it freaks me out as I am already over that.
I dont have a problem drinking anything.When the dr says 6 half cups of liquid something during the day as food,do you now wait 30 min before and after or do you not?then,like with me not being able to drink water,I have to drink tea and all kinds of stuff to get the fluid in.
I AM SO SCARED I WILL FAIL AT THIS.
I cannot wait to feel a little more like a human so I can just stop thinking about all this ALL THE TIME.
I really like things that are more of an exact sience...with this I just dont know what ia going on from one day to the next.
when I am "good" and eat mostly proteins and little bit of carbs but snack my food during the day to get my calories my weight stalls but when I eat 3 carb rich meals per day,dont count cals or anything for that matter my weight starts coming off much faster...until I get paranoid and think I shouldnt eat carbs and change what I do......and then I stall.
Normal,very little amounts with protein shakes just seems to work better.
Weight 111.5kg's today
The sleeve rocks even though it completely confuses me.
xxo
and...I am trying to be calm and enjoy liquids...hehehe.
I can drink to much.Will chat with the surgeon tomorrow.Why can I drink so easily when my friend thats 2 years out cant....with her it slow,slow,slow!
Am freaked out about weight loss that isnt too gr8 but its coming down.
This is a crazy emotional road i've chosen,it seems.
O yes,I went for a proper walk today.
Xxo
Since having my one day bout of acid after forgetting my nexium I started doing research in how on earth am I going to get off the nexium without suffering from acid.
This whole thing about rebound acid is really scary to me.How on earth does the stomach learn to make less acid while being blocked?
Usually I take my calcium citrate at least 4 hours before or after my nexium.Hopefully the bone density wont be affected.Will go for check up soon.
At month 6,at the latest, I am goning to wean myself off the PPI's.There is some natural herbs that will help but I am also going to trust reducing from 20mg in the morning and evening to 10mg in the morning and evening will help prevent rebound.The problem is it seems that this furry fluffy feeling I have in the back of my throat is because of some acid.
I wll start taking probiotics from today and see if that makes any difference.
The most important thing is to
1.start taking a multivitimin again
2.take the calcium citrate every second day (gives me diaree so its a laxative as well and I really need it)
3.start taking B12 sublingual to not have injections anymore
4.get vit D injection every month till the D is up
And get enough protein every day.
At th momnt I am doing the protein,almost every day,the D injection tthe calcium citrate and had B12 injections until now.The multi the dr gave me contributed to my getting hotflushes so I stopped it.Have a different one that I will start drinking tomorrow.
Geeze,I never thought this would be so regimented as far as do's and dont are concerned.
Will start taking it serious though as I want to be healthy and get thin.
xxo
Its my birthday today and I decided to buy food from a place called limetree.They make the most delicious salads and quiche and of course,carrot cake.I bought 2 salads and 2 slices of quiche for 4 of us and I had a tiny bit of each...or thought I would have.
Since this morning i have had a tummy ache like I have gastritis. (know what it feels like as I had it often while I had the band).I had a few bites and fed the rest of my food to my 11 year old that came back from camp today and was starving.Then I cut the 2 slices of cake in half and for myself half of half....and it made me feel so sick.
Had a nice long bath afterwards and then at about 22:00 I decided that it is m birthday and I am allowed to eat..got myself a little tiny 100 calorie packet of sweet chilli ryvitas,minis, and low and behold,at about 5 and have been spitting it out ever since.Just like with the band the food just seems to pop back into my mouth..I dont vomit and the food is really clean just as it was when I swallowed it.
I have realized once again that I cannot at his point eat just to eat...even if it is my birthday.Food have to be more functional and the protein thing is something I will have to get right.
Sweet stuff makes me feel horrible and i seems nothing tastes as nice as before the surgery.
Maybe if I try to get a bit more serious about exercise I will feel a bit more serious about the adaptations I have had to make around food.I am just struggling a bit with the very small portion size...like I've said before,just when I get ready to eat I am full.
Ok,this day is over and maybe my tummy feels better tomorrow.
I am weighing 234 this morning.
The weightloss have increased a lot in the last few weeks.Have not had losses like his since the initial 20.I am super happy.
A the moment I must confess I am eating very little.Hope it is enough proteins though.
I see a lot more hair everywhere but where it belongs lately..lol.What can you do about it?
Had a vit D jab and some blood tests last week.My B seems to slowly be coming down so I will take the sublinguals.D is still super low...struggling to get that up.
At the moment I am happy.I eat 2 times a day.Chicken pieces with salad or beef kebab with salad and feta or pasta with tuna (way more tuna and a tablespoon of pasta)My portion size stays the same.Half to 3/4 cup depending what it is.90 g of solid protein and I am really satisfied with wht I eat.
I still suck at the exercise.Squash twice this week and nothing else so far.maybe I should just go walk on the treadmill now.My body is like a jelly fish.And maybe I am being stupid about this to convince myself to do plastics the moment this weight is off.
Anyway,upwards and onwards.
xxo
It ia just such a new thing for me to have to focus on protein drinks,food and fluids.Before we went to church this morning I had to have a cup of tea,make a protein drink,pack some water and some mushy lunch as we were going out directly after.
I just cant wait to start eating so I can have a protein bar instead of the drink and better even,to eat 65g of protein per day.
I have 4 more days of mushy food then a few weeks of soft foods.Just the fact that I will know how much I am ingesting is so much better than guessing how many cals my liquids actually have.
Must say,I am starting to love this smaller stomach,I ate a little sweetpotato today (mushed not liquidized) and I really felt full after 3 teaspoons full.I also notice I have less restriction at night than during the day...weird!
Today I started the day fast.I wanted to have yogurt with protein powder but could only manage some as it was just to sweet....hehehe,a first ever for me,something being to sweet to eat.
Went for tea with a friend and came home only at 15:00.I made a smooth protein thingy with 4 slices of turkey lunch meat which went down well.Only came home again at 19:00 and by then I had had quite a quite a bit of water but I also had a stomach and back ache like you wouldnt believe.the back ache is high up,where my bra is a little to the left directly behind the stomach ache.
Made some liquidized,strained soup and had that.wanted a little sweetpotato liquidized and really struggled with all this.Another first for me since this surgery.I never struggled to finish even a full cup of soup before.
I think that I should eat a little more frequently as it is only liquids,and I shouldnt be on my feet so much yet.
My one incision is a bit wet and red and if you see what the scars look like on the outside it makes you realize it is not healed altogether on the inside yet.
Tomorrow,I will make time to just sit every now and then.And I will take it a little easier.
I should also start tracking my intake a little better but I am super careful at the moment and actually know exactly what I am taking in.For future reference: 100ml yogurt,half cup turkey mousse,half cup strained beef soup,sweetpotato soup made with 120g of sweetpotato and NOT ENOUGH protein.about 40g in total.The calories were about 550-600 calories for the day.I am happy with this for now.
Realizing that I didnt talk about the surgery itself much,that is what I will do today.
But first: surgery day was on the 13th of March 2012. I weighed 287 on surgery day,292 for the first week post op and I am 267.5 today.....almost 20 pounds down plus the extra I had in fluid weight after surgery.This makes the whole experience worth it....or almost.Last night I regretted putting of our road trip through the USA....I would have liked to have sampled all the different lovely foods that they show on cooking channel,and the food seems to be especially decadent in America....o well,too late now..LOL
Surgery day and day 1 after was extremely difficult for me. I was not really prepaired at all for what I experienced...even though I had the band before.But if I could survive that,any one can!
we will live and die!
As I am losing weight my life is getting better and worse.Isnt that just crazy?
How different could life have been if I was just able to get thin 15 years ago?What use is feeling like this anyway?
What I do know is I never would have allowed myself to be in the situation I am in now.Then the question of did I need to stay fat to keep myself "good" to be here comes up all the time?Which isnt useful either, I know.That I should have taken responsibility for my own life years ago is a fact though.
Mind you,my delightful youngest came in now and made me realize again that there is purpose in everything.I cannot even think what life without her would have been like.
On the upside,all this has excelerated my weightloss remarkably and I am so close to 100kg's now its unreal.It i ao atrange that I lost weight ao slowly while I was still weighing and measuring and counting carbs and cals but when I became preoccupied with life itself and didnt have the mental energy to do that anymore,the weight started dropping off.
Upwards and onwards christian soldiers!When I have lost 60 pounds I will post pics.
well,tomorrow will be my first stay in a hotel since the sleeve so we will see how I handle the eating thing.I am taking stuff like beef jerky and string cheese for snacks and a protein drink,new one that comes in sachets from WIN.25g protein in 120 calories,very low in fat and carbs.
I am so hopeful that I will have a big loss again soon.
This coming week I will start doing some weight training and I am considering getting a personal trainer for a few months...I am goingto start reformer pilates next sunday as well.
Ok,here goes self discipline over the next few days.thank goodness sweet stuff makes me feel sick at the moment.
from tomorrow I am eating only food that come with a label to tell me the exact calories in it.That way I wll be sure that I dont overshoot on calories.100 ml milk only.No string cheese.
In all my life I have never felt as powerless as right now.I have always been abl to lose weight at a faster rate than now and no matter wha I do....it is just super slow.Up the cals down the cals,exercise, no exercise,more protein less protein....nothing helps.
I am feeling very frustrated about it and it is not even like a diet I can fall off of....lol
There's been a lot of things going on in my head over the past 3 weeks.I have to come to terms with a lot of stuff.Being mindful has never being one of my strong points.The moment something gets emotionally uncomfortable,I would just retreat in my mindless world of eating.Since I cannot do that anymore I have been going through a bit of depression I think.
I have to face the fact that I just dont heal as fast as I wanted to.When I walk I still get this pain in the back...really badly.The white coating on my tongue is a nightmare for me.I struggle to swallow and hate this fluffy feeling I have in the back of my throat.It should go away at some point,I cant wait!
Being of the kind that always thinks I know better than everyone..lol..I planned on doing my protein with food only.Now I am on soft foods I thought I would do it for sure!Well,its not happening is it?I can do quarter cup of food at a time.I opened different cans of stuff (expensive stuff!) that I kind of feel obligated to eat,but it takes days to finish a can.I will start cooking clean foods from today so I can see how many calories and proteins I am really eating.the past 2 days I did a protein bar per day that is calories that I consume and then I didnt feel like food.
This is really more difficult than I thought it would be.Getting on with my life is difficult.Planning everything ahead of time is what gets to me.
My head knows it is going to get easier.My lying deceiving heart is just petrified that I will not lose weight.
so for the past week I have been exercising seriously.With that goes the weight that gets stuck even though you expect to lose load just by sweating..lol
I am learning to make peace with the slow weight loss.I srill second guess myself all the time about food but I guess I am doing fine when all is said and done.
Now I just have to keep it up,eating good proteins and fresh veggies.
xxo
First,Takingmylifebacc,of course we will lose.We just need to be patient.
Tonight the topic came up again.Move,when,where,university,school,US/UK? And without realizing what I was doing it I told everyone it was time for bed.When the kids were in bed (and the grown ups in the villa too) I decided that I felt like something nice.I had heard that people will have some peanut butter,a tablespoon full I thought.But alas,me being me that wasnt enough.
I actually got some fat free or sugarfree cool whip and scooped the frozen cool whip like ice cream in a bowl,topped it with the spoon of peanut butter, climbed into a hot bath and slowly finished it all.AND THEN I FELT AS SICK AS A DOG!In fact I still do.
This sleeve is the most amazing thing.I will either learn or I will feel terrible...and it is great!Of course I will learn,I am not unteachable or stupid...mind you a week or 2 back I posted something similar I think...ok,so I hope I will learn!LOL
Emotional eating is a terrible thing.It has ruined my life for many years.Now that I cannot eat I often feel like I am so bored and I am searching for something.I will have to start exercising a lot more to help counter these feelings.
But,the sleeve rocks.Now that all this emotional stuff will be there all the time while decisions are made and with the move (difficult thing to do,very difficult this has been our home for 10 years,we love this crazy place) I will not be able to make myself fatter just sick if I dont listen...lol.but i will learn!
Hehe,its because I want a big tasty burger to feel some pleasure from food that I hate the sleeve today.I want to eat all my stress away.
Before I often use to read about peoples problems (personal) that they found overwhelming post sleeve and thought they were making stuff up or were really some messed up people.Now since being sleeved I feel like my life has fallen apart and I am completely without coping skills at this point.
I dont want to leave Dubai at this complicated point in out life (my special needs kid is at uni here) and I want to eat.I am not saying I am eating,I want to eat.Over eating means a few bites to many at this point,thats all.I feel like I need to eat a lot of food,ice cream,chips,and more food.THE ONLY OTHER THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL AS GOOD IS WHEN I LOSE WEIGHT.
I am at 800 cals a day,exercise 30 minutes at least,drinking calsium,a little low on the water but not much.Getting the proteins doing all the right things and the scale is not moving.
Ok,so maybe I have psyco PMS at the moment.
xxo
There are 2 things I have to accept at this point.
I make these minute little portions of soft food and then,just when I start to get into it,Im full.I am physically satisfied but mentally I am freaking out.I do tend to eat the rest of it later because of the head issue.And because if I dont I would also be one of the people complaining not getting beyond 300 calories per day.
Number 2 is the not drinking after eating.This is something I will have to start practising very seriously.I am not managing it now.I feel if I dont get a little sip of something when I finish eating all the food sits high in my esophagus and I cant get it down,even if it was only 3 baby bites.
One more thing.I've had this thick white coating on my tongue and in my throat since surgery.I put myself on mycostatin thinking it was thrush.Well,it didnt help,even high dosage of it.
Yesterday the pharmasist gave me daktarin gel and it seems to help.I take a 1cm piece of gel and gargle it and keep it in my mouth for as long as possible.The one thing that seems to make the coating worse is tea and sweeterner.I cut out the milk to see if it was the milk but it didnt get better without it.
The feeling in my throat is thich and fluffy and horrible.I really hope this goes away soon.
I feel great.I lose like half a pound every day still.Should just walk more.
Today was a little more difficult for me as far as the drinking was concerned....I WANT TO EAT!
There,I've said it! Now,I will let it go!
I am constantly worried about calories.Being onw of the only people who still havent lost weight at 5 dys post op I am questioning myself seriously even though I know that is crazy!
Drinks for the day:
3 cups of clear beef soup.It has about 50 calories in each cup I think.
1 scoop isopure protein 110 calories
A small little bit of sf puding in liquids generously 70 cals
Then I had about 100 ml skim milk...dont know how much say 45 cals
And as an encore I had a mushroom liquid cup-a-soup for dinner 70 cals
Only about 30g of protein though.
That is a whole lot...almost 500 for day 5. My goodness.
Part of the issue is that I add something to all water as I have a real hard time drinking water.So I am sipping something all the time but it is not just water.
What is going to happen to me?Am I going to out eat this sleeve right from the start?How will I do when I get to eat?
I am so full of doubt and then I really struggle to understand the instructions for This pureed phase.
It says: half cup per meal
6 meals per day
30 minutes per meal
Water,broth,fat free milk,fat free gravy ( whatever that might be) PUREED POTATO AND PUTEED VEGETABLES.
Two weeks long,food must have consistency of a smooth paste or a thick liquid.add spicey or dairy slowly and in small amounts.
I am really stupid and will have to look up which veg will go down well.I will start cooking fresh though as my tumm never liked instant anything,even before.
Will also consult a friend that had the surgery the 28th of Feb. About what she ate.Lucky girl is now on stage 3 with soft solid foods.
Just hope the next week passes quickly and I can start to drive my car ( dont know when I can)
Stitches comes out next Saturday!
O well,another day another whatever..LOL
Such a lot has happened this week.My sister and her new husband came for a visit from SA and helped me get into eating small portions of real solid food.
This is great as I was in a serious stall and had zero energy before.Now I have added fiber to my diet and let me tell you it makes the world of difference.Low carb just dont do it for me.I get so constipated I want to die.Add 25g of all bran fiber and Bob's your uncle...dont need laxative anymore.
I also did a bit of REAL EMOTIONAL EATING 2 days ago.
We have just been promoted....TO THE USA.this is still a strange and super scary concept as we have always lived in very international societies and we are not sure WHAT peoples reaction to our VERY,VERY blended family will be in ........NEW JERSEY!
The eating the day we heard was crazy.will write about what we can really eat it we wanted to tonight.
Then,one more thing and I dont know if I've mentioned it.a few days after surgery I started having hot flushes like mad....will write about that later
