last night I forgot to take my nexium.at 5 I woke up with severe burning in my throat.I took the nexium but had severe stomach ache all day long.
Now I've been wondering.My dr said that the stomach will adjust the amount of acid over time.But how can it while I am taking a PPI in the morning and in the evening?It blocks acid formation,doesnt it?
Some other dr's patient dont take a PPI automatically from the beginning and a lot of them dont have the acid issues at all.
At the moment with the threat about senseless questions going so furiously I am to scared to aks any questions really...lol
Will try to research this or ask on obesityhelp.
xxxo
Today I weighed 239 and I am happy to keep losing a pound here and there as long as I keep losing.
Things will be a little less hectic from next week and then I might try to go to the gym.
Good things so far.My hip is a lot less painful some days.I still walk like a duck after I've sat down for to long but I definetly have less pain.
I often sleep at least 5 hours before waking up lately and then I will mostly be able to sleep on and off another few hours.This is such a blessing as I have been struggling with sleep for the past few years.
My clothes are much loser fitting now and people have commented that its time to get new ones.Will wait a little longer though as it doesnt make sense to buy one size smaller and then to buy again in a month.
So for now I am not obsessing wirh the scale or with the eating.We've had a house guest for the past few months and I now eat a little of whatever I cook at night.
Another great thing is the fact that I am eating a lot less lately and I am happy with it.I am trying to not snack as much and I do realize that the more often I eat,the more often I want to eat.A head thing I know.
Some days I dont really know how much protein I did but the next day I will make up for it by drinking a shake.
Well,thats me for now.Still waiting for that 5 pound drop over night...lol
Things have changed since this morning.It seems that we will be moving to the UK as the USA visa issues are to complicated for myself and oldest daughter at this point.We are. Strangely blended family,to different for the US immigration to comprehend.lol.It would hav been a great experience living in the US but I dont want to worry about a border control person with pms refusing me entry after a holiday...we know what pms does to some of us..hehehe!
At least we can start looking at the future and go to the UK to see where we will settle at the end of summer.And I can start planning my summer holiday very soon!
I will keep doing what Im doing and stop fussing over a few pounds this way or that way.Until the next psyco event!
Have only had a tiny .25 of a slice at 8 weeks out to see if I could after so many said they cant.Not had any since then.Im a good girl with this ruddy protein diet.
xxo
Hehe,its because I want a big tasty burger to feel some pleasure from food that I hate the sleeve today.I want to eat all my stress away.
Before I often use to read about peoples problems (personal) that they found overwhelming post sleeve and thought they were making stuff up or were really some messed up people.Now since being sleeved I feel like my life has fallen apart and I am completely without coping skills at this point.
I dont want to leave Dubai at this complicated point in out life (my special needs kid is at uni here) and I want to eat.I am not saying I am eating,I want to eat.Over eating means a few bites to many at this point,thats all.I feel like I need to eat a lot of food,ice cream,chips,and more food.THE ONLY OTHER THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL AS GOOD IS WHEN I LOSE WEIGHT.
I am at 800 cals a day,exercise 30 minutes at least,drinking calsium,a little low on the water but not much.Getting the proteins doing all the right things and the scale is not moving.
Ok,so maybe I have psyco PMS at the moment.
xxo
Today,for the first time I regret having this surgery.
Not in all my life of professional dieting (lol) have I ever felt so out of control about losing weight.
Nothing I do seems to break this stall,When my friend went on a crazy detox and liquids for 5 days to drop 5 pounds after a 2 week stall,I told her to relax,eat exercise and the weight will come off.Now (my surgery was 2 weeks after hers) I am in this crazy stall.the weight seems to come off and then bounces back on,over and over and over.
I have huge stress in my life with the not knowing where we are moving,leaving my child behind....for sure I dont need this weight rubbish as well.If liquids is what is takes then liquids is what we'll do.
I hate this sleeve.
Tip for newly sleeved.Listen to the wize people that says start exercising immediately.
Now that I have started I can see how much more wobbly I am than befoe.Previously when I had to exercise from day one I was muxh more toned by the time I had lost 40 pounds.My legs are especially soft and now hat I have started I dont know why I didnt do it before.
Will start doing weights this week to see if I can catch up a little.
For some reason I am sure the weight loss will start moving again as well.
xxo
Ps.for some of the comments The speed with which your food passes depends on what it is and how much fibre is in the food.That is why I am eating more fibre.Maybe salad doesnt have nutritional value but it for sure helps me not be as constipated and it gives me great pleasure.Mind you I now add other stuff like grilled veggies too as I like it and I have missed it so much.I cannot oly eat proteins.My serotonin levels goes vwry low for some stupid reason (always have) if I cut out all my carbs.so unrefined carbs like veggies seems to do the trick for me and I am a happy sleever.I will start tracking calories burned the moment I get my new BODYBUGG.MInd you will try the old one until it gets here.
If I burn 500 additional cals per day while eating 800 I will lose weight,I know this for sure.
xxo
Recently I have come to understand that I am more stubborn than most people on earth.
1 cup of food is tooo much.Repeat, a whole cup of food is too much.Even if it is 2 oz of protein and lettuce and salad veggies....it is still too much.I feel too full after I have finished it,even with a break in the middle.
So,back to half a cup or 3-4 oz depending on what it is.
I will learn.
Today was a good food day.I have decided to stop the snacks and it wasnt difficult.Now I just have to get through this evening without snacking and I will be good to go.The exercise program is also taking shape now and I am/will exercise every day.
Now for the next ten pounds.
xxo
for some reason I still cannot reply on the comments.
I usually feel "mentally uncomfortable" when I am full.Sounds crazy but full is in my head before it is in my stomach.But not when I am eating for comfort.I feel that maybe I eat faster then and the speed of my mouth outruns the speed of the head if that makes sense.
However I almost got a second helping tonight but then the pain struck and I felt aweful.
Wont be doing that any time soon again.
xxo
So I needed to do a little emotional eating tonight and decided a half cup of wholegrain/flaxseed spaggetti with green pesto and a little feta cheese whould be it and boy am I paying for it.I have pain in the lower left side of my stomach and I am foaming big time.
I just dont have a cue (hickup or sneeze) when I am full like some people do.I did hickup when it was o late though...lol
This is not nice.I should know better.I try to never eat to much and have never felt like this since surgery.
Now I am paranoid about stretching my stomach,stupid I know.Next time I will stick to my protein and veggies and have a sf ice lolly to self sooth when needed.
Life's become so complicated since I had this surgery...so many changes like moving to either the US or UK in 2 months (not knowing drives me nuts) and then my sweet old aunty died today and now I will have to decide if I am going back to South Africa for the funeral and abandon my 11 year old while she had to compete in 2 international gymnastics competitions with an injury.
The thing is I think wasnt neccessarily easier before...I just ate my way through all the problems and it did give me great comfort....now,nothing!
Anyhow,at some point I will have to find not addictive coping mechanisms.And I know I will.
This sleeve is so far the best thing thats happened to me...I would have gained another 30 pounds in the last 2,5 months if I didnt have it.
xxo
This blog has saved my life this morning.
The sleeve is seriously messing with my head.I thought I was in a looooong stall.In the mean time I have only not lost for 5 days.
The pattern with wich I lose is so different from before.I usually drop a few 100 grams every day,or most days.
Since being sleeved the weight will stand completely still for a week,sometimes a little more and then I drop about 4 pounds.But I mean completely still....not down even 100g.
Somehow my head is seriously done in by this.I just dont get use to this.My obsession with the scale is somehow more in control.It is not a matter of jumping on the scale every time I walk past it anymore.But I still get very anxious if I dont weigh every day.Cannot figure what to eat as I doubt myself so much,even when I track the food on fitday.Keep thinking maybe I had more,maybe Im not real about it...even when I weigh the food.Somehow when Im not losing I feel like I am doing something wrong even though I know Im not.
I suppose my fear that I will fail is still huge as I still feel I failed with the band as I did lose the weight but regained it.I am so resistant to believe that this will work as my big yap coudnt keep shut about the surgery and everybody knows.Maybe that is also why I havent climbed on the intense exercise band wagon yet.
Anyhoo,upwards and onwards christian soldiers....lol
so for the past week I have been exercising seriously.With that goes the weight that gets stuck even though you expect to lose load just by sweating..lol
I am learning to make peace with the slow weight loss.I srill second guess myself all the time about food but I guess I am doing fine when all is said and done.
Now I just have to keep it up,eating good proteins and fresh veggies.
xxo
when I am "good" and eat mostly proteins and little bit of carbs but snack my food during the day to get my calories my weight stalls but when I eat 3 carb rich meals per day,dont count cals or anything for that matter my weight starts coming off much faster...until I get paranoid and think I shouldnt eat carbs and change what I do......and then I stall.
Normal,very little amounts with protein shakes just seems to work better.
Weight 111.5kg's today
The sleeve rocks even though it completely confuses me.
xxo
from tomorrow I am eating only food that come with a label to tell me the exact calories in it.That way I wll be sure that I dont overshoot on calories.100 ml milk only.No string cheese.
In all my life I have never felt as powerless as right now.I have always been abl to lose weight at a faster rate than now and no matter wha I do....it is just super slow.Up the cals down the cals,exercise, no exercise,more protein less protein....nothing helps.
I am feeling very frustrated about it and it is not even like a diet I can fall off of....lol
At the moment I have to just sit down.We played squash for and hour and 15 minutes as hard as we could.From this day forward this excuse that I am tired,dont have energy,have pain has got to stop.A friend that never ever use to beat me now whips my behind.When I have played a hard game my toes are usually sore( bumping against the front of the shoe when I break suddenly..lol) and I havent had a sore toe since surgery...so exercise,here I come.
Tomorrow morning I am starting pilates classes,Monday night I've got a game lined up,Tuesday I will just do walk away the pounds,and so on and so forth.I will also start doing some light weight training as my arms are so flabby they seem to be getting bigger!Exercise might not help for the skin but it does make them thinner.
I keep wondering why I am so resistent against the exercise after the surgery.I always use to joke I am the fittest fat person on earth and yet since surgery I just dont feel like exercising.
http://www.fitday.com/fitness/FoodLog.html
I decided to put my food log in my blog and on my signature to help keep me accountable.I could do less calories by reducing milk,cheese and carbs in general.Why can I eat so much?
So my friend and myself are in a stall.She is back on liquids and I am eating more often and more from today!So for this day,no calorie counting.
Tomorrow I will start with 1000 calories every day and maybe it will help.
Xxo
Our house guests are leaving in the morning,jippeeeee!
It is super difficult for me to eat out at present.I have to eat sooo slow when I do proteins like chicken breast or beef fillet everyone is finished long before I've had 2oz of meat.
Also,I got fed up tonite and ordered a chicken wrap,its cut in 5,and I ate one.Of course, its 23:30 and I rally feel like eating....bu I wont.
So,I have 2 eating out appointments over the weekend and one movie (biggest challenge ever not to try caramel popcorn... Hehe).Thank goodness going out will be with a future sleever and a RNY 2 years out friend...we can share,eat little and not feel strange about it.
Ok,nou for some more water.It is really hot now,over 100 most days and I am not getting all the water I need.will step that and the protein shakes up from tomorrow.
Often I see posts on what happens when people take "one bite to many"....well,that has never happened to me.I can actually eat quite a lot.Usually I try not to but we've been entertaining a lot lately.Tonight after dinner I had something else to eat and for the first time I had a single hick up that I was wondering am I now full,is this it?that feeling of slight tightness in my chest and a hick-up?
It is so crazy to hear people say they cannot make 800 calories when I have to stop myself all the time or I would usually average about 1000 whr I eat what I really want to.
Then the thing of cutting carbs.I dont do more than 60 carbs on a high day but for me that is high in carbs for weight loss.When I low carbed before I had to stricktly stay under 20 for it to really work.
When I do low carb I feel a little on the depressed side.The feel good factor just disappears from my life and I start craving crisps and chocolate badly.
I am really worried that I will fail with this sleeve.I am not really dieting as I have this stange reaction of having no expectations so I will not be so disappointed.I suppose in a way after the struggle with the band it is normal to feel this but I will have to pull myself toward myself and start getting with the program and exercise and eat only the right food.
I will do this.
first,the hotel stay was great.Buffets are just difficult now as of course I wanted to eat and in fact I had half a flat bread toastedwhich I wouldnt usually do.
Anyway,it is what it is...we travel a lot and I have to get use to it.
On the 5th I was 249 pounds.I find the weight loss painfully slow.I can not understand that I lose this slow.Whenever I diet I lose a lot faster and this is like a super strict mostly low carb diet,WHY IS THE WEIGHT LOSS SO SLOW?
it drives me nuts.Having said that,I am not really exercising at all....maybe that really will make a difference.
xxo
well,tomorrow will be my first stay in a hotel since the sleeve so we will see how I handle the eating thing.I am taking stuff like beef jerky and string cheese for snacks and a protein drink,new one that comes in sachets from WIN.25g protein in 120 calories,very low in fat and carbs.
I am so hopeful that I will have a big loss again soon.
This coming week I will start doing some weight training and I am considering getting a personal trainer for a few months...I am goingto start reformer pilates next sunday as well.
Ok,here goes self discipline over the next few days.thank goodness sweet stuff makes me feel sick at the moment.
