Such a lot has happened this week.My sister and her new husband came for a visit from SA and helped me get into eating small portions of real solid food.
This is great as I was in a serious stall and had zero energy before.Now I have added fiber to my diet and let me tell you it makes the world of difference.Low carb just dont do it for me.I get so constipated I want to die.Add 25g of all bran fiber and Bob's your uncle...dont need laxative anymore.
I also did a bit of REAL EMOTIONAL EATING 2 days ago.
We have just been promoted....TO THE USA.this is still a strange and super scary concept as we have always lived in very international societies and we are not sure WHAT peoples reaction to our VERY,VERY blended family will be in ........NEW JERSEY!
The eating the day we heard was crazy.will write about what we can really eat it we wanted to tonight.
Then,one more thing and I dont know if I've mentioned it.a few days after surgery I started having hot flushes like mad....will write about that later
ok,today is the first day that I feel a little lost in this journey.
I have had a hairy furry feeling with a white coating in the back of my throat since surgery.It doesnt go away.I have been on daktarin gel and on mycostatin and it doesnt help which makes me think it is not thrush.
How do I get rid of this feeling?I want to gag and am constantly busy trying to fix this issue.It is the most aweful feeling I have ever had and I regret having this surgery if only for this.I wish I could just feel normal again.If this horrible feeling goes away I feel I will have my life back.
Help!
So I worked out if I have 2 oz of lamb 3 times today I will get 45g of protein.With one shake it will be 70g
and I will be good to go.Well,this sleeve doesnt like that much meat at all.I had 1.5oz and another 1.5oz and voila,reflux.Then I realized I had forgotten to take my nexium this morning.
Well,my old default is 3oz of sweetpotato and well,the reflux is gone and I feel ok.
You live,you learn.
I must say I am still stunned at how little I can eat.It takes a lot of getting use to.And my family is visiting next week.I will have ro figure out what to order when we eat out.At this point soup sounds safe.It is frustrating to not be able to eat but also exciting in a way.
One thing I am getting a bit paranoid about is the whole issue of calsium absorption and getting enough iron.I will have to try and find calcium citrate in different form than the huge tabs it comes in here in Dubai.Then I will have to figure out the iron thing as I am so constipated all the time now that taking iron is just not even an option.
So we are born again christians that have this little tradition to celebrate a traditional seder meal and this happened tonight at our house.
The lamb(a whole one) was cooked by a friend that is a chef and it was as soft as you could ever get lamb.I had to have some.So,I had 2oz of lamb,1 teaspoon of hummus,one teaspoon of mutabol,1 teaspoon of garlic cream.Well I took longer than the allowed time to eat it and I had to drink some tea to help soothe my belly.Now I didnt finish the hummus,motabol or garlic cream...just had a tiny liitle of each and the idea that I could eat even just 4 bites were fantastic.
There is still a quarter of the most tender lamb left and I found my little one in the kitchen scoffing some lamb.A that moment I really regretted not being able to do the same.I went and made myself a cup of tea.
xxo
Jippee,the weight is coming off.I am down 24 pounds and I am getting excited about this new way of life.
It will be very easy to do to many calories in a day.I liquidized 4oz of chicken breast with 2 tablespoons of ff creamcheese and it was 220 calories.then I had 2 oz of my homemade meatloaf which was another 150 cals.the milk in my tea per day works out to 150 cals per day.then at 4 I had a protein bar because I felt like it and well that was another 180 cals.that totals 700 plus a bonbell cheese at 50 totals 750 and I havent had dinner yet.So this is where the discipline will have to start.
1 protein drink per day at 220 cals and 50g proteins per day.Then,no more liquidized anything.I will now learn to eat solids.People says that chicken and tuna is soft foods but I will have to make it soft.
I will really have to learn how much to eat.I am going nuts as I dont think I will be able to keep to such low calories.Anyhow,lets see what happens.
There are 2 things I have to accept at this point.
I make these minute little portions of soft food and then,just when I start to get into it,Im full.I am physically satisfied but mentally I am freaking out.I do tend to eat the rest of it later because of the head issue.And because if I dont I would also be one of the people complaining not getting beyond 300 calories per day.
Number 2 is the not drinking after eating.This is something I will have to start practising very seriously.I am not managing it now.I feel if I dont get a little sip of something when I finish eating all the food sits high in my esophagus and I cant get it down,even if it was only 3 baby bites.
One more thing.I've had this thick white coating on my tongue and in my throat since surgery.I put myself on mycostatin thinking it was thrush.Well,it didnt help,even high dosage of it.
Yesterday the pharmasist gave me daktarin gel and it seems to help.I take a 1cm piece of gel and gargle it and keep it in my mouth for as long as possible.The one thing that seems to make the coating worse is tea and sweeterner.I cut out the milk to see if it was the milk but it didnt get better without it.
The feeling in my throat is thich and fluffy and horrible.I really hope this goes away soon.
I feel great.I lose like half a pound every day still.Should just walk more.
over the past few weeks I have been on a real roller coaster emosionally.
The thing is I did have a what the heck have I done moment while still in hospital but once it was done,how can that matter? I am never an eternal optimist about anything but I cannot look back to often,I just get so angry with myself for lacking the self discipline needed to eat normal.
So,I have little moments when I really want to eat...just to eat,not because I am hungry.Then I have moments when I have the pain in my back and abdomen that I am scared it will stay like this forever.Then I have moment s when I think I can drink/eat too much of the liquidized food.Then I fear the acid which I know is present as it affects my voice.
Most of all I fear failing at this,not losing the weight,eating when I shouldnt,staying fat!
BUT THEN I HAVE MOMENTS WHEN I REALLY BELIEVE THAT MY FUTURE WILL BE EASIER.That I will lose weight and be able to have fun with my 11 year old.
That everything will be ok.
I dont dwell on any one of these things for too long.They are all fleeting emosions.At the moment I am trying to be patient with not eating solids and to drink enough and to not over do it during the day.
And that is good enough for me for now.
Xxo
It ia just such a new thing for me to have to focus on protein drinks,food and fluids.Before we went to church this morning I had to have a cup of tea,make a protein drink,pack some water and some mushy lunch as we were going out directly after.
I just cant wait to start eating so I can have a protein bar instead of the drink and better even,to eat 65g of protein per day.
I have 4 more days of mushy food then a few weeks of soft foods.Just the fact that I will know how much I am ingesting is so much better than guessing how many cals my liquids actually have.
Must say,I am starting to love this smaller stomach,I ate a little sweetpotato today (mushed not liquidized) and I really felt full after 3 teaspoons full.I also notice I have less restriction at night than during the day...weird!
Realizing that I didnt talk about the surgery itself much,that is what I will do today.
But first: surgery day was on the 13th of March 2012. I weighed 287 on surgery day,292 for the first week post op and I am 267.5 today.....almost 20 pounds down plus the extra I had in fluid weight after surgery.This makes the whole experience worth it....or almost.Last night I regretted putting of our road trip through the USA....I would have liked to have sampled all the different lovely foods that they show on cooking channel,and the food seems to be especially decadent in America....o well,too late now..LOL
Surgery day and day 1 after was extremely difficult for me. I was not really prepaired at all for what I experienced...even though I had the band before.But if I could survive that,any one can!
Today I started the day fast.I wanted to have yogurt with protein powder but could only manage some as it was just to sweet....hehehe,a first ever for me,something being to sweet to eat.
Went for tea with a friend and came home only at 15:00.I made a smooth protein thingy with 4 slices of turkey lunch meat which went down well.Only came home again at 19:00 and by then I had had quite a quite a bit of water but I also had a stomach and back ache like you wouldnt believe.the back ache is high up,where my bra is a little to the left directly behind the stomach ache.
Made some liquidized,strained soup and had that.wanted a little sweetpotato liquidized and really struggled with all this.Another first for me since this surgery.I never struggled to finish even a full cup of soup before.
I think that I should eat a little more frequently as it is only liquids,and I shouldnt be on my feet so much yet.
My one incision is a bit wet and red and if you see what the scars look like on the outside it makes you realize it is not healed altogether on the inside yet.
Tomorrow,I will make time to just sit every now and then.And I will take it a little easier.
I should also start tracking my intake a little better but I am super careful at the moment and actually know exactly what I am taking in.For future reference: 100ml yogurt,half cup turkey mousse,half cup strained beef soup,sweetpotato soup made with 120g of sweetpotato and NOT ENOUGH protein.about 40g in total.The calories were about 550-600 calories for the day.I am happy with this for now.
So,what I thought was a problem might turn out to be a blessing.
I dont know how big or how small the dr made my stomach...what can I do about it at this point anyway?
The fact that I can drink so much more and with such ease might turn out to be a blessing.I think if it is difficult to drink that in the long term,people will drink less.
In summer it gets up to 50 degrees celcius ( 130 farnheit) here in Dubai and you need plenty of water to not cook in summer.
I also know that I will use the next 12 months to teach myself how to eat and apreciate less but quality foods,for the rest of my life.
In the next few weeks I will join OA and I will seek the help of a therapist if neccessary.
This will not be just another food limited low carb diet.
At the moment I am struggling to do the protein.I am still on full liquids and the yogurt,soup and protein powder (1 scoop) does take me to 600 cals or more but not to 60g of proteins per day.
Must say,eating will be better for getting the amount of protein per day.
9 oz of fish,poultry and meat or eggs per day will give you the right amount of protein,I think.
You live,you learn!I dont know how to stay in the calorie limits.I DONT KNOW WHY!
and...I am trying to be calm and enjoy liquids...hehehe.
I can drink to much.Will chat with the surgeon tomorrow.Why can I drink so easily when my friend thats 2 years out cant....with her it slow,slow,slow!
Am freaked out about weight loss that isnt too gr8 but its coming down.
This is a crazy emotional road i've chosen,it seems.
O yes,I went for a proper walk today.
Xxo
Now I read all these posts of women saying:"o,its so hard to get in enough calories" and I want to laugh my head off!!!!!!
It is the easiest thing in the world to get too much calories in one's quest to get enough proteins.
So you drink 2 protein powders and they are 360 calories.Then you have 1 cup of milk at 100 cals.Another cup of veg beef soup at 220 cals and look where you are already.I read of people keeping around 600 cals in liquid phase and it freaks me out as I am already over that.
I dont have a problem drinking anything.When the dr says 6 half cups of liquid something during the day as food,do you now wait 30 min before and after or do you not?then,like with me not being able to drink water,I have to drink tea and all kinds of stuff to get the fluid in.
I AM SO SCARED I WILL FAIL AT THIS.
I cannot wait to feel a little more like a human so I can just stop thinking about all this ALL THE TIME.
I really like things that are more of an exact sience...with this I just dont know what ia going on from one day to the next.
Ok,so it is 22:00 now and I realize I am and have been all over the place trying to diagnose and fix the way I feel.
1.I have acid even though I am taking a PPI.
2.My brearhing is difficult most of the time even though it is not like asthma..just breathing with difficulty.I dont lie down or rest during the day and slept sitting up for max 5 hours a night before.
3.I know the tightness around my ribcage and pain in the back can be because of the acid.My left incision is slightly painful tonight.
4. Protein drink does not sit well at all....gas,pain,bloating.
5.the stomach is RUMBLING LIKE NEVER BEFORE especially on the left side where the left incision and drain was.
But all this can be normal.It is all the darn lucky people that says I dont even know I had the surgery,I went back to work day 5 that makes me so paranoid...LOL
With the band I had
1. The acid
2. The back pain
3. The rumbling tummy
4. The breathing issue. ..but only briefly
So I suppose this is just normal healing and a tummy that is angry and tryinq to cope with what I did to it.
And I will try to relax and endure this for a few more days....because this will get better very soon.Ok,upwards and onwards Christian soldiers.Tomorrow is another day.
xxo
Ps.a warm bath helps every time....I have been doing this at least 2 or 3 times every day...it helps for all the symptoms but the acid,which will be gone before I know it..hehehe!
One last thing for this day.
I follow a what have you eaten today threat on another forum and I must confess when I see the following I think they are lying....I am not saying they are lying,I am saying I think they are lying.I hope,hehe.
B: fatfree actimel.
L: 1 saltine cracker and 1teaspoon phili
D: beef-the size of a grape and quarter of a very small baby potato
This is at 3 months out and a sample only...not directed at a person,just an eg.
This is when I freak out at how little one can really eat and how on earth I am going to get mymind around that.I never had that kind of restriction with the band.Mostly it was all or nothing,like everything else in my life..lol
xxo
So,I actually slept quite well for about 5 hours,which is a lot for me anyway.Woke up feeling not to well.Nothing specific but nevertheless....I have a little bit of pain and tightness in my stomach area all the time.
Now,I think I may have been a bit busy yesterday.I went for a walk with my restless friends(who said we would just walk a block and then kept on saying there is a bench just around the corner) and climbed the stairs of my house too many times.
The PPI I am taking does not last 24 hours.I am taking it in the morning as that is when they started me on it in hospital but will have to change it to the evening at some point.I wake up in the morning with a very terrible taste in the mouth and breathing as if I have reflux.
The drinking was ok.I need protein and I can feel it.But I cannot take anything that is even slightly acidic as it causes acid so even the Isopure premade drinks are out.I am not sure which protein to take.I read about unjury and nectar and wish that I was in the US or UK ,we just do not have the products to make life easier at the moment.Like the sugarfree popcicles.I am even trying to find a non acid forming sugar free drink that I can make ice cubes with but alas...havent found any yet.The sugarfree jello did give me heartburn when I had the band and I am scared to eat that,even though that would be so great to just pretend to be eating.
Today I had 2 big cups of tea (my friend make me these big cups that have to be reheated all the time as they cool down way to fast to finish...LOL) 2 cups of chicken broth mixed with a lot of water, a actual popcicle with 12 carbs,high I know but I really needed something else and now I am busy drinking a protein drink with another 8 carbs.The total volume of drinks is about 1200ml (40 ounces I think)but I will try to do more for the day as there is quite a few hours left.
We went to the mall to see if I could find a protein drink.I found a protein shot called six star pro nutrition energy shot but unfortunately it had caffeine in it,and quite a bit too.I will drink this somewhere in the future as I actually bought a few of them.
So all in all a frustrating day as I really would like some sugarfree popcicles,and some protein drink that would go down well and something different to drink.Looking at the dr's program I am day 5 tomorrow and am allowed to go onto liquids from clear liquids and at the bottom it says "puree vegetables,puree potato and low fat labneh" .This makes me believe I can start having soups tomorrow.For now I will still do soups that do not have solids but like mushroom soup seems to be fine.
Now,as far as the weights concerned I have decided to just keep saying I expect a BIG loss at some point.Seeing as I am not allowed to obsess about the scale I started using some ketostix I had in the house and man,no low carb diet have ever given me the amount of ketones in my urine the way I have now....and that is exciting (not obsessing, am I?lol)
I expect this week to be a lot better and I expect to feel a lot better.See,the power of positive thinking.
xxo
In 2004 I had the lapband done and suffered with it for 7 years before I had it removed.I lost weight gained weight,found with therapy what I thought was normal...lost that again and regained it all back.
After having the band out in 2011 it took a while to get brave enough to do the sleeve.With the bad experience I had with the band I never really thought I would actually do the sleeve.
The thing was that diet and not dieting took up all my mental energy for way too long.I have been thoroughly stuck for the past few years.It was just time to get unstuck and the sleeve seemed to be the only to do it.
The surgery was done on the 13th of March and today is the 17th,day 3 after surgery.
Today I have been drinking tea with milk,chicken broth,consomme,yakult light and hot water.It all goes down great.The only thing I cannot drink is any kind of juice.It falls hard into my stomache and I realized that it makes acid as my chest tightens and I struggle for a while to get it to open every time I had some.I must confess the yakult (drinking yogurt) did the same just now...maybe I will just give this a pass for another day or two.
The only Thing I am not sure about today is the headache that keeps coming back every 6 hours.I am drinking enough,have slept enough not done too much today....just not sure why Im getting this terrible headache.
O,one more thing.Every time the dr stops my blood pressure meds before surgery I come out of the hospital at least 5kg's heavier...10 pounds...(the tablet have a very powerful diuretic in it) And this time is no different.My weight is not even back to what it was before surgery so I have to be patient and wait until I can start drinking it again,which seems to be a week after surgery.
This sleeve is really going to be a prosess of changing my habits and make me more patient...as I have decided to learn to go with the flow and to not sweat the small stuff so much anymore.
Cant wait to see what the next few days bring.
xxo
I am doing this blog so that when newly sleeved patients ask me questions some time in the future when I have forgotten all the details,I can use this as a reference.
Us humans have the amazing ability to remember things,lets say in a more positive way,rather than the way they actually happened.I have found this a few times this week when asking some questions.Somehow we either make things worse than they were or so much easier/better than they were.The drama queens make them worse and the "can do's" makes everything seem so much easier/better than they were.
This will be a true reflexion of what I experienced and experience as time goes by.Another thing that I will try to do is update every now and then....long after the prosess of losing the weight is over...also so that people who is doing research can see how Im doing years into the future...good intentions right?LOL
Having surgery is always hard for me.Either the aneasthetics makes me nauseas or the pain meds does.I had pethidine when I came out of surgery and that caused some of the most agonizing moments of theday...the dry heaving was terrible.Moment number one when all I wanted was to undo what I've done to myself...and I couldnt.The rest of that day and night passed like a nightmare..but it passed.
The next morning at 11 they took me to the x-ray dept for the fluro leak test.Number two moment I wanted to just go back a few days....and couldnt.It was just one big swallow of fluro (unbelievably bitter) that I had to take..and it fell like a lump of clay going down a few centimetres down my throat and got stuck....they kept on saying swallow,swallow,swallow....and the next moment some of it just came back up.The radiologist then said to wait as it was delayed...whatever that meant.I waited for 15 minutes and had to go back for another x-ray....we repeated that about 3 times till they said,yes,its moving....you can go.So result: delayed but normal,again,who knows what that meant.
So now they told me to start sipping....and the nightmare started.I was very nauseous since surgery but the drinking just made it worse.the pain was crazy whenever I tried to swallow anything.And that is the way day 2 passed as well.
At this point I started thinking that this is it...as good as its going to get because this dr cut off too much of my stomach or I am one of the unlucky people with some crazy complication and my life was ruined...hehehe!It is really scary when things just dont live up to ones expectations and you dont know if the way things are happening is exceptable for where you are at that moment.And no one seems to be clear about things at all.
I was discharged on day 3 thinking my life is over...and battled all day to swallow even a few sips of hot water.
And then,in themiddle of the night,after I slept for a few hours,everything changed.All of a sudden I could swallow and drink.The pain disappeared and I could drink.
Today was a little more difficult for me as far as the drinking was concerned....I WANT TO EAT!
There,I've said it! Now,I will let it go!
I am constantly worried about calories.Being onw of the only people who still havent lost weight at 5 dys post op I am questioning myself seriously even though I know that is crazy!
Drinks for the day:
3 cups of clear beef soup.It has about 50 calories in each cup I think.
1 scoop isopure protein 110 calories
A small little bit of sf puding in liquids generously 70 cals
Then I had about 100 ml skim milk...dont know how much say 45 cals
And as an encore I had a mushroom liquid cup-a-soup for dinner 70 cals
Only about 30g of protein though.
That is a whole lot...almost 500 for day 5. My goodness.
Part of the issue is that I add something to all water as I have a real hard time drinking water.So I am sipping something all the time but it is not just water.
What is going to happen to me?Am I going to out eat this sleeve right from the start?How will I do when I get to eat?
I am so full of doubt and then I really struggle to understand the instructions for This pureed phase.
It says: half cup per meal
6 meals per day
30 minutes per meal
Water,broth,fat free milk,fat free gravy ( whatever that might be) PUREED POTATO AND PUTEED VEGETABLES.
Two weeks long,food must have consistency of a smooth paste or a thick liquid.add spicey or dairy slowly and in small amounts.
I am really stupid and will have to look up which veg will go down well.I will start cooking fresh though as my tumm never liked instant anything,even before.
Will also consult a friend that had the surgery the 28th of Feb. About what she ate.Lucky girl is now on stage 3 with soft solid foods.
Just hope the next week passes quickly and I can start to drive my car ( dont know when I can)
Stitches comes out next Saturday!
O well,another day another whatever..LOL
there are these interesting topics with a variety of opinions and recently this has been one of them.
Why shouldnt we eat and drink at the same time.
again.This is a reminder to self,should I need it somewhere in the future,and I usually do!
Everything in life gets old.We get use to changes and we adapt and we move on.That is the nature of the human being.Which is a good thong too.But too often we at that point forget.Forget what we are suppose to remember...lol
I experienced this with the band.Strict diet to lose the weight.Then the surgery,the pain,the heartburn,the feflux the vomiting...it got old.And became part of the new habits. In that I did what was comfortable.Added some carbs,added some sugar and started eating WAY to often.
Before I knew I was back where I started.
Why shouldnt we eat and drink.Well,just as we should eat solid protein first,ALWAYS AND FOREVER,we shouldnt liquify food to empty our stomachs faster.It seems as simple as that to me.Do you have some people that will be super self controlled for the rest of their lives to track their food,to only eat 3 times a day?Well,maybe,but most of us have a problem with self control as far as food's concerned and is why we got fat in the first place.
If my stomach is empty I feel like eating.Part of my old habits I suppose but This is me.The longer it stays full the longer I last between meals.
Now,will I be able to eat normal foods when I am in maintainance.I believe so.I believe that small portions,controlled carbs,not too much sugar,and only 3 meals a day,with maybe 2 healthy snacks might keep me at my goal.
However,should I not eat proteins first,I will not feel full quicker,I will be able to eat more and I will be able to gain more weight.And should one start flushing your food,you will not stay full,you will start eating more often and you will gain even more weight.Even now,when I eat protein and a carb my capacity is bigger.Dont know why,it just is.
At the end of the day I am way more concerned about the habits I have to somehow get deep into my thick skull now to be able to live a thin life FOREVER,than what I am about losing weight.
Do I eat food that is considered wrong to others,even now?Well,when I look on OH at the what have you eaten today threat I know I cannot post there.It will give them apoplexy.My habits might still seem atrocious to some.Here is a week day example and a weekend example.
Weekday:Tea with lots of lf milk for breakfast.Lunch is now usually protein pancake with added fibre and chia seeds with sf syrup.And at 5 I eat a good 30 to 50 pods of edamame beans.Dinner is usually fish or chicken with a tablespoon of LC veggies.Then I have up to 3 sf popcicles after dinner.I still feel like snacking at night which is a very bad habit but have tried to focus it.I really have a breakout from this only once a month or so,which would mean a Weight watchers packet of tortilla chips.
Now,this weekend.Breakfast coffee with milk.Lunch late (16:00) chicken snitchel (breaded) with mushroom sauce and slice of cheese with onion rings.Of the whole plate of food I ate 1/4. Took it home and did the same for supper.That was friday which is our sunday.Then yesterday I had coffee for breakfast and chicken and beef fajita for very late lunch (17:30) at Hardrock cafe.Ate about half of the protein and half a scoop sour cream with half a scoop of guacamole.That was bad as at 21:00 I ate 1/4 or a burger patty that my kid brought home from her meal.
This is bad but it is what fits in with my life and that is not going to change.We are normal people,with a crazy routine and I am the only one in my house that would ever over eat.No one else have a problem with food.They eat a little and then they are finished.I am trying to start fitting my eating into my lifestyle which I cannot change at this time as it is not only me involved.
Obviously that wasnt good enough as my weight is up a pound this morning and I've been wanting food since my eyes have opened.So what could I have done differently?For one,not skip meals because I know I am going out to eat.two,not eaten that burger thingy as I just wanted it when I noticed it.Meaning,no take away boxes for the kids anymore.They dont eat it anyway.And I just didnt drink enough water both days.But would I have chosen different food if I could?I dont think so.It is normal to eat nice food every now and then.Do I do this all the time?Absolutely not!Did I really enjoy going out?A lot!Did I drink when I ate?I never do.
I might change my mind about all of is in future but for now.This is part of me learning what works and what will not work.I am going on a holiday in a hotel next week and will not gain.I will apply my rules to myself and will post how it went.This is in prep for a long hotel stay in December,which is a summer holiday for us.And I am scared of being overwhelmed by buffets every day.Thank goodness I seemed to have lost my sweet tooth altogether.
The long term success of this sleeve and the fact that I already feel normal again,am over the whole surgery bit and live a completely normal life now makes me realize even more how important ALWAYS BEING MINDFUL of what,how and most important,how often I eat has become.
To be satisfied with a little bit of food.
To drink enough water.
To not snack in between.
To not feel deprived.
To love healthy food.
To be like a skinny person and have a balance.
This is what I would like my life to be like.
When people talk about crossover addiction we all think booze right?
Well 2.5 months after my surgery,while having stress that topped anything I've had in the past 10 years,I started smoking again.
I have stopped smoking.In order to run off the rest of the pounds I've had to quit.
Of course I am eating like a horse now,but it is just a day or 2 then that is over too,and I will not post weight for a while.I give myself 2 weeks,one to gain little because I am eating rubbish and one to lose it again.
The only bummer is I seemed to have pulled a muscle somewhere around where the hamstring attaches to the butt muscle or something like that.I've tried jogging every few hours to reliev the stress and somehow hurt the muscle.So I will stand plank and do sit ups and v-sits if I can.
I have been very angry with myself for getting myself caught up in the smoking as it is super hard to not eat wayyyyyy too much when you quit.So,I kept on trying to lose fast so I could get to goal and then quit but that jut caused me more stress,I needed to quit now.
So,this is me for now.When I am over the crazy eating to stop from smoking I will post again.
O,and FYI I can eat so much more than I ever thought.No pain,no discomfort,nothing!Will have to mak myself a 20 galon can of tea and drink that for th rest of this day!
First I just want to say that my silly Ipad does not allw me to comment on the comments...I will sort this out as I really want to be able to thank evdryone for the encouragement!
As for today.2 days ago I changed my PPI to Nexium as I know it works for me....and it does!I also got some disflatel ( like gasX) and one Tumm per day,cut into tiny pieces,Every time I get that slighty hot feeling I take a tiny little piece of the tumm and well,it sorts it out.And every time I get that tight feeling after a sip or my back start aching so bad,I take a disflatel and voila,I had a fabulous day!
Could even drive my little kid home from gymnastics.
I still havent lost more weight but my little and me have decided I will loose 10 pounds overnight,just like that..lol
I am not drinking any artificial sweetners as of today.It doesnt help for the acid and it also doesnt make the swallowing easier.So I am using a little honey in my tea and let me tell you,its going down a whole lot easier.
I also made a soup with 5 oz sweetpotato and 2 carrots and some stock and it was so good that my I had to wressle my 10 year old when she just wanted to finish it.That was the 5 half cupmeals for the day.The protein thingy is still not working and I will have to work on it.
All in all a great day.
One thing,I woke up at 4:00 this morningwith the biggest thirst possible.And of course I couldnt just chug down a bottle of water...by the time the thirst was quenched,it was 6:00 am and time to get up.This is a problem and I dont really know what to do.This thirst was right into my tummy and I had to sit and sip and sip and sip.....will have to make a plan with this.
NOW THE WEIGHT MUST JUST START DROPPING TO REALLY MAKE ALL THIS WORTH IT.
Onto day 7
this week,in prep for our looooong weekend in a hotel,I started adding a bit of carbs to my diet again.
Am only on about 60 now but boy does it make a difference.Not a positive one either...lol
The bags under my eyes are back,I am sluggish and dont feel like exercising.My weight is up 2 pounds whixh I know is water as my cals were still 800.But it had to be done now.
It is not unhealthy carbs either but about 30 more than usual.Edamame beans for one.And more tea with milk.Well,that seems to account for most eccept the breaded (light) chicken I had twice which would be a lot of the carbs I suppose.
At the hotel I will not be able to stay carb less,I know that.I do not eat eggs (just dont sit right in my tum) but add protein powder to it and fibre and it works.I want to be able to relax and not make an issue out of the eating this coming week.Just be for a few days but I dont want to get back 5 pounds heavier.I not be taking a scale and maybe the hotel will not have one.
I dont know why I am so afraid of this holiday.I have done so well on all the others but for some reason tis has been bugging me a lot.Maybe because my food choices when eating out recently wasnt the greatest.And maybe because I know it.And maybe because sometimes I feel like not making great choices ALL the time.But I will just have to pull myself toward myself and get on with it.And maybe going to the gym when Im there is a good idea to just burn some cals before flopping down for the day!
And maybe it is because I want to lose as much as possible before the big one in December when all the critical family will see me.Who knows!
But I want to enjoy getting away from it all and I want to feel in control,something I havent ever felt faced with buffets before the sleeve.
So taking some protein powder along is a good idea.I might even be able to ask the chef to make me some pancakes as I really love them and they keep me full for hours and hours.And some edamame to snack on while everyone else eats rubbish.
I now fit properly into a size 16 and even bought a new bathing suite.
Anyway,tmorrow I will read this again and remind myself of all the good things about the sleeve.And the fact that no matter what,it is a good fight I am fighting here.
Today we went back to playing squash.I actually whipped the ladies I played with and couldnt walk the rest of the day..lol
The stomach feels a little better.Still sensitive but not aching like yesterday...I know it is getting better.Am eating quite carefully at the moment.
