So here we are on our way for another weekend away at the beach.At the moment I have a bad cold and flu.Didnt take any meds until just now.
I got some loritadine with pseudo noreffedrine (or something like that) Wasnt sure what it would do to my tummy and an hour and a half later I know it still doesnt like meds.Will take some nose spray and panadols from now on as I dont like this full swollen feeling I have on my tum now.
The fabulous thing is I HAVE LOST MY APPETITE now for aver a week.I think for the first time ever.After the sleeve I never once didnt feel like earing,now I just cannot even look at food.The bad thing is for the first time I am not getting enough protein and seeing as my hair is still falling out at 8 months,this is a bit of a worry.
Because I have severe bathroom issues since the sleeve my main focus is protein with ispagulla husk and vitamins as I am not absorbing the vits very well at all.When some labs looks ok,others drop.After reading some newish studies on iron deficiency 3 years out,I am very concerned about this.Iron supplements causes constipation for me and I cannot take it at all as an addition.Now,trying to eat enough food with enough iron seems quite impossible at the moment.When I eat enough iron rich veggies,I cant get enough protein.When I add the fibre supplement,it keeps me full for hours and hours and cannot eat enough of anything.
We dont find fibre gummies here and to import it I will have to permission from the ministry.Which I will tackle next week as why cant I just order it online and import it?There is a list of banned medications as long as life itself and I will have to check and see if fibre gummies is on the list...lol
I sometimes dont think people in the US realize how lucky they are to have all the resources that they do.Life is so much harder without some things.
At least the hotel food sucks so badly (really bad food for a 5 star) that I wont be tempted to eat too much.What is a challenge for me is the pina quiladas that I like way too much.Dont like other cocktails so am not tempted but this place makes a mean PQ.And the weather is stunning.Hot,but not too hot,clear skies!
This morning my weight was 188.Slow now,but at least coming down all the time.
I also finally arranged to work out with the personal trainer from monday next week as the holiday is around the corner and I am still like jelly!Hope I can at least tone some in the next 6 weeks.
Sometimes I do worry about the long term problems I see people have with the sleeve.Many have iron issues and others have GERD.I pray that the Lord have mercy on me as I dont know if my very expensive private expat medical insuarance will ever pay for anything related to the surgery.It is not always non compliance that causes complications sometimes its just bad luck.But it surely seems like a very fine balancing act to get enough protein,firbre and the correct amount of every vitamin we need.I think maybe drinking a protein shake every day forever might help some of the issues but not all of it.And not ever eating the food that I know will cause reflux (lots of experience with this and food does make a huge difference even though some people will not admit it)
Ok,long update.But quite necessary to see I have to go and get those protein pancakes with fibre that I made for breakfast (its almost dinner time here) and eat them.It feels somewhat aurreal to me to have to force myself to eat.Wish it could stay like this until goal!
when I arrived 2 days ago in SA I weighed 227.My folks live in a retriement village and this year my mom cant walk a lot at all.She needs a knee replacement.This is a tough one.I can see since she's stopped exercising she has gained weight.The thing that I thought would help keep me on track is exercise.But we will do a lot of sitting down just being with them.lol
Food is a nightmare.It is winter and I cannot figure out how not to constantly feel like something warm when it is cold.The food they eat is so different.Lots of carbs (my dad looks like a skeleton) The one thing I can do with them is take then to coffee shops and eating out.Salads seems like an alien thing in the cold.Soups are loaded with calories,low fat cappucino is unheard of ( we only have full fat milk madam!).I have eaten chicken 4 times in 2 days and well I will keep figuring this out.
On the emosional eating side...mmm...well,my sweet cousin that is the same age than me (is like my sister) is in ICU after a fall with very bad brain oedema and brain heamorage.I am so sad as she seems to just have the worse of luck in the world.In 18 months she got breast cancer ( in limf) before she could have chemo she had a bloodclot in her lung,the found she has Protein S deficeincy,she has kidney failure,her mom died last month and now this.She had the old JIB bypass surgery and I am convinced that this has been the cause of most of her medical issues.She has been sick with fever of unknown origin for 4 years now.AND OF COURSE I WANT TO EAT.And I know this will not help anyone or anything but I have always been a comfort eater.Tried a few nachos with guacamole and sourcream last night when out and I felt dog tired afterwards.This is just so crazy as yes it is carbs but why the tiredness?
Today we have a BBQ which should be fine as there's lots of meat.
Lets see how it goes!
I have started with the 5 day pouch test today.
It is just so frustrating to me that my weight have stopped again where it have always stopped...just above 200 pounds.I am not cheating.I am exercising to the point of exhaustion.
But I will get under 200 even if I ahve to not eat for the next 2 weeks!
Today I weighed 173 pounds.
At the moment I think my proteins are too low but its just because Ive been too busy to think of food.
Ive also added carbs back into my food but that means 3 french fries or a fishcake that has some potato in it.Or one home made South African rusk with my morning coffee.
When you eat on the run or when you are staying at someone elses house you sometimes just have to go with the flow or stay without food.
On sunday we are going to Cape Town for Christmas and new year and I will start doing one protein shake per day just to not bottom out with the proteins.
At 9,5 months out I think that if I was eating too much or stuff that was very wrong I might have started gaining.It seems to me trying to find that balance is really important and whereas a lot of people stay super low carb or very in control about what they eat,I want to believe that a balance might just do it for me for now.and this do seem to be a day by day process,for the rest of my life.
there are these interesting topics with a variety of opinions and recently this has been one of them.
Why shouldnt we eat and drink at the same time.
again.This is a reminder to self,should I need it somewhere in the future,and I usually do!
Everything in life gets old.We get use to changes and we adapt and we move on.That is the nature of the human being.Which is a good thong too.But too often we at that point forget.Forget what we are suppose to remember...lol
I experienced this with the band.Strict diet to lose the weight.Then the surgery,the pain,the heartburn,the feflux the vomiting...it got old.And became part of the new habits. In that I did what was comfortable.Added some carbs,added some sugar and started eating WAY to often.
Before I knew I was back where I started.
Why shouldnt we eat and drink.Well,just as we should eat solid protein first,ALWAYS AND FOREVER,we shouldnt liquify food to empty our stomachs faster.It seems as simple as that to me.Do you have some people that will be super self controlled for the rest of their lives to track their food,to only eat 3 times a day?Well,maybe,but most of us have a problem with self control as far as food's concerned and is why we got fat in the first place.
If my stomach is empty I feel like eating.Part of my old habits I suppose but This is me.The longer it stays full the longer I last between meals.
Now,will I be able to eat normal foods when I am in maintainance.I believe so.I believe that small portions,controlled carbs,not too much sugar,and only 3 meals a day,with maybe 2 healthy snacks might keep me at my goal.
However,should I not eat proteins first,I will not feel full quicker,I will be able to eat more and I will be able to gain more weight.And should one start flushing your food,you will not stay full,you will start eating more often and you will gain even more weight.Even now,when I eat protein and a carb my capacity is bigger.Dont know why,it just is.
At the end of the day I am way more concerned about the habits I have to somehow get deep into my thick skull now to be able to live a thin life FOREVER,than what I am about losing weight.
Do I eat food that is considered wrong to others,even now?Well,when I look on OH at the what have you eaten today threat I know I cannot post there.It will give them apoplexy.My habits might still seem atrocious to some.Here is a week day example and a weekend example.
Weekday:Tea with lots of lf milk for breakfast.Lunch is now usually protein pancake with added fibre and chia seeds with sf syrup.And at 5 I eat a good 30 to 50 pods of edamame beans.Dinner is usually fish or chicken with a tablespoon of LC veggies.Then I have up to 3 sf popcicles after dinner.I still feel like snacking at night which is a very bad habit but have tried to focus it.I really have a breakout from this only once a month or so,which would mean a Weight watchers packet of tortilla chips.
Now,this weekend.Breakfast coffee with milk.Lunch late (16:00) chicken snitchel (breaded) with mushroom sauce and slice of cheese with onion rings.Of the whole plate of food I ate 1/4. Took it home and did the same for supper.That was friday which is our sunday.Then yesterday I had coffee for breakfast and chicken and beef fajita for very late lunch (17:30) at Hardrock cafe.Ate about half of the protein and half a scoop sour cream with half a scoop of guacamole.That was bad as at 21:00 I ate 1/4 or a burger patty that my kid brought home from her meal.
This is bad but it is what fits in with my life and that is not going to change.We are normal people,with a crazy routine and I am the only one in my house that would ever over eat.No one else have a problem with food.They eat a little and then they are finished.I am trying to start fitting my eating into my lifestyle which I cannot change at this time as it is not only me involved.
Obviously that wasnt good enough as my weight is up a pound this morning and I've been wanting food since my eyes have opened.So what could I have done differently?For one,not skip meals because I know I am going out to eat.two,not eaten that burger thingy as I just wanted it when I noticed it.Meaning,no take away boxes for the kids anymore.They dont eat it anyway.And I just didnt drink enough water both days.But would I have chosen different food if I could?I dont think so.It is normal to eat nice food every now and then.Do I do this all the time?Absolutely not!Did I really enjoy going out?A lot!Did I drink when I ate?I never do.
I might change my mind about all of is in future but for now.This is part of me learning what works and what will not work.I am going on a holiday in a hotel next week and will not gain.I will apply my rules to myself and will post how it went.This is in prep for a long hotel stay in December,which is a summer holiday for us.And I am scared of being overwhelmed by buffets every day.Thank goodness I seemed to have lost my sweet tooth altogether.
The long term success of this sleeve and the fact that I already feel normal again,am over the whole surgery bit and live a completely normal life now makes me realize even more how important ALWAYS BEING MINDFUL of what,how and most important,how often I eat has become.
To be satisfied with a little bit of food.
To drink enough water.
To not snack in between.
To not feel deprived.
To love healthy food.
To be like a skinny person and have a balance.
This is what I would like my life to be like.
As I cannot comment while on the Ipad (dont know why) I thought to write about it.
I honestly hope it is not my galbladder.Before my sugery I decided that as I am so scared of surgery,I will have my galbladder out at the same time as sleeve.When I went fo galbladder sonar I told the radiologist to find a stone...just even a 2mm stone pleaseeeeee!He said he would.He spend such a long time doing an xray and doing a sonar and searching for something wrong with my galladder.then they did a functional galbladder test where you have to go and eat high fat food,wait half hour and then do test for when the galbladder start working....well mine took almost 2 hours before it started and yet he didnt think it was delayed.Just slow but normal.No stones.the surgeon came to look an said hey dont like taking out such healthy organs.At That I backed off...he said 60 persent stays healthy only 40 persent gets removed...I asked him what if I am one of the 40% and he said but what if you are one of the 60%.
I am not planning on another sugery before I leave this country.I only have 3 months left of end of year issues at school,gymnastics competitions for my daughter and a trip to the USA to see where we are moving as i've never been there...and a Month holiday in South Africa to see my folks...moving from one country to another takes some planning and dont need the stress of surgery as well.(and as it is the company has complicated issues with the possibility of a move to the UK instead of the US but we think living in America will be nicer)
So no,it is not my galbladder.I have gastritis or something that will clear up tomorrow after I have played squash for the first time after sugery....lol.I am on super soft to mushy foods to help the stomach recover.
xxo
today I am 232 pounds.
I have realized that I am gerting closer to half way than I ever thought possible.All in all I am much more realistic in my expectations.
With the band I got to just under 200...198 to be exact.And I didnt have a vision of losing it all.I just couldnt see it happening,and because of that,it didnt.
This time I will do what ever I have to, to lose it all.I will not obsess as much as I used to.I will not count every calorie to the point of going insane,I will not cut fat and carbs and every little pleasure out of my life ro the point where there is no point to it all.
I will adjust and readjust what and how much I eat all the time along this journey.When my weightloss slows down I will exercise more and eat cleaner.I will always do the protein as the primary food on my plate.When I dish up a teaspoon of chinese fried rice my housekeeper made,it is just to satisfy the mind...I dont even touch it but should I have wanted it,I might have.or not.Good choices I have to make at the moment I am confronted with the choice,not as a all inclusive rule,but a momentary choice.
Thin people have to make those choices all the time.Before they eat,they have to make a choice about what they will eat,how much they will eat.That is how I want to live my life after the weight loss,as a thin thinking person.
Of course I will have "momentary lapses of reason" and that is ok.To get back on track with the next meal is just par for the course.
I love my sleeve.Having said all this...I am losing quite fast at the moment.Easy to be positive when things are going great..lol
Tip for newly sleeved.Listen to the wize people that says start exercising immediately.
Now that I have started I can see how much more wobbly I am than befoe.Previously when I had to exercise from day one I was muxh more toned by the time I had lost 40 pounds.My legs are especially soft and now hat I have started I dont know why I didnt do it before.
Will start doing weights this week to see if I can catch up a little.
For some reason I am sure the weight loss will start moving again as well.
xxo
Ps.for some of the comments The speed with which your food passes depends on what it is and how much fibre is in the food.That is why I am eating more fibre.Maybe salad doesnt have nutritional value but it for sure helps me not be as constipated and it gives me great pleasure.Mind you I now add other stuff like grilled veggies too as I like it and I have missed it so much.I cannot oly eat proteins.My serotonin levels goes vwry low for some stupid reason (always have) if I cut out all my carbs.so unrefined carbs like veggies seems to do the trick for me and I am a happy sleever.I will start tracking calories burned the moment I get my new BODYBUGG.MInd you will try the old one until it gets here.
If I burn 500 additional cals per day while eating 800 I will lose weight,I know this for sure.
xxo
Somehow I struggle to get motivated to do exercise.So I do what I can at the moment.We played an hour of squash an I still love this more than any other exercise.
Today I was 181.2 pounds.
The holiday starts next tuesday when we fly home.I am super excited as my family havent seen me since July and I have lost a lot since then.now I weigh less than both my mommy and my sister and they dont like this much at all.Will not talk much about weight loss and try to put the focus on them (in July I tried to put them on diet...lol)
The kind of foods I eat changes about every 2 weeks.It seems I get something I really enjoy,eat it almost every day for 2 weeks and then get tired and move to something different.I should just list the old favourites so I can start cooking something different that I like every day.It seems like I forget what I use to eat and liked very quickly..lolIt looks like someone else might be using your account
To help you—and only you—get back into altadubai@hotmail.com, we need to verify that it's yours.
I will take some protein shake for pancakes and some syrup with on holiday.Thank goodness Woolies have some great pre prepared protein that has no added carbs like chicken,meatballs,little kebab scewers ect ect.I will live on it and the abundance of great seafood.
I now wear a size 12 top and 14 bottom.It also seems that I will end up smaller than a 12 which I find unbelievable.
At the moment I have become quite shy and am way to easily embarrassed when people make a big fuss about my weight loss.And boy,some people have no end and selective amnesia,or they just dont really see me as week after week at church the same people act so surprized about my size and make a scene infront of others.But I shouldnt complain,people are just people.I do avoid some social situations sometimes as a lot of my very overweight friends are so uncomfortable (shame,they act guilty and start talking about their weight and plan when they will diet) that it makes me sad for them.
I use to be very outspoken and critical of people that said they'd made new friends and left behind old ones after surgery.The old friends were the ones that loved you and cared about you when you were fat right?But I am starting to understand this now a little better.How long do I expose myself to people that are not spontaneous in my company anymore?How long do I act as if their comments about living long for their kids so they will never do this surgery (they are overweight,joint issues,back ache,high blood pressure ect ect..how wiil they live longer?) dont slightly annoy me?How long do I have to make jokes at my own expense (ah,dont worry I am thin now but when I lift my arm my batwing knocks me unconcious..hehe,not so funny anymore)(ugg,its true,I need boob lift,arm lift,body lift,thigh lift and maybe face and eyelid lift)
So,I do think in this wonderful trancient society that I live in,some new friends that dont know that I was ever that big,is on the new years resolution list.Just some people with whom I can relax and be myself.Will still see and love the old ones but they better get over themselves pronto as I am proud of the fact that my sacrificing my stomach and all my hard work after hat has paid off,and one of these days I will have the confidence to say so.In the meantime I am trying to be patient and loving and kind to them.
Ok,now for the next 5 pounds,fast..lol
Owe have been back in this country for 4 days and 1.I am sick as a dog with a cold ( just finished with SA cold and flu,now Middle eastern cold and flu...lol) and
2.I am struggling my butt off with the food issues ,just like before.
It just seems that there is some issues that I sTill have to battle and overcome.And I will.Its funny how wanting to write about my failure right now made me decide to fight to overcome these issues.
1.At home,here in Dubai,I seem to be able to eat more.My sleeve felt very restricted in SA and here it feels like I can and want to eat more and more often.I must confess I drink 8 cups of tea per day as I struggle with water and I struggle with the protein.I think the diffwrence is that I didnt replacw the protein with anything else when I was in SA.I also didnt eat low carb or low fat for that matter.I had a glass of wine every second night and generally I was way more relaxed.
So,heres the plan.Salad and protein.Less milk.I also drank a cup of coffee every day that I miss now (Jacob's Kronen not allowed in UAE) I didnt eat breakfast but then for lunch I did eat a good protein and again for dinner.I ate lots of seafood and here is something everyone will freak out about,I ate more fats.No fatfree foods or milk.I was fuller faster and satisfied with very small portions.So,I will start writing down every thing again and see what is so different.
O I hate obsessing about this but I do as the scale was down another pound yesterday and up 3 pounds today....and I still weigh every single day.dont think I can not.
Ok,new day,different food.
Xxo
Our mini holiday went gr8.Fabulous beach,I have a tan for the first time ever.Dont know why but I tanned brown.I am of the pink kind with blond hair and have never tanned.I use a factor 50 and it wasnt even that hot anymore,but Im tanned.The kids say it looks gr8.
The hotel was really super,got bumped up to their grand suite.If I knew that in advance I would have packed some food as it has a lounge dining room and kitchen (the rich locals take their housekeepers with to cook) It was a pleasant surprise though and we thoroughly enjoyed the luxury of it.I think it was because we phoned and asked if there was a freezer compartment in the minibar as I had some special dietary needs..lol.Dont know why else we go the grand treatment.
The hotel food was soooo boring.Not really in line with the rest of the hotel at all.So I just didnt eat a lot at all.A bite from my friends plate or my kids.
Now,unfortunately I came back with serious PMS.I am one of these sleevers that become a bottomless pitt when I have my TOM.It is crazy that I can eat double my usual portions and I can eat way more frequently as well.And I have been very undisciplined for the past 2 days.I even had a small chocolate two nights in a row and found out what caused the candida in my mouth for the first 3 months post surgery.I use to have small amout of honey in my tea once a day then.I couldnt get rid of this white stuff on my toungue and in my throat for 3 months and just as I was losing hope,it went away.But the honey was finished and I decided to start using sweetener.
After the first chocolate I did find my tongue had an irritating coating didnt think much of it but had to brush it off this morning.Well,2 hours after I ate the chocolate tonight I felt it again.And it must be aggressive overgrowth to appear that fast.
I cannot use sugar.Isnt that amazing?For the rest of my days I will be sugarfree as I absolutely hate the feeling on my tongue.Get obsessed with it it bothers me so much.This must be a blessing from the Lord as I can see it,better altogether to have a reason to be sugarfree than just a choice to be sugarfree...lol
Tomorrow I will try to go and play squash.Need the exercise as I have been skipping exercise a lot.Did play yesterday though.
My weight is still the same and I have decided to make a mini goal for myself.Ideally I would want to weigh under 180 before our December holiday but I will have to start woking a bit harder for that.A friend that is a personal trainer has been burning to work with me to help me tone.Might take him up on it as I have 7 weeks before the holiday.That might make a significant difference before I go.
The heat is gone and everyone is out running in the evening.Might start that up again as well, a bit slower this time as to not lose all my energy with over exercizing again.
Well,I still love my sleeve and will eat protein pancakes one meal a day again from tomorrow to help the weight loss again.
My hairloss seems to have slowed down a lot as well.I still dont see too much regrowth yet but that will come.Might even go for highlights for the first time since surgery.I was scared one would be able to see my scalp if I made the hair lighter so I just let it grow out since surgery.I also wish I knew what I would look like with short hair as I really feel like cutting it quite short but havent had short hair in 25 years.A bit scared I will look terrible.Older or fatter or just plain uglier.
Thats me for now!Will push the water and good clean eating for the next 7 weeks for great results.
My beautiful housemate and best friend of many years,that really knows the extent of my desturbed body image and the body dismorphia (real) I have had since the age of about 13 have taken it upon herself to teach me about size...lol
Well,at first she was very subtle and I didnt know what she was doing.She would constantly ask me,when we were in the shops or gym,if I thought I was bigger than this lady or that woman.....she wouldnt comment much but sh wold tell me if I was wrong.
Today she said she wanted to show me women that was the same size and women that was much larger.I was not to ague this with her but just had to look at these women and had to think about what this mean in terms of how I see myself.
Very interesting I might say until I came home and looked at the newest pics my daughter took of me.I am still big as a house.Pictures dont lie!And maybe I dont need to see myself with my eyes but maybe I can just learn to ignore what I see that isnt true,that might help already!
Rome wasnt built in a day and I will keep trying to be more realistic,even if it is with my head!
Everytime I have lost weigh in the past I thought I would be able to see it and I never could.This made me extremely paranoid when people commented on my weight loss.This in turn woul make me fall off plan to stop being anxious and the old cycle would repeat.
I do no have these expectations anymore.I can trust clothes size and as it stands now,I still wear a size 18 which is huge even though I know it is smaller than a 24.
Everbody's got a story dont we?everyone trying to cope with all the crazyness in the world and so many not even realizing how much a part they are in it.And until real disaster strikes we dont realize how insignificant our daily struggles really are.
i just read the scariest thread on OH.
A lady,4 years and 8 months out and gaining rapidly.Feeling lost and having no idea how to get out of the mud.She is back to not really knowing how she will lose the weight again.
This scares me senseless! What if what I think is mindful changes is just a matter of not being able to eat a lot?What if the WANT to outeat the sleeve starts in me too?How am I going to do this in the long term?I dont want to be on diet for the rest of my life.
I can do what I am doing now for the rest of my life,IF ONLY IT WORKS!
The problem does seem to be eating around the sleeve.Eating constantly,eating junk like crisps and a lot of carbs and sugar.But what if the changes I feel,like not depriving but not over indulging,keeping a good balance,saying no to myself to bad stuff most of the time,isnt real?
What if I am not learning to eat like a normal skinny person?
How do we know what will work for the FOREVER we need?
I am really freaked out by this as I saw a therapist for a year.In that year she aimed to teach me what normal was.I lost 70 pounds in 6 months and then went on holiday to the family.My brother and me had an argument and he seriously hurt my feelings.It was 4 days before I was to come home.I GAVE MYSELF PERMISSION to eat emosionally just for those 4 days until I could get away from them and I LOST NORMAL in those 4 days.I never could get back on track and it took me about 3 months to regain all 70 pounds again.This was 2 years ago.
What if this happens again.Of course I have the resolve to not let it.Maybe that is another reason to have all the plastics done.Arms,legs,tummy,boobs.If I gain a 100 pounds then I will surely explode and that will just be the end of that!
Now I have to try and calm down to sleep!
hi,thanks for the great suggestions!I have had a good food day and I tried to drink more water.I now have the lipbalm and that seems to help as well.
I counted a little calories (hehe) and found that I was drinking 5 cups of coffee or tea with milk every day.That didnt help.The carbs also went over 100 every day.What stumped me is the fact that my weight can go up when I eat 1300 cals a day.It petrifies me to think I will have to eat this little for ever.HOWEVER,I have realized that if I exercise it is different.Of course this makes me understand the importance of exercise once again.
I need to stop worrying so much about this.Of course I want to lose weight on holiday but if it can just stay stable I will be thrilled.It was the right choice not to come to SA for the usual 2 months and in 2 weeks I will be home again and will start with a personal trainer.
All this just makes me a little depressed as I realize once again that this is a life long battle.I will have to change my attitude about food and stress and I will have to work on my coping skills.
O well,Rme wasnt built in a day and I will get this!I want to succeed and I feel that thi is already a big change in me.
xxo
Jippee,the weight is coming off.I am down 24 pounds and I am getting excited about this new way of life.
It will be very easy to do to many calories in a day.I liquidized 4oz of chicken breast with 2 tablespoons of ff creamcheese and it was 220 calories.then I had 2 oz of my homemade meatloaf which was another 150 cals.the milk in my tea per day works out to 150 cals per day.then at 4 I had a protein bar because I felt like it and well that was another 180 cals.that totals 700 plus a bonbell cheese at 50 totals 750 and I havent had dinner yet.So this is where the discipline will have to start.
1 protein drink per day at 220 cals and 50g proteins per day.Then,no more liquidized anything.I will now learn to eat solids.People says that chicken and tuna is soft foods but I will have to make it soft.
I will really have to learn how much to eat.I am going nuts as I dont think I will be able to keep to such low calories.Anyhow,lets see what happens.
So I worked out if I have 2 oz of lamb 3 times today I will get 45g of protein.With one shake it will be 70g
and I will be good to go.Well,this sleeve doesnt like that much meat at all.I had 1.5oz and another 1.5oz and voila,reflux.Then I realized I had forgotten to take my nexium this morning.
Well,my old default is 3oz of sweetpotato and well,the reflux is gone and I feel ok.
You live,you learn.
I must say I am still stunned at how little I can eat.It takes a lot of getting use to.And my family is visiting next week.I will have ro figure out what to order when we eat out.At this point soup sounds safe.It is frustrating to not be able to eat but also exciting in a way.
One thing I am getting a bit paranoid about is the whole issue of calsium absorption and getting enough iron.I will have to try and find calcium citrate in different form than the huge tabs it comes in here in Dubai.Then I will have to figure out the iron thing as I am so constipated all the time now that taking iron is just not even an option.
Today was the day that I realized that I feel as if I can outeT the sleeve.I suppose in reality that is not really possible but I have got a lot of stuff going on that makes me want to eat (now my child wants to stay here in Dubai and finish uni and I just dont think it is the right thing to do,but she is grown up,what can I do)
The plan is from tomorrow I have to log everything I eat.Fitday.com is a program that I like...I find myfitnesspal difficult.So,it is me and y compulsion to eat life better,to eat stress away that is getting tested so early in this weight loss process.
The fact that I am so aware of the want to eat is good.I look at the brownies and walk away.I look at the cookies and decide tomorrow.Maybe this is a good thing to have to flex the portion muscle before the portion size gets bigger a few years from now.
Ok,so it is 22:00 now and I realize I am and have been all over the place trying to diagnose and fix the way I feel.
1.I have acid even though I am taking a PPI.
2.My brearhing is difficult most of the time even though it is not like asthma..just breathing with difficulty.I dont lie down or rest during the day and slept sitting up for max 5 hours a night before.
3.I know the tightness around my ribcage and pain in the back can be because of the acid.My left incision is slightly painful tonight.
4. Protein drink does not sit well at all....gas,pain,bloating.
5.the stomach is RUMBLING LIKE NEVER BEFORE especially on the left side where the left incision and drain was.
But all this can be normal.It is all the darn lucky people that says I dont even know I had the surgery,I went back to work day 5 that makes me so paranoid...LOL
With the band I had
1. The acid
2. The back pain
3. The rumbling tummy
4. The breathing issue. ..but only briefly
So I suppose this is just normal healing and a tummy that is angry and tryinq to cope with what I did to it.
And I will try to relax and endure this for a few more days....because this will get better very soon.Ok,upwards and onwards Christian soldiers.Tomorrow is another day.
xxo
Ps.a warm bath helps every time....I have been doing this at least 2 or 3 times every day...it helps for all the symptoms but the acid,which will be gone before I know it..hehehe!
ok,today is the first day that I feel a little lost in this journey.
I have had a hairy furry feeling with a white coating in the back of my throat since surgery.It doesnt go away.I have been on daktarin gel and on mycostatin and it doesnt help which makes me think it is not thrush.
How do I get rid of this feeling?I want to gag and am constantly busy trying to fix this issue.It is the most aweful feeling I have ever had and I regret having this surgery if only for this.I wish I could just feel normal again.If this horrible feeling goes away I feel I will have my life back.
Help!
Its been longer than a week now since I quit smoking.I also lost the weight I gained when I quit plus one.
Today 204 pounds.
The exercise program for the week was as follows:
Reformer pilates on Sunday and Tuesday for one hour at a time.
Some interval graining with weights on Monday.
Tuesday evening 1 hour of squash
wednesday evening 6,4km in 40 minutes (its still 98 degrees in the evening here with very high humidity)
Thursday 6,4km walk in 55 minutes.
friday squash 1,5 hours
saturday squash 1,5 hours
I didnt have the guts to up my calories.So I lowered it,hehehe! I have been on 700 with 30 carbs and between 65 and 75g protein every day!
Lots of hard work and little food for 1 pounds!
Ok,now for this week!
Well,178,7 tonight with clothes,heavy pants.This morning it was 177,9 and I decided the scale must be wrong.Weighed just now with all my clothes after a gr8 dinner (a bit carby though) and it was still down.Went inside and decided to strip off the heavy clothes (I always weigh before having a bath after undressing) and low and behold,it is 177.5.
Who will ever understand the way we lose?
12.5 pounds to goal even though I still seem to have a lot of fat all over.Will get down to 154 where I know I look "not fat" anymore.
Now,we actually weigh in kilograms.This means I am 80,7 and the long awaited 70's,just around the corner.This will be a huge huge milestone for me.In 1992 I doubled my body weight in one year.(lots of trauma and depression that followed,coupled with an addiction) I completely missed the 70's and ended up 120kg's before I knew it.I was way too thin at 60kg's and had a BMI of 17 at that point.
Now,a BMI of 23 seems perfect to me as I look good at about 72kg's.
Boy,I would just love to be under 80 before we go on holiday the 18th.
I still cant believe this sleeve works so well and sometimes really wish the sleeve could just stay this size and I could never eat more food,ever again.
So I needed to do a little emotional eating tonight and decided a half cup of wholegrain/flaxseed spaggetti with green pesto and a little feta cheese whould be it and boy am I paying for it.I have pain in the lower left side of my stomach and I am foaming big time.
I just dont have a cue (hickup or sneeze) when I am full like some people do.I did hickup when it was o late though...lol
This is not nice.I should know better.I try to never eat to much and have never felt like this since surgery.
Now I am paranoid about stretching my stomach,stupid I know.Next time I will stick to my protein and veggies and have a sf ice lolly to self sooth when needed.
Life's become so complicated since I had this surgery...so many changes like moving to either the US or UK in 2 months (not knowing drives me nuts) and then my sweet old aunty died today and now I will have to decide if I am going back to South Africa for the funeral and abandon my 11 year old while she had to compete in 2 international gymnastics competitions with an injury.
The thing is I think wasnt neccessarily easier before...I just ate my way through all the problems and it did give me great comfort....now,nothing!
Anyhow,at some point I will have to find not addictive coping mechanisms.And I know I will.
This sleeve is so far the best thing thats happened to me...I would have gained another 30 pounds in the last 2,5 months if I didnt have it.
xxo
