......and since the 25th of June Ive been in A dreadful stall again.
I am exercising 5 days a week now.Hard cardio and weights.(sometimes weights!)
Will keep chugging away and not complain too much.
We are going on holiday on thursday and will see what the change from 105 degrees to 50 do for us.Worry about wanting more food when it is cold...lol
xxo
Today I am 229 pounds.O my goodness this makes me happy!
Some observations now that I am 3 and a half months out:
1. When I exercise and take a multivitamin I am a lot hungrier than usual.
2. At night,I can eat way more than in the morning.
3. Snacking of any kind stalls my weight.Who knows why.It seems that my body reaches a homeostasis quickly whe I give it little bits of food all the time,even though my calories stays at 800 per day.However,when I snack it is easy to go up to 1000 or even 1200 per day.
4. Losing focus is quite easy.When life happens I still want to return to my default,eating away my hurts and fears.Even though I cant.
5.Exercise hurts more than ever.My goodness I am weak.Maybe waiting so long before starting to do some weights was a bad idea as it is quite pathetic to see me now..lol
6.Calcium and magnesium citrate helps with constipation.
7.Not focussing on the scale,even learning to laugh the days the weight is up a little.When you know what you do is right,you will lose weight.If what you do doesnt work for you,change it!
8.CARBS certainly seems to be my friend.Even though everyone says dont!I lose way more when I eat little bits of carbs every day!
Now I am going to South Africa (where it is winter and cold cold cold) and this will be my baptism with fire as far as making good food choices are concerned.But for the first time I am sure things will go well.I know what I can eat,what I should avoid and as long as I keep my portion sizes small it will be ok.My mom has a treadmill so I can do some running for exercise!
I am so happy for everyone that is losing weight.It is so life changing and living is so much easier!
xxo
last night I forgot to take my nexium.at 5 I woke up with severe burning in my throat.I took the nexium but had severe stomach ache all day long.
Now I've been wondering.My dr said that the stomach will adjust the amount of acid over time.But how can it while I am taking a PPI in the morning and in the evening?It blocks acid formation,doesnt it?
Some other dr's patient dont take a PPI automatically from the beginning and a lot of them dont have the acid issues at all.
At the moment with the threat about senseless questions going so furiously I am to scared to aks any questions really...lol
Will try to research this or ask on obesityhelp.
xxxo
Hehe,its because I want a big tasty burger to feel some pleasure from food that I hate the sleeve today.I want to eat all my stress away.
Before I often use to read about peoples problems (personal) that they found overwhelming post sleeve and thought they were making stuff up or were really some messed up people.Now since being sleeved I feel like my life has fallen apart and I am completely without coping skills at this point.
I dont want to leave Dubai at this complicated point in out life (my special needs kid is at uni here) and I want to eat.I am not saying I am eating,I want to eat.Over eating means a few bites to many at this point,thats all.I feel like I need to eat a lot of food,ice cream,chips,and more food.THE ONLY OTHER THING THAT MAKES ME FEEL AS GOOD IS WHEN I LOSE WEIGHT.
I am at 800 cals a day,exercise 30 minutes at least,drinking calsium,a little low on the water but not much.Getting the proteins doing all the right things and the scale is not moving.
Ok,so maybe I have psyco PMS at the moment.
xxo
Today,for the first time I regret having this surgery.
Not in all my life of professional dieting (lol) have I ever felt so out of control about losing weight.
Nothing I do seems to break this stall,When my friend went on a crazy detox and liquids for 5 days to drop 5 pounds after a 2 week stall,I told her to relax,eat exercise and the weight will come off.Now (my surgery was 2 weeks after hers) I am in this crazy stall.the weight seems to come off and then bounces back on,over and over and over.
I have huge stress in my life with the not knowing where we are moving,leaving my child behind....for sure I dont need this weight rubbish as well.If liquids is what is takes then liquids is what we'll do.
I hate this sleeve.
Tip for newly sleeved.Listen to the wize people that says start exercising immediately.
Now that I have started I can see how much more wobbly I am than befoe.Previously when I had to exercise from day one I was muxh more toned by the time I had lost 40 pounds.My legs are especially soft and now hat I have started I dont know why I didnt do it before.
Will start doing weights this week to see if I can catch up a little.
For some reason I am sure the weight loss will start moving again as well.
xxo
Ps.for some of the comments The speed with which your food passes depends on what it is and how much fibre is in the food.That is why I am eating more fibre.Maybe salad doesnt have nutritional value but it for sure helps me not be as constipated and it gives me great pleasure.Mind you I now add other stuff like grilled veggies too as I like it and I have missed it so much.I cannot oly eat proteins.My serotonin levels goes vwry low for some stupid reason (always have) if I cut out all my carbs.so unrefined carbs like veggies seems to do the trick for me and I am a happy sleever.I will start tracking calories burned the moment I get my new BODYBUGG.MInd you will try the old one until it gets here.
If I burn 500 additional cals per day while eating 800 I will lose weight,I know this for sure.
xxo
This blog has saved my life this morning.
The sleeve is seriously messing with my head.I thought I was in a looooong stall.In the mean time I have only not lost for 5 days.
The pattern with wich I lose is so different from before.I usually drop a few 100 grams every day,or most days.
Since being sleeved the weight will stand completely still for a week,sometimes a little more and then I drop about 4 pounds.But I mean completely still....not down even 100g.
Somehow my head is seriously done in by this.I just dont get use to this.My obsession with the scale is somehow more in control.It is not a matter of jumping on the scale every time I walk past it anymore.But I still get very anxious if I dont weigh every day.Cannot figure what to eat as I doubt myself so much,even when I track the food on fitday.Keep thinking maybe I had more,maybe Im not real about it...even when I weigh the food.Somehow when Im not losing I feel like I am doing something wrong even though I know Im not.
I suppose my fear that I will fail is still huge as I still feel I failed with the band as I did lose the weight but regained it.I am so resistant to believe that this will work as my big yap coudnt keep shut about the surgery and everybody knows.Maybe that is also why I havent climbed on the intense exercise band wagon yet.
Anyhoo,upwards and onwards christian soldiers....lol
So I needed to do a little emotional eating tonight and decided a half cup of wholegrain/flaxseed spaggetti with green pesto and a little feta cheese whould be it and boy am I paying for it.I have pain in the lower left side of my stomach and I am foaming big time.
I just dont have a cue (hickup or sneeze) when I am full like some people do.I did hickup when it was o late though...lol
This is not nice.I should know better.I try to never eat to much and have never felt like this since surgery.
Now I am paranoid about stretching my stomach,stupid I know.Next time I will stick to my protein and veggies and have a sf ice lolly to self sooth when needed.
Life's become so complicated since I had this surgery...so many changes like moving to either the US or UK in 2 months (not knowing drives me nuts) and then my sweet old aunty died today and now I will have to decide if I am going back to South Africa for the funeral and abandon my 11 year old while she had to compete in 2 international gymnastics competitions with an injury.
The thing is I think wasnt neccessarily easier before...I just ate my way through all the problems and it did give me great comfort....now,nothing!
Anyhow,at some point I will have to find not addictive coping mechanisms.And I know I will.
This sleeve is so far the best thing thats happened to me...I would have gained another 30 pounds in the last 2,5 months if I didnt have it.
xxo
Recently I have come to understand that I am more stubborn than most people on earth.
1 cup of food is tooo much.Repeat, a whole cup of food is too much.Even if it is 2 oz of protein and lettuce and salad veggies....it is still too much.I feel too full after I have finished it,even with a break in the middle.
So,back to half a cup or 3-4 oz depending on what it is.
I will learn.
Today was a good food day.I have decided to stop the snacks and it wasnt difficult.Now I just have to get through this evening without snacking and I will be good to go.The exercise program is also taking shape now and I am/will exercise every day.
Now for the next ten pounds.
xxo
for some reason I still cannot reply on the comments.
I usually feel "mentally uncomfortable" when I am full.Sounds crazy but full is in my head before it is in my stomach.But not when I am eating for comfort.I feel that maybe I eat faster then and the speed of my mouth outruns the speed of the head if that makes sense.
However I almost got a second helping tonight but then the pain struck and I felt aweful.
Wont be doing that any time soon again.
xxo
when I am "good" and eat mostly proteins and little bit of carbs but snack my food during the day to get my calories my weight stalls but when I eat 3 carb rich meals per day,dont count cals or anything for that matter my weight starts coming off much faster...until I get paranoid and think I shouldnt eat carbs and change what I do......and then I stall.
Normal,very little amounts with protein shakes just seems to work better.
Weight 111.5kg's today
The sleeve rocks even though it completely confuses me.
xxo
I am not sure what is going on with me but I am getting slightly concerned.Since yesterday morning I've been having the craziest stomach ache.No idea what is causing it.I also have this pain high in my back behind my stomach.My tummy is rumbling like crazy the whole time and I am just generally feeling weird.
This should really go away now....
So my friend and myself are in a stall.She is back on liquids and I am eating more often and more from today!So for this day,no calorie counting.
Tomorrow I will start with 1000 calories every day and maybe it will help.
Xxo
Often I see posts on what happens when people take "one bite to many"....well,that has never happened to me.I can actually eat quite a lot.Usually I try not to but we've been entertaining a lot lately.Tonight after dinner I had something else to eat and for the first time I had a single hick up that I was wondering am I now full,is this it?that feeling of slight tightness in my chest and a hick-up?
It is so crazy to hear people say they cannot make 800 calories when I have to stop myself all the time or I would usually average about 1000 whr I eat what I really want to.
Then the thing of cutting carbs.I dont do more than 60 carbs on a high day but for me that is high in carbs for weight loss.When I low carbed before I had to stricktly stay under 20 for it to really work.
When I do low carb I feel a little on the depressed side.The feel good factor just disappears from my life and I start craving crisps and chocolate badly.
I am really worried that I will fail with this sleeve.I am not really dieting as I have this stange reaction of having no expectations so I will not be so disappointed.I suppose in a way after the struggle with the band it is normal to feel this but I will have to pull myself toward myself and start getting with the program and exercise and eat only the right food.
I will do this.
first,the hotel stay was great.Buffets are just difficult now as of course I wanted to eat and in fact I had half a flat bread toastedwhich I wouldnt usually do.
Anyway,it is what it is...we travel a lot and I have to get use to it.
On the 5th I was 249 pounds.I find the weight loss painfully slow.I can not understand that I lose this slow.Whenever I diet I lose a lot faster and this is like a super strict mostly low carb diet,WHY IS THE WEIGHT LOSS SO SLOW?
it drives me nuts.Having said that,I am not really exercising at all....maybe that really will make a difference.
xxo
The surgeon stopped my blood pressure meds the day of surgery.I take my BP every day with a meter that I thought was accurate.Well,let me tell you.It is not.I had a 24 hour BP meter and the BP is high.Had to start back on meds.At the moment at half the dosage than before.Will see if this is enough.
This is a comination pill and I suppose the diuretic in it has done its work.I have lost 5 pounds in the last 2 days.
Man,I will have to find a different way to roxk the weight boat every week.Mind you,I have also cut my carbs way,way back and have been eating chicken (trying to do food protein of 80g every day) almost 3 times a day.Tomorrow I will do fish..lol.When the weight stalls again I will have a high carb eat what you want day and then I will cut them way back again.
I really plan on starting the exercise in a little more formal way tomorrow.Walk away the pounds from Leslie Samsone sounds like a great place to begin.
xxo
Somehow I struggle to get motivated to do exercise.So I do what I can at the moment.We played an hour of squash an I still love this more than any other exercise.
As I cannot comment while on the Ipad (dont know why) I thought to write about it.
I honestly hope it is not my galbladder.Before my sugery I decided that as I am so scared of surgery,I will have my galbladder out at the same time as sleeve.When I went fo galbladder sonar I told the radiologist to find a stone...just even a 2mm stone pleaseeeeee!He said he would.He spend such a long time doing an xray and doing a sonar and searching for something wrong with my galladder.then they did a functional galbladder test where you have to go and eat high fat food,wait half hour and then do test for when the galbladder start working....well mine took almost 2 hours before it started and yet he didnt think it was delayed.Just slow but normal.No stones.the surgeon came to look an said hey dont like taking out such healthy organs.At That I backed off...he said 60 persent stays healthy only 40 persent gets removed...I asked him what if I am one of the 40% and he said but what if you are one of the 60%.
I am not planning on another sugery before I leave this country.I only have 3 months left of end of year issues at school,gymnastics competitions for my daughter and a trip to the USA to see where we are moving as i've never been there...and a Month holiday in South Africa to see my folks...moving from one country to another takes some planning and dont need the stress of surgery as well.(and as it is the company has complicated issues with the possibility of a move to the UK instead of the US but we think living in America will be nicer)
So no,it is not my galbladder.I have gastritis or something that will clear up tomorrow after I have played squash for the first time after sugery....lol.I am on super soft to mushy foods to help the stomach recover.
xxo
Today was the day that I realized that I feel as if I can outeT the sleeve.I suppose in reality that is not really possible but I have got a lot of stuff going on that makes me want to eat (now my child wants to stay here in Dubai and finish uni and I just dont think it is the right thing to do,but she is grown up,what can I do)
The plan is from tomorrow I have to log everything I eat.Fitday.com is a program that I like...I find myfitnesspal difficult.So,it is me and y compulsion to eat life better,to eat stress away that is getting tested so early in this weight loss process.
The fact that I am so aware of the want to eat is good.I look at the brownies and walk away.I look at the cookies and decide tomorrow.Maybe this is a good thing to have to flex the portion muscle before the portion size gets bigger a few years from now.
Its my birthday today and I decided to buy food from a place called limetree.They make the most delicious salads and quiche and of course,carrot cake.I bought 2 salads and 2 slices of quiche for 4 of us and I had a tiny bit of each...or thought I would have.
Since this morning i have had a tummy ache like I have gastritis. (know what it feels like as I had it often while I had the band).I had a few bites and fed the rest of my food to my 11 year old that came back from camp today and was starving.Then I cut the 2 slices of cake in half and for myself half of half....and it made me feel so sick.
Had a nice long bath afterwards and then at about 22:00 I decided that it is m birthday and I am allowed to eat..got myself a little tiny 100 calorie packet of sweet chilli ryvitas,minis, and low and behold,at about 5 and have been spitting it out ever since.Just like with the band the food just seems to pop back into my mouth..I dont vomit and the food is really clean just as it was when I swallowed it.
I have realized once again that I cannot at his point eat just to eat...even if it is my birthday.Food have to be more functional and the protein thing is something I will have to get right.
Sweet stuff makes me feel horrible and i seems nothing tastes as nice as before the surgery.
Maybe if I try to get a bit more serious about exercise I will feel a bit more serious about the adaptations I have had to make around food.I am just struggling a bit with the very small portion size...like I've said before,just when I get ready to eat I am full.
Ok,this day is over and maybe my tummy feels better tomorrow.
