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Still Hopeful!

I have decided to actually do a journal on here, and not use my blogger for a change. I am still hopeful about getting sleeved, even though at times it does not seem like it is suppose to happen for me. I often question God as to why.. but I'm sure there is a reason it's taking so long. I still say "When I sleeved" instead of "If I get sleeved" I am hopeful.   I did go to state appointed dr. yesterday. That was a trip I'll remember for the rest of my life probably. He was a grumpy old man, probably around 90 years old, and should retire. He was one of those blunt and honest drs. I probably wasn't in the office for more than 5 mins before he just came out and asked.. "Why are you so overweight, why are you so fat? Do you eat too much"? Now six months ago I probably would have cried my eyes out, and that would have broke my heart, and while it was rude as can be, it's not like I don't know I'm overweight. I mean I know. I feel it. I feel it in my muscles, my legs, my arms, my everything. I KNOW I'm overweight (and I'm here seeking guidance, an education on getting the sleeve). I still didn't know how to react to the question though, because I thought I was there to get me help, not beat me down. After not answering him, because I didn't know how, he asks me if I have mental problems, and that's why I'm not replying to him, and rudely let me know that time is running out, he wants to get this done quickly. I never did answer him. He did ask me why I didn't have surgery for my weight issue. I replied.. well you need money, and I do not have the money at this time for the surgery. It's something I am seeking. He really didn't examine me much. Mostly asked questions. However, at the end of the appt. he listened to my heart, and his reaction to my heart was enough to scare me, and have my mom crying her eyes out. The look on his face was scary.. he was dumbfounded that my family doc. has never had my heart checked, and he let me know that the weight has to come off sooner or later or I'm in trouble. I'm basically a ticking time bomb. Scary, it had me in tears.   So.. here I am. Unable to work due to my weight, so I have no insurance. I'm ready to have 50 million garage sales, and fundraisers to help me (however I have learned that people are not to hip on donating money to WLS). My parents talked about helping me out, getting loan. My dad figured that if he and my mom would stop smoking, they could easily pay off a loan within 2 to 3 years! That's a lot of smoking. I think it's an awesome idea! Not only would they be saving my life, but their own life too. It was mentioned once, and that's it. Needless to say my parents are still smoking,and now we are all ticking time bombs.   I really wish a door would just open, and I could get the help for this surgery!
KatieOkieDokie

KatieOkieDokie

5
 

Questions..?

Instead of asking these questions in the form..as I'm sure many of people have asked the same questions over and over. I thought I would ask them in a blog. So if you read this and know the answer please feel free to respond!   My first question is about hunger. They say you don't feel hunger (actual hunger..not head hunger I understand that's something we may have to deal with for the rest of our lives). But actual hunger pain. Is that true? Do any of you whose had the surgery ever feel hunger pain? Actual hunger pain.   Second how long after surgery did most of you start to feel more energetic? I don't mean from the surgery, or recovery, but from being big. When did you feel like you've lost that magic amount when you realized that hey I can breath more openly when I walk, and my heart doesn't feel like it's jumping out of my chest..I feel comfortable! I guess I imagine that it will feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my chest..because I walk around feeling like I have one on my chest. At least that's what I'm hoping for.   Third.. what did it feel like the first time you put on a shirt, or pair pants you couldn't fit into before WLS? Did you cry? Did you jump up and down and get all excited! Something else I look forward to doing.   Where did you first notice you had lost weight? Was it your face, hips, fingers?   Ok enough questions.. lol Thanks to anyone who answers.
KatieOkieDokie

KatieOkieDokie

4
 

Doctor Visit

Thank you everyone who reads my blog! I know I don't really "blog" on here! So if you read my blog thanks!! I appreciate the fact that you take time out of your day to read my boring blog http://chasingmydream2012.blogspot.com/2012/03/dr-visit.html
KatieOkieDokie

KatieOkieDokie

1
 

It's Been Awhile.. But Here's A Sort Of Update But Not Really

It has been awhile since I have updated! I am still working toward getting money for the sleeve, but sometimes life throws you situations that you feel are a little more important. Like a friend with a sick child! Which I talk more about in my blog! Which is the link below! I hope everyone takes time to read it! And remember her in your prayers and thoughts.   http://chasingmydream2012.blogspot.com/2012/09/ewings-sarcoma.html
KatieOkieDokie

KatieOkieDokie

1
 

More Of A Question Blog

I have *yet* to have the surgery and I struggle A LOT with energy and walking. I mean a lot! I have gotten to the point that I can barely do anything anymore without being in pain (lower back, legs, ankles) and out of breath, and feeling as though I've been wiped out!   Now I know some lose pretty quickly, so I guess one of my questions is.. how quickly did you notice after the surgery that you was able to do more physically without feeling zapped, or it being hard to walk etc? And when you noticed that you was able to do more, walk further etc. what did that feel like both emotionally and physically? Did it feel like a weight (no pun intended) was lifted from your body, did you feel free? Because I am dying to feel that way!
KatieOkieDokie

KatieOkieDokie

0
 

Wear Me Out!

http://chasingmydream2012.blogspot.com/b/post-preview?token=SecE9TUBAAA.iA3ugQyR4p4zQ4HiBxfJxg.OFyKTsbanyEh3awbmx-hMg&postId=5345377312490907944&type=POST
KatieOkieDokie

KatieOkieDokie

0
 

Hello

So I thought I would introduce myself, since I have been lurker. I joined yesterday, in hopes of learning more about WLS. I am a VERY new newbie. I have thought about WLS before, actually a lot, but I have yet to take any steps mostly out of finical reasons. However a door *MAY* open that could help me greatly (I hope and pray)   So a little bit about me. My name is Katie and I'm 31 years old, live in Ohio. I have been overweight almost my entire life. Which seems to shock everyone because I only weighed 14lbs when I was 2 years old! I have not always been big, and probably most people thought I would be a little bit of nothing when I got older, boy did I surprise them! As a kid I was in gymnastics and took it very seriously! However, I ended up breaking my arm when I was in about the third grade which of course made gymnastics impossible to do, and just my luck the day after I got my cast taken off my arm I ended up breaking my leg! So I was pretty much in casts for a good 5 months! That's when my weight gain really started (and not just weight gain, but other major changes that happen to girls..I really developed quickly and young). It did not help that my mom worked at a bakery and started to bring home the left over goodies at the end of the day. So my lack of movement, and eating of junk food didn't help! By the time I was in the 6th grade I weighed 200lbs, and was much bigger than those my age. By the time I was in high school I weighed around 250lbs and pretty much kept that weight until I was around 23, when I bloomed well over 300lbs. I had major changes during that time. I went from living in the city where I walked every where to living in the country where I never walk, and don't get out and move like before. I am also an emotional eater (which I know is a problem) mostly when I'm bored!   So here I am, 31 years old, overweight, and needing help! I feel so limited by my weight, I am limited by weight. I probably weigh over 400lbs now (I'm guessing here). I'm in a lot of pain a lot, mostly my lower back. I can't walk without being in pain, or getting out of breath, and I can't stand for more than 3 mins without being in pain. My ankles are starting to become weak, and I'm scared for my life. It's hard to believe that the girl who use to walk miles at a time, can barely walk to her car from the house, and has to have a shopping cart to lean over while shopping so it takes the weight off my lower back, and opens up my lungs so I can breath. I am going to school for nursing, but I know unless I loose weight I will never be able to be a nurse because physically I can't!   So there is my story, and my introduction! I've enjoyed this site so far, and have learned some. I'm praying that I can get some help, so I can start this journey to hopefully better my life, and give me a chance at life!
KatieOkieDokie

KatieOkieDokie

0
 

The Hard Way

I blog a lot..lol. but I seen an article on my facebook today that really upset me and had to write about it!   http://chasingmydream2012.blogspot.com/2012/03/hard-way.html
KatieOkieDokie

KatieOkieDokie

0
 

New Blog

I have a new blog so anyone who wants to read it and follow me please do so!!!     Losing it with Katie http://losingitwithkatie2013.blogspot.com/   I also have a facebook page! Please like me! https://www.facebook.com/LosingItWithKatie   Thank you everyone!! I hope every one has a blessed day!
KatieOkieDokie

KatieOkieDokie

0
 

Easter #2

Easter #2 was yesterday! Yes Easter #2. This is what happens when you come from a close knit family, that's huge! You have to plan holidays on different days of the actual holidays!` We've had Christmas in Jan. for years!   I love getting together with my family, not everyone was there, which was sad, but it was still nice to see those who did come! It was nice! We had a HUGE Easter egg hunt for the kids! There was probably over 200 eggs, and only about 6 kids. Needless to say they made out like a bandit. LOTS of candy! So much candy it was kind of sad. I did well though, and did not touch any of it!   Then we had the big Easter egg hunt. It's a money egg, that you have to pay to hunt for. 2 dollars per person. This egg is hidden the night before, and everyone can hunt, kids, and grown up. The money goes into a jar, so the egg is empty. Whoever finds the special egg wins the jar of money. This year there was 28 dollars in the jar. It was pouring rain, and there was several people out looking for this egg for 28 dollars. I however was not one of them. I sat on the couch and watched from a distance. Wishing I could be out there with them, but knowing that physically I couldn't. And you have no idea how much that killed me. I hate watching life from a window. And that is what I am doing watching life through a window, watching as everyone else carries on, hunts Easter eggs, plays and runs with the kids. Rides bikes, flies kites and enjoys life to the fullest. I watch from a couch or chair because physically I can't do it. And this kills me! I hate this so much. I know it's one step at a time. But those steps are so hard..and painful! I look at my life and feel like a failure. I can't do anything, I can't get a job, I can't make money, and I can't have a life of my own. Because of this weight. This prison I've put myself in. I don't want to live like this anymore! I want to be free.. but I can't do this on my own.   I feel bad begging people for money, especially people I do not know well. Which is why I haven't been doing my fundraising any more. I figure if people wanted to donate to my cause they would have. I was even told that WLS is not a good enough cause to donate money too, the risks are too high, there isn't enough proof that it is 100% effective, and that sometimes it's just better to be overweight. Well thank you for saying that my life isn't worth it! That stung. But then I realized how uneducated, an uninformed this person was. I mean we live in a society where media tells us what to believe, and most people believe what they see and hear on TV, and instead of finding out the facts for themselves, they go by what they media says.. and that's that. (I mean look at our Government and that mess! Not going there though..not in this blog).   My dad had mentioned at one time that they could possibly get a loan and have it paid off in three years, if he and my mom stopped smoking. Well after hearing "stop smoking" it was never mentioned again. I guess it's better if we all three die together, than get healthy with each other? Because if that's the case, and they could pay off the loan in three years with what they save from not smoking this surgery could save three peoples lives! Not just my own! It could prevent me from having diabetes, high blood pressure, and being stuck in THEIR house under their support for the rest of my life. And it could keep them from getting lung cancer, or having to live with a hole in their throat due to throat cancer! Why wouldn't you pick that road? I don't get it? If I started to lose weight, I could get a job, because I cannot work right now due to my weight. I could eventually take over the loan payments.   IDK..I just need change! I feel like I'm hoping for nothing, and wishing for something that's never going to happen. I wish I could just win the loto or come into some money.   Well this blog had very little to do with Easter huh? But I do feel better getting this out and in the open.
KatieOkieDokie

KatieOkieDokie

0
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