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Pirates, Ninjas and Sleeves, The Quirky Rollercoaster Ride of Life

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Bustin' Out The Moves- 80's Style!

Only 14 more days until surgery! Man, I've got so much to do until then! I have to bake a huuuuge vegan wedding cake (pain in the butt), go to my last class/doctor's appointment, start my liquid diet, save the world, clean my house, save the world, work through a weekend as the only decorator (scary!), catch the cat, and then drive 3.5 hours to my parent's house and then 1.5 hours to the hospital that I'm having surgery at. Shew! I'd be tired if I wasn't dancing about in excitement! I feel like I should be singing and dancing to some bangin' music! If my life had a theme song right now, it would be "Can't Touch This" by Hammer. Oh yeah, and bustin' out some bad 80's moves! *giggles*   I've been slowly switching over to liquid diet stuff so that my body wont flip out on the 18th (the start of the official diet). At least I gave up my espresso shots awhile ago. My coworkers told me that I'm not allowed to have espresso, as I'm hyper and too happy even when I'm NOT on it! Spoil sports.... *pout*
Lyra

Lyra

0
 

Burger King, $6, And A Non-Toy Surprise!

So for the past few months I've been making pretty good food choices as I figured that since I was going forward with this surgery I should start changing my eating habits sooner rather than later. I do protein shakes (I actually rather like them!), and a veggie/fruit/nut/dairy smoothie thats delicious and healthy. My body feels like it's running better and I have more energy since I've started actually acknowledging a need for a more healthy and varied diet.   As I said above, I've been pretty good the last few months, but today I decided, "What the hell" and answered my craving for a Burger King Whopper Junior and fries. Plus soda, which I almost never drink. I figured having one fast food meal every now and then is no biggie, right? WRONG! My insides feel like they want to be outside and I dont think my gallbladder will ever forgive me. Uck. I also feel just plain ol' yuckie.   So with my intestinal discomfort, why am I kinda happy, you ask? Because whilst I was consuming calorie and fat ladden foods I realized that it just didn't taste as good as it used to. It tasted...well...fatty and super processed. Fake. One shaky step up from fillet a la cardboard. Frankly it disgusted me and I have absolutely NO desire to eat that crap again. Healthy, tasty, natural foods are addictive and your taste buds do change over time. My revelation was kinda surprising and very welcome!   Not bad for a pre-sleever, huh?
Lyra

Lyra

4
 

Blushing Like Mad

I've had the past four days off of work to go back to my hometown for my mom and grandpa's joint birthday party. It was awesome as I haven't seen some of my family members in 6 months and they were all shocked at how I look. Okay, so here is my deep, dark secret. I've always kinda envied those women who are small and delicate looking (yet a total steel magnolia underneath!) but at 5'5 and within spitting distance of 300 pounds THAT wasn't a term applied to me. The best I could hope for was that I had a pretty face, or nice eyes or hair. Underwhelming since I always knew they were tacking on the "too bad you're so big". *rolls eyes*. Yet I had soooo many people tell me how tiny and dainty I looked. My uncle even picked me up when he hugged me and spun me around! I still have about 30 pounds I want to lose...but what a great feeling! I'm at a stage where you can actually notice 5 or 10 lb weight loss and I LOVE LOVE LOVE what I'm starting to look like. I adore my kickboxing, zumba and yoga classes and if I don't run several times a week I feel weird. Whats even better is that my amazingly supportive grandparents (so funny now as my grandma was not 100% on board when I told her about my surgery a year ago!) have said that when I run my first 10K this summer that they'll be there at the finish line. That's amazing considering they want to travel to ME and at their age (late 80s) the 3.5 hour trip is hard for them. Wow. Just...wow! This entire long weekend has been great motivation to continue my 'Battle of the Bulge' until I get to my goal!!
Lyra

Lyra

3
 

Biting Nails, Dinosaurs, Terminator, And Evil Dryers

When I went to my last pre-insurance-approval class (is- Support group) I was told to wait until Tuesday and then call to see if the doctors had all gotten my paperwork to Dr. W. So, dutifully I call and was told that everything was kosher and that it had gone to the insurance lady, Mary, last Friday. So...sitting here, cruising the 'web, eating some pasta, watching about dinosaurs and just chilling. NOT. Okay, so the first few things were true, but I am not calm and collected! I'm about to have absolutely NO nails left. I am, in fact, biting my nails so badly that it looks like I have a nervous tick and the nice men in the white jackets are gonna take me to a padded room. Also, as a side note, I was totally expecting something different from the Support group. I had this weird image that we would all be sitting in a circle on rainbow poofy chairs talking about our feelings, our emotional eating problems, and our mothers. Something very touchy-feely. Not that there is anything wrong with touchy-feelyness, per say, but I would rather remove my own stomach with a dull, plastic spork then talk about such things in front of strangers. Well the rainbow poofy chairs were long tables, metal folding chairs, and a whiteboard. And the only touchy feeling talk going on was about vitamins, minerals and how best not to starve ourselves of vital nutrients.   So, I have all these questions whirling through my head. What if the insurance blip I had to take care of a few weeks ago didn't go all the way through the bureaucratic nine levels of hell to be attached to my file? What if the doctor's office didn't properly file my new insurance information in my folder? What if BCBS's computers suddenly become sentient and we all start living some variation of "The Terminator"? Somehow I don't think Dr W would do surgery in some broken down building while hoping to escape from a rabid AI. Okay, so maybe that last one is a touch out there...   I know that after the surgery I will be getting rid of clothes like crazy. I thought I was ready to get rid of my favorite shirt that I have had for years. I had even made plans to get said shirt in smaller incarnations. Whenever I wore this shirt I got sooo many compliments and it was the supreme of cool. Yet my Led Zepplin shirt was taken from me before it's time. Not because I have lost so much weight that it was now a tent and merrily off I went to buy another. No. It was insidiously taken from me by my dryer. I pulled it out and somehow small holes had ripped through the shirt. It had gone straight from "I can wear this out in public" through "I can wear this to the gym" to "only in my house. Alone. With the blinds closed." *sigh* Poor Led Zepplin shirt.
Lyra

Lyra

2
 

Bad Hormones! Be Good!

I apologize to everybody who has messaged me asking where I was. Frankly, it's felt like the last week has flown by, what with going back to work and everything. My managers have really pulled through for me and decided that I needed to be on half days for last week and this week as I was struggling to make it through the day. If my job was less physical I would have been able to stick it out, but I just couldn't deal with an 8 hour shift yet. I'm hoping that by Friday I'll be back to normal hours, although I've never been so glad that I accumulated so much PTO! Things have been going okay. I still have trouble with getting my gallbladder med, vitamin, and my protein in but each day is a little easier.   I have felt very cut off, though, and I realize that it's somewhat self-inflicted. I'm so exhausted from work that I go home, sleep for about 4 hours, then get up and work with my weights or go for a walk. Which exhausts me and then I go to sleep. I've always been someone who is always doing things and its hard for me to take the time and relax. I'm hoping I can schedule some fun stuff for this coming week, though! Today I'm going to go to the new wing at the science museum and then to the art museum and I'm really excited about it!   Okay, on to the 'blushy stuff'. I read that people can get really horny as their hormones get released from the fat cells...but damn. I swear I'm about to jump on the first available man I see and do a "wham, bam, thank you sir" in public! I'm going to end up on Channel 10 local news if this doesn't come under control! I feel like I'm once again a hormone-bombed-15-year-old. Seriously not cool. Okay, so it is cool...but it would be so much better if I had a boyfriend right now. Although he probably would have to call in sick to work from massive dehydration and pulled muscles....*grin*
Lyra

Lyra

3
 

Bad Brain! No Cookies For You!

I am Batman. Or rather, Batwoman. No, seriously, apparently I am some lady's hero today who called work all in a tizzy because her pie dough turned out wonky. Forgetting the salt does that. Perhaps one day I'll even look good in spandex and a cape.   Besides my future as a caped crusader I like to think I'm a rather self-aware lady, and I mean self aware beyond the existential belief of both my physical and mental existence upon this plane of reality. Yeah, it's a work in progress but I've given a lot of time (oh, say about five minutes) to understanding my brain and why it prefers to think in shades of purple and glitter (there may also be polka dots) rather than in a more logical and linear manner. Well, I think we can toss "Lyra's Self Awareness Merit Badge" into the trash can. I swear, where does my brain get some of it's thoughts from? Obviously I didn't train it up right and it needs a choke collar and some correctional training. So, here's the sitch...   I was at work today doing my very best to help raise the sugar level in America (I'm a cake decorator, or as I like to say, 'Cake Diva') when one of my coworkers who is a teacher on the side said that she recommended me to teach a class next semester. Now this is good in several ways the first being that teaching one class will help me figure out if this is what I would like to do full time, and the second being that I would make a lot more money teaching than what I'm currently doing. Also, I'm bored and feel the need to stretch my gossamer (and delicately ephemeral) wings in order to expand my repertoire within my profession. So, this is good and I'm confident enough that I think I would be good at the job. However, the first thing that popped into my head was, "Well, if I get the job and as it doesn't start until August, then I probably wont be fat then and so will kick butt." *Beats brain with a rubber duck* What the hell?! Since when is my brain trying to play for the rival team in putting me down? Mutiny! You would think that since my brain is trapped in it's current flesh-mobile that it would be a little bit more respectful of my..er...rubenesque physique. Also, my butt stomping boots work no matter what size I am. It just kinda made me sad that I had this automatic thought about my innate ability vs my size. We get enough of that from the public without having to put up with that inside my own head! Bad brain! No cookies for you!   Okay, one other thing. Why do people, when they see someone like me eating a salad, ask "So, are you trying to lose weight?" I don't go over to skinny people who are eating burgers and say, "So, I see that you're working on that ol' beer gut. Good job!". Today I was eating my lunch (salad) and one of my coworkers asked me what dressing I was using. When I replied "olive oil and lemon juice" he commented that it is great for the middle of the body. *stink eye* Seriously? My middle is not up for public debate. In fact, my middle is under the Witness Protection Program and it's name has been changed so feel free to pretend that it doesn't exist. My reply to him was that, "I don't know what you mean" with my best Clint Eastwood stare. Cue uncomfortable silence and then his quick shuffle towards the door. Yeah, that's right, feel embarrassment and social discomfort brought about by your own clumsy inability to talk about the weather. *rolls eyes*   Tomorrow we're going to the zoo and I'm all aflutter! I do enjoy seeing the penguins and it sounds like a blast!
Lyra

Lyra

0
 

And No, I'm Not Pregnant, Thanks Ever So.

Wow. So much has happened in the last few days. I got my surgery date finalized, apparently it was only a projected date that had to be approved by the OR. Thank god I didn't know that or I would have fretted endlessly about it! I also got my final pre-op blood work done although apparently one of the tests they needed to do was a pregnancy test. Well, the doc didn't code WHICH pregnancy test as apparently there is one that says if you're pregnant, and the other tells them how far along you are. So the conversation went something like this:   Labcorp Tech (LT): So do you know what pregnancy test they want? Me: Huh? LT: explains the two tests. Your doctor didn't specify. Me: Well, it's for pre-op so they just want to see if I'm pregnant or not. I'm not, by the way. LT: We need to double check. He might want the other one. Me: Um...okay. Except the reason he wrote down for me to get these tests was because it's pre-op. If I'm pregnant (and I'm not) then no surgery. Thus meaning that the other test doesn't matter. LT: I'm going to call the doctor and verify. It may be awhile as it's after 5pm. Me: bangs head on wall.   Eh, she was just doing her job, but sheesh. Luckily Dr W called back quickly and I was in and out and thus made it to sushi on time.   I feel kinda odd right now, but not in a bad way. I feel like I'm very internally focused. It's strange because I've been so excited these last few months and now that the approval is in and all I have left is my last class/pre-op doctor's check on the 17th I feel very 'me' focused right now. My friends keep wanting to talk about it and how excited I must feel, and I am really excited, but I don't really want to talk about it. Perhaps it's nerves. I've been finding that while I'm emotionally fine, my brain is buzzing along like crazy. My friends have always teased me that I have the attention span of a magpie (I see something pretty or interesting and I'm off in another direction). I'm not flighty (heh, no pun intended) but I do enjoy learning lots of different subjects and tend to dabble in a lot of unconnected, random bouts of learning. It's kinda why I'm a National Geographic geek.   Speaking of NatGeo geeks, I've recently discovered TedTalks. For those of you who don't know they are a series of conferences that are held each year on a vast number of topics. Anything from the sciences, to art, history, etc but each presentation can only be a very strict 18 minutes. Well, except for Jane Goodall's presentation, but she's Jane Goodall, nobody is gonna boot her from the stage. The top voted person of the talks gets money to put towards their research or their dream that is going to change the world. Cool, huh? How did I not know about this? It's perfect for someone like me who loves hearing condensed talks about a myriad number of subjects. Thank you Netflix for adding a zillion of them to your instant play. My brain is thanking you! I've already watched about 30 of them. Very frosty, very neat!   April is such a crazy month for me. My job as a decorator gets hectic at Easter, then I have to get around to finishing my taxes, get to my class on the 17th, start liquid diet on the 18th, then work a crazy schedule until the 24th before I get my 2 weeks off for surgery.   Somebody at work asked me what my surgery was. I decided to have some fun, so I told him I was getting my own pair of sparkly butterfly wings. I said that because the room we work in is so small we were looking at lofting work stations to fit more decorators and we decided it would be best if I could hover and decorate on the lofted station. Then I told him that I had a traumatic experience where I woke up to this alien thing on my face and down my throat and that I had been implanted with an alien love spore and they had to get it out of me before I did my best Sigourney Weaver impersonation from Aliens 3. That got a lot of laughs and a "Lyra, you're nuts!" from people. While I don't have a problem telling people what I'm having done I was running a little experiment on how people would react if I answered that question with a ridiculous answer. Basically they were amused and dropped the subject. They probably think I have some horrible female related problem or something. It might be a good tactic to use on people who are being really pushy about the surgery. You just have to out ridiculous somebody until they walk away! Or edge away and call the looney tunes brigade....
Lyra

Lyra

0
 

Alien Love Spore Or Zombie Death Plague

I haven't written in a few days because I've been fighting off The Zombie Death Plague. Okay, I should probably back up and start from the beginning. Ten years ago I was bitten by a brown recluse spider and then got MRSA on top of that (it was a fun year) and about three years ago I started getting MRSA flare ups a few times a year. Cue horror movie music and once again I'm fighting off MRSA. Which, while problematic, can be taken care of with typical prescription drugs except that I'm allergic to eleven different drugs. Doctors always get this 'deer in headlights' look about them when they need to prescribe for me as it's somewhat of a crap-shoot if I'm going to get sick (or shuffle off my mortal coil) from a new drug. Or an old drug that my body can't really tolerate anymore. Nice, right?   So I've given this some thought and I think MRSA is a government conspiracy (not really) that is really either an Alien Love Spore Infection (aka 'Body Snatchers') or The Zombie Death Plague (aka 'Resident Evil') that is trying to take over our world. Who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll wake up with an insatiable need for Braaaiiiiiins, the desire to moan piteously, and a serious case of personal decomposition. Well, right now I'm up early and forcing myself to eat a large breakfast because you can't take one of the only anti-MRSA (Zombie Death Plague) drugs on a lonely bagel or banana filled stomach. It's the equivalent of a nuclear bomb going off in your body and all sort of bacteria and whatnot die. Even the 'good' bacteria. Needless to say the next few days will be fun.   Obviously it's been a busy few days and the entire thing started off after bug bites I got from hiking and picnicking became infected. I'm taking this as proof that trees are evil, and mother nature is out to get me. From now on the only wilderness I want to be experiencing is the shopping mall on a Saturday during a 50% off sale! So other than that debacle I've been dealing with insurance stuff. See, my insurance approval is waiting on my PCP to send proof that I've been heavy for the last few years. I've been waiting for two weeks. So basically I called up my PCP last night and we chatted and I said that I have a somewhat narrow window of opportunity in April to get this surgery and I need this paperwork now. He pinkie promised to get it done and sent in today or tomorrow, thank goodness. If he doesn't...well...my friends and family know that I have a....creative...sense of humor :ph34r: . And my PCP has known me for a long, long time. *wicked smile*   So fighting off Zombieism, battling insurance companies, and decorating cakes. And who said that life was boring?   PS- Seriously, if I hit the "Add Entry" button (which should read "If You Hit This Button All Your Work Will Be Erased You Need To Hit Publish Now You Idiot" ONE MORE TIME I might throw a tantrum worthy of a 'Toddlers and Tiaras' contestant!
Lyra

Lyra

1
 

Afraid To Shop...wait, What?!?

I finally had to bite the bullet and go shopping as my pants almost hit my ankles at work the other day! May I just mention thank god for goodwill? I have absolutely NO desire to spend $20 on jeans that wont fit in two weeks. Also Walmart has decent $5 plain t-shirts so while I am in no way fashionable, at least I don't look like a hobo anymore!! It's bad when even your boss starts giving you hints that maybe you should go buy some new clothes! All told I got 2 pairs of jeans, 1 pair of shorts, a new bra, and 3 shirts for $53 bucks. Yeah I spent extra money on the bra, but I'm a firm believer that the ladies have to be slung high and comfy! *grin* I've been washing clothes and sorting them for the thriftstore over the past several days and my walk in closet is looking verrrrrrry anemic!   I will say that I was scared to go shopping and was thankful that my BFF went with me. Isn't that hilarious? I have enough guts to move on my own to places where I know nobody, fight in martial arts against huge muscle-y guys, and have this surgery but shopping scared me?! After some thought I realized I just felt so overwhelmed at how much stuff I really need. Literally from the skin outward I not only had no clue what size I was anymore but what I should wear. Don't get me wrong, I have very decided opinions about fashion but being..err...plumptious for so many years I often just had to dress in clothes that I would not have chosen if there were other options. It was kinda funny because my BFF had made a comment that with my laid back style I should be able to find lots of clothes as I get smaller. I told her that she had never actually seen my preferred type of clothes because they didn't make them in my size and that I thought she would be very surprised. I don't think anybody really realizes how girly I would dress if I had a choice! I can't wait for that day when I can go into any store and realize that I can fit in their clothes. It's already happening as I'm down to a size 18 in pants! Still big, but thank god no longer a tight 24!! I'm also super excited that I lost a cup size and 4 inches around my ribcage.   When we went shopping it was just supposed to be my BFF and I but her husand decided to tag along. It was kinda funny because when he asked me if it was okay I told him that yeah, it was fine but that he wasn't allowed to b***h and moan after 45 minutes when he got bored. That I had to get clothes and we would be going in and out a ton of stores and it might be a good idea for him to bring a book. Which he did and was very thankful for, although to give the man props he didn't complain over the entire 5 hour ordeal.   It's hard to believe sometimes how much my life is changing, and I'm so thankful that I could just kiss my doctor!
Lyra

Lyra

2
 

"baaaa", Goes The Sheep.

The first days of the liquid diet suuuuucks. Running around the store, making cakes, and working next to a hot oven on liquids only is horrible. Seriously, cannibalism is looking good. Or I'm imagining that my cat would taste good with sweet and sour sauce (joke). *laughs* I was so hungry today that I definitely had a decorating theme going on! I did cupcakes with pigs, chickens, and some very cute and quizzical looking sheep today! They were super cute but everyone was making fun of me for having food on the brain. I hear that by day 3 things get better. I hope so as I feel light-headed and very Ms. Grumpy-pants. I think it would have been okay if the ice cream truck hadn't parked outside my apartment complex with its dastardly song for 20 minutes. I swear the ice cream truck song ignites a rather Pavlovian response in humans of any age! Somehow I don't think that peanut butter milkshakes are on the 'approved liquid list'. Oh well, only 5 more days to go!   The other day was my final pre-op nutrition class, along with my final pre-op doctor's class. The nutrition class was interesting if very, very long. One of the guys in the class pretty much told the nutritionist that he would eat whatever he wanted to, thank you very much. That kinda boggles the mind as it seems like you're setting yourself up for a rather expensive failure. Thank goodness I don't have that mindset.   I have a crazily busy week coming up. Hopefully the days will fly by quickly. Luckily I have plenty of B-rated horror movies to watch on my lovely day off today! Woot woot!
Lyra

Lyra

0

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