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My Thoughts and Feelings

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I Don't Know What To Do About My Family Anymore....

As long as I can remember my mother has been overweight. Over my 27 years on earth I have watched her go from overweight, to obese, morbidly obese, to super morbidly obese and I'm not even sure what comes after that... She weights over 600lbs now though. She's one of those people who doesn't leave the house, has like every known issue related to being over 600lbs, and has recently developed neuropathy in her right foot- in my head I know it's only a matter of time now before she loses that foot/leg. I'm so scared for my mother. I'm scared of being like my mother or becoming like her. I've removed 80% of my stomach for crying out loud.   My uncle is diabetic and is now legally blind as a result of him never following his diet. His kids get mad at you and fight with people over giving their father junk food. Like with literally yell at you that's their father blah blah blah. So last night at a birthday party they want to send me home with cake for my parents. Helloo0o0o0o0o double standard much?   My sister weighs a little over 400lbs and is trying to get insurance so she can have VSG or RNY. Yet knowing she wants to do this she can't stop eating cookies, brownies, candy and whatever else she wants. Even before deciding to have surgery I was conscience of eating those things- and once I decided to have surgery they were a thing of the past for me. The insurance she is may get is only gonna pay for Lapband or RNY. And I'm thinking, she'll have to do RNY because of how heavy she is. And I want her to do it and be healthy! I don't want her to be happy for me but dying with jealousy and longing at the same time when she looks at me. But how is she gonna do this when she never exercises any self-control? No one in my family does! And with RNY she'll have dumping syndrome!   What do I do for my family? I love them so much and I hate watching what is happening to them. I wish they felt like they were worth fighting food for. I want my mother around when I beat PCOS and have children and she's not going to be. I know it is terrible to say but I mostly just need it off of my chest. I almost wish she'd just die now so I don't have to watch it anymore. It's just gonna get worse and become even more taxing on my sister and I as she gets worse and we have to take care of her even more. As it is every meal is brought to her and taken away from her. Tantrums to go get bologna or pizza hut are not uncommon.   And all of this is going on while I still recover from my VSG surgery. I feel like something has to give. When is it enough? When do people wake up? When does it get better? When do we get to be happy?

illgeturhairdid

illgeturhairdid

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