I'm still feeling the effects from my adrenal attack the other night I'm still quite tired and weak - food doesn't sit all that well (which means I'm not eating much, so I guess there's a positive side haha), but I'm nauseous too. This is typical but usually doesn't last this long after. Its really hard to concentrate on work when you feel like this! Good thing I'm an understanding boss!
So, last night I had an adrenal attack. Basically, I have a panic attack, but without the mental aspect of it. It lasted about 12 hours. Its extremely painful and the only thing that seems to ease the pain is extremely hot water. Even the hot tub wasn't hot enough. I'm extremely exhausted now because of the lack of sleep. Its amazing how much pain something so small as an adrenal tumor can cause. After I have my sleeve, I'll be scheduled for additional treatment for the tumors. I cannot wait for that to happen. This surgery has more of an effect on things than my weight. My doctor is hoping that it will help to restore my thyroid function as well as help with the PCOS and allow better treatment for my insomnia and endometriosis - most of which was caused by the steroid treatments I was on for years. So here's to getting all of this started and solved!
I'm just a little over 3 weeks away from surgery. I'm nervous/excited. I started stocking up on soups and whatnot for my "clear liquids" portion of the process. I'm not a very good broth-eater, but I'll do it! Still waiting on my passport to get here - I have to renew my drivers license because that expires at the same time - UGH! What a pain!
In 30 days I will be giving myself the best tool I can find to get my life back. I have tried for a couple of years now to work with insurance companies and it just didn't work out. Either they didn't cover the procedure, didn't deem it medically necessary, or I lost my insurance as soon as I got approval, or my employer didn't pay my insurance premiums - its just been one thing after another. I tried 5 times with insurance companies. Not always their fault, certainly not mine. This time, I've got the power in my own hands. I have the funds to do it myself (pay for the surgery, not perform the surgery - although I would if they would let me! haha) I'll be heading to Mexico the day after my birthday to have the surgery. Dr. Almanza will be performing it. I have done a TON of research. I know that this is the best option for me. I probably won't stay in the recovery house, but at the hotel with my husband. I can't stand being around people when I don't feel well - especially if they don't feel well too. I would like to have my husband be comfortable and he won't be unless he's WITH me. I understand that I will be in a surgical clinic - I'm fine with that - in fact, I prefer it. Hospitals are the biggest source of infections there is - why? because there's SICK people there! I don't feel I need an ICU on hand. I don't have any comorbidities to worry about. I'm actually in relatively good health now that I'm past the heavy metal poisoning and unfortunately I'm left with about 200 lbs extra of me from the aftermath of the treatment of chelation and steroids. I of course didn't help matters - I was weak and couldn't exercise. I was pumped full of steroids and was unsatiably hungry at all times. I made poor food choices a lot of the time. Would I still be in this situation if I had made the best food choices? Yes. But probably not as bad. In conjunction with my surgery, I'll have additional treatment for all the steroid damage. I'm looking forward to getting my life back. It hasn't been all that long that I've been without it. This all started in late 2007. So its been 4 years. 4 years since I've been a size 10. 4 years since I ran 5 miles a day. 4 years since my husband looked at me like I was absolutely the only person on the planet besides him. 4 years since I've had the confidence to be who I am. I can't wait to have that back. Just recently, I've realized my actual size. Wow did that hit me hard. Before, and sometimes still, I feel myself to be a "normal" sized person. Hopefully that will help with body image issues. My body was never perfect, but I was comfortable with it. That's all I want to be - healthy, active, and comfortable. Here's to that goal.
