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Im My Own Worst Enemy...just Need A Little Kick In The Arse.

SO I was sleeved 12-19-11 and I am down about 62 lbs. im super stoked to be seeing the changes in my body and clothes. As the eternal pessimist that I am, I cant help but to see how far I need to go. i think my fears take over, and i end worrying about EVERYTHING. Lately its that I have stretched my sleeve. i definitely can eat more now than i could. I try to make the best choices, but i get so down on myself if I have eaten something "fattening", or high in calories. Don't get me wrong, im not drinking milkshakes and eating fries...Things like..today i grabbed apples and peanut butter at a local store...Of course I really wanted the breakfast sandwich my husband ate. Then hours later, i got a salad at a local food chain, and when i looked up the nutrition facts when I got home, i wanted to cry! 500 calories and 30 grams of fat!! (there was the 48 grams of protein though) I made two meals out of it...but WOW. The weight is coming off MUCH slower than before..so i cant help but to feel as if im doing it all wrong..or stretched my sleeve. Im hoping to find people out there that are along the same time frame out, or longer, that can offer some advice or reassurance.
Soon to be me

Soon to be me

3
 

Needing Help From My Women Sleevers Out There..

So, I got my sleeve on December 19th 2011. Im four months out and 60lbs down! (whoo-hoo!!) With that being said..before my sleeve, i had not had regular periods for about 6 years. I gained my weight very fast, with my first pregnancy, and my GYN thought that was the culprit. I would only get my period maybe 2-3 times a year, and this concerned her. I was pretty ok with the whole deal, before i knew that at my age, it could cause some serious health risks. Since the surgery, i have gotten two periods. One was last month. Last week i finally got under 200 lbs for the first time in YEARS and was elated! i was at 197. this week, im at 203!!! My last period started about three, almost four weeks ago, and im praying to bb jesus that Aunt flow is on her way. I did have a day that i didnt eat as good as i normally do, and i feel like im REALLY paying for it. I guess what im looking for is, well, has anyone had problems with their cycles before the sleeve, and became regular after losing some lbs? ANNND how much do you guys usually gain during your time? I never noticed when i was regular..cause i was not consciousness of my weight like i should of been (obviously) Im so scared that i have TRUELY gained weight..i havent gained at ALL with the sleeve. I have stalled...but this, this is disheartening.
Soon to be me

Soon to be me

3
 

First Night Back To Work, Tonight. Im So Nervous.

So tomorrow will be 7 weeks post-op for me, and tonight is my first night back to work. I am in SUCH a funk. Im pretty wigged out by the fact that EVERY ONE will be staring at me..trying to see if they notice a difference. I get it, I do. I did the same the thing to co-workers. Its only natural. It dosen't make it any easier to deal with though. I know alot of us big people are so use to being out of the lime light, that being the subject of anyone's attention, (let alone a large amount of people) is completely uncomfortable. i have been getting ready for work since 3pm. Im do in at 6:45 :n \ I think part of my problem, is that im stalled right now too. So, it makes it a little harder to be all excited when inside your doing the whole.."OMG!! The loss has stopped! What am I doing wrong???" thing. Of course that little voice in my head is being dumb..and should know better. It's still an on going issue for me, that I try hard to reslove. i just needed to get this out. Maybe it will help me in my funk..to purge a bit. Ima go shake my ass and give everyone something to look at..lol!
Soon to be me

Soon to be me

4
 

Nsv...(Non Scale Victory)

I can cross my legs!!!! I can cross my legs..like a WOMAN!! WHOOO-HOOOO! It does not look perfect,(as in.. back of knee is not, FLUSH against top of knee) BUT the fact that I'm capable to in any fashion, is AMAZING! Just had to share..Can't remember the last time I was able to <3
Soon to be me

Soon to be me

1
 

Just Saw And Felt The Results Thus Far!

For someone who is known for finding the silver lining in any dark cloud, an eternal ray of optimism for her friends and family...I sure am a Debbie Downer when it comes to matters of self. I have been so negative, so hard on myself about this sleeve since I got it. Its as if i choose not to trust it, and have faith in our success together, in fear of failure. When it comes to weight loss, i think all of us VSGer's have come to know that feeling at some point in time. I've thought that its too good to be true..that im eating too much at one time, that my sleeve is stretching etc, etc. Im four weeks out, and as of monday i am down 18lbs since surgery. 28lbs since the start of the process. i should be celebrating that, instead of scrutinizing it. So tonight, I went into my bedroom, and pulled out the little clothes. Particularly, my work scrubs. I fought myself, thinking, "do you really want to do this to yourself?" "Your not going to fit in those things girl, you couldn't get that one pair of pants over your thighs!" They ALL fit!!! I had two pairs, that i bought small. I wore them things like a second skin. I actually wore spanx with them!! LOL!! I was so mad that i didnt try them on at the uniform store, that i tortured myself, and made myself wear them to work anyways. I wore them twice..Once a pair. My weight was around 236 then..where i always would seem to get stuck. Let me tell you..they fit PERFECT!! Im soo stoked! I had other articles given to me, that never fit, and Im rocking them! Even the size Large Dickies pants that I couldn't get over my thighs..fit perfectly! Im so excited..It was so awesome to actually see, and feel the results! for the first time! Im going to come back to this post, when i start with the doubting..and remember that this is for real. <3ing my sleve!
Soon to be me

Soon to be me

6
 

Afraid Of Over Eating..

obviously, I do not try to over eat. I can't seem to figure out when im full.. It happens all of a sudden..im like, "Oh sugar snaps! im REALLY full." Im so scared to stretch out my new belly. thoughts anyone?
Soon to be me

Soon to be me

2
 

My Protein Shake Brings All The Boys To The Yard..lol!

Well, I gotta say, Im way over choking down the nasty whey protein. There has to be something more enjoyable out there. I had a packet of the strawberry sorbet by unjury..I was not impressed. So I have been reluctant to try anything else from them. I have milk chocolate and vanilla by EAS right now. Its cheap, and meets my requirements. My husband lifts heavy weights, and this is what he has always used. During my pre op diet, i was completely satisfied with that product. strange that im not now. SOO VSG family, whats your fav flav? Is there anything you add to your shakes that makes all the difference?
Soon to be me

Soon to be me

10
 

Im Feeling So Disappointed...

I know this surgery isn't some miracle thing..I know its a tool in my weight loss trade..but seriously?? I can't help to feel like i put myself, and family, through SO much..I took such huge risks, but im not reaping the benefits. I was 247 DOS 12-19-11 and today I am 231. yesterday i was 229.(yeah, i lose a lb or two, then i gain it) 16-17 lbs sounds good in three weeks, until you realize that most of that was in the first week. I do what I suppose to..except not expecting this weight to come off. I'm so scared that I did this all for nothing.
Soon to be me

Soon to be me

6
 

Seriously?

So here I am on day 11 post-op. In the first seven days I lost over 10 lbs. the last 4 days, i have not lost a thing. :n ( Im so dissapointed, i feel like im doing something wrong... I always seemed to get stuck at 236, on every diet I went on, and here is 236 again. not budging. It just dosen't make sense to me, i barely eat a thing, i get in all my fluids and protien..im pretty bummed today.
Soon to be me

Soon to be me

7
 

Post Op Day Three

So, My sleeve was done on 12-19-11..I was suppose to come home the very next day..but due to the fact that i was soooo nauseous, and couldnt hold anything down, i had to stay another night. The gas pains were awful, and throwing up blood mixed with bile certainly was a highlighted moment either. BUT, Im home. I hardly had any sleep in the hospital, and am looking forward to climbing in my big ole bed this evening. I feel much better than I did, though, im still nauseated at times. The smell of things are getting to me as well..almost like when i was preggers, and had the nose of a blood hound. lol! Im still so scared that this isnt going to work for me, its so sureal. But im excited to prove myself wrong!
Soon to be me

Soon to be me

5
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