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4 April 07 - Countdown begins!

Today I started my two week post-op diet. I was doing really well until lunch when I was completely famished!! Luckily some steamed vege did the trick - I wonder how long before I crave something terribly naughty!   I took my 'before' photos which was very brave of me. Braver still was going out and buying a new sexy set of scales (if you can call scales sexy... somehow I don't think you can). Later in the day I finally plucked up the courage to jump on. I had prepared myself for it to be bad but I obviously hadn't prepared myself quite enough!! After not weighing myself for about a year I thought I would be around 115kg/253pounds. (which would have meant I had gained 20kg in a year) BUT NO!! I was shocked to find I had eaten my way to 121.2kg/266pounds!!!!! A weight gain of over 25kg/55pounds.   My boyfriend weighed himself too and he was a mere 76.8kg/169pounds. Ahhhh!!!! I am nearly twice as heavy as him. So my goal is to get to 70kg... well and truely under him.   And there you have it. I just need to make it through the rest of the day and there will only be 13 more to go until the op that will totally change my life. I just can't wait!!!!!
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hard going... due to cheating!

Well I have found the past week and a half incredibly difficult. I have not been able to stop thinking about food. I feel like an addict trying, and failing, to detox. I have cheated every day except today! I just couldn't get control of myself. I didn't realise just how much pleasure I got from food and eating. I felt like my best friend had been taken from me never to be seen again! I know this is irrational but the 'need' to eat was so overpowering I just gave in. I truely admire people with will power!   Luckily I seem to have gotten over this difficult time and I haven't cheated, or wanted to cheat, at all today! YAY! It is such a relief! I can only put the sudden change of heart and mind down to the support of my lovely boyfriend and the lapband site. I had been avoiding it during my 'cheating' stage as I think I just didn't want to NOT cheat. If that makes sense. I finally got back on it today and I'm really pleased I did. It is very supportive and I just feel so much better and sort of 'at peace' with the diet now. Gosh, what a head case!   I also weighed myself today and I'm really pleased that dispite my best efforts to sabatage my progress I have lost 2.6kg/5.72pounds. I'm really hoping I will have lost a bit more before my op. The last thing I want is for my surgeon to tell me I haven't done enough!! I have really tried, really struggled, and now I'm finally suceeding!   MUST KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!!!!!
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